Chapter 12 Self-Knowledge and Self-Image.
All over the world, many people stumbled into success quite unexpectedly, after discovering themselves, or something they enjoyed doing. Many of these discoveries came late in life, for various reasons; so some folks actually dragged along for the first part of their lives, boring themselves to death at the same old desks. Wouldnt it be nice to trip over something enjoyable and be successful at 20 instead of 45? You could skip those 25 years of boredom with little pocketmoney. Furthermore, by the time you are 45, you are miles ahead of the guys your same age, in your Ferrari with your bursting wallet. What a difference, to start early!
Monica Seles, Martina Hingis and Boris Becker became World Tennis champions in their teens. Tiger Woods won the U.S. Golf Masters at 21. Two of these four people started their game at the age of three! Steven Jobs of Apple Computers and Bill Gates of Microsoft are also glowing examples of early birds. They were the wonder-kids in blue jeans who left college to fiddle with computers. Their obsession created such great computer products that they became Americas youngest billionaires before they were 30! (1 billion = 1,000 million). After Microsoft was listed on the stock exchange, its assets, products and market expanded explosively. Consequently, Bill Gates now ranks among the richest men in the world, with assets of over US$40 billion.
Conversely, successes like President Abraham Lincoln, and Ray Kroc of McDonald emerged much later. They started late, through no fault of their own because many factors came into play. I have read hundreds of books on success, and I know that success depends on various agents, skills, opportunities, and even accidents, being combined in various ways and proportions. We will study these technicalities in details later. Notwithstanding the many factors involved, it is still better to begin early. Let us get to know you a little better here, and in the next chapter, I will help you to discover your talents!
Shall we play a little game here? I will list down 50 different traits and I want you to put your scores from 1 to 10, next to them:
YOUR TRAITS SCORE
1. Your strength of ambition
2. Ability for dreams & goals
3. Optimism, humour
4. Your burning desire
5. How focused are you?
6. Will & determination
7. Social grace & courtesy
8. Sociability & friendliness
9. Kindness, altruism & love
10. Your self-esteem
11. Communication skills
12. Winning image, charisma
13. Health, beauty conscious
14. Good daily habits
15. How obsessive are you?
16. Assertive & dominating
17. A doer not just thinker
18. Creative & imaginative
19. Artistic, with good taste
20. Practical & set priorities
21. Energy & enthusiasm
22. Good usage of time
23. Good knowledge of self
24. Confident & decisive
25. Observant & inquisitive
26.Thrift & saving
27. Flexible & adaptable
28. Enterprising
29. Organised, methodical
30. Speed & efficiency
31. Affirmative mind
32. Love for nature, music
33. Able to shun negatives
34. Cautious, not careless
35. Courage, fortitude
36. Improve continuously
37. Good memory
38. Love for work
39. Can empower others
40. Gain respect, support
41. Open mind, foresight
42. Habit to go extra mile
43. Independent
44. Competitive
45. Alert for opportunities
46. Endurance
47. Love wealth, comfort
48. Self discipline
49. thirst for knowledge
50. How intuitive are you?
Now add up your score and divide by 5. If it is 90 you are good, if it is 70 you are average, and if it is 60, you are below average, it pays to go through the list and ask yourself: „Why didnt I measure up? Its high time I make some drastic improvements before I fall behind. In the months and years ahead, you must make periodical checks and assessment of yourself and your weaknesses. Some people fall into laziness, bad company or depression, until it is too late. View and examine yourself objectively and clearly. Know your faults and correct them immediately.
There must be millions of unsuccessful people on this planet who are bogged down in jobs that they dont really like. They never found the trigger to fire their exploding energy and potential. Dont let this happen to you. I know that for most of us, we had to take whatever that came along at the beginning, but you must still push tirelessly towards your final goals and the things you love. You can do this within the scope of your job, or start doing things as part-time hobbies. You can poise yourself on stepping stones, in waiting and grooming positions until your time comes!
Elvis Presley was a truck-driver. President Reagan was a movie-star. Charlie Chaplin was a regular loafer. Walt Disney was a jam-maker. (Although there was a remote resemblance between jam and water colour, his subsequent success was quite different.) From paupers to kings, indeed. Many millionaires were born poor; humiliation and harsh-reality often spurred people to success when their problems became opportunities, and their frustration, creativity!
