Although the public radio announcement was a serious blow to me I had another urgent matter to attend to; I had to eat and drink, not to mention get as far away from Lansing as possible.
That meant leaving Ontario.
My concentration was abruptly interrupted when the driver decided to exit the highway. Initially, I thought something was wrong. Worse yet, that he had noticed my presence. But thankfully, that wasn‟t the case.
The elderly man drove straight to the nearest gas station filled the station wagon with gas and then drove back onto the highway.
I moved like a jaguar in the night, calculating my moves ever so carefully. Noticing a large cooler and several bags of chips beside me was a beautiful treat, indeed. I got to work immediately.
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I carefully lifted the lid of the cooler and peered inside.
After scanning the interior I removed one litre bottle of pop, two sandwiches (one tuna the other salmon) and an ice cream bar.
After closing the lid I rescanned the area for something else to eat. After finding nothing else I re-lifted the lid of the cooler and peered inside searching for the missing article of food that I was craving for but needing to see and smell it to know what it was.
After slowly shifting the ice to the right I found it!
There, before my beautiful eyes was a large plastic container of fruit cocktail, eureka!
Now, I was able to eat my meal and listen in on what the elderly couple were saying. Believe me I wasn‟t trying to be a snoopy cat. I needed some good entertainment during my meal. I didn‟t want to listen to the radio unless they were announcing the termination of the search for the iPhone kitty.
I kept low and quiet, slowly unzipping the zip-lock plastic bags holding my two sandwiches and slowly screwing the cap off the one litre bottle of pop.
As I was about to take my first bite something in me froze my muscles. There was still something missing in this scenario.
I scanned the back of the station wagon then detected the missing link. It was the chips.
I had a choice of barbecue, plain, plain ruffled, sour cream and onion, ketchup (only in Canada) or a bag of corn chips.
I chose an easy option, plain ruffled chips. But there was a slight problem. Opening a bag of chips makes quite a racket especially if you‟re in a vehicle and your right behind two individuals, and you don‟t want to be noticed.
After pondering about the situation for a few seconds I decided to carefully make a surgical-style vertical cut in the bag of chips. I extended one of my claws on my right paw and proceeded to make a three inch long cut.
Now, the ruffled chips were for the taking. I began to eat my meal in earnest making sure not to burp, hiccup and most important of all keeping my mouth closed while eating chips.
Thankfully, I enjoyed the main course of my meal.
Afterwards, I opened the plastic container holding the fruit cocktail. Then, I lifted the lid of the cooler, reached in for a 500 ml container of ice cream and then carefully removed it. I made certain to slowly close the lid afterwards.
After pondering for a short while I removed the lid from the ice cream container and then poured all of the contents of the fruit cocktail in it.
I ate everything in sight, not leaving a single speck of food therein.
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It was now 10:45 P.M. and the couple were getting ready for the unthinkable. Until now, I‟d basically ignored most of what they were saying.
“Oh, Hubert, I love you so much. We‟ve been driving for so long. Don‟t you think we need a rest, honey?”
“Yes, Agatha. But there‟s something else. I‟m getting that urge again. I know we‟re ninety years-old but as long as we feel an attraction to each other and are able to perform, then we should do as we please.”
Agatha placed her hand on Hubert‟s right thigh and then she smiled at him. I guess that was enough to get him really going.
“Agatha, put your hand right there, please.”
“Oh Hubert, c‟mon, not while you‟re driving. You may run us off the highway. We may even die.”
“Okay, I can‟t wait. Traffic is very light. Why don‟t we pull over into the shoulder and then we can make love to each other. We‟ll do it really fast like usual.”
“Yes, Hubert, that sounds really nice! Pull over ... right now, baby. I‟m ready and I‟m all yours!”
No, I couldn‟t believe what I was hearing. The last thing I wanted to hear and see were to octogenarians, wrinkly as giant iguanas going at it. I‟d just eaten. Believe me, I couldn‟t imagine the consequences.
