Manifesto: Canada Cat by Bassam Imam - HTML preview

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I’ve been trailing a very important person for some time now. Not because I’m a bounty hunter, but out of love and attachment.

I NEED TO FIND MY SON! I NEED TO SEE HIM! I NEED TO LOVE HIM! I NEED TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM! I NEED TO HOLD HIM! I NEED TO EMBRACE HIM! I NEED TO KISS HIM! I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HIM! I NEED TO TELL HIM THAT I AM HIS FATHER! I NEED TO TELL HIM THE TRUE STORY OF HIS LIFE! I NEED TO BE WITH HIM! I NEED TO BE LOVED BY HIM! I NEED TO BE HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I NEED HIS RE-ASSURANCE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HE’S BEEN DOING IN HIS LIFE! I NEED HIM TO BE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD! I NEED HIM IN ORDER TO FEEL COMPLETE!

My son is the product of a top secret hybridization experiment conducted by the best scientists on Planet X; Western Division. I was part of this experiment. I’m from a very powerful and influential family.

Our scientists were ‘manufacturing’ hybrid species for population and military purposes.
The military hybrids experiments were for the sole purpose of manufacturing fighting drones. The idea was to overwhelm our enemy with super-sentries.
My semen was to be inseminated into a giant feline-like creature similar to what they call a ‘big cat’ on earth. However, our big cats ‘were’ three times the size of modern day male Bengal tigers.
At the time of the hybridization experiments our planet was enduring a horrible civil war. In fact, this is the primary reason why we conducted these experiments.
Our pre-civil war population was an astounding fifty billion. Upon leaving Planet X our population had dropped to a mere half a billion inhabitants and was still dropping at an astounding pace.
All humanoids above the age of ten (males and females) and top animal predators on our planet were involved in the ‘Great Civil War’. In essence, even our animals were being butchered. But at the same time, they were also combatants. In addition, no prisoners were taken from either side. This was a war with no mercy, compassion, or forgiveness.
Our war was fought between east and west. Mind you, there’s no comparison between Earth’s east and west and our own. This is a major simplification of the problem. Unfortunately, like your planet, Earth, we too had our tribalism, racism, and a host of other ‘isms’.
Planet X, if it still exists in its original form, is roughly five times the size of Earth. Our ecosystem, species, cultures, and environment varies from Earth’s.
A valuable deposit of ‘Zygobat’ estimated at ten million tons was found in an area referred to as the neutral zone. The neutral zone is located within a deep valley which was inhabited by isolated populations and a very rich ecosystem. The discovery of the Zygobat deposit ignited the first major spark of our Great Civil War. And sadly, there seemed to be no end in sight.
To compound our problem the neutral zone was located on the border between east and west. We had many other borders scattered throughout our planet but the Zygobat discovery split our entire planet’s inhabitants into two combating sides. The level of greed for this valuable mineral caused some horrible and ferocious fighting.
Prior to leaving Planet X our level of technology was eons more advanced that Earth’s. I don’t think this is the case today. The horrible death, destruction, and devastation had all but demolished all of our civilizations.
Zygobat is the equivalent of your petroleum but without any of the pollution. Like petroleum it is in a liquid-like form. Zygobat is found just beneath the ground or in caves. Also, it can sometimes be found underneath streams. But like petroleum it is located in ‘designated areas’.
It was said by the elders that long ago a select few of our ancient scientists discovered Zygobat but chose to keep it a secret in fear of ... well ... a Great Civil War.
Because I was from a very rich and powerful bloodline I was permitted to donate my semen for ‘special reproduction purposes’.
A sample of my semen was supposed to go ‘into’ a special female for fertilization. She was to be chosen from a list of our highest stock of females.
A select few of our most notable males had decided to leave Planet X. We estimated that our humanoid population would be driven back to savagery soon.
I was scheduled to leave Planet X a few days after the insemination. A special one-person craft was reserved for me.
