Reaching Out by Stephen Tan - HTML preview

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Chapter 21 The Winners Image.

Our physical appearance, dress and mannerism are the first things that meet people. They are our loudest introduction to the world, and it is only natural that people judge us on our looks before they get to know our strengths and weaknesses. We will never get a second chance to make that first impression! A good image is a great asset everywhere, it talks before we speak. Another reason why appearance is so important is its tie-up with our self-esteem, social and commercial skills, habits and conduct, health and fitness, background and even character, all combined synergistically to make that strong entity. Have you ever realised that throughout the day, other people look at us more than we look at ourselves? Since our image is so vital for doing well in the world, you would think that grooming should be a daily concern, I think it should be in your flesh and blood, as entrenched in you as breathing and heartbeat, because your image grows on you.

It is often said, dont judge a book by its cover, and all that glisters is not gold; but I have learned from experience that what we see is often what we get. (Over the years I have learned to read character from faces too.) Tell me, would you go back to a doctor who looks like a shabby and shaky grave-digger? Or to a dentist who resembles a butcher from the slaughterhouse? I wouldnt. (I dont intend to play down any profession here, but image should also match the nature of work.) We all want a doctor who is calm and clean, a dentist who is careful, hygienic and humorous. People are even more „touchy with heart surgeons! I can remember visiting a doctor once, who was more like a part-time practitioner. A lean, fragile person at an old desk, with an ancient, rusty torch light that shone into my throat. I thought the rather shabby clinic was more suitable for a tattoo outfit! I did not get well fast, nor did I return to him again. These days, with the wellproven, miraculous healing power of the placebo pills (dummy tablets), I believe the right look and personality of a doctor is quite sufficient to cure the patient. It is all in the mind.

The building of a winning image requires that you start at the very core of everything, because everything counts. Whatever are created and developed inside us are revealed externally to discerning eyes. When happiness gets into our system, it breaks out on our faces. A long face, a positive mind and a happy heart seldom go together. So, we must first ensure our emotional well-being, boosted by peace, contentment and a positive, forward-looking attitude. Next, we pamper ourselves with nutrition, health, hygiene, and ample sleep. Our faces should project radiance and energy, not fatigue and dissipation. If good looks are based on sleep and nourishment, many people these days must be suffering from insomnia and malnutrition!.

For teenagers, I understand they can feel like strangers in their own bodies at a time of rapid changes and growth. Nonetheless, lets take special care of ourselves. Simple hygiene and good habits cost next to nothing, but they do much to improve our attractiveness, which is enhanced by things like tidy hair, sparkling face, shining eyes, spotless nails, white teeth, pink gums, weight control, and so on. A clean mind is revealed in a clean body. Conversely, we can judge the character of those with unkempt hair, dirty fingernails and crude and careless clothing!

With a healthy body, we then move on to improve our posture, breathing, voice, gaze, gait and gesture. Dont stand like a saxophone and acquire a hunchback! Mind you, our posture and physiology can affect our moods and feeling, which I will discuss further in another chapter. Without good posture and breathing, our body cells, muscles, and the entire nervous system cannot be cleansed and energised. We must stand and sit confidently and comfortably, without stooping and slouching. The ideal walk is neither slow nor fast, neither jumpy nor feet-dragging, relaxed yet confident, energetic yet smooth and unruffled.

Now, it is time to dress up. These days, clothes are so important that people say: You are what you wear. Mr John Molloy, in his book  Dress For Success cited how in an experiment, a respectfullydressed „actor received obliging service from 42 of the 50 secretaries he approached. In another situation, the same actor, more flashily and radically dressed, received good attention from only 12 of the 50 secretaries tested! In an additional experiment, a gentleman had the task of delivering envelopes to 50 executives. In a beige raincoat (often worn by executives), he needed only one third of the time that he spent delivering in a black raincoat (often worn by the working class). So you see, you draw different response and treatment with different attire. Sloppiness may not cost you much money, but it can cost you much more in other ways, it may even cost you your job! Would you last another day as a bank manager or a doctor if you came in with a punky, crested gladiator hairdo? Weird, crazy, outlandish, noisy and bizarre fashions are repulsive to sensible people. Avoid them, unless you are in show business.

