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Turn on your dating radar
I found people of all ages view dating in three ways: dating for physical intimacy, social dating or those that are seeking a life-time partner. From your study you know we humans are wired for different types of intimacy.
I use the term social dating, because a long-term romance may not be a part of your purpose just now. If you use the term social dating, your dates will be more focused on friendship than a "hook-up" or to invest in a long-term romance.
The obvious point here is to make sure you and a date have the same goal. This ability, this radar, to find a person that meets your needs is another skill of Singleship.
The gaps between these types of dating are the biggest challenges single people face. There has not been a good pretext to determine which kind of date a person seeks.
Yes, it sounds about as romantic as setting up your new DVD player, but the Challenge of Singleship is like a new set of directions for an old stereo.
If you want to have a simple social date, just learn to have some fun. The idea that you want to "keep it real," or tell the truth, usually means you just want to vent. This is part of your back-story. Be genuine, but remember to practice the Singleship skills: no back stories please.
You can complain to a new person you meet, if you want to, about my book, about politics, the weather or that your coffee is too weak or whatever, but you will find yourself alone and losing the opportunity to share a relaxed conversation. Remember to:
1. Understand Prompt C and relax.
2. No more past sob stories, please.
3. Learn to listen to others.
4. Date socially: non-physical intimacy.
5. Use the phrase from letter O.
One important tip (for a first date) that I have learned from happy singles that just date socially is to find something to disagree about and talk about it.
This is good practice for getting your feelings about certain issues under control as well. Resolve to be nice to your date and to treat them well, even though you may disagree about something. Don't be a fake about it.
Tonight write two positive things to say if you meet someone. Why is important to be polite to your dates even though they are not the "One."
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