Z
Going back to Zero
If you have found someone and dated them in the spirit of Singleship, congratulations! Most often the romance goes pretty well until this person reveals that they may not be the right one to date in Singleship. They must have shown you, in some way, that they were not exactly your cup of tea. When you feel this way, do not think of it as a failure.
It happens to everyone. Every situation is different and most singles noted that the decision to end a romantic experience with a date was a gut-level, heart-felt decision. It may take a week or so to decide whether or not to end a relationship. In Singleship you have to make yourself happy first and not rely on dating someone to be happy. Stay friends if you are able to do so.
Once you make the decision to break up, tell the person:
1. You are going to break it off in one week.
2. You would like to see them in that week.
3. Two positive things about them.
You may have to go back to square one, especially if this person was a very strong romantic partner. After the break up, start with the zero point of happiness again: your purpose. Take a long shower and symbolically wash away the experience. Get a fresh, new notebook and go back to the first month's activities. You are starting the Singleship plan again.
This could happen to you several times in your life, but it should not occur more than a few times per year. You may meet someone new every few months, but this will probably not be the scenario for you. The folks I met had an average dating cycle from one to three years.
Use the relationship as a learning experience and when you start over again you will be ready with the plan to meet the challenge. The ABCs are here to help you get past it. Your notebook will fill up much faster than before and each time you go through it, you will begin a new Singleship Plan.
The romantic relationships you choose to create and enjoy in the spirit of Singleship you should also choose to end in that same spirit. If a date makes you sad or angry enough to want to end the relationship because of something they did or said, make sure you end it with some class in a public place. You should wish the best for them.
Make sure to tell your date that you need to be happy and the relationship is not making you very happy. Good communication at the end of a relationship will help you avoid problems later. Your last words to them should be positive ones.
Read your notebook from end to end and look for changes in your thinking. If you have changed your mind about some of the stuff in those old notes, cross it out and write new stuff. Write down the new stuff now.
NOTES
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Think about your writings over the last month. If you were to one day write a story about your life, would it be a thriller, love story, comedy or what exactly? Could you write a new, happier ending for your story after going through this book?
Because you are unique, write your own quote about Singleship or anything else you like that comes from your writings. Make it fit in the box below.
