Positive techniques (adaptive or constructive coping)
One positive coping strategy, "anticipating a problem...is known as
proactive coping." Anticipation is when one "reduce[s] the stress of
some difficult challenge by anticipating what it will be like and
preparing for how [one is] going to cope with it".
Two others are "social coping, such as seeking support from others, and
meaning-focused coping, in which the person concentrates on deriving
meaning from the stressful experience".
Keeping fit - "when you are well and healthy, when nutrition, exercise
and sleep are adequate, it is much easier to cope with stress" - and
learning "to lower the level of arousal...by relaxing muscles the message
is received that all is well" are also positive techniques.
Arguably, however, the best of all "the methods people use to cope with
painful situations...is humor! You feel things to the full...but you master
them by turning it all into pleasure and fun!"
While dealing with stress it is important to deal with your physical,
mental, and social well being. One should maintain their health and
learn to relax if they find themselves under stress. Mentally it is
important to think positive thoughts, value oneself, demonstrate good
time management, plan and think ahead, and express emotions. Socially
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one should communicate with people and seek new activities. By
following these simple strategies, one will have an easier time
responding to stresses in their lives.
Negative techniques (maladaptive coping or non-coping)
While adaptive coping methods improve functioning, a maladaptive
coping technique will just reduce symptoms while maintaining and
strengthening the disorder. Maladaptive techniques are more effective
in the short term rather than long term coping process.
Examples of maladaptive behavior strategies include: dissociation,
sensitization, safety behaviors, anxious avoidance, and escape
(including self-medication).
These coping strategies interfere with the person's ability to unlearn, or
break apart, the paired association between the situation and the
associated anxiety symptoms. These are maladaptive strategies as they
serve to maintain the disorder.
Dissociation is the inability of the mind to separate and
compartmentalize thoughts, memories, and emotions. This is often
associated with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
Sensitization is when a person seeks to learn about, rehearse, and/or
anticipate fearful events in a protective effort to prevent these events
from occurring in the first place.
Safety behaviors are demonstrated when individuals with anxiety
disorders come to rely on something, or someone, as a means of coping
with their excessive anxiety.
Anxious avoidance is when a person avoids anxiety provoking
situations by all means. This is the most common strategy.
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Escape is closely related to avoidance. This technique is often
demonstrated by people who experience panic attacks or have phobias.
These people want to flee the situation at the first sign of anxiety.
Further examples of coping strategies include:
emotional or instrumental support
self-distraction
denial
substance use
self-blame
behavioral disengagement
religion
indulgence in drugs or alcohol.
Religious coping has been found to be the most common coping
response, with one study reporting that 17% use religion as a coping
response. Women mentioned religious coping more frequently than did
men.
Many people think that meditation "not only calms our emotions,
but...makes us feel more 'together'", as too can "the kind of prayer in
which you're trying to achieve an inner quietness and peace".
Low-effort syndrome or low-effort coping refers to the coping
responses of minority groups in an attempt to fit into the dominant
culture. For example, minority students at school may learn to put in
only minimal effort as they believe they are being discriminated against
by the dominant culture.
Historical psychoanalytic theories
Otto Fenichel
Otto Fenichel summarized early psychoanalytic studies of coping
mechanisms in children as "a gradual substitution of actions for mere
discharge reactions...[&] the development of the function of judgement"
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- noting however that "behind all active types of mastery of external
and internal tasks, a readiness remains to fall back on passive-receptive
types of mastery."
In adult cases of "acute and more or less 'traumatic' upsetting events in
the life of normal persons", Fenichel stressed that in coping, "in
carrying out a 'work of learning' or 'work of adjustment', [s]he must
acknowledge the new and less comfortable reality and fight tendencies
towards regression, towards the misinterpretation of reality", though
such rational strategies "may be mixed with relative allowances for rest
and for small regressions and compensatory wish fulfillment, which are
recuperative in effect".
