I decided to continue heading eastward on Hamilton Road. If it‟d been a junction I would‟ve naturally have walked in an eastwardly direction. However, being a road it wouldn‟t take me to Manitoba or any other province. Roads generally don‟t extend that far. But I had no choice for the time being. Apparently, Edgar had inadvertently forgotten to give me instructions relating to this particular matter.
It was late in the morning and the Ontario sun was beginning to shine with full ferocity. However, neither the rays nor the heat of the shine in this part of North America could compare to the south-western United States. I‟d endured worse and was proud of it.
Traffic was mild, but nevertheless it was visible. This was a good sign. The last thing I wanted was to disappear into another dimension.
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It‟s always safer to walk against traffic. This rule also applies to joggers. You need to see and hear oncoming traffic.
If you walk with traffic you have to either turn around or glance back to see upcoming traffic.
The sun was shining on the left side of my face and body.
As I continued my trek eastward I began to feel an acute dryness in my mouth and throat.
Roughly an hour into my walk a blue Toyota pickup with party-goers pulled over beside me. Instantly, I went into fight or flight mode. A cat, all alone on a long road; well you add the math.
Including the driver there were roughly a dozen persons in all. The driver was a male. The other persons were a mixture of both genders.
“Hey, kitty, do you wanna beer? It‟s locally brewed, really, it was made in Ontario. It is very strong stuff and ...
if you say „yes‟ I‟ll untwist the cap for you. In fact, I‟ll hand it to you personally.”
The guy who spoke to me was a typical jock. He must‟ve been just over 6 ft. tall, weighed roughly 200 lbs. was a pretty boy and wore a Lansing University Studs jersey. No doubt, the jersey wasn‟t an official name of an organization. It was one of those logos designed to issue a statement and to produce a laugh or a smile of sorts.
But I noticed that when the stud said „yes‟ the other passengers except for one female in the back of the Toyota pickup began to laugh. I was unsure of their motive. But under the circumstances I was dead thirsty and quite tired of all the walking.
“Guys, how‟s it going? Look, if you want to give me a drink, give me bottled water, juice, milk or pop. I‟m dead thirsty and any alcohol I consume will only make matters worse.” C‟mon kitty, don‟t be a poor sport. Look, if you promise to hop onto this Toyota with us we‟ll give you all the water you want. However, there are a couple of conditions; first you must drink a draft, second you have to return to Lansing University and take the Studs pledge. You have to become our fraternity brother. We need a cute kitty like you.”
For a moment I stopped walking and pondered about something very important. I‟d completely forgotten about the advice Edgar had given me. I‟d been walking so long it was apparent to me that I‟d gone in the wrong direction. I hadn‟t noticed any town signs anywhere.
Being that I was quite thirsty and my saliva was so frothy it actually looked like barber shop shaving lotion, I decided to accept the invitation. Besides, I could smell pizza emanating from the Toyota Pickup.
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Really, I had no choice but to leap onto the Toyota pickup and join in the fun.
I took a couple of steps towards the Toyota pickup and then chose a gap between the party-goers to land on.
As soon as I landed unto the Toyota pickup another jock handed me a bottle of cold beer. He even twisted the cap off for me. Although I wasn‟t much of a drinker, being a cat and all, I had to join in the fun because I needed other things, like food, water, a free ride and temporary shelter.
The driver continued driving and then took the next exit roughly a mile away. He turned right onto Laney Street and thereafter went straight until reaching Lansing University.
Amongst the party-goers there was one that stood out. I guess in life there‟s always someone that‟s chemistry is compatible with yours. I‟m not limiting my scope to couples, but including all kinds of relationships including cross species ones.
This girl must‟ve been a freshman at Lansing University.
She was very beautiful indeed. She had long jet-black shiny hair, cat eyes, milk white skin and freckles on her face and body. She was roughly 5 feet 9 in. tall and weighed around 125
lbs. She was wearing a red, white and blue Lansing University jersey and dark blue sweats. Her sneakers were white and suitable for athletics.
