Always, always choose your own happiness first.
The nightly routine of thinking and journaling at bedtime will enable you to seek out your own special version of happiness. This new knowledge is gained not by the wisdom contained in the book or the famous quotes. It is acquired from your answers alone.
As you slowly build up knowledge of self and your new understanding of who you really want to be in the future, your thoughts will change into actions. It can transform you into that person you met on your first little walk. Remember that you need to be single and mostly alone, for now, to get the highest benefit from studying Singleship.
Stay home, save your money.
This first month is about you and learning about becoming a single person again. It's you, just you, and nobody else, but you. This book and your heart should be your new companions during your study. You are not learning to live alone.
Next month, you must get out and be with people to manage your instinct to group with others. This is a requirement for Singleship, but you will not think about these experiences in the same way.
If you have experienced the loss of a partner through their death, understand this: your last mate would want you to be happy someday. If no one has told you about them, there are many books about coping with grief and loss so make sure you have a good grasp of the grief process before starting this book. You should be mostly through that process before you begin to study Singleship.
With your study you must get some exercise because it gives you time to think about what makes you happy and it will give you focus (consult your doctor first before starting an exercise program). When you move your body you relax your mind and eliminate stress.
You are not thinking about the exercise itself (only 20 minutes a day three or four times a week), but rather about relaxing your mind from the common cares of the day. You are also thinking about what makes you happy.
Walking will be the best option for the first week because it is easy and is the most relaxing exercise available to you. Complex exercise movements take the focus away from your thinking and learning about Singleship. Leave the music player at home and just think for a bit about your story.
Again, I am not a professional in any field, but here is what I think about beginning a new goal, like Singleship.
The purpose of simple exercises like walking is to help you investigate, in short periods of solitude, that new and empty space.
It soon will feel different and a bit less empty. Everyone has this space to explore when their lives change. It is where dreams, through patience and hard work, become reality.
Those who complete a great big goal or overcome difficult circumstances in life all know this place well. When you take your walk, contemplate this place. It the place was a where your current circumstances meet you new goals and desires. The dialogue you create with yourself as you walk and then answer the questions each night will build a bridge that connects the 'what is now' with the 'what should be.'
A little bit of exercise releases a whole range of good chemicals that you need to be happy too. Rigorous exercise may become a great challenge or goal of single people. For now, is just for relaxation.
Before your daily walk, take inventory of your relationships, assets, clothes, desires, books you like, etc. You will write these in your book or journal. Do this whenever you can (during lunch or a coffee break). Enjoy yourself as much as you can. Don’t think about how or what could make you happy, only what makes you happy right now. You won't need to tell anyone about your study. Find a mirror now. Tell the person you see in it that you want to get to know them just a little better .
One of the things I really enjoy is puttering around in my garage while listening to a football or baseball game on the radio. It's relaxing for me. You will no doubt have similar kinds of simple things that make you happy too. Write these things down just before bedtime and then plan sometime each week to do them.
Finish writing down the things that make you happy. Take a good inventory of the good things in your life now. Try to get down as much as you can: a sweater, cheesecake, a song, a memory, a pet.
Write about a time when you remember feeling all alone in a big world. Relax and don't worry about love and romance for now. Prepare for your daily walks. Do not explore any of the great “WHYs.” You left those behind for now.
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