Seven Secrets Of Millionaires by Stuart Goldsmith - HTML preview

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Chapter Three

It All Starts With a Dream

“If You Don't Have a Dream, How Are You Going

to Make Your Dreams Come True?

It all starts with a dream...

Let me tell you up front that if you do not have a dream, you will

not become a millionaire other than by winning a game of chance. It's

just too hard.

To make this kind of money you need to be laser-beam focused,

and you can't be that if you only have a half-hearted interest in what

you are doing. You know this is true.

How? Just look at some famous multimillionaires who still keep

working ten or twelve hours a day, even though they don't need the

money.

Why do they do this? Because they have a passion for what they

do. They would probably do it without payment!

Dreaming is a type of visualisation. It is visualisation plus passion.

These are the things that you really want to be, to have or to do. If

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Do You Sincerely Want to be Rich?

you do not achieve these things over (say) the next ten years, you are

going to be seriously disillusioned and upset.

You should be able to write a list of six such things. If you cannot

think of a single one then you are most unlikely ever to live a life of

power and passion. Also, your chances of making big money are

vanishingly small. If you like, this is your first reality check.

Can you think of a few things about which you are passionate?

One or two things which you care deeply about? Just one would be a

start.

Don't beat yourself up if you cannot immediately think of

something. It is hard to dream up a better life for yourself due to the

decades of negative conditioning you have allowed yourself to accept.

How often did your teachers, parents and friends encourage you to

dream and ask you to share your vision with them? Approximately

never? I thought so! How often did someone shoot your fledgling

dreams down in flames or pour scorn upon them? Small wonder that

your dreams are not on public display.

The Future You

Here is a little exercise which might help.

Imagine walking into a room and meeting the 'you' of ten years

from now. What will you be wearing? Where will you be living?

What will your lifestyle be like? What car will you be driving? Will

you be running a business? If so, how successful will you be? What

will your net worth be?

You really only have three choices here about how the ‘you of the

future’ will look, and this is where the power of this exercise lies:

1. Somewhere in between how you are now, and a depressed, broke

and scruffy tramp.

2. An exact clone of how you are now - absolutely nothing has

changed in a decade.

3. A happier, wealthier, healthier version of the ‘you of today.’

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Do You Sincerely Want to be Rich?

Only a suicidal depressive would visualise number one. Number

two is effectively saying that nothing will change; you will not grow

over the next ten years, you will not get richer, happier, wiser,

healthier - anything. The 'you of tomorrow' will be indistinguishable

from the 'you of today.'

So that just leaves number three, and if you selected this it remains

for you to back this glittering vision of the 'future you' with all the

force of your imagination.

Having imagined how you will be in the next ten years, here is a

really neat to trick to help you achieve it.

Ask yourself the following questions:

 “What do I need to achieve in the next 12 months in order to

make my future dream a reality?”

 “What do I need to do in the next month to start myself on this

journey?”

 “What can I do by next week to prepare myself for the journey?”

 “What can I do right now, today, in order to start this process

off?”

Do you see how this works?

You need to dream, but this is not enough. Dreams come a size too

large so that you can grow into them and this means that dreams are

too large to realise all at once.

Our minds are finite, and so all large projects must be broken down

into bite-sized chunks otherwise we become discouraged by the scale

of the endeavour. This is one of the secret keys of successful people.

They are undaunted by large projects, because they have the knack of

breaking them down into simple steps. Each step is easily

manageable, and can be completed in anything from a few hours to a

few weeks.

In contrast, it is useful to analyse the situation of people who are

stuck, both monetarily and in spirit, if only to allow you to avoid

these errors. This is based on my experience of two decades of

dealing with both winners and temporary losers in the game of life.

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Do You Sincerely Want to be Rich?

1. They are frightened. Their lives are dominated by fear. They see

the world as a scary, threatening place and crave security, dullness,

mediocrity. They long for every day to be the same as the last and

become scared and upset if even a small change breaks the monotony

of their days.

