SECTION 1 - Grooming Your Mind for Success
YOUR VIEWS - YOUR LIFE
All of us start our journey in life the same way - innocent and untainted. As we continue our journey, we develop a certain belief system based on experiences and interpretations produced by our general environment and the people in our immediate circle of influence.
It is interesting to see how two people can view the same event so differently, even though all of the same criteria are present. That's all due to our personal interpretations of what’s happening around us and the experiences we've had in the past that have helped to shape our belief system.
There are 3 things for which we create interpretations:
To begin understanding where your failures and successes come from, you'll need to examine your beliefs regarding these three areas.
- What is your view of yourself? How do you see you?
- How do you view other people? What labels have you placed on people individually and as a whole?
- How do you view the world in general? Is it a great place to live? Is it filled with abundance and adventure? Or is it a dark and scary place?
Below are examples of views in each category...
Examples of Self Views
- I'm a bad person
- I'm a good person
- I'm not good enough
- I can't do that
- I can do anything I put my mind to. Etc...
Anything that starts with an "I" statement is your personal self-view.
These views of your self can be empowering or disempowering/limiting. This view of yourself has perhaps the biggest influence over your life and the quality of it. If you view yourself as a powerful person, you will yield power. If you see yourself as a weak person, you will yield to others.
Your personal view can be very limiting in terms of personal potential and power. A little exercise I get my clients to do to discover their self-views is the I AM technique.
Simply say "I AM" out loud and finish the sentence.
Example: I AM a loser I AM stupid I AM Beautiful
I AM Smart
I AM Ugly
I AM amazing
I AM unlikeable
I AM popular
I AM loved
I AM unlovable etc...
It is crucial that you be as honest with yourself as possible regarding the I AM statements. I AM statements are the most powerful statements known to mankind. Whatever you choose to place after "I AM" will shape who you are and who you will become.
Most of the time our personal insecurities get in the way of our own success, but often we will project these insecurities onto others. It's important to check your critique of others to reveal your own insecurities - a great way to uproot your limiting beliefs and put you in a position to rise above them. The first step to conquering your limiting beliefs is in being aware of what they are. Then you are in a position of power and can work to eliminate them.
The amazing part of this process is that once you are aware of your I AM's, you can begin the process of changing your self-view.
To start the process of change, you simply need to change your I AM statements to all positive statements and work on believing them. The believing process can be accomplished a lot quicker with the help of a coach who can help you build that belief in yourself.
Later in this book I'll be showing you how to examine your beliefs in relation to your specific goals and how to instantly change your emotions and beliefs to start producing immediate results.
Examples of Views about others
- People are inherently good
- People are inherently bad
- People are out to get me
- People are nice and want to do me good
- People do their best with what they know
- People don't care about me
- He’s a jerk
- She's a bad person
Your views of others are found through the labels you place on them. You have a general view of people and then you have individual views of specific people.
I've seen many circumstances where two people can see the same person very differently. One says; "I don't like so and so." While the other person responds with "why? He’s so nice."
Maybe you see him as "too nice". There's got to be something wrong with this person because "No one is that nice."
These are simply different interpretations of the same person. One's life experiences have a major influence on how they see things and it can determine what you consider to be good and bad qualities; therefore, creating an interpretation of the people around you.
If you've lived in an environment where "really nice" people make up most of your associations, you may see this person as genuine. But if you've lived your life in an environment where miserable people make up the bulk of your associations, you may see it as weird and suspicious. Hence the comment "no one can be that nice."
The only reason you don't believe a person can be "that nice" is simply because you haven't been exposed to people of that caliber before. Your interpretation is fueled by your personal experience and your interpretations of those experiences. Once you are aware of this fact, you can start to examine your interpretations and begin the process of change. You can choose to associate better, more positive interpretations to your circumstances and to the people you meet.
When you catch yourself labelling people, you can take a step back and think to yourself "What past experience prompted this label?" Also, you may want to examine the emotions behind the label. Is it positive or negative? Working from a state of negative emotion will never yield good results in any situation. You must examine your emotions frequently and seek to alter them by making a conscious decision to interact with people and the world in general through positive emotion.
You can tell negative emotions from positive emotions by the way it makes you feel. If it's a negative or bad feeling it's a negative emotion. If it's a positive or good feeling it's a positive emotion. Simple stuff, but most of us don't give too much thought to our emotions or state of being.
Examples of World Views
- The world is out to get me
- The world is my oyster
- The world is a scary place
- The world is filled with good people
- The world is corrupt
If your view of the world is positive, your view of people will generally be positive as well because the world is made up of people. A person can view themselves as inherently good but see the world as inherently bad. But a person who sees the world as a good place to live will generally view people as good also.
Your view of the world is also a very crucial element when it comes to your life experience and reaching your full potential.
Note: Negative emotions always lead to negative results. So, if you're working from negative emotion in any of the three areas mentioned above, it will yield negative results in some way.
These 3 views are what shape your reality. Your interpretations within these three categories make up your life. How you act at any given moment depends on these views or what I like to call "your beliefs". Your beliefs are what lead you to act and your actions lead to your results.
In a later chapter, I'll show you how these beliefs are shaping your life.
But now, I'm going to teach you the power of "why" and how important it is for your success. I'll also teach you how to find your why and how to package it in a way that will propel you into consistent daily action.