This young woman had a smile worth a million dollars. As soon as she took notice of me I felt the beautiful rush of her smile.
“Hi kitty, my name is Carmella Anderson and I‟m totally happy to meet you. I‟ve never drank beer with a kitty before.
Wow, it‟s so delightful.
Kitty, what are you doing all alone walking on a very long road underneath the scorching sun?”
I had to think of a quick answer without drawing any attention to myself.
“Umm, like umm, I‟m moving to Ottawa? Yes, I‟m moving to Ottawa. I‟m originally from British Columbia. Umm, I was heading to the next town to catch a bus.”
“Wait, honey, look, it is Spring break. Why don‟t you come back with us and be a guest at the frat party? I know that the fraternity brothers want you as a member, but if you can‟t make that kind of a commitment then please come to the party anyway.
There‟s plenty of food and booze. Will you?” Carmella spurted out the words „will you‟ as though she was asking me to marry her. If I had said „no‟ she would‟ve been devastated.
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“Carmella, I‟m ready to party. But I‟m not much of a drinker and I don‟t wanna drink more than this beer. Cats don‟t like the taste of alcohol, really.
Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself; my name is Chip Miller and I too am very pleased to meet you.”
The other party-goers were paired up in twos and didn‟t take much notice of Carmella and me.
Carmella and I enjoyed our beer. She drank two more beers by the time we‟d reached Lansing city limits. Lansing University was only a quarter of a mile away. I could clearly see the university sign and logo situated atop an arch.
The driver of the Toyota pickup was starting to swerve a little too much for my nerves. The party-goers were too tipsy or drunk to take notice.
It was now mid-afternoon. I was stunned at how much they‟d already drunk. Were they going to keep on drinking until late in the night? I wondered.
“Honey, Chip, can you love me more than the whole world?”
“Carmella, a beautiful young woman like you must have a boyfriend, I mean, if you don‟t mind me asking, do you have one?”
“Of course I do! The driver‟s my boyfriend. His name is Ace Wayland and the guy sitting beside him is his best „guy friend‟
in the whole world, Stud Manley.”
I sensed something unusual in Carmella‟s tone of voice. She was sad and stressed out when she uttered her sentence. I had to get to the bottom of this before we reached the fraternity house.
“Carmella, why are you in the back of the Toyota? If he‟s really your boyfriend you should be sitting next to him not Stud.”
Suddenly, Carmella‟s eyes began to redden and water. A single tear dripped down her cheek. But I could tell that she was holding herself back. She wanted to catapult her true feelings onto me. Many humans have done this when conversing with a cat.
“Umm, Chip, like ... my boyfriend never allows me to get shotgun even when we‟re alone together. He says that I‟m like livestock and livestock is not permitted to sit next to the driver.”
“Huh, what did you just say?!”
As soon as I asked the question Ace honked his horn several times and then yelled out some obscenities. The other passengers laughed violently, but Carmella and I stayed silent.
My mind had been distracted by the obscenities and our arrival at Lansing University.
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Lansing University‟s buildings were outstandingly polished and beautiful. I could see at least twenty buildings from my vantage point. The campus was like no other any cat had seen.
The lawn was perfectly manicured and looked lively green.
The trees appeared lively and massive.
Passersby were smiling and in good spirits. Although it was Spring break there were still some students on campus. There are dorm rats in every college and university campus.
But we weren‟t in front of the fraternity house. I shrugged my forelegs while looking intently at Carmella.
“Chip, this is the Lansing University Ice House. Students can receive a free 10 lbs. of ice once per semester. Ace and Stud are each getting their first. This ice is for the drinks at the fraternity house.”
“Carmella, is there a catch to this free ice bag gig?”
“Well, actually, Chip, it‟s not a catch but come to think of it there are two preconditions; first the individual needs to present a valid student I.D. and he/she must reside on campus.
Students who don‟t live on campus aren‟t entitled to this deal.
They must pay for the ice bags.”
The reflection of the glaring sun on the giant electronic parting doors of the Ice House was too glaring for Carmella and me. Everyone including Carmella and me disembarked from the Toyota pickup. They scattered like moth on a hot and humid afternoon.
