11.
Time went by quickly, and I didn't fall pregnant again even though we tried when Kylar turned two. There was no medical reason for my not falling pregnant, but we never dwelled on it. If it were meant to be it would be we told ourselves. Kylar, a walking clone of his father in looks and mannerisms, was the joy of our world. I shuddered whenever I thought of my past where I had been so immune to the idea of having a child.
The guesthouse was running smoothly, and the woman I had employed to help me stayed on as she was doing such an excellent job, and I wanted to spend as much time with Kylar as was possible. But even without working and Kylar not being a difficult child I was still often so tired.
The year he turned four I got my energy back and began to be involved with as many community projects as I could. It helped me get through the times in peak fishing season when Markl and Estaban were rarely home. Slowly though I felt my energy levels sagging again and one day I decided to visit our doctor. He seemed oddly concerned over my lungs – these seemed to be more concerning to him than the past fire damage. Eventually, he did some tests that got sent away, and it would be a few weeks' wait until the results became available.
The men were always up early every morning regardless of the fishing schedule, and I had adopted the same habit. We ate breakfast and prayed together every morning. One morning when they had just left to go to the harbour the phone rang.
'Hello Mrs Jaxson, this is Dr Bacchus.'
Three hours later I returned home from the hospital, drained and exhausted. Kylar was, fortunately, asleep when I got home, and I knelt beside his bed and prayed.
'Oh Father, thank you for Your love, for Your salvation and Your Son Jesus. I pray, oh Lord, please hold my family strong in Your loving arms when they have to hear what I must tell them. Please, oh Lord, guide them and protect them. I pray, oh Lord, that they will not mourn my going to join You but will rejoice in the life we had together. Please, Lord, help them to raise Kylar in Your favour. Thank you most precious Father for the second chance You gave me, there are no words to describe how grateful I am, but You know that Lord. I come to You soon but until then, please give me the strength and knowledge to help my family through what will surely be a very difficult time. Thank you for loving me, Lord. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.'
I put my head on the bed and cried till my weak failing lungs hurt so much I had to stop. I looked at my beautiful son sleeping peacefully like an angel and thought of all the plans and little things I would have to put into place so that he and Markl never forget how much I loved them.