Stop Throwing Your Time Away
The average person has between 32 and 48 thoughts per minute, according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California and the National Science Foundation. That can add up to a total of 70,000 thoughts per day! Several studies have also shown that 80 percent of those thoughts are negative, and 90 percent of which are similar to the ones you had the day before!
The only way to overcome thoughts is with feelings. Thoughts are no match for feelings! But everyday we try to talk ourselves up, down, in and out of emotions.Once again we have a pattern of behavior steeped in habit born out of ignorance. If we were to add up the amount of time we waste trying to control our emotions in a given week it would equate to hours. The amount would differ among each person, with women wasting even more than men, but regardless, even if we went with the lowest estimate of only three hours (although estimates are higher), think about what you could do with three wonderful hours just for you. And for those of you reacting with even more stress, what could you do with 4 or 6 hours a week just for you? There are so many new activities or practices you could engage in to bring lasting health and happiness.
Feelings are to thoughts what water is to a flame. We can’t talk our way out of emotional pain; we have to feel our way out. You can’t be happy. Happy is not something you become. You have to feel happy. Until you learn how to feel happiness all around you, the majority of those negative seventy thousand thoughts per day will win out. If you were to try—and millions do every day—to just change your thoughts, how effective would you be even if you managed to fit in just 10,000 positive thoughts among, say, 50,000?
Saying you want to be happy is like saying you want to be rich. To accomplish either one takes understanding and learning beyond what you can figure out from reading books or magazines. You won’t become rich just by avoiding financial losses; you have to actually make money at some point. Similarly, you will never become happy just by protecting those five areas of loss. You have to accumulate feelings of happiness. The first step toward feeling better is to teach your mind to begin focusing on all the good facts around you, exactly the way it has been focusing on the negative. Until you understand some concepts, your reality is distorted, meaning two things: You think you do see all the good and it pales in comparison to your problems, or you don’t think you have much good around you. Trust me, both are wrong.
Thus far, your brain is programmed to overlook most good things, except those that relate to preserving your life, so that is the first thing we are going to change. This may seem trite or silly. Most people think they are aware of all the good around them. We count our blessings, as they say. However, acknowledging that something is good is very different from learning to feel it on an emotional level.
You can’t talk your way into a good mood; you must feel your way. You will learn to deliberately seek and hold onto the positive things around you, allowing these observations to become amazing feelings that sink into your whole being.
Quick even by today’s standards, all it takes is waiting 10 to 20 seconds for a positive feeling to sink in. Then, like magic, your brain will release all of your feel-good brain chemicals completely altering your mood for the better. You do this now all day long by ruminating on mere potential problems and then feeling like your life is a potential powder keg. Why? Because reality and fiction are irrelevant to the brain; it can’t tell the difference— which is why you get upset way before stuff actually happens.
Take twenty seconds right now to envision a person or pet showering you with love; Yes, that means you. Imagine the sounds, the feel of their arms around you, the words they are saying, or in the case of a pet, imagine the feel of their fur and the look in their eyes. Bring to mind how unconditional their love is. Now put this down and really feel their love filling you. ……Did you feel the emotional lift? Did you see how your brain responded as quickly as it does when you are just thinking about upsetting events? Now imagine carrying that feeling around most of the day. Can you picture how different you would feel if you did this regularly? Well, I will teach you how to train your brain to do this instinctively all day long.
Harnessing the power of your imagination will change your life. It is one of the tools you will use throughout Wired To Worry to rewire your brain to create long-term feelings of wellbeing. If it seems silly to use your imagination or to waste ten seconds waiting to have a good feeling about something, consider this: Most of us cherish the thousands of hours we spend watching movies and TV shows just so we can feel a whole host of emotions. We love our emotions, and we seem to like them even more when we can feel them without having to go through the actual trials that the actors portray. Right now you are allowing emotions to come and go as they wish, all day long, giving them no direction, but now you will learn the skill to move them in the direction you want them to go so you can start feeling happy in any moment you want.
