Policy of Truth

"Can you believe what some people consider acceptable! Can you believe what they did! The cheek of it, the bare-faced bloody cheek. A total and utter disregard for anyone else’s view. Honestly, it’s a miracle that they can sleep at night. And not a word of an apology! It would have been so good to say something, ask what the fuck they thought they were doing."

"And how the hell are we going to stop it happening again?"

"I don't know. It has gone so far down the line now, how on earth could we say anything?"

"Next time, it’ll come out alright, come out right at the beginning, the minute they start and then there’ll be no misunderstanding."

"It’s not that we're cowardly types who can’t express ourselves, rather, that we're keen not to tread on others’ toes and have the world go round in harmony and happiness."

"How does that work when we then seethe about it ever afterwards?"

"Seethe? Are we seething?"

"That event happened probably three years ago, in fact knowing how time goes, more like five."

"So?"

"So, doesn’t that sound like seething?"

"A bit maybe"

"and holding a grudge?"

"Steady on!"

"Oh bollocks if we can’t even talk to ourselves honestly, what hope is there for relationships outside of our head?"

"Go on"

"Think about it, all this living in denial is great for the pathological liars of the world who aren’t actually looking for answers to a better life. But for those of us who want it different, and I assume we do actually want it different and haven’t just spouted off all this time to exercise our larynges. Because if we really do want it the way we have been shouting about, there are some really easy, fundamental things that will make it work."

"How come you're suddenly so wise in the ways of changing life?"

"Because I’ve been listening to you"

"You have! Was that a good idea?"

"Maybe- and anyway, it’s actually really simple..."

"!"

"...simple, but not necessarily easy to do. Still with me?"

"Sure"

"Imagine for a minute that you were the only person in the world, would there be any point in pretending anything?"

"Anything, such as?"

"Such as who you really are, what you like doing, how you want to behave, what the result is going to be if you do such and such. It sounds a bit too much like therapy I know, but think about it, what would be the point of pretending any of it? There would be no one there to benefit from your charades and Oscar Winning deception".

"Undeniably true but what is your point?"

"The point is that we could go at life as if we were the only person on the planet, being utterly and completely honest about everything. And there’s no better place to start, than with us. It could be so simple, we could actually talk to ourself truthfully, say things the way they are. You know what; when we were fat it was because we ate too much and didn’t burn it off. We overate! Simple! Not that easy to swallow possibly because it was quite comforting to ‘believe’ that it was because of some chemical imbalance in our thyroid, or that the body had a problem controlling our appetite mechanism. Truth was we were greedy fat fucks who enjoyed noshing out for a couple of years. Imagine if we had managed to come clean about it at the time, we would have enjoyed the noshing out all the more, without constant arguments about whether to have something and then hours of justification afterwards. Fuck the time we wasted! "

"And the energy!"

"No wonder we were knackered all the time!"

"Okay so a blanket policy of truth, for us, everyone we meet and everything we do. God! that sounds so liberating, such a relief" I feel a completely new lease of life has washed over us".

"Fancy celebrating with a huge plate of something deep fried and tasty which will do nothing for us except taste great and add a few inches to our bulbous ass?"

"Let’s go. You can tell me more about the duck on the way, lard boy".

"Lardy-ass boy, if you don’t mind".

*

"Someone said something that made me want to leap up and smash their stupid face right through a car windscreen. It was so stupid, so wrong, such a load of bollocks but they took the whole room with them. Heads were nodding, lips doing the 'oh you’re so right' thing. But all their brains were screaming at them ‘ but that isn’t what we want, we planned for something else, let some other bastard end up with that result!’ but the heads kept nodding and the lips kept doing lip things which meant "oh yes we're with you all the way".

"Concur my ass! I wanted to shout out...

'YOU FUCKING MUPPETS! WHY DON’T WE DO IT DIFFERENTLY?'"

"Maybe all those heads would have been nodding with me then."

"We’ll never know though will we, because you didn’t shove that face through the car windscreen, or jump up and shout the bit about muppetry. You sat there silently seething, filling the room with vibes of rage and incense (hang on how the hell does that work? If you can be incensed - you should give off a vibe of incense but then we’d go through life like joss sticks, stinking up the place with our foul and fetid all pervading stench. Too complicated!) Anyway we’ve established that despite being fucking livid with disagreement, you sat there and chose the 'Say Nothing' option..."

"Yeah because that isn’t agreeing, that’s still standing our ground and being us, isn’t it?"

"Like fuck it is, it’s being skeletally challenged and taking the easy option. You’re either for me or against me - someone famous said that, rather famously at quite an important event and it’s been quoted by bright people and not just the ones that have a copy of that book with clever quotes in to impress others with; because there doesn’t seem to be any grey areas in this life. You're either in or out, either with the group or not, for the company or for yourself, behind the family or wishing they’d just piss off it’s fucking Christmas after all, up the river without an outboard or not."

"So where the hell is all of this going?"

*

"I tell you what though, this saying what you think lark could be such a laugh."

"You're not kidding. We find it interminably dull to say the right thing all the time, and in truth, given the number of rows and misunderstandings we’ve had and the grudges we’ve harbored, we probably haven’t done such a good job of saying the right thing anyway!"

" How harsh is that?"

" When Buddha said life was hard, he wasn’t kidding. Years of polite conversations, which were unenjoyable at best, but mostly, skin clawingly, frustratingly awful."