Karen Horney
In the 1940s, the German Freudian psychoanalyst Karen Horney
"developed her mature theory in which individuals cope with the
anxiety produced by feeling unsafe, unloved, and undervalued by
disowning their spontaneous feelings and developing elaborate
strategies of defense." She defined four so-called coping strategies to
define interpersonal relations, one describing psychologically healthy
individuals, the others describing neurotic states.
The healthy strategy she termed "Moving with" is that with which
psychologically healthy people develop relationships. It involves
compromise. In order to move with, there must be communication,
agreement, disagreement, compromise, and decisions. The three other
strategies she described - "Moving toward", "Moving against" and
"Moving away" - represented neurotic, unhealthy strategies people
utilize in order to protect themselves.
Horney investigated these patterns of neurotic needs (compulsive
attachments). Everyone needs these things, but the neurotics' need
them more than the normal person. The neurotics' might need these
more because of difficulties within their lives. If the neurotic does not
experience these needs, he or she will experience anxiety.
The ten needs are:
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1.
Affection and approval, the need to please others and be liked
2.
A partner who will take over one's life, based on the idea that love
will solve all of one's problems
3.
Restriction of one's life to narrow borders, to be undemanding,
satisfied with little, inconspicuous; to simplify one's life
4.
Power, for control over others, for a facade of omnipotence, caused
by a desperate desire for strength and dominance
5.
Exploitation of others; to get the better of them
6.
Social recognition or prestige, caused by an abnormal concern for
appearances and popularity
7.
Personal admiration
8.
Personal achievement.
9.
Self-sufficiency and independence
10. Perfection and unassailability, a desire to be perfect and a fear of
being flawed.
In Compliance, also known as "Moving toward" or the "Self-effacing
solution", the individual moves towards those perceived as a threat to
avoid retribution and getting hurt, "making any sacrifice, no matter
how detrimental." The argument is, "If I give in, I won't get hurt." This
means that: if I give everyone I see as a potential threat whatever they
want, I won't be injured (physically or emotionally). This strategy
includes neurotic needs one, two, and three.
In Withdrawal, also known as "Moving away" or the "Resigning
solution", individuals distance themselves from anyone perceived as a
threat to avoid getting hurt - "the 'mouse-hole' attitude...the security of
unobtrusiveness." The argument is, "If I do not let anyone close to me, I
won't get hurt." A neurotic, according to Horney desires to be distant
because of being abused. If they can be the extreme introvert, no one
will ever develop a relationship with them. If there is no one around,
nobody can hurt them. These "moving away" people fight personality,
so they often come across as cold or shallow. This is their strategy. They
emotionally remove themselves from society. Included in this strategy
are neurotic needs three, nine, and ten.
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In Aggression, also known as the "Moving against" or the "Expansive
solution", the individual threatens those perceived as a threat to avoid
getting hurt. Children might react to parental in-differences by
displaying anger or hostility. This strategy includes neurotic needs four,
five, six, seven, and eight.
Hartmann
Heinz Hartmann focused on the adaptive progression of the ego
"through the mastery of new demands and tasks". In his wake, ego
psychology further stressed "the development of the personality and of
'ego-strengths'...adaptation to social realities".
Object relations
Emotional intelligence has stressed the importance of "the capacity to
soothe oneself, to shake off rampant anxiety, gloom, or
irritability....People who are poor in this ability are constantly battling
feelings of distress, while those who excel in it can bounce back far
more quickly from life's setbacks and upsets". From this perspective,
"the art of soothing ourselves is a fundamental life skill; some
psychoanalytic thinkers, such as John Bowlby and D. W. Winnicott see
this as the most essential of all psychic tools."
Object relations theory has examined the childhood development both
of "[i]ndependent coping...capacity for self-soothing", and of "[a]ided
coping. Emotion-focused coping in infancy is often accomplished
through the assistance of an adult."