The Power of Your Brain to Change Your Mind
Does it sound incredible to be told you can “rewire” your brain? Well, the reason behind this is due to something called neuroplasticity. In 1996, neuroplasticity was finally proven. This monumental breakthrough meant that the long standing belief that the human brain did not change after adolescence was all wrong. Neuroplasticity meant that the brain is not static and can change daily and even moment to moment according to what we are doing or learning. Brain areas can switch jobs, grow new cells, and even enlarge, depending on how much we use them. This discovery is the foundation of all hope regarding the brain’s ability to repair damaged areas and improve itself. Now neuroscientists understand that every time we learn something new or even practice a skill repeatedly, the brain changes accordingly. Someone who has played piano or a stringed instrument will have a larger volume of area in their brain dedicated to finger movement than the average person will have. This is neuroplasticity. On a grander scale, this process occurs in the brain of a blind person whose hearing develops way beyond what the normal range would be. Neuroplasticity is the light at the end of the tunnel in your search for happiness and wellbeing. It is how you will redirect your brain’s attention toward a truly positive perspective and away from its normal diet of doom and gloom. This change in focus will completely alter your emotional landscape to one of peace, contentment, and security. As you learn to see and think differently, your brain will rewire itself, causing your perception and various beliefs to change as well. Changing your brain's focus is similar to deciding to buy a specific car, then seeing that car everywhere. There isn’t suddenly more of that car, but rather your brain now searches for them since you have a new interest in them. Much of this work takes place in the back of your mind, so you will not have to give up anymore of your precious time than just a few minutes a day.
As I am sure you understand, old technology always takes more time and more energy than the newer version, and it's the same with this old program of ours. It triggers the amygdala and sends constant distress signals (SOS) at the slightest provocation to rob us of our peace and happiness. When that happens, we allow our overreaction and stress to suck the energy right out of our very soul.
All of this happens on an underlying level involving our chemical states. We human beings are just like addicts, making decisions from one moment to the next based on 2 questions: What will give me the greatest amount of pleasure right now or the least amount of discomfort? Every situation—physical, emotional, or social—is fueled, directed, and regulated by the drug effect we are seeking from the brain’s own chemical pharmacy, and this pharmacy is open twenty-four hours a day! The timely release of the “feel good” chemicals in the brain underpins a healthy emotional balance.
In Wired To Worry you will learn how to use this understanding to cut negative chemical signals off at the pass, restoring you to a sense of wellbeing. You will also, for the first time, be able to really know what is triggering your moods, anger, frustration, and fears. You waste valuable time every day trying to figure this stuff out from a psychological standpoint, but everything will be clear when you realize what brain chemicals you are chasing.
You will learn three new names, and if you can understand the difference between octane levels at the gas pump, you can understand these. Consider these brain chemicals like a light switch in a room. Different rooms control different moods. When you feel a certain way, you will be able to walk down the hall and see which light went out (brain chemical) in what room—and then you will know what to do to get it turned back on. This is where you will really start to gain control.
The first time you heard the term endorphins was likely back in the ’80s. Endorphins are a brain neurotransmitter (just a big word for the way your brain sends and receives messages). This particular brain chemical is responsible for the natural high that runners can experience. But it is also associated with drugs such as heroin or morphine. Everyone was abuzz back then about how it was the reason cigarettes were so hard to quit. “Cigarettes are like morphine to your brain,” people were saying.
There are many of these chemical messengers, but in my book Wired to Worry you are going to learn about the three that drive almost every decision you make! Dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. They are the “WHY” behind all of your behaviors, the drive behind what you call instincts and base desires. I refer to them as DOS. In the book, there are pages of examples of each chemical and what the corresponding behavior would be to increase it or decrease it. These lists are invaluable, as I have never seen anything like these in print anywhere. They will give you insight into your drives, instincts, behaviors, moods, and emotions, as well as of those around you.
These brain chemicals are how messages are sent and received in your brain. When your brain learns that donuts can put a smile on your face or a banana split can make you feel almost euphoric, it builds networks to reinforce these behaviors so that you never forget them. Therefore you will learn to make use of the rule that what fires together, wires together. You will use new good and powerful experiences to alter your mood, emotions, and even your feelings about past events.