The choice of careers is a very important decision in anyones life, but it is not as difficult as it looks. It is best to get down to the basics. If you have strong self-esteem, good looks, gift of the gab, and sense of humour, you can go into show business, and evolve into a little Oprah or Bill Cosby. Add leadership, knowledge and experience to that and you can aspire to be another Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher or Tony Blair. If you are the strong-silent type with high IQ and liking for numbers, you should consider working for the Statistics Department. If you love the fresh air, have average brain but much brawn, you might want to try the crocodile farm in Florida or Australia. Jokes aside, you should pick your profession wisely, by analysing your background, talents, strengths and interests.
Now you should be well convinced that you ought to know yourself, find your interests early in life, and develop from there. Next, you take your first step into lifes arena; but be careful, there could be a hiccup here, a global disease lurking around. Experts know that everyone is a living miracle, born to win, but due to some kind of universal curse, he soon develops inferiority and limitations. I think someone should invent a magic potion to rinse our brains daily. I suggest that parents remain on their toes when they bring up children, lest they utter or imply anything negative. Seldom do the world realise, that negatives are deadly in a childs formative years. Such acquired limitations are so wicked that I will „exorcise them, in another chapter on faith and beliefs.
The great Oscar Wilde once wrote, „To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. The wise and successful person is content with all the imperfections he is born with. He sees no reason why he should not harbour full confidence and self-esteem, and make the best use of what he has. Make that your life-long creed. You must now take great pain and care, in grooming every cell and chromosome in your self-image.
The greatest psychological finding of this century is: Self-image. It is the total mental picture of yourself which you carry around with you every minute of the day. You may not be aware of it, but it is there, complete to the last detail! This image grew out of the beliefs you formed about yourself since the birth. This image determines your level of self-esteem. It is the basis on which your entire personality, behaviour and even environment, are built. It is also a prime motivator. Dr Samuel Johnson declared, „Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
Fortunately for us, our self-image can be drastically altered and enhanced. Improvements must be made however, at our inner core, not just patching up the fringes. When you lose a soccer game, make sure you think and say: „We lost that one game, well win next time. instead of: „Im a hopeless soccer player, a real failure. See the great difference that makes? The damage from that second sentence is quite incisive, though you may not know it. So be careful how you treat yourself. Experts believe we have great reservoirs of ability, even genius, which we fail to utilise fully, instead we are wrapped up in the silly game of trying to match or resemble other people. In more severe cases, cowardice, inferiority and self-doubts have impoverished millions of people, stay clear of those pit-falls at all costs!
In order to change your self-image successfully, you must, in the privacy of your soul deeply recognise yourself as a fresh, new person, and go on to harness and enjoy all your new-found strengths and qualities. Your agenda should include new dressing, grooming, and a novel outlook on everything. Experts have been so amazed by the results of new approaches taught to weak students, and the outcomes of plastic surgery on people. In general, to succeed and to live happily, you must accept, like, believe and trust everything about you. Be proud of yourself, your thoughts, words and deeds, and be convinced of your worth and competence. Your self-image will blossom naturally from thereon. You will find soon that little can stand in the way of your self-esteem and confidence.
Take care of your self-image and regularly reinforce it, by feeding your subconscious with boosting, inspiring thoughts. Your subconscious will accept what you regularly think. To put things short and sweet, you just simply believe you can, and have the ability to do it. For more difficult things they just take more time and practice, thats all. Next, take your confidence further and go to the extent of challenging yourself, saying: „This is almost impossible but I can do it. Others have attempted to prove to their families, friends and even enemies and have succeeded!
Throughout history, many people performed incredible feats, and many of them said that it was the I can attitude. Edmund Hillary, Mark Spitz, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, and hundreds in the Guinness Book of Records did it. Go to the library and read more about them. In subsequent essays, I will equip you with more things to boost your confidence to its highest level. In the meantime, I want you to take a deep breath every morning and say: „Theres a God-given force inside me, waiting to burst into a thousand fireworks of flying colours, from now on, nothing real or imaginary can stop my advance towards greatness and glory.
"You also have to have a certain amount of conceit, which leads you to believe that you and you alone can get things moving." - Roy Cohn.
"He who undervalues himself is justly undervalued by others." - Hazlitt.
"Then one has the astonishing experience of feeling united with one's self, not in pride and false self-satisfaction, but in a deep self-acceptance. One accepts one's self as something which is eternally important, eternally loved, eternally accepted.... There is a centre, a direction, a meaning from life." - Paul Tillich.
"Self-image is all-important. It is for everybody, and anybody who says anything different is telling lies." - Charles Williams.
"The next time you watch a star performer on stage or TV, look for this inner quality. I don't care whom you pick - all great show business personalities have it. It is their winning self-image that allows them to rise above the others..." R. L. Shook.