CHAPTER TWO
FINDING OUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FROM LIFE
Before you can desire more, it means you have something on hand already that you think you really want more of. For many, desiring more may be a huge challenge as they may find it difficult to make a choice of what they really want more of. Our human mind is so gifted with multiple need and desires. We may want a limousine and desire the comfort of the jet at the same time. The brain’s complexity often clouds our minds and we find ourselves going gaga.
Life has a way of getting at us. It is like a buffet where there are mouthwatering meals and you are fraught with selecting the best meal. The huge temptation is to have a bit of every meal all in one dish. You may manage to have all the delicacies in one dish but you will lose the individual taste of each dish.
Life has so much to offer but we can’t have everything. We have a choice to select which of its offerings best suits our need and then we can go ahead and get it.
Most persons do not know how to describe what they really want. If you go ask the average person what they want from life, they’d tell they just want to be happy, joyful and peaceful. Everyone wants to be happy, joyful and peaceful. These are vague wants. Our wants have to be specific else it is bound to fail.
The seemingly huge task of knowing what you really want is so easy a task once the guiding principle for defining what you really want out of life is defined
You will have to
- Know what you really want. Having a clear cut definition of your life goal is a stepping stone. It’s not about being just happy, everybody wants to be happy. Happiness is only a benefit accruable. What you really want should make you happy and joyful. Have definite goal like; I want to be a renowned author in the children genre. It’s easily defined and you could have a clear cut direction to follow and you will find fulfillment and happiness in the end.
- Define what to do to have it. Once you know what you really want, this will help you define what to do to have it. You will have to undertake training in that area and the best training available. You will have to understudy people who have had success doing what you intend to do. My example of being a renowned author in the children genre is very handy here. You will have to study the really successful top notch children writers, see what they do, replicate and develop your own ideas. You know you will have to stay put till you make the breakthrough.
- Define how you want to feel when you have it. You want to be happy, joyful, and ecstatic? You want to feel good about yourself? You want to have an aura that influences others? It pays to define your expected feelings
The facts that you are having a challenge defining what you really want does not mean you are the only one suffering from this. Millions and perhaps billions are faced with the same dilemma regardless of age. An 18 year old faces the same challenge as a 50 year old.
It’s time for you to take a break from this life wandering aimlessly into a more purposeful life.
You can start from here
- Develop a selfish mane. Defining your future from here means you will have to quit people round you and focus on developing you. You can’t afford to keep developing others at your expense. You will have to return to your shell, grab as much as you can underneath the shell. Yes you may feel this bad about yourself because society has placed this stress on selfishness as bad. Well, just remember that it’s ok to put yourself first, because if you don’t, no one will.
- Stand for your decisions. The challenge may arise when people observe your selfishness. They may say “well that guy is selfish” and they may make you feel so bad. But know you just have to do these for yourself. Defend yourself and stand up to your rights to have some self-benefits.
- Figure out what you need. You really need critical assessment of what you need. Is it love? Is it financial security? Whatever they are, list them in their order or priorities
- Push away things that negatively affect you. There are some things that you know right within you that are impediments. It could be an action, or certain persons. You have to find a way to offload them. You will require strict determination to carry this out.
- Activate the things that make you happy. All you need in life is happiness. If you are unhappy, you are unfulfilled. Take a few moments and think about the things that make you happy. Is it writing, dancing, reading, drawing etc.? It is in what you find happiness in that you will find fulfillment doing.
- Let people around you know what you are about to achieve. Voicing out your desired achievement or what you intend to do may provide you with support and idea. It won’t hurt if they know why you are being selfish at the moment.
- Keep a positive front. Achieving something serious requires some degree of persistence. You may face difficult scenarios, mountains to climb and perhaps very deep valleys. Remain positive and get going. Don’t feel dismay if your plans don’t go as planned. It has to happen that way any way to help you keep a focused front.
In summary, you must find out what you really want from life. It is the starting point of ever living the much more life
A friend of mine walked up to me fraught with confusion. He had no idea what he really wanted though he knew he had to get his direction stated. He found himself studying a course at the university that just didn’t suit him. He asked me for advice. I knew he had strengths that were peculiarly his which he undermined. There was something he loved doing that gave him so much joy. He found joy singing. This gave him more joy than his academics so I advised him to take to his gifting.
We should not hope to get everything in life. We can and should get the things that give us so much joy and happiness.
