The Way of the Fairy Godmother
I am a seeker of serenity. I search the pathways to enduring happiness. Decades of exploring and synthesizing avenues to wisdom have led me to my favorite fairytale, the tale of Cinderella. This time I didn’t interpret the fairytale from Cinderella’s viewpoint. Instead I apprenticed to the Fairy Godmother.
Observing her I found the Fairy Godmother incontrovertibly positive. She lives within an uncompromising, radiant happiness. As a result her lifestyle is dangerously optimistic. She expedites miraculous outcomes. It’s not that she doesn’t notice the problems of life. Cinderella didn’t have a dress for the ball. She needed a coach and driver. When you are grounded in reality you deal with the problems.
I don’t want to tell you how old I was before I began creating my life from the perspective of the Fairy Godmother. Let’s just leave it at; for much of my life I was in the habit of creating from Cinderella’s point of view. More often than not I was disappointed. Like Cinderella I worked and worked to create harmony in environments that would not support harmony. Such an unstinting effort is exhausting, especially after several decades. To say it was stressful and no fun only scratches the surface of the issue. It was a harsh and bleak way to live.
Imagine Cinderella in her thirties and forties scrubbing away at the kitchen floor, struggling to make beauty in an environment for people who cannot appreciate beauty. This is not a pretty picture. Living life from Cinderella’s perspective is to stay entrapped in the young maiden who longs for fulfillment. Hardship is her constant companion. Unfulfilled relationships are her unremitting burden.
Our quest? We want to mature beyond the Cinderella archetype. We want to find enduring happiness. Imitating Cinderella generated disasters in my life. No, I won’t describe them. It’s tough to admit. I’m educated and trained in the skills of good communication. I’ve searched for the secrets of happy relationships. Until now I haven’t been able to create enduring happiness. It’s past time I set about studying The Way of the Fairy Godmother.
Through the filter of positive psychology I found the Fairy Godmother nurtures the skills of savoring. Ask yourself this question: “What is working in my life?” Years ago I read an interview with a creative visualization expert. His assertion was if we can breathe we can improve our circumstances. He meant “breathe” in the literal, not metaphoric, sense. That’s intense! Do you know the power of a cleansing breath?
When the Fairy Godmother arrived in Cinderella’s vegetable garden, hidden in the stalks of corn, she didn’t talk with Cinderella about her problems. The Fairy Godmother’s first conversation with Cinderella explored her Deepest Desires. Cinderella’s dream was a first date with the Prince. Why must we find and define our Deepest Desires? Why was this question the Fairy Godmother’s first topic of conversation with Cinderella? Hold on. Let’s take this a little slower. According to the Fairy Godmother our Deepest Desires hold the seeds of our happiness. Entwining our Deepest Desires with personal strengths ushers us into a state of absorption and flow. Like the athlete who finds ‘the zone…’ engaging our strengths we are lost in the pleasure of growing mastery. One of Cinderella’s strengths is her need to create beauty. She doesn’t just clean. Her house shines with the love she puts into her tasks. Loving is another strength Cinderella needs to express. But there are more elements needed to create happiness.
Over time, in their work together, the Fairy Godmother models a positive language specific to Cinderella’s goals and ambitions. I’m getting a little ahead of our story, but let’s just say, our brains translate our words and thoughts into images. Which leaves us with the question, how does our biochemistry interact with images and symbols? Here is the short answer. Images ignite our mirror neurons. These mirror neurons are located next to our motor neurons. The excitement in mirror neurons resonates in the motor neurons and vice versa. This is why athletes can improve their athletic performance with visualization. Symbols are images already layered with meaning both individually and culturally. Working with the Fairy Godmother Cinderella will become aware of the interface between her biochemistry and symbols. The neurological and hormonal impact of images will prepare her for success and happiness.
The Fairy Godmother and Cinderella will design a Proclamation to revolutionize her life. Why is a Proclamation important? Clear goals, and mastering them, initiates self-esteem. The addition of focal points of beauty support Cinderella on the journey to enduring happiness. Golden Ladders; each rung associated with behaviors congruent with Cinderella’s Deepest Desires, will delineate the actions that carve out the territory of her happiness. Exploring their apprenticeship; understanding the step by step procedures the Fairy Godmother utilized with Cinderella, we’ll enter the realm of the Fairy Godmother. Our goal? Enduring happiness. If we are stuck in the Cinderella rut, there is a better way. Let’s explore The Way of the Fairy Godmother.