Gender differences
Gender differences in coping strategies are the ways in which men and
women differ in managing psychological stress. There is evidence that
males often develop stress due to their careers, whereas females often
encounter stress due to issues in interpersonal relationships. Early
studies indicated that "there were gender differences in the sources of
stressors, but gender differences in coping were relatively small after
controlling for the source of stressors"; and more recent work has
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similarly revealed "small differences between women's and men's
coping strategies when studying individuals in similar situations."
In general, such differences as exist indicate that women tend to
employ emotion-focused coping and the "tend-and-befriend" response
to stress, whereas men tend to use problem-focused coping and the
"fight-or-flight" response, perhaps because societal standards
encourage men to be more individualistic, while women are often
expected to be interpersonal. It is however also important to note that
the strictly genetic component of these differences is still debated, and
that gender preferences for coping strategies are the result of social
conditioning and child-rearing: for instance, males are often
encouraged to be independent, while females are expected to comply,
which may influence each gender's choice of coping mechanism.
Maladaptive
Both men and women sometimes employ maladaptive mechanisms,
such as avoidance and self-punishment, to handle daily hassles. Stress
is often a primary factor in models of illness and disease; and research
has shown that people under extreme amounts of stress often exhibit
cognitive deficits, illness, increased levels of depression and anxiety,
lower self-esteem, bad health, and lack of sleep.
However, college students of both genders who employ problem-
solving strategies have better health and increased self-esteem.
Hormones
Hormones also play a part in stress management. Cortisol, a stress
hormone, was found to be elevated in males during stressful situations.
In females, however, cortisol levels were decreased in stressful
situations, and instead, an increase in limbic activity was discovered.
Many researchers believe that these results underlie the reasons why
men administer a fight-or-flight reaction to stress; whereas, females
have a tend-and-befriend reaction. The "fight-or-flight" response
activates the sympathetic nervous system in the form of increased
focus levels, adrenaline, and epinephrine.
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However, the "tend-and-befriend" reaction refers to the tendency of
women to protect their offspring and relatives. Although these two
different reactions are generally associated with their respected
genders, one should not assume that females cannot implement a
"fight-or-flight" behavior or that males cannot implement a "tend-and-
befriend" behavior.
Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coping_%28psychology%29
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3.37 DIAGNOSING
Use this diagnosis checklist and tailor the coaching techniques to match
the coachee’s unique improvement strengths and weaknesses. It is
recommended that you should ask the coachee to complete the
checklist themselves and then discuss the list together.
A diagnosis checklist will enable you to clarify improvement learning
priorities, avoid cop out and, use the techniques in this book as the
foundation for the coaching process. As a result of using this technique
you will be able to improve your awareness of how to best assist your
coachee.
BELOW IS A DIAGNOSIS CHECKLIST TO DETERMINE HELP AND
IMPROVEMENT PRIORITY NEEDS
The purpose of this simple checklist is to enable you to rate the
coachee’s strengths and weaknesses. This checklist is taken from
Dennis Martin’s ebook, "My Future, My Choice".
(http://www.i-choose-self-improvement.com/index.html)
Using it will enable you to match the techniques to the coachee’s
particular needs and priorities.
If you do not like the terms strengths and weaknesses, there is nothing
absolute or judgmental about the terms “strengths and weaknesses”, as
all ratings are relative (to coachee’s potential).
If you prefer, think of strengths as those areas that you see the coachee
doing well or very well and of weaknesses as areas that you believe
they can do better or improve.
This checklist is not exhaustive, or a scientific measurement of
anything, but it will give you a broad picture of how you see the
coachee (or, if completed by the coachee, how they see themselves)
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How to use the self-rating Diagnostic Checklist.
Since completing the checklist will undoubtedly require some time, the
self-rating Diagnosis can be performed by the coachee as a homework
or assignment, and be finetuned after evaluation by the coach.