2. They completely lack visualisation ability. If asked to visualise

their future self, they would stare at you blankly. They are not

pretending. They do not even understand what you mean by this

exercise. If you force them to try, they'll come back with nothing

more than a shrug.

3. Assuming that you could drag some sort of dream out of them (for

example wanting to be worth a million pounds some day) then they

would be wholly incapable of working backwards from that point to

the present, and suggesting actions they might have to take in order to

make this come about. Again, they are not faking. There is now; there

is the future; and in between, a yawning, fathomless chasm - a blank.

4. Even if you were to write the steps out, 1-100, with a check box

next to each one, they absolutely lack the discipline even to start on

the task, let alone complete the steps. At the first slight downfall, or

negative comment from a friend, they will give up. In any situation

which requires a choice between working for a better future, and

instant gratification now, they will unfailingly choose instant

gratification.

But this is not you, hopefully. If you recognise yourself here, then

don't worry because it is possible to change and get out of this 'stuck'

pattern you are in.

You need to develop the habits of a winner. You want to enjoy

today, but have an even better tomorrow waiting for you. To do this

you must model yourself on winners - people who have achieved

great things in their lives. I am talking here about 'winners' and 'losers'

but I do not mean the term 'loser' in the usual derogatory sense. By a

'loser' I mean someone who, by their own definition of winning and

losing, is falling well short of where they want to be. By a 'winner' I

mean someone who, by their own definition of winning and losing, is

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pulling ahead of the game and achieving that which they set out to

achieve.

This is how a winner operates:

1. They are brave. Like all human beings they feel fear, but have

mastered it and are able to rise above it. Whilst they acknowledge that

there are frightening people and places in the world, in general they

view the world as a benevolent place, full of great opportunities and

wonderful people. This is a vital principle. Winners view the world as

mainly benevolent with some bad bits. Losers see the world as mainly

malevolent with some good bits.

2. They are good visualisers. They have the ability to imagine the

future, often in glorious Technicolor detail. They have high self-

esteem, and know that they are worth more than they have at present.

Life to them is an exciting adventure to be lived to the full. In

contrast, losers view life as a terrible chore to be somehow 'got

through' with as little pain as possible.

3. They are intelligent, rational and logical. If they have a dream of

the future, they know the secret technique for making this happen.

Today's dreams are tomorrow's realities. They know that large

projects cannot be tackled by finite human minds unless they are

broken down into manageable, bite-sized pieces. They are able to

work backwards from a future dream to the present day, and to list the

logical steps required to make that dream come true.

4. Having written down the steps required to achieve their goals, they

know what is required next. Action. Up until this point, all of their

plans amount to little more than ethereal hot air. It is action which

grounds the circuit and allows the current to flow. They know that the

journey will be long and hard. Any worthwhile dream will involve

hard work, concentrated effort and some suffering to attain. They

need one more quality. Discipline. This keeps them going during

setbacks, when the list seems too long, and when others heap mirth

and derision upon their efforts.

Five Tips to Turbo-Charge Your Dream

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1. Dream of a brighter tomorrow. Your yearning power is more

important than your earning power.

2. Be rational. Mysticism is your mortal enemy. There are obvious,

logical steps between here and your dreams. Write them down in bite-

sized chunks and follow them like a route map.

3. Act. All is dust without action. Action is the key.

4. Be disciplined. Life is tough. Fight. Others want you to fail. Ignore

them. The world is against you - go your own way. People will spout

rubbish - ignore it.

5. Start today. Procrastination is the thief of time. Winners start right

now. Losers chatter to themselves that they will start 'one day real

soon.' It never happens.

