This section explores these four questions to help me decide if TCO is “write” for me:

1. Do I often feel that I am not enough?
2. Do I doubt being able to fulfill my potential?
3. Do I wish for practical solutions to recurring problems?
4. Would I like to stop the forced labor, and just be?

The information which you are about to discover may or may not be your cup of tea. Its nature is so controversial, and its writing, so different from traditional forms of writing, that it is likely to disturb your emotional body. Moreover, it dares reclaiming the vocabulary of the soul, using words as dicey as “God,” “law,” “sin,” and “sex.” And here is why this may be desirable... To break the seals keeping you from giving it all and vibrating with unconditional love, TCO must hone in on the part of you that resists the healing you most want and need. In that sense, the medium is the “massage,” touching you where it hurts in order to dispel the trauma. As such, this book is more than a creative study. It is at once a revelation and a deduction. As a revelation, the awe it provokes may send you into the limbo of overwhelm, confusion, sleepiness, irritability, the desire to quit, and even the sense of being coerced. The same awe will also be enough of a surprise to give you another way to look at “it.” As a deduction, it invites you to experience its hypothesis, by being at once, the scientist, the lab and the guinea pig.

TCO’s hypothesis itself speaks of awesomeness. It proposes that the Hebrew symbols are non-biological sentient animals. They work in polarity and go by pairs in order to convey a subjective experience such as surrender so that it can be objectively remembered.

You already have all the answers. We all do. However, the fact that there’s nothing to learn does not deny that teaching may be possible and, at times, necessary. This is especially true when the signs trace a path by which to have a perfect recall of the impression of just being. Being is the ultimate way to live in the world. Of all the “God” Names, none is so well put as the “ineffable name” whose four Hebrew letters simultaneously mean “I Am,” “I Was,” “I Will Be.” The absolute being is reality. It transcends time. It is the Self, “God;” ever-present, all-pervading. Knowing the Self, “God” is known. In fact, “God” may just be no other than the I Am. This idea also appears in the letters of “I AM is the AIM” – I rest while working.

Before deciding to engage, please consider these four questions:

1. Do you often feel that you are not enough or that you can’t get any real satisfaction?
2. Do you doubt being able to fulfill your potential and manifest your heart’s desire?
3. Do you wish for practical solutions to problems that seem to be on auto-play?
4. Would you like to stop the forced labor and just be?

1. When the soul fears to be “not enough,” I am called to satiate the hunger for Love. Because this work endeavors to offer the reality of a global solution, the voice of this writing takes the perspective of an “I’ in order to give “you” the space to decide when you are ready to enter a “we” space and find that there is only One story of pain. Mi cuenta es tu cuenta; “my story is your story.” Just like you, I have known loneliness, sadness, shame and anger… Just like you, I bleed when pricked!

Years followed years, books followed books, before the door of TCO opened. Meanwhile, if eating is a fitting metaphor for the acquisition of wisdom (and by extension, of wholesome Power), I am now looking at a feast. The abundance of TCO’s courses and its nutrient-density can be overwhelming! And yet, even if this luxurious buffet could satiate the hunger for Love and thus restore the sense of enough, I still have to wait to be hungry enough to deliberately sit at the TCO table, eat, chew on and savor its delights. If not, my stomach may find the delicacies a bit hard to digest…

More than ever before, I am hungry for the sacred – for something greater than the little self. While having the sense of being lost, I need directions. Might I be like a child, misbehaving so as to be given a sense of discipline? I am not conscious to be calling for the law – the Law with a big “L,” and also not conscious that finding a sure path involves going deep. This is how I shall begin by asking me to overlook the foolishness it will take to dare entering such profound waters, and to simply recognize the sincere desire to love reality, that is, to know “God.” Indeed, I must now accept that, for me to heal, the ego has to be completely nullified. Transcending destiny (the personal) is the only way to stop being a victim of my biology. This is also no less than enlightenment.

So, yes, it takes great audacity to interfere with things of which I have no conscious knowledge, but also great zeal to discover a novel interpretation that could allow me to receive the “shoulds” as my recipe for happiness, given to ensure the well-being of body and soul. Henceforth, the unimaginable will occur… The reluctant prophet in me will stop making the law a coercive device to repress what I can’t accept, and instead take great pleasure in following it. And I will call that Love, and feel it as a huge big LOVE!

