It was dusk, making it easier for me to peek out through the window. However, there was also a down side. Officers doing this kind of work are more alert and investigative during the night hours. That‟s when smugglers are usually more daring.
As soon as Shane drove up to the entry booth he pressed the brake pedal and then shifted his car into neutral. His window was already rolled down. The officer was stationed on Shane‟s left.
“Do you have anything to declare or are you carrying any illicit drugs or any weaponry on your person or in your vehicle?”
“No sir, I‟m surely not.”
“What‟s that thing in the back of your Chevy? Is it real or faux?”
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“Officer, it‟s faux. I got it at a flea market in the Seattle area. It cost me eighty dollars. It‟s used that‟s why it‟s so cheap.”
“Sir, please get out of your Chevy and then open your back door leading to your article.”
At that moment I felt like the game was all over. I was almost ready to bolt across the border into Canada and continue running onwards until reaching the first wooded or forested area. Canada still has some safe havens for kitties.
I could hear the treading of the Officer‟s flat feet pounding onto the pavement. Judging from his scent and laboured breathing he was obese. I could almost hear the beads of sweat dripping from his forehead and neck too. Not to mention that his soggy armpits were somewhat stinky. I couldn‟t react for obvious reasons.
The Officer waited until Shane exited his Chevy and then opened the rear door.
The Officer‟s sweaty hands petted my body. Several beads of sweat dropped onto my coat. I was irritated but managed to stay still.
“Okay, sir, this looks and feels like a fake. But there‟s one thing that‟s bothering me; it smells like a cat that‟d just eaten.”
“Actually ... umm ... Officer, I accidentally dropped some of the food and drink from my cooler onto my faux kitty skin.”
“Well, all‟s clear here! On your way and welcome to Canada!”
“Thanks Officer, I‟ll try to enjoy myself.” As soon as Shane got into the driver‟s seat the Officer called out to him. Shane and I were certainly terrified.
“You know I forgot to ask you; are you a Canadian or an American?”
“Sir, I was born and bred in Seattle.”
“Okay, on your way then!”
That was a close one. I almost pooped and peed in Shane‟s Chevy.
Shane continued driving but told me to stay down until he said it was all right to sit beside him.
Thankfully, it was only a few minutes into the drive when Shane gave me the okay.
Just in case, I scanned the area searching for patrol cars but found none. I squeezed through the narrow passage dividing the driver‟s seat and the passenger seat but made sure not to inadvertently shift the gears.
“Well kitty, we‟re home free! Look on you right. That‟s Elmwood, British Columbia population fifty thousand. Would you like to be dropped off there?”
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“Yes, I certainly would!”
Although I was flabbergasted to have crossed into Canada and to be dropped off in a small city I knew that I‟d probably never see Shane again. He was thinking the same thing because I noticed tears streaming from his eyes down his cheeks.
Furthermore, his face reddened and he didn‟t speak again until it was time to part ways.
As soon as we were within spitting distance of the town sign Shane pulled over and then shifted his Chevy into drive, not into neutral or park indicating that the conversation was going to be short, indeed. Maybe, it was for the better.
“Kitty, I love you so dearly. I‟ll never ever find a friend like you again. Even if I were to become a husband and father I‟ll still never forget you. And please, don‟t you dare forget me.
Kitty, look me up sometime in the future. Maybe, the circumstances will change. If I‟m living in a mansion you‟ll still be very welcome to stay with me or if I‟m married by then, with us. I‟ll give you your own room, television, toys and play area. You can have the best laptop money will buy and the best Blackberry in Canada. I‟ll feed you like a prince and if I‟m married I‟ll make certain that my wife and kids love you too.
Kitty, I won‟t allow anyone to harm you then. You‟ll be a full-fledged member of our family.”
Shane was sobbing fiercely. His voice was shaky and his hands were trembling. Worse yet, his face appeared pale and he was sweating profusely. I had to calm him down before he went into cardiac arrest.
