Health and Happiness Cause Socially Dominant Behavior and Vice Versa
Social dominance is a phenomenon among social animals, including humans. In an environment with limited resources, territory, and mates, the more intelligent, healthier, stronger, more social and assertive beings have precedence over the resources. You can see this played out in virtually every social situation such as a workplace or school. Although there is not much scholarly research to substantiate all of my theories on social dominance, according to Hereli et al, happier people are perceived as more socially dominant, and sad people as submissive (2009).
People tend to be attracted to more socially dominant people. You are less likely to get a disease from them. You are likely to be protected or fed if you are on their good side. They are confident, happy, and have connections to resources. As long as they aren’t too aggressive, they are great connections to have. People tend to be repelled by socially submissive people. They might give you a disease. Their fearful emotions make one feel uncomfortable. They are a liability to the tribe. They don’t offer much social value.
This book is designed to help people who are currently struggling with socially submissive behaviors and their negative consequences, such as lack of friends, love life, financial success, and social power. Although genes play a role, they are not the only cause of dominant or submissive behavior. We have the free will to assume any behaviors we want to. Practicing more dominant body language, such as good posture and louder/lower vocal tonality, you can start to feel more confident. When your confidence produces social rewards, you are incentivized to be more confident and socially dominant. But you can’t just fake it until you make it. The real key to social dominance is being happy, healthy, and socially calibrated. All of the lifestyle changes in the companion workbook, along with gradually increasing exposure to social challenges and practicing new physiological habits can develop your social dominance. By being happy and healthy, you become socially dominant. By being socially dominant, you gain the trust, comfort, and connection of your friends, family, and prospective mates. By having rewarding social connections, you become happier.
Reflect:
In what social areas of your life do you feel a lack of power?
(ex: I feel very vulnerable in my workplace.)
What do you gain from socially submissive behaviors in these areas?
(ex: When I am quiet at work, no one can criticize me.)
What do you lose out on due to socially submissive behaviors in these areas?
(ex: I will not get a promotion at work if I do not show leadership.)
What are some ways you can strengthen your sense of self in the social areas of your life, using what you learned from the chapter?