Unfortunately, after I left the craft I received one last series of messages from Central Command before it was destroyed: “WE ARE FINISHED; YOUR SEMEN WAS ACCIDENTALLY IMPLANTED INTO A FELINE (MINIATURE SUB-SPECIES); YOUR SON’S NAME IS COREY JAMESON; APPEARANCE NOT HUMANOID BUT FELINE; JUST SENT OFF INTO SPACE TOWARDS BLUE PLANET THAT IS THIRD FROM ITS SUN IN SECTOR NUMBER 5567; GOOD LUCK; DO NOT RETURN; MESSAGE COMPLETE!”
As you can see I am in a desperate situation. I’ve been travelling for what appears to be eons upon eons. That’s what happens when you search for a loved one.
My craft was MODEL #1231A the best of its kind. Unfortunately, I entered an unknown entity which caused my craft to be catapulted into a gravitational pull of a planet.
Upon entering the atmosphere I waited until it was safe to eject from my craft. I worse a special suit and strapped a minirocket propulsion device onto my back. Thankfully, the device worked and I was able to land safely.
I ended up landing in a barren area; desert-like with no life or water. I had three days of supplies on hand but didn’t wait until then to search for a way out.
After many hours of searching I came across a white cloud. I was desperate and knew that I had to take a chance otherwise I’d have to face imminent dehydration, starvation, and exhaustion.
As soon as I entered the cloud I took notice of a door. Considering it was my only option I took the chance and entered it.
I ended up in a castle that was built thousands of years ago. However, the technological gadgets within it were of a considerably more modern type.
Anyway, I strolled through the castle, studied it and also learned that there were two exits; one through a doorway and the other through a foggy zone.
To get back to the gist of my story, I’ve been searching for Corey Jameson, my beloved son for quite some time now. I almost caught up with him but it seems like he moves right before I find him.
One thing I’m certain of; he left the castle from the ‘foggy exit’. This is the facade of the castle.
I’ve been in Montreal for a month now and I’m closing in on my son’s location. Thankfully, I have a replicator at hand. It’s roughly the size of a calculator and can replicate any of the necessities including money and official documents; which are easy to forge. My replicator technology is many centuries ahead of anything on Earth.
I chose to live a few blocks west of Greene Avenue. I found that the English language has been easy to learn. I’m fluent in the language. Soon I’ll learn French and another language or two for enhancement purposes. No one suspects that I’m from another planet. After all I am a humanoid.
I have managed to avoid ‘the passes’ from women who are interested in me. For the time being I had to be careful about who I befriended. Maybe later I’d take up marriage. There were plenty of beautiful, intelligent women on Earth. All I had to do was choose one. Now, how she reacted to my story was a different matter.
Regardless, my primary duty is to find my son! It didn’t occur to me until later to hack into the city’s and banks’ systems to get the information I needed.
I used the technology of my replicator to get on the net and to find any record of Corey Jameson.
Eureka! I found it! A lease that was co-signed by my son! He was ‘rooming’ with a woman named Cynthia Corbett. I now discovered the most important fact; where my son lived!
I waited until Sunday morning, a time of less traffic and many hung-over pedestrians, to wait across the street from the building that my son lived in. I walked stood, sat, and waited for my beloved son.
I’d arrived there at 10:30 A.M. and had no problems until 1:00 P.M. A patrol car pulled over in front of me and the two officers therein made it clear that I wasn’t welcome to ‘browse’ the area without moving along.
“Excuse me, sir ... are you waiting for someone?”
“Oh ... yes ... my I’m sorry, I suspect that my wife’s having an affair with another man. He lives in that building.”
“We’ve gotten three complaints so far of a man loitering in the area. You fit the description.”
I got the message. I turned and then walked away. I decided to go to Pharmaprix to buy some pop. I was down and out, like the skid row winos that I passed by.
One of them stood up and spoke some kind words to me. I think he knew that I was bummed out.
“Hey, guy, cheer up! You’ll get what you want sooner or later. Just hang in there. I do the same thing whenever I run out of money. That bottle of booze will be in my hand sooner or later.”
“Have a nice day and thank you for the kind words! I really needed those words at this time.”
I went to Pharmaprix and got myself a one litre bottle of caffeinated diet pop.
