L
Learn to like our planet…
and its people.
Part 1: Our planet…
Singles I spoke to about happiness, show a connection to the planet by "going green" and seem to achieve slightly more happiness than others who don't because a small portion of their instincts for social intimacy and grouping are met by this connection to earth. It sounds is weird, I know, but it works. This connection is fairly new for western societies, but it has been around a long time in many cultures.
Many cultures, not just the ancient ones, have an intimate connection to the earth because the lives of their people and their culture depend on the land. It is both a spiritual expression and a logical one. Take a walk in a natural sort of place to know what this really means.
Imagine you had to eat the stuff you see growing around you just to stay alive. Imagine you had to feed a family on it too. For most people, caring for the planet is not like believing that the whole earth (from the trees in green valleys to the waves at the edge of the sea) has some unseen spirit or consciousness. What happy singles feel about the earth is a connection to future generations in a profound way. This connection is not limited to singles. People who "go green" feel they are true benefactors and it helps them manage some behaviors and choices for the consumption of goods and services. This has some meaning for them.
We all buy stuff. This is the basis of much of the economic activity on the planet. When you buy a thing, it tells something about who you are and a little bit about whom you wish to be. Why is this important for singles to know about? It has to do with the smack-down between two theories about how industrial societies evolve.
These two ideas could affect the way you think about your life on this planet in a small way. This book is not a treatise on economics and the two theories are only loosely defined to meet my objectives.
The first one, written by Karl Marx in 1812, spawned a rash of social revolutions that created hate, famine, and death on an unimaginable scale for millions of people. This continues today. This theory despised the rich as people who spend their time devising ways to keep poor folks poor. Communist theory holds societies, cultures and economies in a neutral state and advancement is nearly impossible unless their citizens face the points of shiny bayonets and stare into the dark little holes at the end of guns.
Communism fails every time because it goes against the human instincts to group freely and feel safe. My guess is that the human need for grouping and feeling safe is the root of its failure. No one in a communist state or dictatorship feels really secure. My opinion is that communist philosophies try to subvert human needs for safety and independence, subvert the human instincts to create new families and therefore these states eventually fail.
The other one, by an obscure Norwegian- American economist and sociologist, Thorstien Veblen, was written roughly eighty years later. Veblen wrote that humans will naturally evolve to not despise the rich ever so much as to murder them as Marxists have done, but rather always strive to move up and join the rich or Leisure Class.
Maybe Veblen's theories explain why some former communist countries today are rapidly transforming into wealthier, more consumer driven economies peacefully, maybe not. I subscribe to the simple notion that when one has the freedom to work, scheme and plot to build wealth, it keeps them happy and it keeps them out of politics and statecraft (unless that freedom is threatened).
Veblen's other famous theory, the theory of "conspicuous consumption" (an aggressive and wasteful display of wealth), pegged all upper class people as not caring about anything, but showing off just how much money they have in their pockets as a way of marking their territory, (like how coyotes, dogs, lions or other beasts tend to do with their urine) with flashy junk that tells everyone who is around.
In my view, our society has created a wealthy class and working, upper class that gives, gives, gives, gives away its wealth to support life and positive changes for the planet and its people in huge amounts. True, some greedy rich folks still spend much of their day marking the land with flashy-stinking junk (as way to display their aggressiveness) that demonstrates their ability to suck all the money they can out of their circumstances.
The mere idea that some wealthy people of conscience give money away to help humanity and pursue very planetfriendly consumption of goods and services in our modern world would puzzle both Marx and Veblen.
The point of all this is: understand why "being green" can make you a happier single and why the pursuit of personal wealth is good for your health and happiness. Marxism not really option. Be clever enough to recognize and understand the implications of Veblen's notion of conspicuous consumption.
So, friend while your happiness is the goal of this book, be sure your happiness keeps the earth safe for the rest of us and our children. Make a living doing something that can benefit others some how and does not make you penniless.
You are no good to the planet or its people if you are broke (trust me).
Save your money and try not to buy stuff that ultimately sits in a big pile (after you are long gone) with other peoples junk and stinks up the joint for a thousand years. No one wants that.
Tonight write something about a part of the natural world that you like best. Write how you would feel if that place was damaged or changed in a way so that you could no longer enjoy it.
Write about any purchase you made that made you feel super cool in the eyes of other people. How long did that feeling last?
If you don't have that special something anymore where is it?
NOTES
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Part 2: It's people
Now that the weight of creating romance is gone for a time and you have outlined some purpose for your life, other than conspicuous consumption, think about accepting humans the way they are. Try to like them and hope the best for them. Maybe you can get to know people that are different from you and try to understand something about their point of view.
All the happiest singles I met talked about this concept of exploring the differences between the wants and desires of different sorts of people. Most of all, you cannot judge them if they offend you and you cannot wish bad things for them or else you run the risk of bigotry, hatred and intolerance. These are the three horsemen of unhappiness.
These three things make living harder than it should be and are the beginning of the darkest moments in human history. It is the darker side of human nature, I think, to be afraid of things and people that you don't understand. This is the most primitive fear we have as human beings.
Fear triggers unhappiness and bad other things too. If you ever watch television shows about how groups of animals will defend their territories, we are not much different from beasts here. Take a ride with this primal fear, travel with one of the horsemen of unhappiness, and you will not be as satisfied with life as those who make foot prints on the path of humanity.
The power of love in each human is the only thing that can solve human problems.
Whether you dislike someone because of their brand of politics, religion or culture the one thing that is certain is your point of view is not absolute. Because of this fact, you must treat people with respect at all times, but you should know this already.
This is not an emotional argument. It is logical. If you want to be happy, recognize the things that offend you are an opportunity to challenge your instincts and emotions and go follow logic. Once you decide it is more logical for your happiness to like people whenever possible, love (page 47)will show you the way from there.
As my father always told me:
The meanest, most hateful word you should ever say to someone is 'Goodbye.'
I believe this kind of thought, this concept or sentiment alone, not tools, technology or the ideas about higher beings or souls or whatever, that separates humans from all the regular animals, fish and crawly things that roam around the earth. For singles, the simple idea that it is good for you to like people who are different from you comes out of letter prompt F. Remember it? This is not to say that you embrace people who are mean to you, cause harm to you or others. Those are problems you cannot fix. Just walk away.
If you want to make the world a better place, do not try to change those folks you do not like. Don’t try save the ones you do like without some kind of organization structure or charity to back you up. This kind of ‘savior’ thing does not usually end well.
Feed your need to group and save the world by finding a suitable group of folks with similar goals. Feed your need to group without the notions of romance until you have at least completed this book.
Remember that nobody is perfect and no one is immune from failures on this subject.
NOTES
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