Three students, a female and two males turned back and waved at me. The female also blew me a kiss. I returned the kiss.
Carmella didn‟t appreciate that. She glared at the female and mumbled some hostile words to her. The female in turn turned to face Carmella. If that wasn‟t bad enough the two girls slowly approached each other with fists clinched.
The two males held back the female. In turn, I tugged on the pant leg of Carmella. Thankfully, the potential fight was halted. Thereby, I released my pincer grip on Carmella‟s pant leg.
But there was more to come, as Carmella gave me a hostile word or two.
“Chip, let me go! I want to beat that little wench senseless!”
“Carmella, please forget it. Why don‟t we go to the snack bar, I‟ll buy you a nice bowl of soup and dessert. Or, if you want more, I can buy you a complete meal?”
“Chip, that‟s not what I want. Besides, there‟s free food and drinks at the fraternity party.
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But for now, I want us to enter the Martin Biology Building. It‟ll be empty at this time. I need to speak to you about something very important.”
Carmella appeared quite disturbed. Her face turned pale and then reddened. Her voice was choppy and there was much sweat on her forehead. Even her hair was wet.
Without even asking for my permission, Carmella bent down, heaved me up to her chest, hugged me gently and then began her walk to the Martin Biology Building.
The building was situated near a beautiful artificial pond.
This building was three stories high and was state of the art in architecture. But we weren‟t entering the building to admire it.
Carmella had something else on her mind.
As soon as we entered the building, Carmella scanned the area in all directions, even behind us. She began to briskly walk towards the end of the long hallway. As she walked I couldn‟t help but notice how polished the floor was. There was a lemony scent in the air. It wasn‟t emanating from real lemons, but from the scented cleaning chemicals the custodian had used.
Roughly three quarters of the way down the hallway Carmella entered Room #18. The room was so large and vast it reminded me of a Roman Coliseum.
Carmella scanned the interior of the room in search of any other persons therein. There were none. Realizing this, she descended down a carpeted walkway for about twelve rows of seats.
Carmella took a deep breath and then sat down in an aisle seat. She began to weep heavily. Some of her tears were dropping on my head and body. I kept quiet in fear of making matters worse.
The lights were dim and beautifully set. Much work had been done to perfect the appearance of the hall room. But there was no time to ponder about this aspect. Carmella got down to business.
“Chip, how dare you betray me?! You were trying to cheat on me! I saw you smiling at that little wench, Jennifer! Don‟t you know that she‟s the biggest slut in the whole school? She tried to steal Ace from me on several occasions. Now, she‟s trying to hurt my feelings by getting to you.
Chip, don‟t you love me? Please, tell me that you love me and that I‟ll always be your best friend in the whole world and that if I die you won‟t find another best friend in the whole world, especially another woman! On the latter point I emphasize with incredible earnest. No woman can ever have you!” I was both stunned and shocked. I didn‟t know what to say.
For a few seconds I pondered, but thankfully, the kitty genius in me came up with a good answer.
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First, I grinned at Carmella and then pulled her head towards me. I gently kissed her on each cheek, licked her lips and then gently stroked her beautiful hair. And finally, I gently rubbed the side of my head against hers, literally scenting her. She knew exactly what I was doing.
Further on, I spoke kind words to Carmella, not taking my eyes off, even for a split second.
“Honey, my love, Carmella, I love you so much. I really wasn‟t trying to cheat on you. I was only being polite to Jennifer. You‟re my true love. And yes, I have now formally made you my best friend in the whole world. Please don‟t cry. I promise to never forget you and to protect you at all costs, even at the risk of death.
But I‟m not sure what you meant by „cheating‟. I mean, I‟m a cat and you‟re a human. Clarify, so I can understand.”
“Chip, I‟m talking about „emotional adultery‟. You take me as you best friend in the whole world and then afterwards you see another person and tell him/her especially „her‟ the same thing.”
“Okay, Carmella, I understand.”
