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Unhappiness = negative intimacy
Why would a couple argue or fight all the time? It is a very intimate thing to do. Everyone knows couples like this. I have read that anger releases a rush of chemicals that people sometimes learn to crave in a way that is not good for them. It can satisfy their grouping and intimacy needs the way crack cocaine makes a junkie high and scotch makes an alcoholic feel better. Anger is a very complex addiction, in my view.
The power intimacy has over people makes them start these bad pairings. These dating relationships are doomed from the start. When it becomes an integral piece of the bond a couple shares, it seems to actually force people to create negative situations to feel that bond they have with their mate.
Negative intimacy is often learned in childhood. If you have the opportunity to ask a parent about their own childhood, you may discover some clues about current state of affairs.
This intimacy is so strong that people I met have a hard time shaking their reliance on it. If many of your parings in the past produce a consistent string of anger and meaningless arguments, you or your mate might be addicted to these chemicals, seek professional help to break this relationship pattern. Yes my friend, anger is a big rush. And like any rush from any chemical, it messes up your head and can be addictive.
Any romantic partners you date along the way should understand your Singleship status, your desire to date socially, and the perils of negative intimacy. It is only fair that they know how important your happiness is to you while you are dating them.
Tonight write a short break-up letter to tell an old boy/girl friend about your new status of Singleship. Will they accept your new relationship status? (keep it to yourself)
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