Hierarchy of Needs

All dreams are driven by your needs. This might be your need for

approval, recognition, status, safety, love, food, shelter - or any one of

a hundred different needs. So when thinking about your dreams, I

want you to remember this concept called the hierarchy of needs - you

might have come across this before. It goes like this:

When life is a desperate struggle, we are overwhelmingly

consumed with the desire for food. Every waking moment is spent in

pursuit of nourishment. Nothing else matters. We scrabble the earth

from dawn until dusk with little on our mind apart from the thrill of

discovering another root or berry. There is little time for philosophy

or self fulfilment. We work, we sleep, we eat - if we're lucky.

Food is the first need, assuming we have basics such as air and

water. If, due to man's ingenuity, we manage to crack the food supply

problem, our next need becomes shelter and warmth - somewhere

cosy to lay our heads at night. If we achieve all of these things, the

next thing we seek is love and belongingness.

And after that?

Recognition, self-esteem and the esteem of our peers.

This is a very important realisation for you. It is very likely that

you already have air, water, sufficient food, a roof over your head, a

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modest amount of money, and a certain amount of love and

friendship. Therefore your dreams will almost certainly reflect your

next need on the list which is your desire for recognition, self-esteem,

admiration, respect, fame, achievement, etc.

If you want ten million pounds, then this is almost certainly

because you want to be somebody and have the respect and

admiration of society, not because you need a larger roof over your

head or extra food.

As an interesting aside, the modern phenomenon of the serial killer

coincides exactly with a period when, for the first time in history,

most people have adequate food, shelter and warmth. Next in the

hierarchy of needs comes love, which we will assume is thwarted for

some reason. So the next higher need is recognition. Or, in the case of

the criminal, notoriety. Most serial killers when caught and

questioned, mentioned that one motivating factor was the desire to be

somebody - a rare motive in crimes from previous centuries. Paul

John Knowles who embarked upon a random killing spree in 1972,

claiming the lives of at least 24 victims, declared himself to be “the

only successful member of my family” and positively basked in the

media attention after his arrest. He was subsequently shot dead by an

FBI agent whilst trying to grab a gun after a court appearance.

Recognising your desire for adulation, fame, infamy - call it what

you will - helps to clear your head and focus your mind more firmly

on your goals. It can also help you to detect erroneous or incorrect

dreams. Yes, there are such things as incorrect dreams. I would define

this as a dream which is an overly complex or grandiose strategy for

filling a simple need, when a far simpler (and more achievable)

strategy might suffice.

Achieving a net worth of ten million pounds is actually a difficult

task and one which will exercise you for the next ten or twenty years.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, if it is what you really

desire. But if this dream is being driven by a craving for recognition,

admiration or respect then there may be an easier way of satisfying

your desires without going through the twenty years of grief required

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to amass ten million. Perhaps you can get the recognition you crave in

some other simpler way by writing a book, appearing on television,

being a star in your local community or any one of a hundred easier

ways. It's just something for you to think about.

Once you understand that it is our need for recognition, not money,

which drives most people in an affluent Western society, you will be

less puzzled by the things that are going on around you. The rise in

crime and delinquency is not caused by poverty, it is caused by tens

of thousands of petty crooks wanting to ‘be somebody,’ or ‘teach

society a lesson’ or to 'get respect' - they are, if you like, ego crimes

not fiscal crimes.

A century ago most crime was survival crime. People stole to eat.

Vandalism was almost unknown. A vandal leaves his or her mark on

the furniture of society - it is a statement of ego.

The dramatic rise in divorce rate has little to do with people being

worse husbands or wives these days, compared with the past. If

anything, they are a lot better. It is driven by people's desire for

recognition. They want to be appreciated. They are not prepared to

suffer the drudgery of marriage without reward. A century ago this

would have been unthinkable. You got on with it because the survival

of your family was at stake. Your precious thoughts of wanting

appreciation were inconsequential in the scrabble for plain survival.

Look at advertising on television. Most products are sold on the

basis of raising your self-esteem, not on the benefits of the product.

