Chapter 2: Decide On What You Want in A Person
If considering your future, what comes to your mind first? Do you envisage it clearly? We all wish to meet a soul mate and to have a family and a few of us spend a lot of years of our lives looking for the right individual.
So who is this right individual? Our perfect match? First off it's crucial to clarify the image of the individual you wish to become your mate.
We all understand that no one is perfect, so it's impossible to find a perfect individual though it may be possible to find someone who's perfect for YOU! However, in order to do so, you have to understand for yourself what are the qualities you're looking for and which qualities your perfect mate ought to possess.
The Qualities You Want
Here is a list of a few the most crucial criteria that you may wish to consider while picking out your perfect match.
Personality
Would you be happy with somebody quiet and shy or chatty and sociable; intense and logical or easygoing and mellow? Are you attracted to individuals who are serious or amusing? Would you like somebody who's independent and strong or somebody who lets you arrive at a decision? Would you prefer somebody gentle or somebody who always says what he feels?
Intelligence
No one wants to end up with somebody who's below them in IQ but you'd likely not want to end up with a genius either. Recent studies demonstrate that couples do best when they're matched with somebody similar – whether they're both genius, average or below average. Simply bear in mind that individuals possess not only different degree of intelligence but different sorts as well. So a few individuals have incredible memory for fact while other people have a high aptitude for languages.
Appearance
While it would be too foolish to base your feeling heavily on the appearance your individual druthers ought to be considered when defining an image of your perfect match. Beauty is really relative notion and what you think about beautiful and attractive may not be so by common views. So you ought to rely solely on your own preferences and determine a look you'll be pleased with.
Character
May you live with somebody who lies to you, cheats on you, who's absolutely unreliable? How crucial is it for you that your mate never steals, lies or acts without showing responsibility? These main traits of character as well as a lot of others are something that needs to be considered when picking out a mate.
Religious beliefs
Perhaps not even only faiths but spirituality. Since spirituality refers to inner faith and beliefs that run deep. If you're spiritual on a different level for instance one of you is a believer and the other one in an atheist it may cause a few irreconcilable differences later in the relationship. Likewise, if you belong to different religions that may cause a few issues as well. So this is absolutely something you have to consider when picking out a mate.
Ambition
It’s exceedingly crucial for two partners who plan to build a happy future together to have the same level of ambitiousness otherwise with time none of them will be pleased. It's ok if both partners wish to be carefree as long as they're in agreement. If partners have different levels of interior drive, it may cause conflict and frustration. However, if their level of ambition is similar then it may bond them together as they strive to accomplish their goals.
Chemistry
It’s something unexplainable that makes individuals wish to be together, look into each other’s eyes, fall in love. It's hard to explain how it works but you surely can feel if it's there or not.
Parenting
Is it crucial for you to have babies? If it is then it's imperative for a happy stable relationship that your mate has a like goal and if your views on children’s raising are similar it will surely be really helpful for your relationship.
There are much more general standards in picking out a mate, particularly if you're choosing the individual you wish to spend the rest of your life with and grow old together, and a few criteria may be only your personal ones that are crucial only for you.
So as long as you understand what you want from a relationship and have a clear-cut image of your future mate and the relationship you wish to build you've more chance to pick out the one and only correct individual for you. Relationship and marriage is about love, support and understanding. It ought to bring you pleasure and make you the best individual you are able to be; it ought to be pleasant for both of you and be healthy.
And it depends upon you whether you make the correct choice at the very beginning or pick out a wrong individual to end up with. You don't need to be alike in everything but the more similar traits you have the simpler it will be for you to comprehend one another and to construct a happy relationship. With all this being stated, there's a famous saying “Opposites attract”. They truly do but what the precious differences that attract us so much in one another at the very beginning of the relationship may be the very things that are so hard to live with and do accept on a day by day basis later on.
So it's up to you to decide what you prefer – a passionate but maybe short relationship or a stable and happy one over the years, the relationship where you are able to really grow old together…and live happily ever after.