It is easy to do and involves three steps:
Ask coachee too:
1. consider the questions for each of the techniques (they may want to
write down their thoughts to help them arrive at a self-rating)
2. ask coachee to give themselves a rating from 0 (a major weakness) to
10 (a major strength).
3. once they have completed the self-ratings for all the techniques,
transfer them onto the overall summary sheet.
This is not a test and there are no right or wrong answers, just self
opinions. Raising their self awareness in this way will boost their self
improvement on many levels, including the meaning of their
circumstances, what they are doing and how to make life better
(identified by Viktor Frankl as key elements of motivation and survival
in his amazing book, "Man's Search for Meaning").
Coachees should be honest with themselves in this self diagnosis to
create the best self improvement and change opportunities.
1. Your self-image and self esteem:
* what is the most important statement you can make about yourself?
* how would you describe yourself to another?
* what do you think and feel about yourself?
* how well do you like, respect and value yourself?
Rate yourself from 0 (major weakness) to 10 (major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of your self help self improvement opportunities for change.
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2. How proactive are you?
* how good are you at making things happen rather than just reacting
to things after they have happened?
* how well do you take responsibility and ownership for your
behaviour?
* do you think mainly in terms of possibilities or limitations?
* how easy do you find it to show initiative?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of your self help personal development
opportunities for change.
3. Are you a brilliant learner?
* do you keep a journal or learning log?
* how well do you seek feedback from others about your behaviour?
* how easily do you accept feedback and learn from it?
* do you question things and look for alternative meanings?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of your self help and self improvement opportunities for change.
4. Are you programmed for success?
* are you able to relax at will?
* do you have negative emotional baggage from the past?
* do you deliberately visualise yourself succeeding?
* do you have a lot of fun in everything you do?
* are you often manipulated by others?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of your self help opportunities for change and
personal development.
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5. How do you see your world?
* how do you react when someone disagrees with you?
* do you see it as a problem or an opportunity?
* would you describe yourself as highly judgemental?
* would you describe yourself as tolerant?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of your self help self improvement opportunities for change.
6. are you powerful?
* how good are you at influencing others?
* would you describe yourself as a good role model for others to follow?
* how willingly do you share information with others?
* would you describe yourself as an expert at what you do?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of self help personal development opportunities for
change.
7. Are you a great communicator?
* how good a listener are you?
* do you ask great questions?
* are you good at summarising what others say?
* how good are your communication skills?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of self your help self improvement opportunities for change.
8. Do you handle conflicts well?
* how well do you keep your emotions under control?
* do you have a short fuse?
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* do you run away from disagreement?
* are you good at calming down others?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of your self help and self improvement opportunities
for change.
9. Are you a good persuader?
* do you find it easy to persuade others to your point of view?
* are you easily convinced by others?
* are you easily put off if someone says, “no”?
* do you take things personally (especially, “no”)?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of self help self improvement opportunities for change.
10. Do you set goals for yourself?
* have you written down your key goals?
* do you use your goals to motivate and ensure action?
* have you prioritised your goals?
* do you regularly reset your goals?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of your self help personal development opportunities for change.
11. Are you good at persevering?
* do you give up easily?
* are you good at overcoming barriers?
* are you easily disheartened?
* are you passionate about achieving?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
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Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of your self help self improvement opportunities for
change.
12. Are you good at solving problems & making decisions?
* do you find the same problems keep re-occurring?
* are you good at making changes to solve problems?
* are you good at making decisions?
* do you take effective action?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur from this self diagnosis in
terms of self help self improvement opportunities for change.
13. Are you good at managing change & uncertainty?
* do you find it easy to respond positively to change?
* do you handle ambiguity easily?
* how comfortable are you feeling uncomfortable?
* do you need to have things certain?
Rate yourself from 0 to 10 (major weakness to major strength)
Capture any immediate thoughts that occur to you from this self
diagnosis in terms of your self help personal development
opportunities for change.
After having taken a look in the mirror and having evaluated their
personal strengths and weaknesses, coachees should proceed to the