Dress appropriately for all situations and occasions. Choose conventional fashion, which are not drab and dull, but pleasant, visible and attractive. Set yourself apart from others with a dignified, distinctive, stable and independent style. The trick is to be slightly different from the crowd, and yet not radically different! Be conservative yet up-to-date; you conform but you stand out! How you wear your clothes is as important as what you wear, if the clothes do not fit you, you are bound to look awkward. Be selective, because your apparel tells a lot about you. Always present yourself as someone intelligent, educated and successful. The choices of colours, texture, patterns, cuts, shapes, sizes, lengths, fittings, accessories, belts, socks and shoes are all important and should match among themselves as well as the circumstances in which they are worn.

Of all the things that we wear, perhaps our expression is the most important, and the smile is the facelift that is sure to improve our appearance. It takes about 20 muscles to smile and 60 muscles to frown. Why not make it easy on yourself! Exude enthusiasm. Sometimes a smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a lifetime. Be expressive and articulate in a natural way, because If you strive too hard to look and act great it will show! Your social interaction counts greatly. Always maintain a calm, steady and warm-hearted gaze, and offer firm handshakes. Dont be just a rough diamond; the sincere smile and the twinkle in the eyes cost nothing but they always break the ice and work wonders.

Command a pleasant and expressive voice with the right pitch and volume. You can further train your voice by reading, or playbacks of your recorded speech. It is safer to limit your hand and body gestures to a few simple and effective ones, without being carried away. Your standard of etiquette and courtesy must be AAA, and yet never deliberate or artificial. You will be punctual for all appointments, remember names and faces, and talk in a considerate and responsible way. You see, all these social skills are so important that as a result, the best teacher need not be the most learned, the hardest-working salesman is not necessary the best, and the smartest worker is not always the most valuable! In other words, social skills can take the place of substantial knowledge and hard work.

As you grow up and advance in your career, your attire, trappings and surrounding must match or even precede your level of success. Likewise, your business or the company you work for, must invest in an impressive corporate image that projects quality, strength, stability and progress. A catchy and attractive name and emblem helps; look at all those nice airline logos. In climbing the social and corporate ladder, you will show excellent taste, choice, intelligence and affluence, in yourself, your environment and the people you associate with. You will for example, put your certificates in a serious and respectable folder, not a tattered envelope, when you go for a job interview. I would never, for instance, wear a coloured shirt with a frail or freaky tie, and several plastic pens in my pocket, I would look like a road-side magician or a bookkeeping clerk! I wouldnt carry a big salesmans briefcase either. Nothing succeeds like the look of success!

You should steadily reward and adorn yourself along the way. Pamper yourself with symbols of success: Good watches, leather shoes and bags, and later, an impressive office, a beautiful house, coupled with an automatic fuel-injected car in the luxurious category! They all add to your image of achievement and stability, and can propel you to dizzying heights.

When you attain a position of top management and leadership, you should take an office in the deeper and more private end of the building. You will be extremely knowledgeable and eloquent, with the upright stance, confident gaze, purposeful movements and relaxed expressions that mark you out as the person in control. You will make your environment more conducive to thinking, planning, creativity and top performance.

I will end this essay with the vital message: All through your life, you must strive to be the kind of person whose arrival can light up a room and enrich the people and things in it.

"Corporate identity is the modern company's single most powerful management resource. And communicating its identity to everyone not just its customers - is a company's first priority." - Wally Olins.

"In our highly competitive society, people like to deal with successful people because they feel these people must be good at what they do...it is essential that you buy first class, professional tools.." - R. L. Shook.

"Body image is part of self-image. It can affect a person's self-confidence and what he does and does not do in life." - Dr J. Comer.

"A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks." - C. Gordy.

"Teenager to friend: My mother gained weight because of shame. It's a shame to throw this out; it's a shame to throw that out." - L. Lozanoff.

"The best effects of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence." - R. W. Emerson.

"Cheerfulness is the atmosphere under which all things thrive." - J. P. Richter.

"Why not be oneself? That is the whole secret of a successful appearance." - Edith Sitwell.

"Look sharp, feel sharp, be sharp! Take that advice and I'll see you at the top!" Zig Ziglar.

"You may make every effort to dress in perfect style - but it will all be wasted unless you wear a smile." - P. Strong.

"I cannot help forming some opinion of a man's sense and character from his dress; and I believe most people do.." - Lord Chesterfield.