As soon as Hubert turned the station wagon onto the shoulder I reacted instinctively. Now, before I tell you what I did, understand that normally I‟m not a violent kitty, especially when dealing with really old people. But as they say desperate times call for desperate measures.
I stood on my hind legs and then took hold of the heads of the elderly couple. Then I gently smashed them together. Hubert and Agatha were out cold.
I leaped onto Hubert‟s chest then adjusted my posture so as to stand on my hind legs. Afterwards, I took hold of his cane with my right paw. In effect, I was steering with my left paw. I used the cane to press on the pedals.
I was now driving a station wagon full of gas in an eastwardly direction. My intent was to drive until there was no gas left in the station wagon or until the octogenarians awakened. I was hoping on the former scenario. The latter would certainly create big problems.
I steered the station wagon back onto the highway driving at a steady 60 mph. I didn‟t want to go too slow as this would draw too much attention.
Every time a vehicle passed us I pressed my body up against Hubert‟s chest in order to better hide myself. Furthermore, I made no eye contact with any passersby. It appeared to have worked.
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I drove without any let-up until pre-dawn. No doubt, I was much closer to eastern Ontario now. However, I wasn‟t taking any chances of being spotted, let alone being apprehended and taken back to Lansing to stand trial for two murders that I had absolutely nothing to do with.
At 4:45 A.M. I entered an exit ramp then headed for the nearest rest area.
As soon as I entered the rest area I parked the station wagon in a far off corner away from the restaurant and Tourist Information Booth. Lucky for me there was hardly another vehicle in the rest area.
I checked Hubert‟s pulse and then Agatha‟s. Thankfully, they were both alive. In fact their breathing appeared to be regular and clear.
Soon Hubert and Agatha would awaken, probably thinking that they entered the rest area to get a snooze. But I would have to exit the station wagon before they awakened.
I lifted the lid of the cooler, grabbed a couple of sandwiches, a 500 ml carton of chocolate milk, fruit cocktail and then closed the lid. I also snatched a fresh bag of plain potato chips while at it. Knowing that I couldn‟t carry all of the food and drink out of the station wagon at one time I decided to carry one article at a time to a wooded area behind the restaurant.
It took me a short while to get all of the articles to a safe designated area behind a large tree.
Before eating and drinking I peered at Hubert and Agatha from the tree to make certain they were all right. To my utter surprise Hubert and Agatha had awakened. I was lucky to have left in the nick of time.
I went back to my food and drink and then began to munch out in earnest, pondering about my next move. Naturally, I‟d have to leave the rest area as soon as I finished my meal.
This time though, I ate slowly, relishing what I had before my eyes. Every time I‟d put something into my mouth I developed goose-bumps all over my body.
After finishing my meal I tossed my garbage into a nearby dumpster. I didn‟t want to be a litter bug.
Instead of moving on I decided to perch on a tree branch and hit the sack. I needed a long rest considering how much I drove. Holding Hubert‟s cane for all those long hours and feeling apprehensive every time someone passed us took much energy out of me.
I awakened at noon refreshed and ready to take on the world. I needed to continue eastwards because I wasn‟t quite far away from the APB (all points bulletin) ring.
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I decided to hitch a ride off someone the way I did with Hubert and Agatha.
I waited patiently for an elderly single or a couple, or someone who was handicapped. My intent though wasn‟t to hurt anyone it was only to hitch a ride. My „smashing‟ or „knocking‟
of heads in my previous ride was the result of extraordinary circumstances.
Suddenly, I spotted a little girl, perhaps six years-old exiting the restaurant nearby. The thing that drew me to her was the gargantuan oatmeal cookie in her hand. Maybe, if I‟d been starving to death snatching the cookie would‟ve been an option.
But I couldn‟t do that. However, oatmeal cookies are very delicious and to be honest with you this particular cookie was simply too large for the young girl. I was worried about her.
