Reference Experiences
I learned a theory for personal change from a company called Real Social Dynamics. In my own interpretation, the theory goes like this: People generally behave according to the boundaries of their past experiences. Since a person’s model for how the world works is based on past personal experiences, just one new type of experience can dramatically alter our mental model of the world and what is possible for ourselves. If a person can force himself to behave in a dramatically different way to attain just one dramatically different experience, the new experience can never be ignored by the mind. It will always be factored in when a decision for future behaviors come up. The more reference experiences on a given topic, the more powerful the neural network for it becomes.
As an example, a person who sells flowers for five dollars only has reference experiences for five dollar sales. If one day they change their price to twenty dollars and a few people buy them, they now have a reference experience that it is possible to make twenty dollar sales. Now future pricing decisions will be based on the new reference experience. Every reference experience of a safe airline flight can drastically reduce fear of flying. If the mind can see it, it believes. Pushing through the discomfort of change the first time makes change easier from that point on. Once your mind has seen that you did not die when you challenged yourself in a certain way, its survival response decreases for each additional similar challenge.
Reflect:
What reference experiences do you have that hold you back from achieving what you desire? (ex: I would like to perform music for people but I have a memory of being ridiculed during a performance.)
What reference experiences would you need to gain in order to achieve the aforementioned desire? (ex: I would need to experience a performance in an environment free of ridicule.)