For now, it seems that, even if the elders have said that “the Law speaks in the language of men,” I have closed my ears to it. Yes, the voice of my intuition speaks in sounds, images or words. It gives me my orders; moment by moment. Yes, it can be disturbing to think of myself as a soldier, especially when my ego wants to be the general! And right there, am I not singing Lucifer’s song – an angel who fell from grace after he rebelled against the rule of God? Devilish? Indeed! Archetypal? You bet!

So, why can’t we obey (a big word) when the results are so dismal? Do we think that we are above the law? Is pride and/or a lack of humility how we would ignore that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” and repeatedly cause consequences we would rather not have to experience?

Ah… What will it take for me to die to my sins? Indeed (and in misdeed), we appear to be in dire need of a code of opposites by which to cool down Fire-Power when it leads us to hell!

2. When the mind is prey to self-doubt, I am called to join reason and faith – a very sexy proposition as it is playing my part in marrying science and religion. As a student of this material, I will have to confront four problems. These places where I lack coherence are the four “reasons” why I experience a crisis of “faith.” On that note, do I imagine that I’d instantly become a rationalist, thinking as clearly as a Descartes or a Spinoza, by merely disentangling myself from the Biblical matrix? Logically speaking, is that even possible when the collective unconscious is immersed in such matrix? While the Bible appears to be the most prejudiced book of all, I can't deny its influence. So, what’s the truth? Do I trust myself to sustainably make sound judgments? Am I able to deliberately place my attention on plenty rather than lack? Faith, should I wonder, is a numbers game, as it is the amount of certainty in which I hold a belief. When I totally (100%) believe and/or when I have zero (0) doubt that I already received what I prayed for, it is factually mine. Reasonably, if my work with TCO were to lead me to embody such entirety, I would know that there is a universal code to hearing and seeing the soul of perennial truths. So, let’s look at the reasons I may hold for not engaging…

The first reason is difficulty. It fuels the first faith issue which is impostorship. TCO’s subject matter itself is undeniably difficult, subtle and profound. Indeed, “whence then comes wisdom? And where is the place of understanding?” Job 28:20. Diving deep into the waters of the unconscious is how to harvest pearls of such great beauty that I’d be forever transformed. But there’s the very real risk that I would drown. Moreover, I believe my intelligence to be insufficient. My problem is to think that I am not enough – an impostor! Moreover, I have the deeply embedded sense that I don’t have the right nor the talent to seek self-knowledge and find it. My engagement is sporadic as I doubt that I will ever transcend my self-imposed limitations. Ultimately, I fear that, sooner or later, I will be exposed as a fraud, and that my work will be disqualified as the product of an incompetent mind. Ouch!

The second reason is incoherence. It fuels the second faith issue which is disenchantment. Coherence is having my heart and my mind in perfect alignment. Therefore, ethical conduct is the foundation of intellectual progress. The measure in which my intentions are pure, calm and steadfast is the measure to where I have a sane mind resonating with intellectual perfection. My conceptions are correct, and my judgments, sound. “His secret is with the awakened one” Proverbs 3:32. I am willing for my heart to be shattered in order to know that the heart is “unhurt.” I will then face the disenchantment, the sadness and even the anger that my take on the promise of happily ever after may never be fulfilled. I will detach from outcomes and understand that I have zero guarantee, even if I do all the hard work of inquiring on the beliefs that keep me from being empowered. At last, I will live without a why, having surrendered the desire that my efforts would be rewarded with the golden revelation of certainty, and my craving for security, fulfilled by absolute truths.

The third reason is exhaustion. It fuels the third faith issue of regression. While desiring to reach my goal, I may find that doing what it takes is too tiring and/or troublesome. Yes, I want to see what the heavens are, their numbers and their forms; what angelic beings abide there; how the creation of the whole world took place; what is the purpose and nature of the soul; how it enters the body, if there is life after death, etc., etc., etc., but, there’s a “but!” I have no patience, and wish to have a dramatic paradigm shift in my evolution NOW. Moreover, I can’t feel the kindness of regression, the goodness of failure, or the usefulness of a seesaw pattern of one step forward, two steps backwards. And although I do admit to an increased ability in widening my perspective and tolerating conflict, I find the meandering motion to be draining. This is especially true when in the midst of a regression, as I start believing that I will never reach the goal, and never wake up.

