Tora, possibly of the Torng people
The spacecraft descended. It landed. The plank carried Tora closer to what appeared to be a human female.
“Oh crikey”, said the female. “I’m Sarah.
Who are you?”
“Hello Earthling. I’m Tora. Acting representative of the Torng people, from the planet Tor. We’ve come to observe you.”
“Why is that?”
“We feel there is something we can learn from you.”
“But look at your space ship. It must be a remarkable feet of engineering. What could you possibly learn from us?” she asked.
“How do you go to the toilet?”
“That’s not a nice question.”
“Our scientists tell us we are polluting our environment the way we do it.”
“I see. We sit down,” she replied.
“How many other varieties do you have? We have five hundred and twelve.”
“And you can’t find one safe way to go?”
“I know. Five hundred and twelve ways of going to the toilet.”
“Anyway. We have two.”
“How else do you do it?” asked Tora.
“Some of us sit down. Some of us stand up.” “I saw a documentary on our planet saying you pull it out of your trousers and stand up. Why do you say you sit down?”
“That depends?”
“This conversation is too complex.” Tora pulled out an object from its side, and pointed it at her.
Zap. Sarah vanished into thin air.
Tora walked back inside its spacecraft. “I really thought they’d be able to help us,” said Tora.
“They are fools. They cannot fool our toilet spies,” was the reply from another being.
“Why do you say flies?”
“No, Tora. Spies.”
“I see.”
The console buzzed. Tora pushed a button. “Come in.”
“Your next mission, Tora is to ask earthlings why they don’t eat dog food. Confirm.”
“Confirm. Tora out.” Tora then turned to his companion in the spacecraft. “Although I think it’s because they’re not cats,” he said, worried. “Oh Tora. You poor genius. You’re closer than ever to proving you are worthy of Planet Tor citizenship,” said his companion, embracing him.