GETTING INTO DETAIL
Even if you are aware of your own abilities, there are times when you will need to be driven to build you into the level of confidence which will usher you into achieving your goal setting. This drive is what I call motivation.
You can either motivate yourself or be motivated by someone when they speak with you or by looking at their successes or by just something you see.
Put your mind in the correct gear by training yourself to always talk and think positive. Do not allow negative thoughts to fill your mind. Clear all those negative energy drainers before they completely weaken and reduce your capabilities and strengths.
Build your relationships and networks with the people who matter, those people you value the most in your life, always be around them, imitate them and share your positive energies. Being surrounded by people who are colourful is a strong motivation that will build your zeal to be like them and meet their standards.
Action brings result. Learn to take every situation to your advantage by learning about all its weak and strong points and use them as opportunities to start doing something. Do not wait for an opportunity to strike or present itself but create them for yourself. No one will ever create the best opportunity for you. If there could be anyone capable of presenting the best opportunity to you, that person is you and only you can do it.
Sometimes the best way of getting motivated when you feel like the whole world is on top of you, is to act like it. Within a few minutes of you acting like it you will begin to feel motivated. Action builds positive energy that will colour your feelings and emotions and you will begin to feel motivated. So fake it until you make it.
Everyone have their own shortcomings, no one is always perfect. Always speak positive about yourself. Tell yourself that you are so special.
You can easily ease your day when you start it by tackling the toughest tasks first. This will ease your work in the day, and you will work with more confidence and strength.
This will kill and numb your motivation. Focus on yourself, on your own successes, learn to mind your own business. Focus on how to overcome your limitations and how to successfully and continually improve on them. Look back on your successes and achievements, look at your progress step by step. Your own successes will motivate you better because they reflect your own potential and abilities.
Failure is a success booster, it gives you the ability to tackle situations in a more intelligent way having been exposed to how things operate upon being differently handled. So do not fear to fail for without failure you will hardly succeed. Most lessons are learnt through trials and error, through your own failures. Failure enables you to perfect your ways to be much more better that before. So if you don’t want to fail, then who do you want to fail for you in order to perfect your own ways? Fail yourself, learn the lesson, and the next time you face similar situations you will be in a position to handle them in a better and in a more intelligent way.
Research more information on how to improve your abilities and achieve your goals. If you the required knowledge you will handle challenges and problems better. There are a lot of resources to learn from, the internet, friends, and books etc. Building knowledge will boost the level of your confidence.
Write down in a journal or diary all your tasks, goals and the reasons why you are pursuing them, this will make you to remember why you began in the first place and build your motivation, and improve your self-confidence.
I recommend you get yourself a partner who will stand with you and motivate you when situations go astray.
Read books, quotes and get new ideas and be in action. This will build your motivation.
Learn how to break a problem into smaller parts. Tackling these smaller parts or problems may be the key or a smarter way to handling and dissolving the bigger problem. Write your problems and their solutions down always for cross referencing.
Do something small for a few minutes every day and by week ending or month ending you will find yourself working on your tasks for a few hours. Your motivation will build with time until you are in a position to do more. Align yourself with the rule of doing one thing at a time. Manage your to do list no matter how big your list is. Always tackle one goal at a time, finishing a goal before starting to work on another will motivate you to move forward.
Play a game, do an exercise, you will notice that when you return to your tasks, you will be free, motivated, not exhausted and you will always stay excited.
If you are not sure about where to start when you feel like doing something, the golden rule is to start anywhere as long as it is possible. Starting something is better than never. If the size of your task is big then break it down into simpler parts that are easily to start and finish. Read books and seek knowledge about problem solving and you will gain extensive knowhow on various ways to break your problems into smaller problems that are easy to tackle.
Know your colour code. Choose colours that affect or go along with your mood.
Act on your thoughts before letting them out. Do not say something that you will regret later. Chew your thoughts first before you present them to anyone. Take full responsibility of your actions and be in a position to clean your messes.
This is a subconscious level type of talking. It is an ongoing internal conversation which is not being monitored.
Whatever you think or say affects the way you feel about yourself. What are those situations that you are interpreting and how are you interpreting them? What is your inner voice saying? Our self-talk can either be negative (destructive) or positive (constructive).
Negative self-talk is defeating, focused on your failures, problems and discouraging us to take a leap into life changing opportunities.
Are you constantly telling yourself that you are a failure, you are nothing, your buss will be involved in an accident, you will never make money, you can’t be happy, everything surrounding you is terrible and you are ugly?
What are you thinking about? Learn to control your thoughts. Take full control over your inner voice. A negative inner voice will destruct your self-confidence. A negative self-talk will make you doubt your abilities, and strengths and begin to question yourself with questions that will further destruct your confidence.