I leaped onto Shane‟s lap, stood on my hind legs and then pawed his face ever so gently and without losing eye contact.
After doing this for a minute or so I kissed him on each cheek and told him that I loved him and that under no circumstance would I ever forget him.
After finishing my final statement to Shane I turned towards the passenger door and then leaped out the window. After landing on the pavement I took several steps in the direction of the Elmwood city sign. I turned back and then grinned at Shane.
As a final gesture „of goodbye‟ I raised my right paw and then waved it at him. He waved back and then put his Chevy into drive and left.
Shane‟s eyes were bloodied and teary. He looked like a man who‟d been defeated by life‟s trials and tribulations.
It was dark out and there wasn‟t a car in sight. I was standing at the edge of a long road that seemed to lead to nowhere. I wondered where Shane was going; certainly not southward. Anyway, I had my own problems to deal with.
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I turned to face the Elmwood city sign and stared at it for a minute or two. Something was wrong. I had to think really hard why my heart was beating like crazy. My subconscious was warning me about something.
It took that minute or two of pondering to realize the mistake that I‟d made. There were no cars on the road and the lights in the area were dim. Furthermore, I had no idea exactly when Shane took notice of the Elmwood city sign. There was a possibility that this could be the second „dimensional zero‟
city that I was to visit. There would be more monsters to deal with.
I decided to wait for oncoming traffic but instead noticed traffic from within the city. That brought me a rush of relief.
I had to see the humans in person though. There could be creatures out there who know how to drive cars.
Although the lights outside the city aligning the road were sparse and dim those within the city of Elmwood were of normal brightness.
I focused my concentration on a particular car, a green Volkswagen bug. The driver slowed down and pulled over beside a drinking fountain located in a mini-park.
Thankfully, it was a middle-aged woman who‟d exited the Volkswagen. She walked to the drinking fountain and had her fill. Afterwards, she returned to her Volkswagen and then drove off.
I took my first steps into Elmwood feeling a powerful and overwhelming sigh of relief.
I crossed Jenson Street and entered the mini-park heading straight to the water fountain. I‟d eaten my fill and much of the food contained a high concentration of salt.
It took me a minute or so to reach the water fountain.
Instinct ordered me to scan the area before getting a drink. My ancient ancestors did that on a regular basis. Water is essential for all humans and animals in the wild however it can also be a waiting area for dangerous predators. They wait for tired, thirsty oblivious prey. They hit them really hard when they‟re drinking their fill.
Thankfully, I noticed nothing out of the ordinary in the area. I leaped onto the drinking fountain and then pushed the faucet button to release clean cold water.
Normally, cats aren‟t big drinkers. I though, have been blessed with the ability to drink like a desert camel if need be and that‟s what I did.
I must‟ve drunk half my weight in water. Afterwards, I lied on my back for an hour or so and then peed on a patch nearby.
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I made a fatal error though. I didn‟t scan the area before peeing in plain sight. Anyone, even an officer of the law could see me.
I briskly walked to the other end of the mini-park and then exited it crossing Walker Street. But as soon as I was on the sidewalk a high-beam light flashed on me emanating from my left side.
As soon as I turned to face the source of the high-beam light a loud siren blared. In addition, flashing lights from atop a patrol car were whirling. Oh gosh!
I had to respond in an instant; either I stayed and took my chances hoping for a merciful and understanding officer; stayed and got bitched out and then was handed a hefty fine, fined and taken to jail, or I could run away and hope to lose the officer.
My survival instincts commanded me to scram. And that‟s what I did. Straight ahead was a plethora of residential homes, most were large and each had a sizeable lawn. I could cut through many lawns and alleyways and then hide out until a later time.
I sprinted away like a cheetah on the chase. There was no turning back now. I had illegally fled the scene.
The officer called in for backup and then all hell broke loose. He peeled out and then drove to the back of the block but by the time he‟d reached it I‟d already cut through several blocks worth of homes.