The best thing for her to do was to share it with a friendly kitty; this is the thought that kept ringing in my head.
I slowly approached the young girl, trying not to look menacing but friendly. I retracted my claws and kept my canines well-hidden.
As soon as I got to within a few feet of the little girl I noticed that the glare of the sun was hitting her directly in the face. I moved to my left so when she looked at me the sun would be predominately pointing its rays on the back of her head.
“Hi little girl, how are you? What‟s your name and where are you from?”
“Umm, my mommy and daddy told me to never speak to strangers. It‟s a very dangerous thing for young kids to do.”
“Don‟t worry, honey. I‟m a very friendly kitty. I just wanna be your beloved friend. Besides, your parents were warning you about human and canine strangers, not kitties.”
“There‟s my dad right there! He‟s coming out of the restaurant. Kitty, do you see him?”
“Yes, but ... is he kitty friendly?”
“Don‟t worry my dad‟s friendly to most people, even cats.” Just in case, I placed myself on yellow alert, not expecting combat but staying alert and ready to upgrade my attention status to red alert in a flash.
The girl I was talking to was cute, indeed. Her hair was light brown her eyes were gray-blue coloured, her skin was olive-coloured and she was wearing a long blue and green dress.
She was wearing athletic shoes and the cookie in her hand looked like a track and field discus.
The girl‟s father approached us with a smile on his face.
But that‟s not all as he was also carrying a bag of food in his left hand and had a large drink in his right.
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“Dad, this is my new kitty friend. He‟s really nice and I want him to be your friend too.”
The little girl‟s father was built like a scrawny scientist who‟d never worked out in his life. He was wearing the typical dark slacks, white shirt, thick-rimmed glasses and black-coloured shoes. He was roughly 5 ft. 6 in. tall. I wondered what kind of a woman could marry the little girl‟s father.
But as soon as the man approached me and began to converse I saw and felt the inner beauty in him.
“Melanie, aren‟t you going to offer your friend some of that delicious oatmeal cookie?”
“Sure dad, but, like can we give him a ride if he needs one?”
“Wait a minute, let me ask him?
“Kitty, are you going eastward and do you need a ride?”
“Yes sir, I really need a ride. I want to reach eastern Ontario and perhaps further east sometime in the near future.”
“Melanie, go sit in our van, okay, I have something important to discuss with this beautiful kitty.” Melanie walked over to a dark van, entered it and then teased me by flashing her cookie through the window. But every time I glanced at her she‟d quickly pull back her hand. I guess she didn‟t want her father to see her misbehaving.
Melanie‟s father dropped to one knee as though he were pleading with me.
“I‟m Woody Norman. I‟m glad to meet you, kitty.
Listen, kitty, I decided to take a three month vacation across Canada to rest my daughter up. You see my wife Eleanor passed away just four months ago.
My daughter Melanie had a psychological breakdown or you could call it a nervous breakdown. It was so bad I had her committed for a whole month.
She‟s on meds and she still thinks that her mother is alive. Like, umm, at the moment Melanie thinks that mom‟s back home in Halifax.
Please, kitty, if you help comfort my daughter I‟ll give you a free ride to wherever you‟re going so long as it‟s eastward. Furthermore, I‟ll feed you. How about it and what‟s your name?”
Woody‟s demeanour changed abruptly. His face became pale and his eyes became watery. I accepted his offer.
“Woody, I wholeheartedly accept your offer. But there‟s something that I need right now, I want half of Melanie‟s oatmeal cookie. I‟m going nuts thinking about it.”
“Yes, but what‟s your name again?”
“Oh, sorry Woody, my name is Chip Miller. And I too am glad to meet you.”
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I followed Woody into his van sitting shotgun on Melanie‟s lap. A short while later we were off.
“Hi, what‟s your name beautiful kitty?”
“My name is Chip Miller. Your dad said that I could have half of your oatmeal cookie. I‟m not trying to be jumpy but I want my half right now!”
