Why is it that there is a school on nearly every subject in the encyclopedia yet very, very little is taught about pleasure?!
Women have been taught for centuries to run away from the very thing that turns us on and lights our powerhouse, pleasure. It’s dirty, shameful for a woman to take pleasure and to pleasure herself however, therein lays the secret to everything you desire!
I once knew a woman who was divorcing after many years of marriage and was putting herself out on the dating scene. She was becoming intimate with one guy in particular and he told her that he pleasured himself every day. She could not believe it! She thought it was insulting because she was saving all her juju for him! I told her - stop it, start pleasuring yourself, don’t wait for someone or some condition out there to be the cause of your happiness and pleasure - create it for yourself and watch all of the opportunities fall at your feet! By making yourself happy it turns you into a magnet for success, opportunities, love, new relationships, raises, better jobs, you name it! Wow a woman who has fun and puts her pleasure and happiness a priority is a very, very attractive woman indeed!
I had a client once named Marina, who was an absolute knockout bombshell. She still is gorgeous! She was raised with a very different take on beauty and self-love. She used to tell me her mom was a gypsy and her dad an Egyptian. Her mom taught Marina each morning to make adorning herself a ritual.
Take an hour for yourself in the morning before beginning each day to wash and dress in beautiful clothing, adorn yourself with stunning jewels and then start the day. As Marina began telling me the secrets to her charm and sway with men you can bet I was taking notes! Here was a woman who was never without a man and had several men beating a path to her door. Her secret was making beauty and pleasure a priority! Marina is the one who taught me to have a Goddess altar, a place to sit with a mirror, all my fabulous jewelry laid out and to play with eyelashes, makeup and hair, to play and have fun with decorating myself each day and make this ritual a self-love ritual! Try it;; you’ll be happily surprised at all the attention you get from men and women!
There’s one thing I could never understand about interactions between men and women. I pride myself on being independent and smart. Yes, I am 6’2” and if I pop on a pair of heels, I look like Barbie minus a few bra sizes but nonetheless I am very happy with my body and take good care of it. For the life of me, I could not fathom why men would go after women that couldn’t even recall their own address, or what state they lived in when asked. They weren’t able to hold any kind of intelligent conversation about anything other than sit-coms yet; they held the attention of every man in the room with ease.
Their secret? They were having fun! I’m telling you ladies it’s not more complicated than that. A woman who takes her own fun into her hands is an attractive and POWERFUL woman! The key to getting what you want in life is having fun!
I had a client Sara, who hired me to be her business coach. She was a recent first time mom starting to build her virtual assistant business. Sara wanted to make more money and attract more clients but when she came to see me she was totally exhausted, almost burnt out working way too hard and not feeling great about it. I told her what I tell all my clients - stop it! I’m all about simple solutions. I told Sara, “Go and get a massage!” Take time out for yourself and put yourself back in your calendar.
You might be reading this and laughing and snorting but if you’ve ever tried to build a business especially in the beginning there is a lot to learn and it can feel like you’re pedaling up a steep hill not moving anywhere and sweating your behind off. Even if you are not building a business I’m sure you are able to relate to what I’m talking about here. Women are usually the very last on their own list of priorities. Sara made the commitment to take some time out and signed up for a class at the gym to get the baby weight off. Within a few short weeks, she had doubled her income and now she manages a team of virtual assistants while preparing to have her second baby!
Girl you MUST take time for yourself. Fill your own cup before you can fill others or you end up resentful or resenting your family. Don’t wait for someone else to arrange it for you;; don’t wait until you have the time because you will never have the time. You have to take the time because you are worth it! Look at men, they need their alone time. Men completely disengage from the world by watching TV or they retreat into their man cave for a while and then come out.
Women need a Goddess altar or some creative time to play and be a girl, play with textures, with beauty, with sensuality. You must balance out your life and balance out your day to include pleasure! Seriously, schedule it in your calendar like you would for other appointments or you can be sure it won’t be done. Everything is connected. How you value yourself and allow yourself to experience pleasure and enjoy down time says a ton about your ability to receive!
Building a business can be hard work. Some women lose themselves behaving like men in male energy while doing and pushing forward. Then they wonder why they are single and can’t attract a man they want, or they attract feminine men because they are too much in their masculine energy. I had to learn this lesson. Being in my masculine energy was a safe place for me to hide out while using the excuse; I am building my business. As soon as I flipped the switch on fun and began being a woman, inviting men into the world of my feelings, a whole new world of opportunity and fabulous men began showing up in my life.
If you know you have been on a serious pleasure diet, now is the time to turn the tables! No more guilt! It’s time for some major fun! The first thing I recommend is scheduling some pamper time. Maybe it’s getting a massage, getting your nails done, planning a night out with the girls, buying yourself some flowers (I get new flowers each week either from the store or my jungle yard in Hawaii), giving yourself permission to get a new fancy hairdo, spoiling yourself, feeling sexy, taking time to explore fun outfit combinations, putting on some nice music and having a bath. Pleasure yourself. I highly recommend reading a phenomenal book called, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. It is a great book dedicated to helping woman reconnect to the power of their body and mind through pleasure! A fun fab read that is sure to help you flip the switch from frustrated to fabulous because every woman has a goddess diva inside her, just waiting to be turned on!