Carmella and I conversed for a short while. We got to know each other much better. However, there was a slight problem.
During our conversation I noticed a shadow streaming by in the hallway. It occurred four times. Not wanting to alarm Carmella considering her current state I said nothing.
I convinced Carmella that it was time to move on. We had to go to the fraternity party. Both of us were hungry now. I wasn‟t in the mood for any drinking. I think Carmella was. Her breath was alcohol stained.
But before Carmella stood up she did something quite unusual. She extended her thumb and slowly pulled it towards her mouth. I knew exactly what she was trying to do.
“Stop, Chip, let go of my hand! I mean it!”
“Carmella I mean it too! I don‟t want you to suck on your thumb. This is not the way an undergrad student behaves. If you think I‟m bad, just try to do it in public. Even Ace will get a laugh. In fact, he‟ll probably dump you for another woman.” Carmella put on a fake mile and then stood up and walked towards the hall room exit. Our trip out of the Martin Biology Building was without incident, except for a glancing shadow I saw right before we went outside; that made it a total of five times.
As soon as Carmella stepped outside, I asked her to put me down. I wasn‟t used to being carried around like a little kitty.
I was strong and healthy.
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At first, Carmella paused. Then she frowned, but caved in when I refused to remove my gaze. I was dead serious about walking my own self.
“Carmella, where do we go from here?”
“Chip, we have to pass under that arch and follow the curvy path straight ahead. The fraternity house is just beyond that hill. Thankfully, the sun will be shining on our back not on our faces. However, if you face outward from the front door of the fraternity house the sun will be happily shining on you.” We followed the swerving path up the hill. It was very beautiful indeed. The path cut through a large open area made for the faculty and students. It was like a campus park of sorts. It contained an artificial pond, beautiful trees scattered therein, benches and several gazebos. It was a good place for love-birds. But what I liked most were the beautiful swans in the pond. Regarding this matter there was a warning sign to any person who molested any of the swans. Campus police, and then the local police would be called in. The maximum penalty was a $1500 fine and a ninety day stint in the slammer.
Of course, if the perpetrator was a student expulsion would occur too.
Carmella and I continued trekking until we reached the top of the hill. Thereafter, Carmella pointed to the fraternity house. It was located downhill near a convergence of dormitories and other fraternities and also sororities.
“Chip, I‟m sure you‟re gonna enjoy yourself. But please be careful about joining the fraternity, umm ... I ...”
“Carmella, it‟s okay, you can tell me later. I guess you‟re excited about going to the fraternity party.” I told a fib. I knew very well that Carmella was trying to warn me about something. But given her behaviour I didn‟t want to over-stress her. I decided to speak to her about it later on that day. Naturally, we‟d have to be alone.
A short while later we were on Fraternity Blvd. a party animal neighbourhood containing at least a dozen different fraternities and an identical number of sororities therein.
It was now late in the afternoon and the sun‟s rays were beginning to weaken. That was good news for us.
The fraternity house looked like a giant white mansion, except it was made of cheaper material. The architects did a good job in making the facade look realistic; it was a fake ruby that looked almost like the real thing.
On the lawn, there were two dozen party animals enjoying themselves; men and women having a good time. No doubt, later on in the day and into the night dozens upon dozens more people would converge upon the party.
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Two gargantuan speakers were stationed on opposite ends of the lawn. The volume though was low. Songs from the 1950s and 1960s was being played. It was almost like going back in time.
On our right halfway to the entrance to the fraternity house were three long tables full of food items and on the far right was a chubby male flame broiling burgers, hot dogs and strips of chicken. Understandably, no fries were being served; potato chip bags were stacked therein though. Chips are much easier to store and serve and they‟re light.
Drinks consisted of beer, cheap wine, wine coolers, hard liquor, pop, juice, milk, coffee and tea, and bottled water. I couldn‟t quite understand where the money came from.
“Carmella, where does the money for this food come from?”