Empower yourself with a positive self-talk. Program your inner voice to say what you want and that you shall become. A positive inner voice is self-encouraging, giving you the zeal and will that will enhance your potential.
Your inner voice is an automatic, subconsciously constant and habituated inner voice that affects our inner dialogue either in a negative or positive way both mirrored in our feeling and emotions we produce.
If you feel positive about yourself, success is yours. Those who feel negative about who they are, they remain at ground level and will never fly to greater heights.
A thought can be changed, so replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts and use goal oriented thinking.
Are you used to speaking negative of yourself? Learn and make it a habit to speak encouraging and positive words about yourself. Express positive thoughts about yourself and your own abilities. Constantly remind yourself with a positive inner voice that: ‘I am a conqueror; I am able; I will succeed, I’m beautiful, I’m loved.’ Look for positive things about yourself, acknowledge them, and build on them.
Gratitude is the medicine to obtaining a continuous and positive self-talk. There are people who give you something, for example food, money, shelter, a job etc. Be thankful for the little things you receive and above all be thankful for who you are.
Self-acceptance – Appreciate and accept yourself for who you are. Do not compare yourself with someone else other than you because you will begin to question your true abilities against theirs for incompetence. Acknowledge yourself. Remember God created you purposed therefore always know that you have something big awaiting you. Speak to yourself and say: ‘I am good, all is well, everything will align to my plans, etc.’
Do not allow past memories to replay themselves in your head. Live in the present. The world needs you today, so be in the best mood to colour your day always. Your presence today is a gift to all. Focus on your day.
Unconditional self-love. Everyone is unique in their own way. Celebrate your uniqueness. Do not long to be someone, just be yourself and love your real personality.
Recognise these things and accept them because they define who you are, your originality. You can ask someone to write down what they think is positive about you. This will help you see and accept what other good things people see in you.
Adopting a positive self-talk as a habit will help you boost your confidence till it reaches a 4 any level type of confidence that you desire, the type of confidence that will take you to your successes and to living a fulfilled life. Positive self-talk makes you feel better about your life. One characteristic of successful people is that in their minds they constantly and continuously think that they are successful. They envision themselves at greater heights and so they become.
Do you know what you really want in life? Things in your path will begin to change and align themselves once you begin to know yourself much better and deeper. Who are you really? A positive mental attitude is focused on the positive side that produces results. A positive mental attitude is a winning attitude, it is focused, result and goal oriented. Without this kind of attitude you will hardly gain confidence in all you do.
Self-confidence is cultivated through adopting a positive and winning mental attitude. Positive thinking brings birth to happiness and success. A positive mental attitude creates happy feelings, moods and positive behaviour.
Without a positive and a winning mental attitude you will hardly cope with the affairs of life. A winning attitude is optimistic and carries not a single burden about life worries. A winning attitude is expectant, enthusiastic, enabling you to handle matters of life without difficulty. As a man thinketh – your character depends on your thoughts.
You have to choose positively as in eliminating negative thoughts, substituting them with positive, constructive, and creative thoughts that brings about the attractive energy to accomplish goals. You can choose to pull your focus on what works best for you, choose to look for or create opportunities for yourself.
People always have something negative to say, saying things that will destruct your focus. Find it in your heart to ignore these negative energies that are directed towards limiting your potential. Within them find the suitable reasons to smile. Smiling will change your energy which will in turn affect your moods.
Use a more positive vocabulary. A positive language is attractive. A language of confidence. Sentences that shows that you know what you are saying. A conversation that demonstrates total control.
The world is filled with positive and negative energies that come in various forms. Negatives are there, so whenever an unexpected turn surfaces your way accept it, as this will help you take full control over the situation. Control your feelings and avoid hanging on your negative emotions because following your negative feelings and emotions will drain your positive energy.
The web is full of tutorials and short courses. You can make up a few savings and advance yourself. This will fill your mind with positive, creative, and goal directed energy that will boost your personal image, your self-confidence.
Why let other people manipulate you to being something that you did not initially dream to become? Focus on what you want. Focus on your actions, thoughts and personal behaviour. You are responsible for your own life, shape it to your own needs. You are your own steward.
Look deep into your life and what you have already achieved. Be totally cool with who you are and with what you already have. Learn to always be yourself. Tell yourself that you are worthy to be loved, to be happy. Always positively complement yourself. This will boost your confidence.
Fill your whole mind with positive thoughts, telling your inner self that your existence is important, you were not created to be a laughing subject or topic by others. Believe that you are more than enough.
Staying and spending some valuable time around creative goal oriented people will boost your positive energy and change your thinking to be aligned with theirs.
Read self-help books, inspirational quotes in order to stay inspired. Positive inspiration brings birth to life in your creativity and builds a strong mental attitude that lasts.
