Chapter 14 – The Beginning
I can't believe I have been coming to the Lehman Center for five years. I still remember my first day. My biggest worries were fitting in and babies; so when my co-worker arrived I told her to tell me what to do and that I would do anything. She said "go get the baby up".
I nervously walked in the bedroom and the baby lifted her hands. I picked her up and she put her head on my shoulder and her little hand on my chest. My heart melted and any apprehension disappeared. I knew I was where I belonged. At that moment I said a little prayer that I would always see these kids as the precious gifts they are and that I would always feel grateful for my time here.
The five years since that prayer have been much more than I even knew to ask for. "Those kids" are now "my kids" and the feeling of gratitude has been joined by a deep sense of responsibility. I know that the male role models, in many of the kids lives, are not great. I also know that this makes my actions (and reactions) important as they develop a sense of how men should act. I am reminded of this over and over. I am reminded by the boy who asked , as I went to pick up a crying baby, if I was going to "beat his ass" and by the little girl who said she was sad her Dad was in prison (again) but "at least she had me" and by the hugs and smiles from the ones too small or incapable of words. Mostly I am reminded by the stories of little kids who have seen and heard much more than little kids should have to see and hear.
When I question how much of a difference I am making I think of the quote by Doc Childre: "An aware person loves all children he or she meets and interacts with for you are a caretaker for those moments in time." I am grateful for five years worth of "moments in time".