Sirens were now going off from afar but were converging upon the neighbourhood. I understood that I had to leave the area immediately.
I continued running through lawns and alleyways using up whatever energy reserves I had. Thankfully, it was only 7:30
P.M. I had a long night ahead of me. Night-time is an asset to felines. Our night vision is superior to that of humans.
I kept running and running for a total of fourteen blocks before I could go no longer. Cats have incredible stamina but are not known for their endurance, unless we‟re walking.
For us, sprinting is like a Blitzkrieg, it is lightning fast but doesn‟t last for long.
To tell you the truth as soon as I entered Gilman Street I became extremely nauseous. Furthermore, my muscles were twitching and felt weak. It was as though I was low on potassium. But, I wasn‟t, I was exhausted.
Gilman Street was aligned with mansions. I chose the closest one in sight. It was beige coloured, three levels high and contained a very large beautiful lawn. With three garages and a swimming pool in the back this was the place I wanted to rest in.
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Regarding the swimming pool, I could smell the powerful scent of chlorine. Swimming pool chlorine doesn‟t smell like anything else. A human or animal that has swum in a swimming pool can never forget that unique scent.
As I was about to collapse I heard a siren just around the corner. In a last minute effort I leaped over a car that was parked in front of the mansion. Thankfully, I landed behind the car away from oncoming traffic.
I curled up into a ball behind the right rear tire. But the problem was I couldn‟t stop panting.
The officer in the patrol car turned off the siren but kept the whirling siren lights on. Then he slowed down to a tortoise pace driving through the neighbourhood flashing a powerful white light on each and every mansion and lawn. It was as though he knew I was panting.
When the driver was too close for comfort I held my breath.
Remember, I was still in desperate need for extra oxygen.
I held my breath until the patrol car vanished into the next neighbourhood. By then, it was too late. I passed out. The shock of it all was too great for my system.
I came to at 10:30 P.M. Although I wasn‟t hungry I went into „wildlife animal mode‟. Sometimes in the wild an animal will eat because of the easy availability of food or to prevent potential hunger in spite of it not being hungry. It‟s the anticipation of a possible extended period of time without a guarantee of food that drives this behaviour. Habit can also play a part in this behaviour scenario.
The mansion before my eyes was mind boggling. An animal who resided therein would be on top of the world. Suddenly, I remembered my previous days of mansion living; it brought sadness to my heart. I yearned for those days ever so strongly.
I was willing to do anything to return therein.
I turned to face Gilman Street, scanned the area intently and then turned back to face the mansion. There were no dangers in sight.
I lowered my head and body in a stealth manoeuvre in order not to be seen and then proceeded to approach the mansion. I stopped roughly ten feet from the magnificent golden-handled door. I noticed a warning sign roughly the size and shape of a pack of cigarettes: WARNING! SMITH & ALBERTSON ALARM SERVICE!
I cringed for a moment but then began to ponder about a game plan to enter the mansion. I knew that entering directly through the door would be catastrophic. I took several steps back and then carefully scanned the entire facade of the mansion.
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I did not notice a single ajar window or any underground entrances. However, I did notice a possible entry point and was indeed a last resort. It was located near the roof.
I carefully walked around the mansion from the left side keeping an eye on possible witnesses inside.
I noticed a large playground, no doubt for the owner‟s children. The place wasn‟t attached to the mansion so it was useless for me to investigate.
As I proceeded I noticed a shed just behind the playground.
I pondered about grabbing a tool and breaking into the mansion but remembered the warning sign. Everything that I saw afterwards was irrelevant to my chances of entry. When I‟d made a full-circle around the mansion I decided to go back and try my final option.
I scanned the area once more, readied myself and then leaped onto the wall leading to the roof. I extended my claws and got to work, scaling the roof like Spiderman.
As soon as I was on the roof I scanned the area another time and then walked to the chimney. Mind you, the roof was slanted so I had to walk with my claws extended.