With a positive mental attitude, you can achieve success and overcome any obstacles that come your way. You cannot build self-confidence without building a positive mental attitude. You have to build a winning attitude to attain a rock solid 4 any level type of confidence.
What is it that you really want? You will never achieve a 4 any level confidence as long as you do not know what you want. So do you know what you want?
You will never know what you really want because you have a lot of things that you want right now. Some of these things are important whilst some are nuisance.
As people we probably have a lot of things that we want in life:
The list is endless
The secret when it comes to what you want in life is not listening to people telling you what you want. There is a point you need to reach to knowing what you really want, a time you have to learn to follow what your heart says to you. It’s wise to write down a list of all the things you want to achieve, then you can easily eliminate those few things that are less important to you. This will make you have an idea of what exactly do you really want.
It is also wise to realise that what we want does not always come to pass, we at most usually obtain what we need. That’s the difference between needs and wants. Wants are pleasures whilst needs are those things that we cannot live without.
Live in the present. Not knowing what you want destroys your self-image.
“Passion has the power to transform your life, when you discover your deepest passions, you connect with the essence of who you are. Living life aligned with your passions, your personal destiny unfolds naturally and effortlessly” – unknown
You passions are connected with your inner being, bringing you happiness and fulfilment. Passions are very powerful and we can unleash these passions by doing simple things that we love. Passion is what fuels our intentions, giving us a clear view of what we want to bring into life.
Passions give you the inspiration you need to succeed and will keep you focused on achieving your dreams and living a fulfilled life. Your passions involves your gifts, talents and those things that you love doing.
A lot of people have missed on their opportunities because they did not tap into their passions. Following your passions allows you to step into and live a more complete life that is full of joy and bliss. Reconnect with your passions and rediscover how your life should have been like.
Follow your passions by doing what you love.
As you answer these above questions, they will help you to rediscover and unleash that which fuels your intensions, reconnecting you with the true essence of who you really are, your true self. Your passions are a true reflection of who you really are. Following you passions will naturally unfold your self-confidence.
Gaining true confidence in the way you handle your daily conversations will enable you to appear as a powerful communicator and thus will enhance your networking abilities and gain you respect and trust.
When you are filed with fear you cannot start a conversation. You are filled with the fear of saying the wrong thing, the fear of not being listened to. Building great conversation skills will help you build strong relationships, bonds and lasting partnerships.
The fear to start a rock solid conversations often results from past negative experiences that have made you feel ‘worthless and unimportant’. These feelings have built up over the years through childhood experiences and friendships usually due to loss, failure and the challenges that you came across.
Giving voice to dominate our fears is the secret to breaking those bondages that hold us captive without achieving our aims, dreams, goals and desires.
Plan ahead and prepare by rehearsing your thoughts, thinking about what you are going to say. Take your time and you can even write down your points arranging them in the order that you want your conversation to go.
No matter to whom you are talking to, act like it’s your friend. Be relaxed and keep more eye contact.
The use of cognitive and strong body language (we will talk about this subject later) and a few follow up words is needed to show your interest.
Whilst you are listening, avoid planning your next statement otherwise this will destruct your focus.
Avoid looking nervous, relax and smile, be sociable. People love those who smile and they easily bond with them. Smiles make people feel free and comfortable around you. Do not grin.
Questions show interest and you can easily start by asking them about themselves. Questions make an open conversation stretch longer, they keep the conversation going.
Practice expressing yourself in words by painting clear images about the subject in the minds of your audience. Practice makes perfect. Communicate your opinions, feelings and emotions in words.
Know and always be packed with some stories that will help you kick start your conversation. Funny stories from past experiences, past vocational holiday, fiction and fairy tales. Do not divert your focus off topic, use stories that help and go along, hand in hand with the conversation.
A lack of eye contact shows lack of interest. In every conversation it’s so essential and very important to keep eye contact, keeping focus on whom you are conversing with. Eye contact indicates acknowledgement and acceptance of the subject.
Your body language (non-verbal communication), what is it saying. Body language is important in keeping conversations going. Action speaks louder than words. You can also show your feelings verbally for example: in a happy mood, you can say – wow; something bad – oh no! In sympathy – sorry; in death – my condolences.
Be clear and direct on what you are saying. Do not keep on repeating the same thing over and over again otherwise the other person will lose interest or will end up getting confused. Get straight to the point.
Keep up to date with current affairs and any time in a conversation spice it up.
Conversations without humour builds tension. You can avoid tension by kidding a little. Do you have something funny to say, say it. Be natural, filled with jokes and quotes.
Some people talk fast whilst others prefer slow conversations that allows words to flow through naturally and thoughtfully. Avoid saying what comes first into your head. Take your time to self-edit your thoughts before you lay them out to someone.
