Chapter Six: How To Develop A Personality Irresistible To Women
In my experience, it's far better to ATTRACT a woman than to CHASE a woman.
If a woman is ATTRACTED to you, half the game is over.
In sales, it's much easier to sell your product to someone who's called you and said "Can you help me?" than to try to sell to people who you've called cold.
Here's my premise: Women are attracted to men for certain reasons and they go through a specific sequence internally when they are attracted to a man - there is a system, a sequence, a code if you want. And once you know what it is, you can develop a method to create this sequence more often. You can use this fact that there is a 'genetic mating sequence' to help you.
Be Different In An Attractive Way
By studying marketing and sales, I've learned that humans are attracted to things that are unique. They are also attracted to things that are superior. So I have a phrase that I use: "Different in a preferential way." In the dating game, it pays to be different in an ATTRACTIVE way.
What I'm about to share with you is a group of ingredients. These are the different ingredients that women are attracted to. It's up to you to take what you have, and to use this list to augment your personality in such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of women that you're interested in. The key is to be different in an attractive way.
But make sure that you're not too different! If you get too carried away with this, you'll be outside of the realm of 'normal' and you will wind up hurting yourself. So experiment and test to see what works for you.
Your enemies are insecurity and neediness. Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to success with women. Insecurity and neediness are two sides of the same coin.
A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows that he's insecure when he ACTS on these needs.Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in the situation that he's in. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence that is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.
Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.
Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:
Hanging on a woman. Don't touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Women take this as neediness and insecurity. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you.
Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk to much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure.
Having emotional responses to things. If it's obvious to a woman that you will get upset about things easily, then she will judge you to be insecure.
Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what's going to happen, then do it. If you are always asking "Well, what do you think I should do?" and "Where do you want to go tonight?" and "What do you want?" you'll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she'll let you know.
Saying or doing things to just to be noticed or to get compliments. I've known a lot of men who try to act cool or show off to get attention. This telegraphs to a woman that you're insecure and needy. Don't do it. If you're cool, she'll figure it out without you telling her.
Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you're one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you're insecure and needy.
How Men Usually Find Women
I've read several books on mating and courtship behavior among different species of animals (Including humans!). The funny thing is that humans do just about the same things as most other animals,with slight variations.
Here are the main ways male animals (humans included) find females:
Staking out a small territory among other males where females come specifically to select between males who are displaying for them (called Lekking in the animal kingdom).
Staking out a larger territory where other males aren't allowed and showing that they can provide for a female because they control a large territory.
Visiting places where females gather or are likely to be and displaying for them.
Choosing a spot where they are very visible and displaying in hopes that a passing female will show interest.
Some human equivalents of these are:
Hanging out at a gym or on the beach with other guys to show off for women.
Buying a big house and inviting women over to see how successful and rich you are, and that you can provide for them.
Going to a Yoga class where you know there will be 10 women for every man.
Becoming famous or popular, thus placing yourself in the path of many women.
The point is, there's nothing new under the sun. If you want to meet women, you have to:
1) Decide what kind of woman you want.
2) Find out what is attractive to her and be it.
3) Go where these women are likely to be (or set up a situation where they come to you).
4) Approach them and engage (or, if you can figure out how to get them to approach you, do that.).
It's all the same game. Most men that are failures with women aren't willing to do what it takes to be successful. That's the bottom line. I'm going to give you the secret ingredients that attract women and invite you to combine some of them with your personality in order to attract the kind of women that you're interested in. The question is "Are you willing to do the work that it will take to be successful?"