POWERFUL WAYS TO AVOID CONFLICT
Here is a list of twelve ways you can solve conflict nonviolently. There are probably many more ways. Perhaps you, your friends, your family, or your teacher can think of others.
1) Make Friends: Treat the bully as a friend instead of an enemy. I don't know a bully who doesn't need admira-tion and respect.
2) Use Humor: You can turn a scary situation into a funny one. But be careful! Just don't make fun of the bully!
3) Trickery: Pretend you are sick. Pretend you have poison oak and that if you fight with the bully he will get what you have. Tell the bully someone is about to meet you. Pretend to faint.
4) Walk Away: Don't get into it. Just walk away. This is a simple and often overlooked way to end conflict before it begins.
5) Agree: If a bully insults you, agree with him. Even if you feel insulted, let your anger rise up and let it go.
Just agree with the bully and see what happens.
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6) Refuse to fight: This probably sounds contrary to what you have always been told, but one way to stop a conflict is to just not fight, no matter what happens.
7) Stand Up to the Bully: This can work, but it can also make the bully angrier. You must decide if you think this alternative will work.
8) Scream/Yell: A good shout or yell (Kiai) can shock the bully and distract him/her for a moment so you can get away.
9) Ignore the Threats: This is similar to simply walking away. You hear the threats and you turn and walk away from the bully, even though the bully is calling you a coward and trying to get you angry enough to react.
10) Use Authority: Call a teacher, a police officer, a parent, or someone you know who can help stop the bully from hurting you.
11) Reason With the Bully: If you are a good talker, perhaps you and the bully can talk it out. If you don't argue or get angry, if you act friendly, you might convince the bully not to hurt you.
12) Take a Karate Stance: As a last resort, you can take a strong Karate combat stance. This tells the bully that you are prepared to protect yourself if you are attacked.
But hopefully, one or more of the other suggested ways to end the conflict will work.
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When using one or more of these alternatives, it is important to remember:
1. Use an alternative and then move away from the bully as soon as possible.
2. Don't stand there and argue with a person who is threatening you.
3. Distract the person from wanting to hurt you and then get away.
4. Look for a nearby house to walk up to as if you lived there, or look for an adult to help you.
It is important to talk to your friends, family, and teachers about these alternatives and to practice with them. In the chapter that follows, we will talk about practicing these ways to end conflict so that you are more fully prepared in the event you are approached by someone that may want to do you harm.
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