I wasn’t quite hungry but I needed the liquid and the caffeine. Not to mention the taste.
I decided to stand diagonally across the street near the bus stop and the heavy activity in the computer building of Concordia University. This is a much better place to stand and wait. There are people waiting for the different buses and passersby. Although it was Sunday there were still enough people to camouflage me.
My lucky break came at 2:05 P.M. That’s when I saw a beautiful young woman with long jet black hair, cat eyes, and wearing a million dollar smile on her face exit the apartment building carrying Corey in her arms. They looked like they loved each other dearly.
Although I was happy for Corey, I was his father. Therefore, it was imperative that I meet him soon. It was I who was supposed to carry him in my arms.
I decided to follow them wherever they went, and to slowly but surely move in for the ultimate introduction.
The young woman carried Corey until reaching Mackay Street. That’s when she gently placed him on the ground. Afterwards, they continued on their eastward trek.
They took a right on Peel Avenue and then entered the Mont Royal Building. I followed them faithfully.
They went downstairs and proceeded to walk to the Eaton Centre passing through three mini-malls.
Upon reaching the Eaton Centre Corey and the young woman had a bitter conversation about where to go. I tuned in to what they were saying.
“Corey, let’s stroll through the Centre first. Then when we’re famished we can go downstairs to the food court. I need to stretch my legs.”
“Cynthia, I want to eat right now! We can shop, walk, and browse all we want to afterwards. It’s better to eat first and then digest your food through walking. Cynthia, we eat now or I go back to the apartment. I want an immediate answer!”
“Okay Corey, we’ll go down to the food court and eat. But I want to eat a vegetarian plate from Thai Express or Tiki Ming. I’ll make up my mind after I smell both food stands.”
“Okay honey, you decide where we eat. But today I want vegetarian.”
They went downstairs to the food court and then browsed at the various food stands.
They ended up eating at Burger King, ordering a veggie burger trio, everything extra on both of the burgers, super sized fries for both, super sized diet coke, and two apple pies.
I was right behind them. As soon as they ordered I had the same thing. Corey seemed to be eyeing me. Cynthia didn’t notice me. It was like I wasn’t there. It was then that I pictured myself in an Earth-like marriage situation. I would be married to Cynthia and Corey would be with me for the rest of my life. We’d become a happy North American family. But for now, I had two individuals to befriend. It would be a delicate and possibly painful process. There was no telling how Corey or Cynthia would react to my presence.
We received our orders at the same time. The cashier smiled at us and made reference to our ordering the exact same thing. Corey smiled at me while Cynthia gave a blank face. I just wanted her to smile at me. That would be a first step in my plan; a vital step indeed!
After grabbing several ketchup and pepper packets I carried my food tray behind Corey and Cynthia but not too close as to appear like I was following them.
They ended up sitting in front of a television monitor. Nice place to eat.
I sat roughly twenty five feet away from them in an inconspicuous place.
I made certain to eat at their pace. Our meals were delicious and thankfully there was no incident until afterwards.
As soon as Cynthia took hold of the food trays three young men approached her; on stood directly in here field of vision. He, the ring leader, gave her the ‘elevator eyes’ and then asked her a series of ‘naughty questions.”
“Baby, would you like to be our special kitty for the night. Or maybe the four of us can go to a bar first, get wasted, and then we can go to our place and have a really nice part. Don’t worry, we won’t hurt you. If your kitty wants to tag along ‘she’ can. Well, what do you say?”
“No, I’m happily married and I’ll never cheat on my husband. I have three beautiful daughters at home. If you want, you can help me baby sit them. I need a strong man to babysit my daughters while my husband and I are out. Well, what do you say?”
The three young men scrammed. They looked like they’d just seen a ghost. Lucky for them; Corey had turned around, arched his back, bared his canines and claws, hissed at them, and was about to beat the ring leader senseless. This happened so fast I don’t know which action Cynthia’s or Corey’s made them scram. Anyway, Cynthia had to hold back Corey. He was intent on chasing them down and doing what he thought he had to. After all, they’d insulted his best friend in the whole world while they were eating, and in front of many people.
