Personal Coaching Techniques by Dean Amory - HTML preview

support by giving away parts of the solution (Winnips, 1998, p.

35). But always this support is faded, so that the learner will

become self-reliant.

In the table below, the three concepts are compared to each

other.

Modeling

Coaching

Scaffolding

Support to

To present a help the

desired

Giving support in

performance

behaviour or

order to help the

of a task. It is

Definition

process so

performance of a

aimed at

that it can be

task, whereby this

improving the

imitated by

support is faded.

performance

the learner. of the learner.

An expert

Students

Students design a

designer

design a

product, an expert

thinking

product, an

designer monitors

aloud during expert

their progress,

Example

the design of designer

solves problems

a product,

monitors their together with the

thereby

progress,

students, motivates

pointing out solves

students, and

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critical

problems

points them

aspects and together with towards different

important

the students, directions, during

decisions

motivates

the process of

during

students, and designing students

design.

points them take over the

Afterwards towards

responsibility, and

students try different

are left to

to imitate

directions.

themselves by the

this

expert.

behaviour.

A sequence in a

studybook

describing

concepts at an

increasingly higher

level of

understanding,

aimed at keeping

the level of

difficulty equal

during learning

Counter-

-

-

(such as a simple-

example

to-complex

sequence).

Scaffolding is

interactive. This

means that fading

reacts to the level

of an individual

student or group of

students, and that

it is tailored to

their current level

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of understanding.

So, the sequence of

events in

scaffolding can not

be described

beforehand.

Modeling focusses on imitation of the performance of an expert,

coaching focusses on the performance of the learner (Jonassen,

1998). Scaffolding can use these two and adds the aspect of

fading. The support that is given by modeling performance, the

support that is given by coaching, or other types of support given

are faded so that the learner becomes self-reliant.

Modeling

NLP Modeling is the process of recreating excellence. We can

model any human behavior by mastering the beliefs, the

physiology and the specific thought processes (that is the

strategies) that underlie the skill or behavior.

It is about achieving an outcome by studying how someone else

goes about it.

When Richard Bandler and John Grinder modeled the strategies

of Virginia Satir, they were trying to achieve what many others

before them had attempted. They wanted to duplicate her

extraordinary results in family therapy.

What Bandler and Grinder did differently was to find the

thinking strategies she was using, rather than merely copy

behaviors. The biggest problem interviewing experts is that

skills are usually unconscious. We can not explain how we walk,

talk or write for instance. What makes you a successful parent or

golfer? The expert's own theories explain their success. These

theories can include irrelevant habits and superstitions such as

sportsmen and their lucky socks.

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NLP Modeling involves transferring what an expert thinks they

know and what they unconsciously know. It involves being able

to produce the outcome and transferring the behavior to others.

The use of modeling in NLP does not just involve extraordinary

skills. For example, you could model how someone keeps her

desk clean. We can use the same key questions to find out how

someone keeps himself depressed, or becomes frustrated.

There are three phases to modeling

1. Observing the model

This involves fully imagining yourself in someone else's reality

by using what NLP calls a second position shift.

The focus is on "what" the person does (behavior and

physiology), "how" they do it (internal thinking strategies) and

"why" they do it (supporting beliefs and assumptions).

We obtain the "what" from direct observation. The "how" and

"why" is gained by asking quality questions. Deep trance

identification is a powerful tool to accomplish this part of the

process. It involves using unconscious clues to generate more

information than can be obtained logically.

NLP modeling components

The NLP Techniques skills and Presuppositions enable success in

modeling. These involve observing the model's:

o

Representational Systems (audio, visual, kine)

o

Strategies

o

Physiological components (like states and body postures)

o

Meta Programs, beliefs and values

o

Reference structures - the necessary background knowledge

2. Find the difference that makes the difference

Traditional learning adds pieces of a skill one bit at a time until

we have them all. The drawback to this method is we don't know

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which bits are essential. By contrast modeling which is the basis

of accelerated learning, gets all the elements and then subtracts

to find what is necessary.

By systematically taking out elements of the model's behavior,

we can find what pieces are essential. If the process still works

without that element, it is not relevant.

The important questions are:

o

What are the behavioral patterns of the successful person?

o

How does she achieve her results?

o

What did she do that is different from a person who is not

successful?

o

What is the difference that makes the difference?

When you have all the pieces, you can refine and sequence the

model.

3. Design a method to teach the skill

Until you have all the relevant pieces of a skill and the necessary

sequence, you cannot teach it effectively. We currently teach

many skills with extra background information and pieces

muddying the waters.

Rehearsal of the natural sequence of the skill is important. If you

tried to make a cake by putting it in the oven before mixing the

ingredients together, it would be yucky. Yet we think we can

teach separate elements of skills out of sequence and out of

context and succeed.

NLP Modeling is a powerful process that can accelerate learning

of skills. Strong modeling practices are the basis of good NLP

training.

Personally I would replace the word modeling with copying. You

have

to

copy

what

others

have

done

before.

"The movers and shakers of the world are often professional

modelers (copiers) - people who have mastered the art of

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learning everything they can by following other people's

experience rather than their own".