Acquiring good conversation skills are an essential tool of building rock solid confidence.
Are you capable of making your body convey positive messages about yourself? What energies are you producing through your posture and body movements? What messages are you communicating when you walk? How do you look?
Practicing killer body language will help you boost yourself confidence making you feel great about who you are. When you convey a positive and strong body language you will unlock closed doors that will bring you to your successes.
Imagine that you are stepping into an interview room, the interviewer begins to gather information about what your body is saying way before thy even ask you the first question. Your poses and posture conveys a language which people are capable of reading.
Your body language reflects your level of confidence, your mood for the day.
Maintain a positive eye contact at social interactions. Eye contact indicates comfort, acceptance, willingness and interest. Look in the other person’s eye 60% of the time. In your mind pretend to be studying his or her eyes e.g. for eye colour.
Keep your eyes forward. Whenever you are walking avoid looking down at your steps, always look forward. Not looking forward conveys a negative message that you do not want to interact with others. Avoid the habit of always looking down. Walk with your head up.
Smiles indicate trustworthiness and approachability. When you smile at someone, there are high chances that they will smile back. Confident people are seen through the way they smile, they have nothing to worry about.
Keep your hands off your pockets. Keeping your hands inside your pockets is a sign of being uncomfortable. Put your hands on your hips. Shoving your hands on your pockets makes you look nervous and less confident.
Taking wider steps reduce anxiety. Wide steps show authority. Standing with your feet closer together makes you seem hesitant and unsure. Get used to large steps that are solid and relaxed.
Power poses relieve stress, they convey messages of dominance and power for example wide stance, standing with hands wide open.
During conversations leaning forward shows great interest and attention (how attentive you are).
Avoid neck and facial hand movements during conversations. This makes you look anxious, afraid, nervous and unsure of what you are saying. Action speaks louder than words. Use open gestures (show persuasiveness) that will bring clarity to whatever you are saying. Avoid too much or overuse of hand movements.
Fidgeting is done by those without confidence in themselves. Confident people do not fidget. Confident people keep their minds still because they are not worried of anything. Always keep steady. Fidgeting shows anxiety, worry, lack of confidence and nervousness. Fidgeting reduce your audience’s focus and destroys their attentiveness.
Weak handshakes shows lack of confidence. Practice strong. Perfect, powerful, firm handshakes that will increase your credibility.
Bath yourself well, dress for success, shave, make a nice haircut and always look perfect.
People with higher pitched voices are less empathetic, less powerful and more nervous.
Building a solid and a positive body language boosts your confidence of meeting anyone anywhere anytime increasing your chances of getting opportunities – the key to success.
Shyness is a barrier, the one thing that holds you back from meeting your destiny, goals, people and opportunities. Shy people have a very poor level of self-confidence which keeps them from moving forward.
Shyness will make you look negative upon yourself, it makes you pay attention to the wrong things you do around others. Shy people are afraid to talk, meet to new people and make friendships. Shy people cannot speak publicly, they often worry that other people are often thinking about them. They have high fear of incapability and doubt their abilities around others, always comparing themselves to others. They judge themselves negatively.
Shy people are hesitant and non-talkative in social situations, they feel like someone is watching their moves and monitoring what they are saying. They are oversensitive to rejections.
Understand your shyness. Do you focus too much on yourself? Do people tell you that you are shy? Is it because of a negative inner-voice? What triggers your shyness? Is it around strangers?
Learn a way on how to handle your insecure thoughts. Look at a section on how to overcome a negative inner voice and how to cultivate a winning mental attitude.
Explore yourself more especially on those very situations that make you shy until you get used to them. Learn to be effective in those situations.
Develop better social skills. This will help you handle conversations and social relations with ease.
Stop labelling yourself negatively. Talk positive about yourself and stop comparing yourself to others.
Accept rejection and learn not to take it personally. Learn effective ways on how to handle rejections.
When you are in social meetings with others, stop focusing on yourself, turn your attention and focus on what others are saying. Be eager to learn and understand them.
Exercise to release anxiety. This will get you a refreshed state of mind.
Why do you need to do what someone else is doing? Find that which is comfortable for you. Find and do those things that bring the best out of you.
Practice strong body language. Adopting a good posture makes you feel confident.
Set goals for yourself and strive to accomplish them.
Learn to introduce yourself to someone new frequently.
Create a success log where you will look and trace your achievements. Looking at your progress is a great way to motivate yourself. This will keep you strengthened and moving forward.
Creative imagination is the doorway to living a life that is full of infinite possibilities, exciting potential in the unseen realms of creation. Everyone is creative and creativity has to be like a field to produce beautiful crops, cultivated and natured.
We hold the power to visualise various ideas in our precious minds and bring them