Chapter 04
“Tips for Asking a Girl Out”
If you are asking girls for a date and being rejected, then you should read the tips in this chapter to find out what you are doing wrong.
Synopsis
Society takes a much more casual view of dating habits these days than used to be the case in our parents and grandparents days. It was almost unheard of for individuals to have multiple relationships ongoing at the same time. Dating was taken seriously and when it became a longer term relationship is usually ended in marriage.
Whereas, today it is not that unusual for individuals to frequently change dating partners, or have several at the same time. It is much less likely that individuals will enter into a marriage with their first dating partner. Unfortunately, this modern practice of trying out multiple dates in the search for the right partner can have disastrous consequences of a criminal nature.
Preparation and Punctuality are Necessities
Preparing for a first date is important. If you want to make a good impression you have to start by considering how you will look. Ask yourself what your date is likely to think of the way you present yourself? Will she be able to see that you have made an effort? Making an effort with how you appear, especially on the first date will help to create a favourable impression.
Punctuality for your first date is just as important as your appearance. Even being a few minutes’ late, sends out the wrong signals before your date has even started. You are better off planning to be at your meeting place a few minutes early.
Remaining Calm and Happy
Try to remain calm and don’t let your nerves show on a first date. If you are feeling a bit uptight, taking a few deep breaths can help to relax you before your date turns up.
If you are someone who is easily wound up by poor service, then you need to select the venue for your date carefully. You will not win any brownie points if you lose your temper or create a fracas about the littlest thing. Remaining cool, calm and collected if you are justified in making a complaint creates a good impression and shows that you can act responsibly.
Don’t Shy Away from Complimenting Her
Any individual, especially a female who says she doesn’t appreciate a compliment is lying. However, the compliment does have to be sincere or your date will likely pick up on it. Although this is sometimes an area where you may need to rely on your tact and sensitivity, especially if she asks you what you think about her new dress, or a new hairstyle and you hadn’t noticed. She will not thank you for your honesty if you tell her you hate it.
Actively listening to what your date has to say and accepting her right to have her own opinions, helps to show that you value and respect your date. If you allow your attention to drift, or constantly interrupt to impose your own opinions over hers, you are unlikely to get a second date.
You need to take responsibility for keeping the conversation flowing as naturally as you can. You can do that by ensuring there are no long gaps in the conversation. Having a mental list of topics you can introduce into the conversation, that you know will interest your date, helps to avoid those uncomfortable silences.
Rely on Your Instincts and Tell the Truth
It is unlikely that on a first date you will get around to telling your girl all your deepest, darkest secrets. However, there are some things that you need to be up front about and you will know instinctively what they are. If you want the relationship to continue and develop beyond the first date you need to tell her. She can then decide if she wants to continue dating you. You need to think carefully about what would happen if she finds out about your secret from another source, before you get around to telling her. It will get harder to tell her if you keep putting it off.
On the other hand if she asks you a direct question, you can always lie. If you do you are likely to feel guilty about lying and when it does eventually come out you will have to explain why you lied. That can be enough to finish your relationship.
Remain Positive Despite Bad Experiences
If you can get through life without having to deal with a rejection in the dating game, you will be very lucky. Nearly everyone will have at least one, if not more poor dating experiences at some point in their life. You just have to learn what you can from it and move on. You have to accept that life is not a ‘bed of roses’ and it is not always your fault that it didn’t work out.
If you think you were even partially responsible for the breakdown of the date, then you can take steps to ensure that the same things don’t ruin any of your future dates. You need to remain positive about finding the right date for you in the future.
Committed to Finding a Life-Time Partner
If you are committed to finding a life-time partner as opposed to a girl for casual dating, you need to be clear in your own mind about what you are looking for. You also need to be upfront with the girl, as she may not feel the same way as you do about a life-time relationship.
There are some girls out there who would be willing to commit to a life-time partner for any number of reasons. However, unless you have spent time getting to know each other first, which usually means dating. There are no guarantees that you will be compatible or that a life-time partnership will survive.
Positive Dating Experiences
If you are new to the dating game or are returning after a long period of time, it can be a daunting prospect. You will need to brush up on your knowledge and techniques if you want to find a good dating partner.
Spend some time people watching to see others in action and talk to friends and other people who may have just gone or are going through the same looking for a date experience. They will no doubt be a good source of advice and tips on how to go about it.