Most adverts these days have the hidden message 'be somebody.'

So learn to look at your dreams with a critical eye. Ask yourself

what the underlying need is behind the dream and then ask yourself if

this is the only way you can achieve it. Don't get fixated on the actual

method or strategy of getting the need met; often there are many

different ways of achieving satisfaction. First work out what the

actual need is, and then plan the simplest, most realistic strategy for

meeting it.

Many people struggle throughout their lives to make big money

only to find that when they have got it, they still feel hollow and

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empty. This is because the money was just a symbol for the

underlying need - which still hasn't been met. A classic case would be

a woman who sacrifices everything to reach the top of her profession

and make a lot of money, only to realise that she has spent twenty

years trying to gain her father's approval and love and this was the

way she thought she could get it! What a hard route - and it didn't

work! If only she had recognised the underlying need (for approval

and love) and considered some alternative strategies, any one of

which could have been far easier than the struggle she put herself

through.

How To Discover Your Dream

I would like to recommend an excellent book which will help you

to discover your hidden dreams - those you have locked away since

childhood and dismissed as 'impractical.'

The book is called "I Could Do Anything if Only I Knew What it

Was" by Barbara Sher. Isn't that a great title? It is published by Dell

Trade (nothing to do with the computer company) and the ISBN

number is 0-440-50500-3.

This book seems to come in and out of print, so you might need to

find a second-hand copy. She has written several similar books, all of

which are worth reading. My copy came from Waterstones priced

£7.99.

As the title suggests , "I Could Do Anything" is a book about life-

planning. I have read several books on this subject over the years, and

to be honest, most are a bit of a yawn. Although they contain a few

nuggets of useful information, and the odd pointer to a better, brighter

life, they are usually dull and uninspiring. They also tend to contain

tedious exercises such as this:

"Take a sheet of A4 paper, and down the left-hand side list 37

emotions ranging from apathy to anger. Now down the right-hand

side of the paper, write about 37 episodes in your life when you were

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feeling each of these emotions. Recall your experience in vivid detail.

Remember what you were doing and who you were with."

Sure...right... I'll do that when I've got the odd spare week and the

attic doesn't need clearing out or the drains degreasing... In contrast,

Barbara's book contains only a handful of exercises, all of which are

quick and easy to do.

There is one exercise, which I will share with you in this chapter,

which is quite simply the most powerful life planning exercise I have

ever come across. Completing this exercise will cause a profound

change in your life, and will give you an amazing insight into exactly

what you should be doing. This probably is not what you are doing

now.

But first, let me pause for a moment and say something which is,

admittedly, not very cheerful.

I believe that most people are suffering from low level depression.

Take a look around you. How many people do you know who are

genuinely happy and fulfilled? Don't get me wrong, I am not saying

that most people are terminally depressed or suicidal. People get by.

They cope. Life jogs on. But I think you will agree that few people

are motivated, passionate and happy.

Statistics back up what I am saying. Over five million people in the

UK take antidepressants daily in order to cope. That's a stunning

figure.

So what is the cause of all this unhappiness? Surely not money.

The rich and poor alike queue at the prescription counter of the local

chemist. I can tell you as a straight fact that money does not guarantee

happiness. Money merely gives you choices.

Let me tell you what I think is one of the largest contributory

causes. It is the fact that people are not following their own personal

dream. Worse, most people do not have the faintest inkling of what

that dream might be, or even that such a dream might exist. Like so

many rusty, disused railway wagons they were shunted off the main

line many years ago and now find themselves standing in some

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remote siding, far away from the clear, straight lines used by express

trains, and with innumerable points and crossovers lying between

them and their intended track.

Let's face facts, most people are living somebody else's life, not

their own. The shunting operations started early, usually at school.

Most schools have a slick statement in their brochure which

goes something like this: "We at xyz school believe that each

child is an individual. We believe in nurturing that precious

individuality so that the child may fully express their own