The fourth reason is no solvency. It fuels the fourth faith issue which is tribal suicide. I am disturbed in my intellectual and emotional pursuit by the necessity of putting food on the table, and looking after the material wants of the body. This is how I fear to commit to what I associate to tribal suicide. I am concerned that probing conventional assumptions and asking big questions as I endeavor to know who I am will cut me off from the society that defines and sustains me. I fear peer rejection and dread the hostility borne of ignorance. I imagine that, since my family does not wish to go on a similar journey of self-discovery, they’ll judge I’ve grown too big for my britches. My work will only serve to do harm by making me a pariah who betrayed the tribe, losing friends and prospects in the process. And should that be the case, with whom would I engage in commerce? How then will I pay the bills?

Do I recognize myself in any of these “reasons” and/or “faith” crises?

3. When the body asks for a practical solution, I am called to make sense of the letters of the Law. TCO reveals how the letters of the Law are patterned as a metalanguage; a language beyond languages. Like music or mathematics, this language is deemed to be neutral and comprehensive. As such, it belongs to no clan, but to life itself. Its signs go beyond the physical senses to establish a connection to the voice of conscience. This is how “grokking” the letters of the Law allows me to increasingly receive the spirit of the Law, and thus, stop doing harm.

But how could it be that the entire wisdom teaching of the Bible would be distilled in the 22/27 hieroglyphs (or “sacred signs”) of a simple alphabet? So, let’s make it simple: when I am not at peace, there is something I do not understand. I’m in my head, and not in my body. This indicates that I’ve turned off sentience – the capacity to feel and sense. Sentience is how that which understands has an understanding of “God” and, by extension, of Nature’s laws. The “Law, Teaching, Way, Song of Love” are the meanings of the Hebrew word Torah – the original version of the Five Books of Moses. If I were to think of Torah as a strawberry, I could be told about its taste forever, and still have no knowledge of its particular sweetness. To know it, I must bite into it. For me to experience how opening the letters’ many secrets gives me the Power to change my ways, I must taste the Torah’s letters, and walk this ancient futuristic path. It leads me to the end of my communication issues, but also and foremost of my Power issues, as I stop rebelling against my own “good” (or my own “God”).

Here is a bite to chew on… The law is only a false construct when I use it to establish my Power over you. Rather than being premised on control, the Law is Love. It is here to liberate me from myself. However, I won’t feel it as the gift of pure grace that it is unless I come to love you, my neighbor, as myself. Until then, I’ll sound preachy while invoking the law. I’ll speak in the wrong tone of voice, and appear as a sanctimonious authority, unable to sense that, in the space when I am shaking a finger at you, I am misusing Power. Would it help me to realize that the Hebrew word for “neighbor” is also the word for “evil?” These are, indeed, the letters of the Law, as spelled out in Leviticus 18:19. If I could love the “wicked” side of me, I would be the change I wish to see in you. I’d have no need to change you, teach you or save you. I would simply love you!

Yes, but! How do I surrender my judgments and come to the treasured understanding that there’s only One of us? Hear! Hear! According to Rabbi Akiba, the divine language of the Torah is distinguished from human speech by the fact that it has no word or sound that are superfluous. Henceforth, having the codes opens the Golden Mean or the moderate position between two extremes, one of excess and the other of deficiency. It thus puts an end to the question “why is there evil in the world?” By realizing that there is not one iota that is redundant, I begin to find meaning, come into balance and stop the senselessness. My 3rd eye opens for me to see the good in evil. And as I understand the why of my limiting beliefs, they spontaneously auto-destruct.