“Corey, please ... don’t kick their asses! Please don’t make a scene! Otherwise, we may be kicked out of the Eaton Centre! Let them go their own way; sooner or later they’ll mess with the wrong person.”
“Okay Cynthia, I’ll hold back my anger! But, I don’t like it when people like ‘them’ bother others; especially if ‘the others’ are you and I.”
I had to learn about ‘Cynthia’s husband’; also her ‘three daughters’. Was it a ploy to make the three young men disappear, or was it a fact?
I tuned in to what Corey and Cynthia said afterwards. They got up with Cynthia carried both food trays in her hands, and then walked over to the waste disposal.
After tossing the garbage into the waste disposal Cynthia placed the dirty food trays in their respective place and then she and Corey walked away.
Naturally, I followed them like a bloodhound on a trail. I had to hear what Cynthia had to say.
“Corey, I’ve used that line before. It always works, but only with the non-violent ones. The aggressive ones need to be screamed at, shouted at, or physically assaulted. If that doesn’t work then security or the police need to get involved. I was willing to scream at those creeps if need be. However, taking the easier way is always better if it works.
Corey, I want you to help me find Mr. Right. And ... he can’t be a fleshy android. I want a real man! I want a real human who’ll treat us with kindness and respect! I want a fertile man who’ll give me babies! I want babies!”
“Cynthia, I have a feeling that Mr. Right is a lot closer to us than you could ever imagine. I think within minutes, hours, or at the most days, Mr. Right will appear before our eyes. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want you to be ‘bitch-like’ around him; at least in your initial conversation with him.”
“Corey, you don’t love me!”
“Cynthia, I do love you! Please, lower your voice. People are looking at us.”
“Corey, let’s keep walking. I don’t want these people to gawk at us. It’s impolite and it gives me the creeps. I feel like they know about my gang-rape.
Cynthia, don’t give up! Keep at it! I’ll help you find Mr. Right! And, this time he’ll be a real person in the flesh and not a fleshy android! He’ll be a Homo sapiens like you! I promise that! And, I shall convince him to treat you well! If you want babies, I’ll convince him to impregnate you. Then, you can become a mother.”
“Corey, you’re the best cat in the whole world! I can always rely on you to be there when I need you. Now, let’s walk through several of Montreal’s beautiful malls. But first we must wash up.
Corey and Cynthia went to the restrooms. Cynthia entered the woman’s while Corey entered the men’s. I entered the men’s right behind Corey. Washing up after eating is very important. Even cats should do it.
After we exited he restrooms I followed Corey and Cynthia through Ville Marie, a mini-mall located near the main branch of the RBC and then they went on to Bonaventure.
Corey and Cynthia stopped at a Tim Horton’s to get coffee and muffins. I waited patiently for them to finish before I gave my order; which by the way was identical to theirs; extra large coffee with cream and sugar and a blueberry muffin.
I followed Corey and Cynthia but made certain they didn’t take notice of me. If they had, I would’ve been discovered. I didn’t want this to occur as it was a bit too early for that. I realized from their conversation and their lifestyle that the situation was a bit more delicate. Be certain, I wasn’t going to wait weeks or months to approach them. I intended to make my move in a few days at the most.
For some reason I’d fallen in love with Cynthia Corbett. Sure she was the most beautiful woman in the whole world, but that’s not enough for marriage or true love. I figured she was the female Homo sapiens. Cynthia was the Earthling who should become my wife for life!
I’d developed feelings that I never had on Planet X. Things are a quite different therein. Our relationships contained less emotion; that means less love. We were at a midway point between Homo sapiens and Romulans or Vulkans.
For the first time in my life I felt my pulse speed up, blood pressure rise, breathing deepen and speed up, and my palms; they were sweaty. By human terms, I was in love!
It was now part of my game plan to befriend Corey and Cynthia. I’d marry Cynthia and we’d become a typical North American family. I had money, knowledge, strength, and much love.
Being that Cynthia was an extremely attractive young woman I’d have to move fast. The thought of her befriending and then marrying another man broke my heart; even in an imaginative case scenario. That’s how much I loved her!”