I leaped onto the top of the chimney, took a big whiff, but surprisingly smelled no firewood, either burning or remnants of.
I carefully leaned forward and peered down into the fireplace. Thankfully, the area was empty. It was only for show and design.
I swung my body forward and then carefully descended the chimney like Santa Claus would but with different intentions. I figured if Santa Claus, an overweight elderly man could do it why couldn‟t I.
As soon as I reached the fireplace I scanned the area trying to detect any movement.
Furthermore, I took a deep whiff scanning for an animal, especially a dog. No dog would ever allow me „a cat‟ into its master‟s home. Not from this vantage point.
The living room I descended into was vast and beautiful.
The carpet was thick, comfortable and beige coloured. The furniture was superb especially a large lazy boy chair in my direct path. I also noticed a 50 in. HD (High Definition) television set. The remote control had been placed on a special tray beside the lazy boy chair. The DVD player had many special features.
On my left and about 25 ft. from my position was a bar counter. An assortment of drinks was stacked behind the counter in front of a large mirror. There was a large keg of beer there too. Most of the booze was in bottled form. There were dozens upon dozens of bottles therein.
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Moving onwards, I noticed a large cabinet made of Oakwood and the rest of glass. Therein were priceless antiques. I couldn‟t take my eyes off the antiques. But then I realized that I‟d entered the mansion for a specific purpose; not to steal merchandise. I had to eat and drink and then leave.
I left the living room and entered a long hallway aligned with rooms on the left and the right. I was only interested in the kitchen. However, I had to first stroll through the hallway to ensure that everyone in the house was sound asleep.
I decided to stroll through the left side of the hallway first. It appeared to contain the bedrooms.
I strolled through the hallway like a jaguar, not making a sound; not even causing a creak in the floor underneath the beautiful carpet.
I passed bedrooms and one restroom and a study room.
Everyone appeared to be sound asleep. A grandfather clock on the wall indicated it was 11:30 P.M. Time was passing too quickly. I had to eat and drink soon.
I decided not to inspect every single room. Although a smart kitty like me knows better I became somewhat impatient.
I raised my head and sniffed my way to the kitchen which by the way was on the other side of the hallway.
I briskly walked there ignoring the telltale signs of approaching danger. It wasn‟t until I was at the mouth of the kitchen entrance that a shocker hit me like a ton of bricks.
I felt minor vibrations beneath my paws. That meant that someone was strolling through the house and he/she wasn‟t upstairs, the vibrations were emanating from the ground floor.
In a reflexive motion I was automatically catapulted into the air and I made a 180 degree turn facing whoever was approaching me.
Thankfully, the house was dark but all it would take is the person to turn on the hallway light and I‟d be a dead goose.
I dashed into the kitchen, which by the way wasn‟t as dark as most of the other rooms in the house. A streetlight beside the mansion was partially lighting up the kitchen. In addition, the owners of the mansion had conveniently placed a dim lighted lamp in the kitchen. I guess it was to aid anyone who wanted to snack late at night.
Suddenly, my pulse and blood pressure went into overdrive.
I was desperately twitching and shifting my eyes from left to right, up and down. I felt like a roach who was about to be squashed by a giant human.
Luckily, I zoomed in on a specific cupboard door, running to it and then leaping onto the tiny door handle. I quickly opened the door, entered the cupboard and then gently closed the 89
door behind me. I realized that I had to be as quiet as a lioness on the hunt.
A moment later someone entered the kitchen. I could tell from the sound of the treading it was a child; a female indeed.
She entered the kitchen and then walked back and forth and in semi-circles appearing to be confused about what to eat.
Thankfully, she stopped her silly walking routine and opened the fridge. I tuned into what she was doing with total earnest and concern.
She pulled out a carton of liquid from the kitchen and then closed the fridge door behind her. Then, she placed the carton on the counter and turned the cap open.
