Chapter 68 Stress, Worry, Fear and Depression.
In the modern rat-racing and dog-eat-dog society, stress is now a widespread problem. It can brew disorders and diseases, even mental illness. Long periods of stress can cause anxiety, fear, depression, nervous breakdown and lead to selfdestructive behaviour like smoking, alcoholism, obesity, drugs or even suicide. Stress is dangerous; it must be nipped in the bud. One day, you may suffer and strain under its weight. This lesson is the cream of stress-fighters, and ensures you will walk away scot-free and happy.
Recognise the symptoms of stress. The common symptoms are: Tension, nervousness, irregular emotions of discord breathing and heart-beat, indigestion, insomnia, fear, and being tied-in-knots, a lack of self-esteem and
concentration, and a perceived loss of control and stability. Anxiety and depression are common complaints, so are panic attacks, phobias, even feelings of oncoming doom and insanity.
The causes of stress. Coping with stress is easier if you know your exact causes. Frustrations, resentment, anger, hurt, grudge, guilt, aimlessness, loneliness, setbacks, failures, losses and crisis are all roots of stress; so are changes in job, residence and life-style, and the lack of rest, exercise and nutrition. The following are internal and external remedies; you can vary and fine-tune the cures to suit yourself.
A. The internal remedies:
1. Change your attitude. See life in the right, healthy perspectives. Say to yourself: 'This is the only life I have. I wont get a second chance. I accept that therere things I can change and things I cant change, but therere endless opportunities to have fun, achievement and wealth and I am entitled to them. Marcus Aurelius stated, 'If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. Gratitude and contentment play a beautiful part, cultivate them as replacements for envy, covetousness, greed and spite.
2. Find a new meaning and purpose in life. Dream new dreams and set some compelling yet reachable goals. Work up a burning desire, even an obsession for something; these are stress-busters. Put immediate stops to destructive, negative feelings. If you truly believe that life is worth living, your belief will materialise. Focus and determination come with purpose; they provide commitment and propelling power to reach your goals, sending lethargy and hopelessness out the window.
3. Fortitude. This is often the first step to conquer stress. Boost your courage. Look at fear in the face, confront it, analyse it, tear it apart, restore your faith fully, and develop a powerful sense of control. Fear comes from a belief of powerlessness, never amplify this by underrating yourself and expecting the worst to happen. Instead, prepare yourself well mentally and physically, for any situation. Use visualisation and affirmation to boost your confidence, while you kick the habits of worry and aimlessness. Norman V. Peale, the famous motivator said, 'Fear is never a reason for quitting; it is only an excuse. Shakespeare wrote: 'Cowards die many times before their deaths.
4. Love and warmth. The importance of affection and attachment is best illustrated by Robert Holden when he wrote, 'All forms of stress and illness are lessons in love. They are consequential symptoms of an absence or lack of love, either for yourself, for others or from others. With love come altruism and charity; loving, giving and helping boosts the feeling of self-worth and usefulness. So do a good deed a day, it keeps stress away! Besides, human contacts and funsharing have great healing powers. In life, there are bound to be incidents of misunderstanding and hurt; please ensure that you have not misinterpreted something, or given it the wrong priority and weight. Give others the benefit of the doubt and let things rest, or express your grievances tactfully to the persons involved and get things off your chest. It is best to look wider, further and more permanently at various issues. Resentment is self-punishment. We all get hurt or rejected sometimes, and we often exaggerate our wounds and brood over them, hurting ourselves more in the process, how petty and silly can we get!
5. Inquisitiveness and curiosity. See and find good everywhere. Love the unknown and unexpected. Make discoveries.
6. Desire and passion. Create and kindle them, and do not start a day without them; they add zeal, zest and zing to your life.
7. Music, relaxation and short power-naps. These inputs are powerful enough to erase much of the disharmony and depression in people. For ages, music has been known as a potent healing force, so are meditation and relaxation, which I will discuss soon.
8. Nutrition, rest and vitality. Vitamin Bs, good nutrition from a variety of fresh foods etc, all reduce stress and anxiety. Nervousness is also a result of exhaustion. The Desideratataught us: 'Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Do not distress yourself with imaginings.
9. Cheerfulness, humour and optimism. Live pleasurably and exude joy to those around you. It tells your subconscious you are in control and ready for any of lifes challenge. Conversely, worry is the greatest waste of time, energy and happiness. We can spend our whole life worrying and it will not change a thing! Most of what we worry will never happen, and experts estimate this at 90%; most of the remainders are things we cannot change! For those we can change, divide and conquer them, one at a time. William R. Inge declared: 'Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due. Hope and optimism are real necessities. Edmund Burke urged, 'Never despair, but if you do work on in despair.
10. Visualisation, affirmation and prayer. Stress is largely created in the mind, and the mind can clear it. Pleasant memories, images and anticipation, boosted by regular affirmation and prayer can do wonders. Say this frequently: 'God, you are my constant guiding companion, you are filling me with clarity, courage, contentment, calm and control.
B. The external remedies:
Start the day well, with gratitude for being given another day to shine and succeed. Look forward to enjoy the day; schedule fun and events. Take nice walks and go jungle trekking. Stretch and breathe fully and deeply. Jog and exercise regularly. Take a bubble bath. Tidy up and beautify your home and office; harmony and beauty are most soothing and relaxing. Make thorough work preparation that brings confidence and accomplishments. Reward and pamper yourself. Do all the things that you enjoy doing, without compromising on your morals of course. Memorise and share jokes; laughter increases levels of endorphins that ease pain and fight diseases. Cuddle and tickle a baby. Enjoy all the good music you can lay hands on; play the piano or learn a new song. Play games and read engrossing books. Bring in plants and flowers; start an aquarium, keep pets and pretty singing birds. Begin a hobby. Look for novelty; change your environment if necessary. Move out of the past into a refreshing future. Look ahead with delightful anticipation. Reach out to family members and friends, there are also caring people everywhere. Talk, laugh, play, and learn from others.
Barbara Johnson said, 'Worry is wasting todays time to clutter up tomorrows opportunities with yesterday's troubles. When you worry, you are suffering before, and more than it is necessary! Few things in life are worth worrying about. Only a soldier in battle has any cause for concern. Even then, the worst outcome is getting killed, by then he would have nothing to worry about! Much fear and worry is caused by the imagination. They are later discovered to be a waste of time, so dont make a pastime of it, it is a wicked substitute for action and a poor excuse for laziness and lack of accomplishment.
Life is too short for fretting, so change your disturbing habits quickly. Depression feeds on procrastination and self-pity, activity is its best exterminator. A good cure for it is its instant substitution with pleasant, winning images of the past and the future. The idle mind is the devils workshop, and the best solution for slump and gloom is hard work. Let stress motivate you instead. Hard work makes happy people. When you do positive and purposeful things, you will not think of negative ones.
The capacity to take misfortune and to make something good out of it is a rare talent, but this can be developed. You can begin by spending some time to watch and emulate the little sunbird or hummingbird outside your window. It is perpetually busy, looking left and right, singing, searching, exploring and enjoying its life to the fullest. It has no time for anything negative. For me, I only need to wake up with this line that sends stress packing and running away: 'I want to enjoy and progress every minute of this day!