“Don‟t worry, honey, many of the fraternity brothers and sisters herein are rich. Furthermore, tuition and room and board at Lansing University is higher than the national average. The university pitches in so long as we clean up and we don‟t get riotous. You see, it‟s a symbiotic relationship.
Chip, you probably haven‟t noticed but the umbrella shades, cups, table cloths, drinks and much else are advertisements for their manufacturers.”
“Carmella, you‟re right. Even the coffee and tea are advertised; they‟re from Tim Hortons.”
“Yes, Chip, this too is a symbiotic relationship. We‟re literally scratching each other‟s backs. Our job in this sector is to advertise the products. You see, the outdoor food servers are designated and trained. We don‟t just pick anyone off the streets. The rules regarding who serves food indoors are more lax.”
“Carmella, are you as hungry and thirsty as I am?”
“Yes, I certainly am! Now, let‟s get some food and drink into our systems.”
Carmella and I approached food table and ordered a burger, chips, baked beans, coleslaw and a pop for each of us.
A red-haired freckled young woman reminded us about dessert. We thanked her diligently and ordered a Tim Hortons blueberry muffin for each of us.
Everyone in line was friendly. I received many smiles, well maybe too many for my own good. I noticed that whenever a female smiled at me Carmella became a bit agitated. The same occurred with males but at a considerably weaker intensity.
“Carmella, where should we eat and drank?”
“Look, let‟s go to the western corner of the lawn. You see the eating area over there?”
I nodded in the affirmative and followed Carmella.” As soon as we sat down I scanned the area, there were eleven individuals seated in our nearby; seven females and four 110
males. I smiled at each one of them. Thankfully, they returned the favour.
However, a beautiful, athletically built brunette amongst them actually got up and approached me. She was wearing a Lansing University women‟s basketball jersey. This girl was over 6 ft. tall and had an aura of confidence and self-esteem.
“Hi Carmella, how are you doing today?”
“I‟m fine, sorry for not noticing you. I guess I‟m that hungry.”
“Carmella, aren‟t you going to introduce me to your beloved kitty friend.”
“This beautiful young woman is my beloved sister. Her name is Laura Anderson.
Laura, this is my beloved kitty friend, Chip Miller. He‟s going to be a fraternity member real soon.”
“Chip, be careful. Some of those fraternity brothers are bad news. Don‟t do anything illegal and don‟t hurt anyone else.
But aside from that, most of them are good fellows. You know how it is; there are rotten apples in every bunch, regardless.
Our sorority has its share of witches too. The main problems are back-biting, envy and jealousy and theft of boyfriends. Some women are natural born relationship busters.
They just love to put a wedge between happy couples.
But Chip, there‟s one more problem and every female student knows about this but is afraid to speak her mind. Gang-rapes and what we call „almost-dead rapes‟ are secret problems of this university. We have to watch out who we talk to about this matter.
Anyway, Chip, I‟m sure you already knew about this, right?”
“Umm, yes, I did? But Carmella, what‟s an almost dead rape?”
“Chip, it‟s when an unconscious woman ... or in rare instances an unconscious man is raped or gang-raped. The person‟s not moving or speaking, only breathing. That‟s why we refer to it as an almost dead rape. But in short, we just say an ADR.”
Carmella and I invited Laura to eat with us. She brought her food over to our table and we conversed while we ate. I was very pleased to meet the Anderson girls. Better yet, they were twins. I couldn‟t tell which of the two was more beautiful.
Their mother must‟ve been beautiful too.
At 6:00 P.M. Laura said goodbye, and then walked away. The last I saw of her she was entering the fraternity house.
“Chip, how did you like my sister?”
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“I think both of you are swell individuals. Your sister surprised me. She‟s so beautiful. Doesn‟t she have a boyfriend or something?”
“Yes, actually, her boyfriend is a fraternity brother named Stud. Remember Stud from the Toyota pickup? He was sitting next to Ace my boyfriend. The two of them are best friends in the whole world.”
And what about you, Chip? Are you attached? No, maybe not, you seem a bit too young. Are you a virgin?”
“Huh, umm ... COUGH! COUGH! COUGH! No way,