Here's how I mentally approach meeting a new woman: I'm cocky and funny, I steal their lines, I tease them, and I don't ever give them a break.
In my opinion, the one most important skill, no matter your looks,height, age, or income - is humor.
I don't care if you're four feet tall and have one eye. If you can make women laugh consistently and get those good feelings flowing through them, they'll love you.
I decided last year to start actually STUDYING comedy, as I’ve found that people (women) respond to it better than any other thing in the whole entire universe. So I did a bunch of reading on the internet to find the best books, and I bought about 5 or 6 of them.
One book that I read called “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Helitzer made a great point. He said that most of being funny is the CHARACTER and not the jokes.
Most of the guys that I meet who want to learn to meet women are working on the 'jokes' in their life and not the 'character.' I did it for about two years myself. I tried to learn all kinds of lines and B.S. It finally dawned on me that women were not really that concerned with all of that… they wanted a particular CHARACTER. The lines didn’t much matter, as long as they fit in with the character. Now that I have created this CHARACTER for myself, things are all different. Women now call me. They pursue me. They want to be around me. It’s strange and magical and weird.
So what’s the character that they want? Good question. I have a good friend who’s the best I’ve ever seen at picking up women in bars and having sex with them that night. Now, I do better getting numbers and following up. But this guy is just a machine. And his whole mindset towards meeting women is to be “Cocky and funny” (his words). My opinion is that women are turned off by arrogant men… UNLESS… they’re DAMN FUNNY. This magic combination will attract women like Bill Clinton attracts chubby interns. I’m following in my buddy’s footsteps.
I’ll try to summarize the character that I've developed:
“I know that this girl is secretly trying to pick up on me… I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again.”
I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye.
Or say “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face.
I say things that make them actually think that I’m serious, but leave a shadow of a doubt.
Here’s what I’m looking for: If they respond in an insecure way and say “Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t know that I was touching you” I’ll keep it going… and say “Well, you did. And if you’re going to keep doing it, I’d appreciate it if you’d touch a little higher.” They crack up.
If they shoot something funny back like “Well, touchy touchy” and they know that I’m kidding, I just stay in character and say “Yes, I don’t like being touched. So keep a foot or so between us please” and keep it going.
And yes, sometimes (not often) I’ll meet a cold one and she’ll get uptigh I just walk away.
If you’re going to do this, you have to remember to keep it going for the entire time… don’t turn into a dumb ass at the first sign of her liking you. Keep up the character, playing hard to get, etc. forever!
Here's a list of some that I use personally and how you can use them:
1. Whenever someone has an emotional response to something, say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" For instance, if a woman says "I just HATE it when people smoke around me!" say "How do you REALLY feel about it?" The sarcasm is that they've showed that they have VERY strong feelings, so the "How do you REALLY feel" creates a joke on them that they're overly emotional.
2. Say "Anyway" and look away quickly after making a wise crack. For instance, if someone says "That girl over there is ugly" say "Oh, I thought she was you-anyway" (look away quickly). The looking away and quick "Anyway" trying to get off the topic creates a funny moment.
3. Misinterpret what women say. Always listen for opportunities to misinterpret words like it. If you say "Let's go over to the bar to have a drink" and the woman says "Let's do it," turn to her and say "Let's do it? You mean right here? I think the line for a bathroom stall is too long, and I'd rather have a drink."
4. Look for sexual innuendo in everything, and use it to accuse her of trying to seduce you before you even know her. If she says "Well, I'm getting tired, and I think it's time for bed" say "Bed? I mean, I don't even know if you know how to kiss... and you're trying to get me into bed? What happened to the old days where you could make friends first?"
5. Exaggerate. If a woman walks by that's overweight, say "What would you guess? 900 pounds?" Or if a woman complains about part of her body or her clothing (I love these opportunities), exaggerate it. For instance, she says "My hair looks like hell today" you say "I didn't want to say anything." Ohhhh this is funny stuff. You'll usually get a hit on the arm (for which you can spank her on the ass). Then you can go on all night making fun of her hair, talking about how everyone is looking at it, how you're embarrassed to be seen with her because of it, etc.
6. Connect things around you current affairs in a funny way. If a woman with a huge butt walks by say "Hey, Jennifer Lopez is in the house." If a woman starts talking about how she just bought herself a new car, say "I like the effect that the Independent Woman song is having on you." (These are, of course, currently funny. Next year it will be a different set of things).
7. Don't smile too much, and don't laugh at your own jokes very often. When you smile or laugh, it releases the tension. If you can keep a straight face, the joke stays funnier longer.
OK, there's a list of basic things that I've learned about how to be funny. I'd recommend that you start studying humor, read books about it, go to comedy clubs, and learn more advanced skills.
Also, start reading Maxim and Stuff magazines. Read how they always use reversal humor. This is some good funny stuff.
Let's Be Friends
Have you ever noticed how women will say "I like him, but only as a FRIEND."
Don't you hate that?
I thought about that one for a long time, and a friend of mine and I have figured out how to turn this one around. Now I always make reference to ‘making friends’ and ‘let’s get together and make friends’ and ‘if nothing else, we can be friends’ in the first conversation and when setting up the first coffee date.
Then when on the date, I talk about why I like to make ‘friends’ first to get to know the other person. ‘I think that you’re going to make a nice friend.'
Then, after the friendship frame is established, I flirt like hell, and make sexual innuendoes and jokes. This immediately sets up the idea that I'm very in control of myself, and that I'm going to JUDGE whether l want to be more than friends based on something more than JUST HER LOOKS.
This is something that a woman has most likely NEVER encountered (as you know, this is a favorite of mine).
By the way, if you talk about being friends first, it makes you remember to look past the looks and find out what kind of person you're dealing with (If I had a dollar for every guy I know, including myself, that screwed his life up by getting too involved with a woman because she was attractive on the outside, but turned out to be a horrible person...)
You can keep up this 'let's be friends' fun forever. Even after you start dating, still talk about it. It's fun to have fun with it. You'll see.