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New people are fun.
The single folk in coffee shops, bars, and night clubs go there for non-physical intimacy and to satisfy grouping instincts. In some cases, they seek physical intimacy as well. True, some are addicted to caffeine or alcohol or both, but largely they seek to group because they must. These places are good to observe the human grouping instincts in action and observe the people getting their daily dose of safety. Get your cool sunglasses on and go forth to watch people group. You should only observe people in the first thirty days. Keep to yourself.
After completing your study, you may see these folks again. Be open to them and you will be rewarded with some very pleasant interaction. Remember your lines and watch for signs of nervousness in them.
Their nervousness stems from the fact that they are conflicted because their internal instinct to group is mucking up their logical mind. You will automatically be relaxed when you see it. You know what is happening to them. You are studying it yourself.
Have a conversation or two, but don't let them in on your secret. Remember they are on autopilot, like a laser-guided missile, cruising that place for platonic, non-romantic intimacy. They are seeking solace and safety, though they will try to deny it.
Listen first and then keep it short. Remember your forward story. Your interest in creating a better world for all of us should not be apparent right away. Be low-key and cool and be yourself.
If you get very nervous or run away from a person who is open to intimacy with you, you may have a fear of Miss Social Intimacy. If you think you are afraid of someone getting to know the real you, mark this page and come back after you have invested a bit in what it means to conquer this fear. You may not conquer it by yourself, but you should at least understand what this fear does to you. You can judge how to proceed.
Write tonight about a need to group. Think about how many times you have felt lonely, and cured that feeling by going to a crowded place.
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