It was another day at the park and Freddy was flying his kite with his father.
Freddy: “Look! It is so far high. You can hardly see it.”
Father: “That is awesome. Remember to control it.”
Freddy was so happy because that was the highest point that his kite had ever reached. Then, Freddy felt a touch of the wind. He knew that he had to pull the line back. However, hoping that he could get his kite higher, Freddy changed his direction and started running.
Father: “Stop! You cannot outrun the wind.”
Freddy: “No Dad, I can do it! I am going to fly my kite higher.”
Freddy refused and turned. He tugged the line and it snapped. The line fell on the ground and the sail flew away.
Freddy was shocked. He frantically chased after the sail but it was gone. He burst into tears and ran back home.
For the next few days, Freddy was extremely sad and angry. He could not understand why the very day when he had reached his highest point was the very day he lost his kite. He was mad at himself and at the world.
Freddy: “The very day I reached the peak was the day I lost everything. All my effort is gone. This is silly. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate the world.”
Mother: “This is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket. You put all your passion, time, and effort in kite flying. When it failed, it destroyed you completely. Being passionate about something does not mean you can be great at it. You were never meant to fly that high. Is OK to hate your life. There are millions out there who are hating their lives too.”
Father: “It is perfectly fine to feel angry and sad. I want you to vent all your feelings out now.”
Freddy: “All those weeks that I have spent practicing kite flying was so stupid. Just like what mum has said I was never meant to fly that high. I hate my life.”
Father: “Now, I want you to think about what you have just said. And I want you to laugh.”
Freddy: “What are you saying? I do not get it.”
Father: “You spent days crying about your defeat. It is time to stop and laugh at your defeat. I want you to laugh because you know those statements are untrue. Because if you don't, then are you saying that you truly honestly hate your life? That those weeks when we had fun flying your kite was really stupid?”
Freddy: “Well...”
Father: “Indeed, deep in your heart you know those statements were untrue. Yet you spent days repeating those statements. Be careful of what you choose to say. Your words have unforeseen consequences. You could have unknowingly hurt yourself and other people.”
“We experience life through our feelings and perceptions. Life is a storage of moments. Realize that a moment is just a moment itself. Thinking about a moment is different from the moment.”
“Losing your kite is just losing your kite. It has nothing to do with your thinking. By thinking negatively, you have given up your power and your choice of understanding the moment.”
“You kept asking why did this happen to you. Well, why not? What is so special about you that you should not lose your kite? It is true at that moment, you were not meant to fly higher. You need to acknowledge your limitations and know where you belong at this point of time.”
“But were you never ever meant to fly higher? Do you know that? Does your mother know that? No one knows that. The world has infinite possibilities and the world is constantly changing. One day, it is possible you may even fly your kite up to outer space.”
“You do not always get to know the reasons behind the failures. You just have to move on. Being passionate about something means that you will keep moving forward and eventually you will figure out what you are best at.”
“If kite flying is what you want, then why would this defeat stop you from moving forward? Did you really lose all the time and effort that you have put in? It would only be if you let this failure defeat you and stop you from pursuing what you really want.”
“It is OK to cry and whine but at some point you have to learn to stop. Do not be like those people who continuously hate their lives. You have to break this miserable cycle.”
“As parents, we do care about you. But it only can go so far. You have to care about yourself. The question is how much do you care? And do you care enough to change.”
“Changing your thinking is the first step. But you cannot just stop at thinking, you have to change your actions. You need to act on it.”
“Know when to stop, retreat, and conserve your energy so that you can push your limitations to create a better position at another point of time. Understand that this is not the end but a beginning to a new you.”
Freddy listened and realized that losing his kite was actually part of kite flying. The very first step was to acknowledge the lost of his kite and embrace his incompetency. The next step was to motivate himself to change and improve by analyzing his mistakes and develop a plan to prevent recurring mistakes.
Freddy understood that planning and thinking was just the beginning. It was doing that really mattered. To fully grow and improve, Freddy had to actually work on it and act on it. Hence, he mustered up this courage and apologized to his parents and begged his parents to buy him a new kite.
Freddy: “Mum and Dad, I am very sorry for saying things that I shouldn't have said. I do care about my life and do love and treasure my life. I have learned from my mistakes and would like to be given a second chance. I really love kite flying and hope that you can buy me another kite.”