So, if I inhabit a field of intelligence that has qualities, what is the supreme quality, if not understanding, since understanding leads to peace? How? Understanding is the “wife” of wisdom and the “mother” of kindness, as it is how to know good and evil. It inspires the willingness to emulate what I find admirable in the world. As such, it stretches me to seeing “God” – or that which no greater can be imagined. By bringing me down to earth (and down to my knees), it repairs the broken compass of my instincts. I can now sense what I must prioritize, and relate to the excellence I am now called to pursue. Far from religiosity, understanding is the white space “in-between” the words, half into the dream and half into articulated knowledge – a knowledge that is biblical, embodied and shamelessly sexual. Yes, the codes that activate sense and sensibility kindly waits for me to make the decision to feel them.

Henceforth, my intention in this work is purely practical. It is to allow an awareness of the Self to resolve my conflicts with family, food, sex and money; to just name these four. And if, on the way to being authentic in my relating (“the Word made flesh”), I was asked to become a philosopher and embrace the theoretical side of spirituality, then so be it! I might even realize that my intellectualism is only sterile in the measure where I am full of BS – of “Belief Systems.” :-)

The smokescreen of my lies is actually quite precious, since the places in the decoding where I go into limbo exactly reflect where my secrets are at work. As above, so below: when I don’t understand cosmic secrets, it may just be because I have too many personal secrets in the space. Exposing the latter reveals the former. This is how Jesus would say: “you have eyes but do not see, you have ears but do not hear.” Of course, I’ve turned off my senses along with my conscience, just so that I could break the law! Ignoring how my conscience is the actual source of my intelligence is what leads me to eventually ask: “how could I be that stupid?!”

4. When the heart envisions to rest while working, I am called to end my slave narrative: there is no forced labor; no one “making me!” Loving reality dissolves any sense of push/pull. It stops time, as there is no rush. It is only when I start fighting with “God” that I walk around feeling orphaned, forsaken and disconnected. The truth is that I turned away from Presence, and decided to go into the darkness alone. I forgot what I knew as a child: there is nothing and no one out there, which is how all of my efforts end up feeling like a failure.

My freedom is sourced in espousing choicelessness. This is the step beyond taking full responsibility for what I choose. Consider: when I am no longer interested in creating misery (that is, when I choose Health instead of having my attention on being poor and sick), I begin to sense that there is nothing personal. This understanding is at the foundation of choicelessness. Henceforth, after owning the truth that I am the observer of it all, I come to see that I don’t create what is: it just is! Whether it is youth or old age, success or failure, wealth or poverty, it just is; nothing personal! Everything can now be beautiful, because I am never separate from the whole. I am just a drop in the ocean; a wave that moves with the ocean. Wherever the flow takes me, I go!

I’m in trouble – in hell – when I start thinking of myself as a separate entity. This is when I make it about me, and attach to the illusion that I must make things happen (or that I am powerless to do so)! Adding “hell” to “illusion,” I’ve just written my own “HELLusion!”

I am yet to see that there’s nothing I can do to manifest my heart’s desire, but equally, that my heart’s desire will never manifest unless I do everything for it! Meanwhile, I just need to trust that all is well. The philosopher will ask about prime cause and question the laws of motion to try to assess whether there is a “God” who created the universe. Was there a big bang, a gradual coming into being or was everything already here, created? The mystic has no need to theorize about the physical nature of the universe, or to believe in the concept of “God” and argue for his, her, its, their validity (or invalidity). It is sufficient to sense the harmony in existence. Rather than an intellectual concept, it is a felt sense that pervades everything.

Once I receive my Ph.D. in mysticism, I find the paradise I once lost, and rest while working. This quality of relaxation is a letting go. It is sudden, surprising, and ultimately peaceful. There is no stress as I no longer have any private goals to defend. I resist nothing. God’s desire is my desire. God’s will is my will. God’s destiny is my destiny. From that standpoint, there is no more guilt for not having done what I “should” have done. The Law is my friend. Once the thought of unrequited love leaves me, there is no need for failure or humiliation. There’s just me, and the Word that was “God” and with “God.” This Word is the Tao and the Torah, as “the Law, the Way, the Teaching, the Song of Love” that permeates the whole of existence.

It’s just that this existence now includes me. Yep, I had the courage to continue knocking on the door of “God’s” house – the House of Belonging – until it opened.