10.Faith in acceptance
Be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
An old man sits starring out of a nursing home window. He feels he's been imprisoned there for a year. His son is to blame. He starts to plot his revenge. “You're lucky if you don't have children. They betray you in the end”, he bitterly snarls at his family.
From a childhood of physical abuse that has passed through generations, his two sons have decided, “Enough. We can't continue to have him ruin our lives. We'll manage his affairs financially, but from hereon in, we have to step away from the venom. We can't allow ourselves to be his victim for life. Even though he's our father, we can't let the abuse continue. For both our sakes, we have to end it here. We'll feel guilty, but enough's enough”.
The lesson learned from this story is to have faith in acceptance. To have the courage to know you can't change the past, but you can change your reaction to that past. You can stop being his victim and start to live your own life, with or if necessary, without him. He will always be family, but he must learn the lesson of change. Step away from him now and hope he can adjust to the situation and alter his attitude before it's too late. If he can't, you have to accept this.
You have to understand:
1. Nothing occurs randomly in this life. Your relationship now is father and son. You think, “Well you can't choose your parents”. But in reality, both of you did choose each other long before either entered this life.
“But why would I choose an abusive parent?” you ask. The reason is to learn the lesson of acceptance. To know that some things cannot be changed and that neither you nor he can be allowed to be victims. If the situation was allowed to continue, he would become a victim of his negative nature. For your souls to progress, movement must be in a forward, not a backward direction.
Each person, however ignorant you consider them at this stage in their development, has their own path to follow. If this person now cannot move forward, you must consider yourself first. You move, if your family member now cannot. Have faith that I will soften their heart gradually over time. If there is not enough time left in their life to do this, know that you will be reconciled eventually.
They will realize their faults, if not at the end of this life, then after they have died. You don't know this now, but each soul does see the bigger picture eventually, if not in their earthly body, then when they have passed. And thanks to you, they will finally become a forward soul. For this earthly lesson, they will then be able to give thanks. Gratitude is hard to learn. But change, love and positivity are impossible without it.
You'll feel guilt now, but you must shield yourself from their spite and blame. You can't function having these emotions in your heart and neither can they. All they feel is venom. This negativity must be got over, in order for either of you to have that happy life that we all envisage.
2. You must concentrate on yourself first. You have to be selfish here. As you cannot directly change another, you have to focus on yourself. Stop always being the victim and caving into that person's demands. This is dangerous for both of you. It means neither is ever moving forward in their lives. Through sacrificing your own needs, you're only increasing the tormentor's need for power. This is bloated power that sends you both charging backwards.
By accepting the victim situation and stepping away from it, you both stand a chance. You'll feel guilty at first, but have faith that it will create the best situation in the long run. If necessary create some distance between you. Go on a holiday, leave the bully's place of work. Allow distance to give you some perspective.
Start to work on yourself. You need to add to your power firstly. You've become a minnow, due to giving into a bully mentality your whole life. You need space and resolution in your life.
From years of harassment, intend to give yourself peace. Just sitting peacefully for five minutes a day to start with, watching your breathing – in, out, in, out. You'll think about the situation you're escaping from, but after a few days, you'll concentrate less and less on your tormentor and more and more on just the breathing. You'll feel more detached from the situation and more focused on what you need.
You are becoming a peaceful soul. Now look at what you want from your life. You've always been centered on what others want. This does neither any good. You need to be kind to yourself.
What I have now:
Dependents
A continual negative situation that saps all my strength
I'm tired all the time
I'm in a subservient position at home and at work
There's constant demands
I'm weak and powerless
I always give in
I end up hating my life
How I want my life to become:
Independents
Positive situations
Feelings of limitless power
I can control my own life at home and at work
Everyone pitches in and helps get things done I'm strong
I do what's best for myself. If I continually give in everyone suffers
I love my life
3. How to have limitless power
What causes you to have sagging energy and feel despondent with life? To walk around with frown lines between your eyes and feel depressed?
Guilt
Not accepting a situation left over from the past, means you're carrying that past around with you always. If the person who caused this problem is still in your life, you have to accept you can't change that person and distance yourself from them. If they are out of your life through death or divorce, you need to find peace from these past deeds. I am here to help. You have to want to be healed and with faith can be.
Fear
This saps your energy. Constant problems are always arising in your mind. You're scared to even make a move. How can this not sap your strength and make you into a depressed mess? Write out your fears one by one and examine them. Which are possibilities and which are highly unlikely? You have a small chance of being killed today by a terrorist bomb – it's possible but unlikely. Just reason with yourself and dig deep into your soul for the help to overcome these fears. I don't want you to be always bogged down and impeded in life. Accept you're a powerful person and I can give you the peace needed to overcome the fear.
Lack of control of your life
“I'm just a powerless person totally ruled by my impetuousness. I try hard to keep things together but everything just spirals out of control. It's always downward as well”. You spend all day telling yourself your life is heading in the wrong direction and you can't do anything about it. No wonder you're in a downward spiral. You're not looking at how your attitude is contributing to this mess and how new ideas can get you out of it. Look at your attitude towards money and relationships. Are you taking everything that you have for granted? I'll soften your heart and lead you back towards balance. We are one.
God is energy
You are energy
All is energy
Energy is limitless
You are energy. This energy creates the power for you to make use of. Know how to tap into this power and it will provide a limitless pool for you to use. Have faith to make use of this power and charge yourself up into a dynamic individual. Pass energy-producing thoughts through your brain throughout your day.
Morning
Give thanks for the wonderful day ahead
You can easily carry out your assigned tasks
With this much energy I can forge forward with new ideas as well
Midday
I feel peace and satisfaction linked to this day
I am at harmony with life because of this
I don't rush around fruitlessly using up all my energy
I carry out my tasks easily and with positive outcomes
Evening
I sit back and examine the day with satisfaction
I give thanks for the day
I can sit back and relax completely
I sleep well
If problems arise during the day, work to overcome them and know that they will be solved. Use your emotional self-mastery to totally release and creatively use this untapped energy. Once you start to make use of this limitless resource, your life will surge upward.