yes, fortunately, there are no two faces exactly alike. If all faces did look alike, we couldn't remember them, or the names, memory system or not. I have been challenged many times, to remember the first names of a set of identical twins. So far, I have always been able to spot one difference, however minute, in their faces. It is to this difference that I would associate their names. So, as the French say, "Vive la difference!"
If you have studied the previous chapters on how to remember names and faces; and if you have tried the methods, you should be greatly improved by now. Although in most cases it is the second, or family names that most of us want to remember, some of you may be interested in remembering first, or given names as well. This too, can be done with a conscious association. You can use a substitute word for the first name, and get that into your original mental picture; or, you can picture someone you know very well, having the same first name, with the person you wish to remember.
151Substitute words for first names are easy to find; Harry could be "hairy"; Clark could be "clock"; for William, I always picture a man with a bow and arrow as William Tell, while money or "rich" always means Richard, to me. Anne could be "ant"; Marion could be "marrying"; for Gloria, you might see the American Flag (Old Glory), etc.
If you use the substitute word idea for remembering first names, after a while you will have one at your fingertips for any one that you meet.
The system of picturing a friend of yours whose first name is the same as the person whom you want to remember, might work just as well for you. If you meet a Mr. John Sitrous, you could use the substitute word "citrus" to associate to an outstanding feature; then put your friend, John, into the picture somehow, (in a ridiculous way) and you'll remember that Mr. Sitrous' first name is John.
Again, it is not for me to tell you which idea to use, you may use one or both, as the circumstances demand. This is entirely up to you. If you find that you can remember first names with one system better than with the other, then by all means, use the one that helps you most.
If at first, you have a bit of trouble remembering the first names, don't let it bother you; just use the second name. Keep at it for a while and you'll soon be able to remember first names just as well as you do second names, and vice versa. You won't insult anyone by remembering only his or her last name. Benjamin Disraeli had an out even if he forgot both names; he once said, "When I meet a man whose name I cannot remember, I give myself two minutes, then if it is a hopeless case, I always say, 'And how is the old complaint?'" Since most of us have some sort of old complaint or other, Disraeli probably flattered everyone he used this on, making them believe that he remembered them quite well. However, no need for subterfuge; use my systems and you will remember names and faces.
More important, I think, than remembering first names, is to be able to remember pertinent facts about the people you meet. This holds true for business and social life. Businesswise, particularly, since it is often helpful to remember what items or style numbers you sold to a certain customer, or, if you're a doctor, to remember patients' symptoms and ailments, etc. It is also very flattering to meet a person whom you haven't seen in some time and have him ask about things that are close to you, but would ordinarily have no interest to him. This will not only make people like you (people always like you if you show an interest in their interests) but can be quite an asset in business.
The method is the same as for remembering first names. Just put the thing into your original association when you're memorizing the name and face. If I met a Mr. Beller, whom I wanted to impress, and I knew he was an avid stamp collector—I might associate "bell" to an outstanding feature on his face, and then associate stamps to that bell.
Some of you may feel that this might confuse you into thinking that the man's name is Bellstamp; but again, true memory tells you the difference. You'll know that the name is Beller (to make sure, you could use bell-law in the original association) and you'll be able to flatter him by asking, or talking, about his stamp collection.
During my own performances, I will usually meet doctors, judges, commissioners, mayors, and many people with titles other than "Mister." It is essential for me to address them correctly, because even though I remember their names, people with titles may be insulted if I do not use that title, or if I forget it. The same idea applies; I simply put something into my original association which will remind me of the title. Anything will do; the first object that comes to mind when you hear the title is usually best. I always picture a stethoscope to remind me of "doctor," because that's the first thing with which I associate a doctor. Of course, scalpel, hypodermic, operating table, or anything like that, would suffice.
When I meet a judge, I always put a gavel into my mental picture. This is enough to remind me to address this person as "judge." You might like to picture the judicial robe; that's just as good. Years ago, I recall seeing a picture of New York's mayor Jimmy Walker, wearing a top hat. For some reason, this picture has always stuck with me. Now, whenever I am introduced to a mayor of a town at an affair, I make sure to get a top hat into my association.
I have done quite a few performances for servicemen, and I have had to prepare a substitute word beforehand to remind me as to whether the person was a sergeant, corporal, lieutenant, captain, major, or what have you. As I met each man, I would put this substitute word into my association of name to face, and I did address each man correctly.
So you see that any word can be put into your associations to remind you of things pertaining to the person, as well as his or her name. I have mentioned time and again, the fact that you must use these ideas in order for them to work for you. I do this only because it is important enough to warrant repetition. If you maintain the attitude that nothing can help your terrible memory, then nothing will, because you won't let it. Take a positive view of it all; try these ideas, and you'll be pleasantly surprised. If you've read up to here in this book, and tried all the ideas and systems up to now, I'm sure you've already been convinced.
I've also told you that all these ideas and methods are merely aids to your true memory. If you didn't have the
capacity to remember to begin with, you wouldn't remember, no matter how many systems you used; nor could you remember the systems. If you were to make an extreme effort to remember, you would; there's no question about that. The problem is that we're all too lazy to make that effort. The systems contained in this book, simply make it easier for you to make the effort. In order to make your associations, you must pay attention to the thing you want to remember; the rest is easy.
It would take far too much time and space for me to tell you how helpful my trained memory has been to me, aside from my public appearances. Of course, people will sometimes carry things to an extreme. I meet and remember approximately one to three or four thousand people every week, sometimes more. It would be a little silly for me to try to retain all those names and faces. But, I never know when I'll be stopped on the street, or in a movie, or while driving my car, or in some small town that I may have played two or three years ago—and have someone demand, "What's my name?"
These people expect me to remember them although I met them with three or four hundred other people, at the time. The amazing part is that in 20% to 30% of the time, my original associations, made, perhaps years ago, will come back to me after thinking for a few moments. Then I do know the person's name. In your case, this is no problem because I'm sure that very few of you have to meet and remember anywhere near three or four hundred thousand people a year.
I think that this book probably would never have been published if it weren't for the fact that I remembered one person's name. I had spoken to Mr. Fell, the publisher, about the book the first time I met him. He said he would think about it, and that was that. About five months later.
after meeting many thousands of people, I happened to be performing for an all male group at a charity breakfast. A gentleman approached me and asked if I remembered him. After a moment's thought, I realized it was Mr. Fell, who happened to have heard that I was appearing there, and came down to test me. I told him his name; and weeks later he all but confessed that if I hadn't remembered him, he wouldn't have been half as enthused about the book as he was now. You see, he naturally wanted to be sure that my systems really worked.
This is only one instance where remembering one person's name was important to me. Remembering the right person's name at the proper time, may perhaps mean a great deal to you, sometime in the future. It might be the stepping stone to a better job, a bigger opportunity or a much better sales contract, etc. So, try these systems, use them, and I believe you'll be well paid for your efforts.