Melanie broke the oatmeal cookie in two, kissed me between the ears and then gave me both pieces. I was stunned and confused.
“Melanie, I only wanted half of your cookie. You shouldn‟t feel obligated to give me the whole cookie.”
“That‟s all right, Chip, I love you.”
“Chip, my daughter‟s a real sweet girl, isn‟t she?” I nodded my head in approval and then grinned at Woody. I felt a rush of relief for meeting such a nice pair.
For the next several hours the three of us didn‟t say much.
The constant humming of the engine and the long highway made us a bit groggy.
Late in the afternoon the three of us began to feel hunger pangs in our stomachs. It was definitely time to eat.
“Guys, how are we doing?”
Melanie and I grinned at Woody indicating a thumbs-up. Now, it was time to eat.
“Listen, do you want to eat and drink from what we have in the cooler or do you want me to take you out to a restaurant?”
“How about we get ourselves some burgers?
Okay, Chip, being that Melanie isn‟t objecting and I‟m basically neutral on the matter we‟ll take the next exit and then head for some burgers.”
Woody drove for another four or five miles before turning into the exit ramp.
A few minutes later, Woody found a restaurant called BURGER
JOINT. No doubt, many of the patrons were travellers.
Woody drove to the drive-thru and then came to a halt as soon as we were parallel to the BURGER JOINT drive thru booth he spoke.
“Hi guys, how may I help you?”
“Okay, I‟d like a half-pounder with everything on it, large fries, large diet pop and a blueberry muffin,” said Woody.
“I‟d like the same thing but without any ice in my drink,” I said.
“Umm, I‟d like a petite burger with extra ketchup, mustard and pickles, small fries, small pop and a chocolate chip cookie,” said Melanie.
“Thank you. Please wait a moment so I can calculate your tab.”
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After roughly a brief pause, the amount due was indicated.
Woody pulled out his wallet and handed the BURGER JOINT worker some money. Afterward, Woody received his change.
As soon as we received our order Woody said the customary
„thank you‟ and then drove off. He drove for three blocks before parking in front of a mini-park.
The three of us were so hungry we didn‟t want to leave the van and cross the street to the park. We went ahead and pigged out.
The food eaten was fantastic. I felt that Woody had eaten at the BURGER JOINT before but didn‟t bring up the subject.
After all, I was literally getting a free ride from him.
After we ate, Woody collected the garbage and then tossed it into a dumpster across the street on the edge of the mini-park.
Woody then returned to his van and drove back onto the highway.
Woody didn‟t say a word for three long hours. It was probably because he wanted me to comfort Melanie but was afraid to interfere or make matters worse.
And comfort Melanie I did. We conversed continuously without taking a break. Melanie was a really sweet little girl.
Unfortunately, she had some serious emotional issues.
It‟s tough losing your mother at that early of an age.
Throughout our conversation Melanie kept making reference to her mother; she thought her mother was waiting for her in Halifax.
I saved my cat therapy skills until the end of my ride. As soon as we were fifty miles north of Ottawa Woody gently nudged me indicating that this is where I should disembark. He wasn‟t throwing me out of his van. On the contrary, I‟d previously given him instructions to let me off near the city of Ottawa.
I asked Woody to pull over but to keep his engine running.
What I was going to do wasn‟t going to take long.
I stood on my hind legs, cupped Melanie‟s cheeks with my paws, made direct eye contact with her and then spoke my mind.
“Melanie, you‟re a lovely little girl. I understand that your mother had recently passed away. Please, don‟t blame yourself or your father.
Everyone gets sick at one time or another. Death is a normal end to life. Everyone must die at some point. Even the greatest men and women of yesteryear died. Their counterparts of today must do likewise.
Melanie, I love you, but I know for a fact that your father loves you much more than I could ever love you. Please be kind and loving towards your father. I know he probably doesn‟t show his pain too often, but he loved your mother dearly. That‟s why he married her in the first place.”