In other words if you can think, act and so on like someone else

you can duplicate their success.

So you are ready to programme your brain, use the right body

posture, copy someone else but what do you have to do first?

You've got to decide what it is you actually want from life, that's

what. This is quite difficult, but you've got to be brave,and get it

all down on paper.and think along the lines of, "If you knew you

wouldn't fail what would you do?"

This is to free our mind of limitations. Many of us think we can't

do something because of lots of negative thoughts we have

accepted over the years

How do we get rid of all of these limiting thoughts? By replacing

the pictures in our brain/mind/head with positive pictures.

The pictures of how we think things are can be manipuated. We

can look at them and make them darker or smaller until they

fade away and replace them with new brighter, bigger positive

pictures. This book will tell you how.

Source:

http://www.squidoo.com/unlimited-power

835

3.54 PROBLEM ANALYSIS

Identify problems; recognize significant information; gather and

coordinate relevant data; diagnose possible causes.

Behavioral statements:

 Take well planned steps to gather and organize data for

diagnostic purposes.

 Distinguish the grade of problems and to indicate major

issues.

 Foresee problems and to judge their relevance.

 Ask for questions and ensure they are answered.

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Basic Problem Definition

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Get a written list Define who

Separate the "real"

containing 5 - 9 wants to solve

problems from the

answers to the

each problem,

symptoms and

question:

who cares how it proposed solutions.

is solved and

A "real" problem has

"What is the

who might resist multiple potential

problem?"

the solution.

solutions. A good

from each

solution will cause all

Identify the

involved party.

related symptoms to

players by role

disappear.

or job title, not

name.

If necessary, apply

problem/symptom

reduction.

Problem/Symptom Reduction

STEP 1: Ask each involved party,

"What is wrong with how things work today?"

Capture the answers as a numbered list of potential problem

statements expressed as complete sentences.

STEP 2: For each problem statement on your list, ask,

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"Can anyone involved with the project do anything about it?"

If not, move it to an "out of scope" list to be reported back to

management.

STEP 3: For each problem statement on your reduced list, ask,

"Can anyone on the project identify multiple (different)

solutions?" If there is only one solution, the statement is an

implied requirement. Rephrase the statement and move it to the

requirement list.

STEP 4: For each problem statement on the remaining list, ask,

"If this problem were solved, would any other problem go

away?"

A "problem" that disappears when you solve a different problem

is a symptom. Associate the symptom with the related problem.

Any problem statement that is still on the list is considered a

"real" problem. These are the problems that any solution needs

to address while making sure that all of the identified symptoms

disappears

Good questions for analysing and solving of problems

Questions are used to open possibilities, to clarify meaning, and

to structure the progression through the four stages of problem

solving. Particular types of questions are most beneficial at each

stage of the problem solving process.

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o Problem articulation and framing: What questions are best at

this stage; they allow the group to gather details and

descriptions of the situation and help members understand the

real problem and thus reframe it in a way that everyone can

agree upon. For example, what is the most important thing…?

o Problem analysis stage: At this stage why questions are most

helpful; questions such as why is that important? Why do you

think it happened? Why were you feeling that way?

o Hypothesis generation or diagnosis stage: how questions allow

the group or individual to begin to formulate a tentative theory

to explain or address the problem: how is this situation similar

to or different from other problems? How could you do things

differently? How could we intervene?

o Action stage: At this stage, the group may be seeking to

describe behavior (test for different behaviors) or to share

inferences (test for different views); what questions become

important again. What are the implications of all this for future

action? What should you do now?

At any stage of the problem solving process, a team can get stuck,

not seeing a way forward. To help shake things up so that the

team can see things from a new perspective and move forward,

it’s useful to ask the following types of questions:

o Open-ended questions: Unlike closed questions, which seek a

short, specific response like yes or no, open ended questions

encourage people to expand ideas and allow exploration of

what’s important to them or what is comfortable for them to

reveal. Asking open ended questions also encourages them to do

the work of self reflection and problem solving rather than

justifying or defending a position. For example: what do you

think…? Could you say more about…? What possibilities come to

mind? What might happen if you…?

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o Clarification questions: When someone is not clear or you do

not experience the full understanding of the situation, you might

ask the person to define or explain the statement. For example:

Let me see if I am clear. Are you talking about…? Are you

saying…? Could you say that in different words?

o Questions for details: When someone is not clear, you might

ask for further bits of information. For example: More

specifically, what are some of the things that you have tried?

Have you asked so and so what his major concerns are? Does

thus and such agree that there are performance problems?

o Stimulating questions: Introduce ideas and options by asking

questions rather than suggesting a course of action. Emphasis is

on asking, rather than telling, inviting a thoughtful response and

maintaining a spirit of collaboration. For example: Let me see if

I’m clear. Are you talking about setting goals based upon your

feedback? This implies that person should use feedback as a

guide to setting goals. Similarly, have you asked so and so what

his concerns are? Can be used to offer someone the option of

inviting so and so to speak about his priorities.

o Probing questions: go below the level of events and behaviors

to search for internal drivers that trigger a person’s behavior.

