Have you ever felt angry and bitter because you’ve fallen victim to someone’s manipulative ways again? Having the confidence in yourself to honor your feelings, to respect yourself and the knowledge that your true source and power comes from God - is a fast track out of letting others hoodwink you with their deception.
Look, there are manipulative people out there and the range encompasses outright scam artists, to black magic, to the boss at work that always has you agreeing to do more than you want, to that family member or friend who uses you, taking, taking, taking and never giving back. I liken it to how some people sell their homes and give the money and their life up to a cult leader! There are all kinds!
You MUST, must, must develop unshakable confidence so you don’t fall prey to these jerks. If you let people take advantage of you it will never end until you prove to yourself that you won’t die if you don’t get everyone’s approval. Being confident and taking your Power Back, knowing where it comes from, gives you the ability to discern and discriminate between who is manipulating you or not.
I know a woman who worked for a prestigious company opening up branches worldwide and she fell into a cult, sold her house giving it to the cult leader and lost everything! This is a smart and intelligent woman we’re talking about - taking over the world by day and yet she didn’t have the wear with all to discern a scam artist.
This is why it’s so important to connect with a community of supportive women that can help you be more discerning about situations, understand and support you. It’s critical! Your intuition will never lie!
This is an extreme case of manipulation and it doesn’t always have to be as extreme to be such a pain and hurtful. Even just recently, here in Hawaii, I had a summer rental and there was a roommate that arrived on the scene whom I was not fond about. Right away, we clashed; I told her off, undiplomatically for leaving the garage door open at night, inviting robbers in and basically for being irresponsible.
As you can probably tell, I don’t have much patience for idiotic actions any more. Possibly, it’s because I dealt with idiots for so long I just smell them coming a mile away. This woman pulls the, “I have breast cancer,” guilt trip and begins using her scenario as a way to guilt us into letting her get away with practically being a 9 year-old.
Finally, my other roommate became wary of her disrespectful and irresponsible ways kicked her out! Hallelujah. She had even gone so far as to not pay her share of rent (although we all assumed she did) and dishonoring her agreements. The truth always comes out. I smelt it coming long ago but it took my other roommate a little longer to become wise to her conniving ways.
When people are manipulative, sometimes it’s so far out in left field There are real people out there that prey on the goodness, weakness and kindness of others. You’ve met them, the users, the takers who believe the world is unjust and everything is for them and all about them. Narcissists. These people are eternal victims themselves. You just have to stay far away from manipulators and narcissists because you’ll never get a word in edgewise, you’ll never be able to reason with them and you’ll never win. They are made to drain you of your energy because they don’t know how to source themselves from God. They go around vampiring other people who do, so be warned.
I also believe that children who grow with alcoholism in their homes make easier prey for these manipulative people and I am talking from personal experience because you always think, “Oh, they might change.” Part of you hopes that no matter what the exterior obvious personality traits look and feel like, that maybe you’re wrong, give them the benefit of the doubt, don’t be so judgmental, ridiculous! If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck and walks like a duck, guess what?!! It’s a duck! It isn’t a moose!
There are people everywhere like this. I see so many spiritual types masquerading, preying on broken people to get them to do the dirty work. You know what, as long as you don’t have any self esteem of your own, you will fall prey and they will sell you into believing that you need them.
Take your Power Back now and cut that idiot loose! You don’t need it and you certainly don’t need them! People who use you, don’t value you and they will never change. If you really loved yourself, you wouldn’t let yourself be hoodwinked by these energy vampires. Remember you teach people how to treat you. I don’t care how loud the fear may be screaming down your neck, choose God and you will literally see a miracle happen. I’m telling you;; even though you may not believe me right now, you will believe your experience.
I have some friends who I’ve wanted to help get and understand this message and they’ve even agreed, “Yup I need to change this bit about me Vanessa, I’m so grateful you’re in my life.” However, they’re actions never reflect their desire to change. RESISTANCE got them again. It is sad really, because I eventually had to distance myself from people like this. It was too painful to continue wasting my time and energy repeating myself to someone who clearly is in no mood to do anything about it. You just sit and watch their lives become more and more desperate as they lose more of their self-esteem by giving more power away to others. It’s really sad.
Ultimately, you are the only person to decide your fate! You can’t change other peoples and don’t bother feeling guilty for them either. Do your thing, help yourself and cut the rascals loose, cut them out of your life and go find people who respect you. Respect yourself and take your life, relationships and friendships to a completely new level, you deserve it!
There was a guy I dated a while back. Remember I have kissed a few frogs, let’s even call them toads. This one guy wanted me to be his sales force for his company. When I told him what I charged per hour for consulting he snorted and laughed in my face, then proceeded to tell me he would pay me something stupid and expect about 50 hours of work from me. I calmly got up and started to leave. There was no way that I was going to do business with this guy, let alone date him ever again! I just saw him exactly who he was, someone who didn’t see my worth or me and I wasn’t about to sit there and convince him otherwise.
As I started walking away and he begins yelling at me, starting to bully me to be quiet, thinking I will bark back or give him a reason to call me crazy. I just kept walking very calmly past all the people who were looking on probably asking, “What in the heck is going on there?” I was completely embarrassed and at the same time also decided, I would never so much as even acknowledge that man ever again and not even answer him in any way shape or form.
“I’m erasing you from my phone,” he texted me. “Good,” I thought to myself. “Good riddance!”
Then a few days went by and he started texting, messaging me on Facebook, calling and leaving me messages and not once apologizing (not that it would have mattered) and saying he missed me and sending me business proposals? Really, dude, you’re so way off the mark! I mean wow do you really think for a second buddy that I want to do business with you? Incredible!
Note, this guy is totally irresponsible and thinks because he texted me back it showed he missed me and I would come running. Really? Wow!! This happens all the time to women who give their power away to men when they don’t have any self-esteem. They settle for scumbags, trolls, toads and other secondary left over crumbs. Sorry buddy you lost that privilege of speaking and communicating with me long ago.
Evaluate whom you have in your life and who is worth your while. Remember this, all relationships are agreements. Choose to play with people who honor their agreements with you because if you do not, beware of the consequences. Don’t expect them to be a moose when they show you they are a duck! Between people there must be a mutual exchange and not just people who take more than they give, or people who don’t see, value or respect and honor you.
Often women are taken advantage of because they are broke and need money, so they stay in crappy jobs where they are being used, or in crappy relationships, which is why I’m so adamant about sales mastery. You must have confidence to be good at sales. Making your own money gives you the power of CHOICE about who and what kind of agreements and relationships you get into. When you take your Power Back and decide to honor how you feel, express that to others and not let the self-doubt take you out of making a stand for yourself then you will see exactly what people are made of. Remember you must close one door to open another! Taking your Power Back and finding your confidence is the best revenge! When nobody can bother you, because you know your worth, it will drive people nuts and you will just sit there smiling and not worried about their lame temper tantrums or manipulative ways.