"How the hell did it all start, this idea of saying nothing that you mean, and usually saying the absolute inverse." "AND FOR WHAT! It doesn’t actually achieve anything, except a national epidemic of terminal bewilderment, confusion and uncertainty, of biblical plague proportions, (and not entirely dissimilar results). Plain speaking is the way forward, therefore and we could start the trend. Isn’t it amazing, if a slightly over-used cliché of an example, that if you buy a new car, it’s all you see on the road. Invest in a beautiful new designer suit and suddenly every other bastard in the street is a walking Armani advert, get yourself a Labrador and miraculously, Surrey is completely over-run with them. Is there any reason on earth why this universal truth would therefore not apply to the people we would meet, in this new life we're trying to leap into?"

"You really think that could be the case?"

"Picture the scene in: a crowded place, dinner party, job interview, chance meeting in the street, blind date; the setting is really your choice for this scenario. Put us into this scene, the real us, the say-what-we-mean us, the larger than life person that is hiding away, waiting to spring out. Involve us in the imagined dialogue of the situation and then just at the point where you see the majority of those around us cough discreetly into their hankies, look away, mutter excuses, make to move off, do the horrified face, take a sharp intake of breath: right there, right at that point, imagine a voice which echoes our words, joins us where we're seated or standing, and introduces themselves as a like mind, who would really like to get to know us. No pretence in this friendship, not there, not in a month’s time, not in a year’s time or even several decades further on because it was the real you that attracted them."

"Wow!"

"Now, this would apply, surely, for all types of relationships: occasional , life partner, business associate, best , shag partner, potential spouse, mistress. How better a start could one wish for, than knowing what sort of person you have got your hands on, whether metaphorically or physically, depending on the relationship. How much time could we save? How many extra lifetimes could we have to actually spend, doing splendid things with these people, in the spheres in which our lives coincide?"

"Better yet how many real conversations could we have?"

"How many people do we know who we feel actually enhance our time on this planet?"

"Sounds a bit mercenary !"

"I agree. It might even make us a little uncomfortable under the collar to think about, and answer honestly. However, we're robust types, and furthermore we're alone and thus have every opportunity to be frank HOW MANY? A best ? A loving partner? A best and a loving partner? If you can throw in a family member then we're in the Premier League on this one. Chances are it isn’t more than two or three."

"Busted!"

" Now this isn’t inherently a problem in life unless we're looking for a greater circle of influence; more quality input from those around us."

"You know we bloody well are!"

"How about just a raft of better times with people who bake your noodle? Sounds good doesn’t it..."

"No, it sounds amazing!"

" And all as a by-product of being us and going after what we want in life and feeling great because we actually go out as us."

"This is really starting to sound a bit far-fetched now."

"Clearly, that needs to sink in to our fucked up heads, because if we really realized what was on offer, we’d be doing the conga all the way to Timbuktu and back."

"That's quite a way off, isn't it?"

“Hmm...so come on then, what about this duck, he's walked into a pub..”

“Everyday for a full fortnight”

“Consistent”

“And every day he's walked up to the bar and ordered a Campari and a grapefruit before”

“Hold on, a grapefruit! That's crap, there's no way a duck could dig out the segments.”

“Oh lordy..you so aren't ready for the duck yet.”

****

Have You Ever Wanted More...

"You see if life looks great and you’ve never wanted more than you see - fantastic!!

"Really fan-fucking-tastic?"

"Oh yeah, that would be a good reason to leap up, pausing only to grab your receipt and sprint full tilt, Lindford Christie style, straight to the shop or onto the computer and demand :'Return my money because my life is panning out exactly as I wanted and therefore I have no need of this book. Those around you will no doubt throw an impromptu celebration in your honor and will probably also want to touch you; for your kind are rare".

"Probably pretty easy to spot someone on the other end of the spectrum then?”

“Yeah, and anywhere along it...if they were looking to actually live life. They'd probably grab this book, the minute they saw it, devour it right then and there, without bothering to pay for it, then hurl it to the floor screaming:

"I am saved! Thank fuck! There are others who believe that life could be great!"

"Does that ever really happen?"

"I reckon they do exist, there are some people that are entirely content with their life, whatever it looks like".

"I agree completely. I also think there are plenty who have a feeling, a deep-down in the bollocks feeling that things really could be different, better, more like they dreamt of."

"Like us."

"Like most people! Honestly, how many people leap out of bed to start their day, so filled with excitement and adrenaline at the day ahead that they drop the ass out of their pants just trying to get dressed at warp speed in order to get out the door and be let loose on the day?"

"Does anyone feel like that?"

"Close enough, except maybe the dropping the ass out of the pants bit, because on the whole even excited people don't tend to lose total control of their body parts, although it has been known. But imagine if you felt 100th of that excitement and actually wanted to get up, really looked forward to what lay ahead that day, laughed as you dressed and had more energy than there were daylight hours for".

"You really do paint a fantastic picture".

"That's because there's a fantastic life on offer. A real blow your balls off, incredible, We-would-feel-like-gods kind of a life, waiting for us."

"You had me at the blow your balls off, but that may not be everyone's thing."

"But that's the point, everyone can have the life they dream of, and they would be poles apart from ours in most cases - everybody's would because we're all individuals, except you and I who are one and the same. For some, life can be a bit more pipe and slippers than hellraiser. Far from being at either end of the spectrum, there are however, statistically far more who find themselves at neither extreme but rather more, nestled in a tight huddle somewhere in the middle."

"Ooh that's a dangerous place to be, it seems to me."

"Damn right - a dangerous word altogether: middle.”

"Mind you, what about middle-age. We can’t help that can we?”

"Yes we fucking can:

Just Say No!

****

Imagine a Revolution...

*

... a feel great revolution...

*

...that you were part of.

*

A Revolution in the way we think.

Are you in?

****