Chapter 67 Coping with Frustration and Failure.
When Andre Agassi was 16, he flew to a tennis match in Tokyo, with barely enough money to return home. He said, 'Its a big burden too big, when you dont feel youve enough money to ask for a glass of water. The next year, after a string of defeats, he virtually gave up tennis. In 1995 he reached the No 1 world ranking. His contract with Nike sports goods alone is worth US$102 million! Knut Hamsun, a Norwegian immigrant, almost succumbed to endless failures, but he gathered enough strength to pour his desolation into a book aptly entitled Hunger. The writing went on to win the Nobel Prize, and showered him with wealth beyond his wildest dreams! John Bunyan and O. Henry were thrown into prison, but soon developed their genius, and became distinguished authors too. Charles Dickens was transformed by the tragedy of his first love into a famous writer. The fabulous Beatles, in their early days as a singing group in Hamburg, lived in hardship inside a windowless room. Julio Iglesias, now a celebrity singer, was a soccer champion until a car crash hospitalised him for 18 months; there he started learning the guitar!
Years ago, a teenager left Bahamas and arrived in New York with only US$3 in his pocket, and he slept on rooftops. He could hardly read and his attempt at acting failed. He resorted to dish-washing, where he learned day and night with steel-like determination, to read and speak. Finally he became a movie star. Sidney Poitier! In his early days, Sylvester Stallone was rejected hundreds of times, but he trudged on and on, knocking on doors, and finally landed in the big movie Rocky. Endless hindrances confronted Helen Reddy, Disney, Spielberg, Soichiro Honda, Thomas Watson, and millions of others. In sales business, great success was achieved by those who were never terrified by the word 'no, instead the word had a strange power that prodded them on. It seemed that their only vocabulary was: Next, and next, and next! All great sportsmen and athletes have also gone through endless hurdles or disappointments, ask any of them.
The outcomes of our lives depend on our ability to tackle frustrations and rejections, even incessant and massive ones. One should keep things in perspective, with powerful optimism. If a person loses his job he may look in the mirror and say: 'Im an unemployed bum. He should instead say hopefully, 'Now I can have opportunities and options! Pessimism, self-pity, surrender, and various forms of negativism are life-wasters and destructive agents. Dejection can kill dreams, turn desire into drowsiness, and energy into exhaustion. In tough times, we can either let heartbreaks destroy us or use them to better and strengthen ourselves. Let us embrace disappointments and continuously brainstorm new ways for breaking through. W. Irving noted, 'Little minds...are subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.
Impressive success stories featured people who rose above grave adversity to reach greatness. They plodded on, while others just gave up. 'Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Observed Oliver Goldsmith. The great Sir Winston Churchill asserted, 'Kites rise highest against the wind not with it. The capacity for suffering is the prerequisite for greatness, even Jesus Christ suffered; this is the price we all must pay. Remember, diamonds were pieces of coal that evolved under intense heat and pressure.
Failures are only temporary results, they are seldom permanent or conclusive. We are never beaten as long as we are still alive, it is only a matter of time before we turn distress into success. People do not fail, they just give up trying. Denials and impediments are blessings in disguise; the silent work of the Almighty to transform us, to strengthen us and to save us from bigger troubles! Old Chinese sayings remind us to 'Use retreat to advance. and that 'To be the greatest of men, you must suffer the bitterest of bitter. Retreat and retrospection enable us to learn from disappointments and setbacks, to adopt better strategies and actions, even to set new goals. The man who adheres to his wisely chosen course, and presses forward smartly regardless of obstacles, will succeed. If he is endlessly resourceful, he can weather any storm. He could build a house with the stones that people throw at him!
The great inventor Edison was asked why he kept trying to make a new type of battery after failing so often. His answer was: 'I have no failures. Now I know 50,000 ways it wont work! Everywhere, people are handicapped by circumstances, cheated and battered by others, floored by illness and accidents, overwhelmed by grief and misfortune, yet they burst through with triumph and glory. Here are their tactics, adopt them:
1. Keep your eyes on your dreams & destination with faith and will-power.Believe
success is yours in a matter of time. Never give up. Get up one more time than being
knocked down.
2. Have powerful and total confidence in your inner strength.
3. Find good and happiness everywhere, even little relief, solace, attractions orrewards.
Look for the silver lining.
4. No negativism & selfpity; conserve energy for lifes battles.
5. Affirm your self-worth, self-image, talents and calibre.
6. Adapt to change, keep brainstorming, knocking and stepping.
7. Reach out, especially for relationships that enrich your life.
8. Focus outwards, help others and get assistance in return.
9. Tackle all hurdles with complete optimism and gamesmanship.
10. Have a fierce desire to face & tackle experience and to learn from it. Someday, a
sudden or threatening change may rock your world. Do not be afraid of strange or
difficult situations. Counteract or adapt to whatever faces you. If you try your best to
overcome obstacles, you will emerge smarter and stronger. If you can thrive in a
crisis, you become a professional human being, you can flourish anywhere, anytime!
On
e day you will be glad about those rude awakenings and stumbling blocks. Trials and
tribulations often force the door of opportunity! Napoleon Hill asserted: 'Every
adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with itthe seed of an equivalent or
a greater benefit. If you do not surmount difficulty and make an effort, you will not go
beyond where you are now, you may even fall behind. Let your frustration spur you
towards greater achievement and power. Sweet revenge!
Ernest Hemingway noted, 'The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places. Thomas Watson wrote, 'Failure is a teacher - a harsh one, perhaps, but the best...Youve got to put failure to work for you...thats where you will find success. Surmount your temporary setbacks, you will be wiser and tougher persons after the ordeals. When you win eventually, it will be the greatest triumph in your life! I know victory is awaiting you.