Mother: “Freddy, it is great that you have learned your mistakes but winter is coming and you won't be able to fly your kite. It would be a waste of money. Besides, you have far more important things such as upcoming school examinations.”
Father: “I am glad that I didn't buy you a kite after you have lost yours. Timing is crucial. When you learn and when you do matters. What you choose to focus on matters. If you are too busy doing, you have no time to learn or to think.”
“Going through sadness, anger, and pain is part of life. One way to value life is by standing up and having that much courage to face your failures and learn from them.”
“It takes a lot for one to say sorry but it takes a whole lot more for one to say sorry for the right purpose. I am I am sure you will truly value your second chance.”
“However, right now, focus on school and we will get you a brand new kite after the examinations. School is important but kite flying can teach you something different. As for winter, it is the harshest times that will help you to learn. Adaptation, flexibility, and faith.”
Soon, the examinations were over and Freddy received his new kite. However, he was not as excited as he was before. He feared losing his kite again and was doubtful of his skills and abilities. Although, Freddy really liked kite flying, he would only fly on good days and choose not to fly too high.
Father: “Come on Freddy, let’s go kite flying.”
Freddy: “But it snowed. It is slippery and dangerous.”
Father: “Think positively. Honestly, what is the worst that can happen? We will be fine. It will be fun.”
It was cold and windy outside. When they reached the park, it was pretty empty and there were small piles of snow everywhere.
Freddy: “It is just too cold and too windy.”
Father: “Can you do anything about this? Can you change the weather?”
Freddy: “No, we cannot.”
Father: “So, we have to change ourselves. You are not dressed warmly. How are you going to focus on flying your kite when half of the time you are feeling cold? Remove anything that would divert your focus. Go put on a warmer coat.”
Freddy ran back home, put on his snow coat, and went back to the park.
Father: “The park is pretty empty. We have all this space that we did not have previously. We are going to be creative and have lots of fun.”
Freddy: “Dad, the truth is the park is empty because there are piles of snow everywhere and it is difficult to move around.”
Father: “You have been pointing out the dangers and the difficulties. It is good to be aware. However, you should see them as opportunities of being creative and adaptive. It is about changing your thinking, strategy, and behavior so as to prevent accidents from happening. Yes, some spots are slippery and dangerous. So, we will find a good spot. These piles of snow are just a great way to challenge yourself. You will learn to maneuver around them.”
After they found a good spot, Freddy set his kite in motion and fixed his position.
Father: “Son, you can fly it higher.”
Freddy, fearing that he might lose his kite, replied: “No, I am comfortable right where I am right now.”
Father: “When people become doubtful, they focus on bad outcomes and refuse to move forward. Yes, understand the risks but also understand the odds of that happening. Most people fear things that are never going to happen and hence they end up with no energy to deal with things that really matter.”
“If you decide to bring fear into the picture, fear would always be daunting you. Do not let a momentary emotion control and define you.”
“Right now, everything that is not in your control has aligned together to create that prefect condition for you to push beyond your boundaries. Do not deny this opportunity given by the universe.”
“Do not let negative emotions take over your rational thinking. It is OK to take a chance and let go momentarily. But learn to regain control so as not lose yourself permanently.”
“You have mastered the skills of kite flying. You have practiced and you are well-prepared. You are just waiting for the right time and it is now. You might not have a clear view of the outcome but if you make decisions based on your true values and your best knowledge, the outcome would be nothing that you cannot handle.”
“Free yourself. The future is unclear but never stop pushing forward. I am not asking you to leap far. I am asking you to just believe and move a small step forward.”
Freddy nodded, took a deep breath and slowly released the line. The kite flew higher and was steadily floating in the sky.
Freddy: “ I did it!”
Father: “That is great, son! You are always in control. Know when to slow down and when to move forward. When to go high and when to stay low.”
“You can stop and rest but do not ever stop moving. Even if you are inching, at least you are going forward. At some point, you will realize that you could only fly that high but at least you tried to make it to your highest potential. If kite flying is what you want, then treasure every experience and enjoy it. Remember, always have fun.”
At that moment, Freddy realized that fear and doubt had stopped him from enjoying what he really wanted. From then on, he treasured every kite flying moment. Sometimes, he was happy when he could fly his kite higher. Occasionally, he was sad that he could not reach that far. At times, he was just content to be in the same position. Either way, he learned how to enjoy all these moments.