The little girl paused and then she approached my cupboard.
It was then I realized that I was standing in the cupboard containing all of the glasses, cups and bowls. I was horribly terrified but under the circumstances I gambled that the little girl was too sleepy to fully understand what was going on around her.
As soon as she opened the cupboard door I handed her an empty glass. She took it and then closed the cupboard door without incident. But in that brief moment I managed to detect crust on her eyes. Furthermore, her eyes were bloodshot and she appeared half-dazed and half-asleep. I guess she had a late night craving for a drink; the scent of chocolate milk was in the air.
The little girl spent ten minutes in the kitchen before leaving. I cropped up my ears to make sure that she wasn‟t pulling a fast one on me. Well, she wasn‟t. As soon as she left the kitchen I slowly opened the cupboard door and then leaped onto the kitchen floor.
I dashed to the mouth of the kitchen entrance and peered at the little girl. There was no indication that she‟d noticed me.
Well, if she did remember me upon awakening, at least then I‟d be long gone.
I scanned the area to the end of the hallway. As soon as I was certain of no imminent danger I turned and then leaped onto the freezer. I knew what I wanted and I was hoping that I‟d find it.
I slowly lifted the lid of the freezer, peered inside it and then rummaged through the frozen foods and drinks. Eureka! I found what I wanted!
There was a large stack of Hungry Man Dinners waiting to be eaten. Naturally, I took two Hungry Man Chicken Dinners, carefully pulling them out using my left foreleg and at the same time holding the kitchen lid up with my right hind leg. I really felt like a contortionist at the time.
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A short while later I was standing beside the Microwave oven. It was a gargantuan Microwave with sufficient space to properly cook two large dinner plates.
After reading the directions on the label I placed both TV
dinners inside the Microwave and then pressed the appropriate controls.
Meanwhile, I leaped onto the kitchen floor and then leaped onto the kitchen door, opening it and then retrieving the bottle of chocolate milk. I carefully took hold of the bottle with my right paw and then exited the fridge. I closed the fridge door behind me.
A moment later I had two hot dinner plates in front of me and a large glass of chocolate milk to help bring the food down.
I feasted on my food and drank the chocolate milk with much delight. I‟d forgotten to scan the area every-so-often.
Thankfully, this time there were no problems. After finishing off all of the food and drink I tossed everything into the garbage and then left the kitchen. However, as soon as I‟d taken several steps out of the kitchen I backtracked. I decided not to take any chances. I left the mansion through the kitchen door.
As I left the mansion a thought ran through my mind,‟ rich Canadians eat quite well‟.
But as I continued walking away from the mansion another thought entered my mind. This one wasn‟t as pleasant as the previous one. I remembered entering the mansion through the chimney because the place was rigged with an alarm system. I exited the mansion through the kitchen door. No doubt, I‟d inadvertently set off a silent alarm. I only had a moment or two to scram and hide.
I scanned the area looking left and right. But as soon as my head was pointing left I saw an oncoming light coming from a motor vehicle. Thankfully though, I quickly crossed Lane Street and entered another lawn. But I knew very well that I couldn‟t stop there. I ran to the back of the mansion and peeked from a hidden vantage point.
As I‟d expected, a patrol car with the insignia SMITH & ALBERTSON ALARM SERVICE parked in front of the back door (kitchen door) of the mansion. Now, the siren lights were revolving so fast they almost looked like strobe lights. The driver tried to sneak up on the assailant but thankfully it didn‟t work.
I decided to stay put for a while to get a feel of what was going on. A short while later two patrol cars arrived. Five men and two women exited the patrol cars and then converged upon the mansion. But that‟s not all. Three RCMP cars soon arrived. But what horrified me the most was that one of the police patrol 91
cars was the same one that‟d initially chased me soon after I‟d entered Elmwood.
I assumed that all of my problems would vanish as soon as I entered Canada. Well, maybe not all of them.
One of the police offices rang