“Let me see your, you know,” Edew said.
“What?” Tulah replied.
“Your inner thigh, silly. I want to know you can hear from there too, as well as your ears. That you’ve got yehcuppa.”
“Edew, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“What? Oh my superior being. You’re not a noocuppan?”
Tulah nodded, shrugging his shoulders. Edew screamed, stormed out of Tulah’s recharge room, then out of the house.
Tulah’s father entered his recharge room.
“What on Unglass happened, son?” “I don’t think she liked me,” Tulah said. Tulah’s father pondered briefly. “You have yehcuppa, don’t you?” Tulah was silent.
His mother entered. “What’s going on?” “After all the education we put him through, sending him to the best education centres, Tulah’s ended up being a noocuppa,” Tulah’s father replied. “Oh my superior being,” said his mother. “The shame. I’m sorry. I’m going to have to tell the Unglass Education Committee.”
“Why would you?” Tulah asked.
“It’s her duty, son. You understand, surely?” Tulah’s father asked.
“But I’m your son.”
“A duty is a duty,” his father said.
Tulah’s mother pressed a button on the t.v. phone. “Suntra. Tulah is noocuppa.”
“You must feel terrible. I fear there is only one thing for it,” Suntra replied.
“I know.” Tulah’s mother turned off the t.v.
phone. “You know what we have to do, son.” “No,” Tulah shouted.
“Be brave, son. You will enter paradise.” Tulah’s mother and father stood there, staring at Tulah.
Tulah screamed, pressing his hands against his ears.
“You can’t just pull it off and put it where you want, son,” Tulah’s father said.
“There’s cosmetic surgery,” Tulah replied.
“Brave noocuppa death,” his father said.
Tulah’s mother and father stared at him.
In intense pain, Tulah smashed the windows of his recharge room.
His mother and father embraced each other for reassurance and comfort, then continued staring.
Tulah fell to the floor, then five hundredths of a centon later he shouted, “Wait. The advert on the Unglanet.” He held out his hand, and a pink pill materialised onto it.
“I’m sorry,” Tulah said. He rushed outside the house. “Come back,” he screamed to Edew. She paused. Then came back.
He passed her the pill. She bit into it and swallowed.
“I don’t understand. Nothing’s happening,” Edew said.
Then a cup of water appeared in Tulah’s hand. “Of course.” Edew took a few gulps. Immediately her lips and lungs started to enlarge to the size of Unglassian melons.
Tulah grabbed Edew’s upper limb and they ran back into the house.
“Perhaps a bit too much pressure on us all, but we got there eventually,” Tulah’s father said.
Edew nodded. “Now I’ll be audible when I speak to you there.” She pointed to his inner thigh.
Suntra materialised. “Donating three zillion botcoin will secure the Education Committee.” Tulah’s mother nodded.
“Gracious. Excuse us,” Tulah said, looking at them. They left nodding, as Edew’s mass fell on top of him.