APRIL 2014 :
I decided for this month to be a month of forgiveness . where I will be practicing, daily, letting go of, and moving on from whatever and whoever hurt me. as I'm looking back at my self now and noticing how I've always used to be hard on myself all the time, too much thinking, too much giving of time and effort and attention to people and situations that make me feel bad . worthless . empty.
I wanted to be good to me .
I wanted to feel of value in myself. and in the world.
I wanted so much for my heart to be healed.
I wanted for my soul, my true self, to be truly free and fulfilled.
I knew that there was nothing outside of me that would ever truly change how I feel about myself, or what I think about myself, deep in my heart I felt isolated and helpless.
At this time I am mostly spending my time in solitude “soul-attitude” connecting to myself more, spiritually, and wholistically. My soul is ready to completely break free, and I am blessed that I am guided by loving teachers, both in flesh and spirit, which helped me to keep moving in the direction of my inner light, my truth, self empowerment and unconditional love. The most heavy and burdensome thing I wanted to clear and forgive was not being able to make the best choices all the time in my life.
Then, I also wanted to forgive people and situations outside of me for not being perfect for me . maybe also say “sorry” and atone for not being perfect enough for them! not being able to accept them. resenting them.
I felt bad cause I was holding these negative conceptions about another being, for some reason, it felt not right! it added more weight to my already heavy load.
So I began…
I felt really excited! I didn’t expect the journey of forgiveness to be interesting, I thought It would be difficult to let go, but I guess my soul was soooo ready to move on. and I wanted to channel this intention and process of forgiveness in a defined form rather than leave it as just another abstract emotion. Forgiveness seemed vague, so I thought if I did that, I will be able to define it. perhaps, I would be able to make sense out of it one day.
This is how I channeled it: Everyday I would design a quotation card that would express what forgiveness kinda looks like to me, through the design and the colors of the card, and intellectualized it through the quote itself.
NOVEMBER 2015 :
Now I am gathering the cards all in here, in this book, for me. to stay on the track of forgiveness, to stay motivated and inspired, and to maybe, one day, make sense of it all!
This book is also for everyone out there who is ready to move on, who wants a reason to forgive, or perhaps needs a motivating companion to help pull them out of the misery of feeling bad. worthless . empty.
I remember that time of my life as a very positive and brave time, despite the fact that I kept recalling negative stuff. I remember asking once before I consciously intended to practice forgiveness: “how can you really help anyone, when you can't even help yourself? ” maybe the magic of asking the right question have lead me to this intention of forgiveness that was very deep, transformative and healing. Now, In retrospect, I see that it’s an act of true self empowerment, the way I see it now, and in the way I have experienced it.
It was a form of emotional intelligence, to be able to dive into the depth of your dark psyche and shine down with the light of divine spiritual universal realization, detached from any personal perspective . to be a fair judge, and a discipliner of your own self. It is just transformative, yet creates a state of equanimity. Somehow turning you from a helpless heart-aching victim into an empowered powerful and empowering person. the process was emotional and heated, but I don't want to ever forget that, I've blogged about it once and now I'm documenting it again into this book. I say “forgive but don't necessarily forget”. cause its beautiful, I believe, to wear your battle scars with pride and confidence, as if they were expensive rare jewels for the world to fancy.
My personal practical application of forgiveness was simple! just hold the intention in your heart and channel it into words and colors and shapes! ! The conclusion of this journey has brought me so much joy and fullness in within myself. and ripple out to create peace and harmony into my life, especially in relationships! I felt so much lighter , freer . a lot of little things in my everyday life felt more meaningful and authentic. and my days seemed to be flowing effortlessly as I learned that negativity is not all so bad, it sure feels the worst when it’s happening, but the quicker you release it, the quicker you’ll start feeling good again, and the deeper your sense of goodness and wellbeing will become restored .
So, here you go:
30 cards, quotes and revelations about forgiveness, Over 30 days
You’ll find that the book is arranged by days.
So, I suggest visiting it daily over 30 days, if you wish for the process of forgiveness to work for you and unfold gracefully into your life.
Allow it to and let it work for you, let it guide you and heal you. .
Then, pass it on.
Always, with great love,
Ogaana