For example: Why did this happen? Why did you believe this

would be the result?

o Summarizing questions: Invite others to complete or end the

discussion with questions that capture the key issues of action.

For example: What is the major point that has been made here?

840

Source:

Leading With Questions

How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask

Notes by Frumi Rachel Barr, MBA, Ph.D.

Author: Michael Marquardt - Publisher: Jossey-Bass

Copyright year: 2005 - ISBN: 10:0-7879-7746-2

ceoconfidante@frumi.com www.100mustreads.com 17

ceoconfidante@frumi.com www.100mustreads.com 18

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3.55 POSITIVITY

Our positive spirit is the Adventurer in us. It is the part of us that

glimpses what we are capable of. Through learning how to think

positively about our goals, and to act positively in our daily

habits, we attract to ourselves all the means which make our

goals achievable. Here are 7 ways to become more positive.

1. Create A Positive Self-Image

Your self-image is the person you think you are. You are your

own creation. When your self-image is low, you attract into your

life all the experiences and conditions that tell you how poor you

are. Conversely, when your self-image is high, you attract

experiences telling you how great you are. The easiest way to

create the self-image you want is through your self-talk. Simply

control the chatter in your head. Boost your morale regularly,

morning, noon, and night with what you tell yourself.

2. Talk In Terms Of Positive Goals

Our brains need images of positive goals to work towards. They

become confused if we feed them negative goals. So, if it is your

aim to give up smoking, don’t say: “I want to stop smoking”.

Instead, say “I want to enjoy a pleasant evening out with a couple

of refreshing drinks, breathing in fresh, revitalizing, clean, pure,

uncontaminated, healthy air.”

3. Have Positive Expectations

Numerous experiments confirm the truth that when you expect

the best, you usually get the best, and when you expect the

worst, you usually get that too. This is known as the self-

prophesying principle. So, at the start of any new enterprise or at

the start of each new day, look forward with expectations of the

very best.

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4. Always Review Positively

If we are positive at the start of an enterprise, we should be

equally positive at the end when we review. Many people

become discouraged when things don’t go to plan and they beat

themselves up for missing out on the one thing that didn’t work.

But there are always gems of real worth in every situation, even

apparent disasters, if we only look hard enough. One way to

review positively is to use igniter phrases rather than

chloroform phrases. So, an obstacle is not a “barrier” but a

“challenge”; a setback is not a “disaster” but a “chance to learn”;

and a tough problem is not a “failure”, but “a nut we’re going to

crack”.

5. Mix With Positive People

One of the biggest drains on our enthusiasms is to be surrounded

by people who are negative. They may be well-meaning with

their warnings but they are misguided. You have two choices if

you want to survive as a positive person: avoid them or train

them. One clever way to train negative people is to simply ignore

them when they use discouraging conversation. Simply blank

them. Then when they return to positive expressions, re-connect.

Very soon, they will learn that you are a person who has a sunny

disposition and they will simply drop their previously gloomy

attitude with you.

6. Use Positivity For Good Health

Emile Coue, the founder of auto-suggestion, carried out a

number of studies that proved that positive thinking can cure

both mental and physical pain. George Gallup in his study of old

age also found that a positive attitude was one of the key

ingredients of long living. More recent studies have shown that

brain cells actually shrivel up and die under the effect of negative

thinking while positive thinking actually changes the

843

composition of body cells for the better. Which all goes to show

that positivity is better than any medicine you could buy from

the chemist store.

7. Get The Positivity Habit

Good habits are as easy to make as bad ones. It’s simply a matter

of choice and repetition. So, if you want the positivity habit in

your life, do these things every day:

• dress the best you can

• smile more

• try to genuinely like others

• give people positive strokes of recognition

• give people the most precious gift you have: more of your time

• be thankful for everything you get.

Positivity is not a Pollyanna-ish rose-tinted view of things which

ignores reality, but a choice we make about thinking, acting, and

speaking which creates reality. As such, it has the power of

magic.

844

3.56 HEAD ON COLLISION

A client has pent-up emotion buried under denial, rationalization

and minimizing. "Hey, no one had a perfect childhood, it's no big

deal," he says, "it is what it is." What happens next? If his

therapist was trained in ISTDP, the client better make sure his

seatbelt is fastened.

Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP) was

developed in the 1960's by Dr. Habib Davanloo, a psychiatrist

who agreed with the basic tenets of psychoanalysis but became

frustrated with the length of time it required. He developed a

modality where the therapist becomes a much more active agent

of change and where resistance is handled directly and firmly. He

believed that when people push through the resistance and

experience true, intense emotion about the past and present,

psychological

symptoms

diminish

and

interpersonal

relationships improve.

The therapist, who knows how to spot a defense when she sees

one, jumps in and confronts the client with his resistance, points

out consequences of remaining defended (which may include

lost time, money and relationships) and presents him with a

choice.

Here's an example of a Head-On Collision, one that could be

applied to the client at the beginning of the article:

Let's take a look at what's happening here. You have come on

your own free will, because you are experiencing a