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I brought my face closer to Melanie‟s giving her a gentle kiss on each cheek and then on her forehead.
“Melanie, please don‟t deny reality. Don‟t deny what‟s going on around you. Otherwise, you‟ll burden yourself and your father.
Melanie, please take this as softly as you can, your mother has passed away. She‟s in another world now. Ask your father if you can visit her plot regularly.
Melanie, trust me. I‟m a cat. Cats know all about death and grieving. Many of my people have been killed. In fact, millions of them are killed every year in shelters others are victims of road kill, sadism especially during Halloween and regarding other superstitions. The hoarding of cats and dogs is one more issue to be dealt with. Worse yet, I don‟t like humans who are cat-haters. It really sickens me.”
I kissed Melanie again on each cheek and then gently stroked her hair until she smiled at me. She in turn kissed me between the ears. Then she petted my sides and back several times.
We knew that it was time to say goodbye. Woody and Melanie had teary eyes. No doubt, they‟d never seen a cat as incredible and intelligent as me.
Woody waved his hand in a goodbye gesture. I returned the favour by lifting my right foreleg and pawing it in the air.
I leaped out of the window and then continued my trek onwards, hoping to escape the clutches of the law forever.
I walked eastward until dusk. I turned right on an exit ramp as soon as there was an opening in traffic. I kept walking until I was near a rest area and a long street. The rest area was in front of me and on my right. My other choice was continue eastward on Mulberry Street. I looked to the horizon eastward but didn‟t see an ending to the street.
Not wanting any more delays in my trek, I chose to walk on Mulberry Street, and for the following hour I continued unabated until I reached a town sign that read Welcome to Colville Ontario.
I decided to enter Coleville but as soon as I did I realized that there was something unusual in the air. Glancing up at the moon it appeared several times its normal size.
Furthermore, I hadn‟t encountered any traffic for quite some time; neither heading east nor west.
But that thought wasn‟t enough to stop my momentum. I entered Coleville apprehensive but intent on continuing.
Suddenly, I found myself being physically sucked into the town with incredible force.
I realized that I‟d made a fatal error. I hadn‟t noticed the town sign until I was standing right beside it. This was 136
another one of those creepy towns. The fact that I was sucked into it was no consolation.
Although it was night time the moon‟s reflective light was powerful and the street lights lit the area sufficiently.
I scanned the area, noticing an array of beautiful homes. I had a choice of several streets to choose from. I decided to take a right. I wanted to stay at the edge of town at least for the time being. This way, if I needed to make a fast escape there‟d be no chance of getting lost.
A sign up ahead read Underwood Street. But as soon as I set my paws onto it I felt a cool rush throughout my entire body.
But this rush wasn‟t a happy rush. It was a terror rush. I remembered what‟d happened to me earlier when I entered a creepy town.
I turned back and then ran to the peripheral of town. But as soon as I was within ten feet of the exit I was catapulted back at least twice that distance into the air. Thankfully, I was able to right myself before landing.
Shockingly, I realized that I was trapped in Coleville. I felt fear, terror and apprehension. At least last time I was able to flee danger. I had no idea what I‟d find in this place.
I decided to enter a residential area and walk through the darkest part of the street. I had to worry about people walking on the sidewalk and others peering through windows.
I retraced my footsteps crossing Underwood Street and then heading into Lake Blvd. I walked in the middle of the street with eyes and ears working forcefully and my legs ready to sprint away from danger in a split second, if need be.
I continued walking for another twenty minutes. Lake Blvd.
was many miles long. I couldn‟t see the end of it. But there was something bothering me. My animal instincts were telling me that someone was watching me. This being or beings weren‟t prey animals. I felt like the prey and the watcher/s were the predators. To make matters worse, I had no idea what exactly I was dealing with.
As I continued to walk I was planning an escape from the eyes of t