THE LEVELS OF LIFE
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Many times, the author has been confronted by individuals (many married, others single and some in one type of relationship or the other), and they have always expressed one or more of these sentiments: “Why is it that, in more than two-thirds of families the best of everything is saved for 'Father' and he is waited on? If the children annoy him he goes to his club etc.” The wife and mother bears not only the children but the burdens and heartaches? The husband only supplies the money (not always and generally not usually enough), the wife has the care of a growing and increasing family, and if the wife should die, there are plenty women for the asking?”
Other questions include; What role should the man or the woman play in an ideal marriage relationship? Who should dominate the other? Who should sacrifice more, the man or the woman? Are ‘loving’ and ‘responsible’ parents (especially the mothers) not supposed to sacrifice their lives for the family, i.e. her husband and her children? What other career goal should a ‘responsible’ woman have other than raising ‘brilliant’, ‘academically sound’, ‘medal-winning’ and later in life ‘well employed’ children?
Unfortunately by default, the societal expectation is that the woman should sacrifice more of her life for the betterment of the family, and her reward being the ‘achievements’ of the rest of the family members. That the woman should make it the business of her life to ‘suffer’ and should pride herself on
how much she has had to ‘suffer’, and ‘bear’. These questions and similar ones are the real reason for this book. The author attempts to treat every individual in a relationship first as a ‘complete’ individual – with ideals, dreams, hopes, goals, expectations, purpose, vision and mission which is who they are.
The author strongly believes that there is but one way to establish harmony in the home, and that is - to establish it first in the individual! The author also believes or assumes that no man wants a burden-bearing, round-shouldered, wrinkled and fagged-out wife. ‘That no man respects or loves a woman who will "submit" to bearing unlimited burdens or babies either. And, if a woman "submits" and yet keeps up a continual grumbling and nagging about it, a man simply despises her. ‘That what every man hopes for when he marries a woman is that she will be a bright and reasonable comrade. If she is even half-way that she will get all the love and consideration she can long for.
Bearing the above beliefs or assumptions in mind, we will attempt to see the implications and effects of the “life of sacrifice” that is expected of women on the women themselves as individuals. As well as the effects and implications of the “life of sacrifice” parents live for their children. Let us begin our exploration from the concept called “The Levels of Life” The reader should note that, Levels of life are not the same as levels of the mind. Levels of life refer to the different environments and situations that make up the world we live in. While Levels of the mind are the representations of the different layers or parts of our thinking selves that concern the processing of these experiences. In
other words, ‘levels of mind’ is a much more complex area that is way beyond the scope of this book. However, different areas provide different opportunities for us to interact and experience different types of thought, which may in turn involve the different layers of mind. The models treated here look at how we fit in as individuals into larger groups, how our lives are split into parts, balance, and the imbalances that may occur between what we think we want and what we really want.
The Different Levels Of Life (looking at different models)
We are going to look at a few models and representations, each of which tries to provide a ‘map’ of our lives. Each one aims to enable us to understand more effectively how different parts of our lives have various values, contributing to our overall experience. Some of the models seek to explain the sources of various types of satisfaction or fulfillment, others time allocation or priority. Depending on individual situations, each model has something to offer. However, it should be noted that these models are themselves only tools to assist understanding, and should not be considered definite and fixed patterns. Different people will have different experiences in different areas of life, and may vary somewhat from the suggestions in the models.
These variations may actually be clues to dealing with the issues and challenges that individuals face, since the differences may require compensation elsewhere.