Corey and Cynthia enjoyed a long chat in a beautiful seating area. Nobody was there to bother them. In fact, I was the only person in the area. I guess most of the regulars were out enjoying the beautiful weather.
“Corey do you love cream or sugar more?”
“I love both, but I love you the most?”
“Corey, you’re a sweet kitty!”
That’s exactly what I would’ve said to her. In fact, I wished that she’d asked me that question instead of ‘my son’.
I decided to break off my trailing so I could return to the Eaton Centre and purchase a kitty glove for Corey. I wanted him to be a little league ball player.
I got up walked away and continued walking until I reached Sports Experts. I took a deep breath and then entered the store. Immediately, a young man wearing a ‘Robert’ tag approached me. He was friendly and helpful.
“Hi sir, how are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“And ... is there anything you need help with?”
“Yes, please direct me to the baseball equipment section.”
“Sure, just follow me, sir.”
I followed Robert to the baseball equipment section and then told him that I wanted a good brand name for a close kitty friend of mine.
“Okay, sir, over here we have Wilson and Spalding gloves. The best we have in the Sports Experts store.
Oh, wait is your kitty friend a right hander or a southpaw?”
I had to think back to when we were eating at the Eaten Centre and at Bonaventure. An image of Corey entered my mind and I soon began to fill in the shady area.
“My kitty friend is a southpaw. Yes, he certainly is a left hander.”
“Okay, sir, we have this kitty glove here that a one size fits all type. Go ahead and feel the texture of the kitty glove.”
“This glove is very nice! Please wrap two of them; identical to this one. I’ll meet you at the cash register.”
After paying for the two kitty gloves I decided to head back home. I was exhausted and needed to get a good night’s rest for the big interview.
As I walked home I kept thinking about how nice it would be to have my son at my side and to be married to the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
I left the Eaton Centre and then walked up to Sherbrooke Avenue. Afterwards, I scanned the area and then proceeded to walk home in a westward direction.
The area looked very nice with tourists now filling much of the walking space. It was 5:00 P.M and time was passing by. As such, I decided to pick up my pace in order to get home early.
I walked from McGill to Atwater Street and then sat down on the curb in order to rest. I began to ponder about the home that I left. Planet X was finished! I was finally able to be honest with myself. Earth was my new home!
I got up after fifteen minutes of pondering and then continued walking westward. It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that I got home.
I opened the door to my apartment, locked it behind me, and then disrobed. I took several deep breaths and then went to the restroom.
I entered the shower, adjusted the water pressure and temperature and then enjoyed twenty minutes of continuous waterfall. It felt so nice I had to drag my own self out of the restroom.
I exited the restroom in my robe and then walked to my bedroom. Upon entering my bedroom I tossed my bathrobe onto my bed and then put on my home clothing.
Afterwards, I returned my bathrobe to the restroom making sure that it was correctly hanged on the hook. Otherwise, it’ll drop onto the linoleum floor. I certainly didn’t want that.
I decided to delay my sleep for several hours. Trying to sleep too early or when you don’t feel like it will usually cause a person to toss and turn for much of the night.
I entered the kitchen, opened the fridge and then removed two pre-made roast beef sandwiches, a sealed container of potato salad, a 1 litre bottle of pop, a slice of lemon meringue pie, and a small can of fruit cocktail. I didn’t want to sleep on an empty stomach.
I carried everything to the living room except the small can of fruit cocktail. I used a can opener to remove the lid, poured the contents into a plastic bowl, tossed the can into the waste basket, and then carried the bowl to the living room. As soon as I sat down I realized that I’d forgotten to bring along a spoon for the fruit salad.
I hustled to back to the kitchen, grabbed a large spoon and then returned to the living room. Alas! I turned on my television to watch a DVD of an X-Files episode from the fourth season. I sat back and enjoyed my meal!
After finishing my meal I took everything back to the kitchen, went to the restroom to brush, floss, and clean up. Then I exited the restroom and went to the kitchen where I washed all of the dishes and utensils.
I returned to the living room to finish off the X-files episode, which like many of the others was very enjoyable.
After finishing my television viewing I put on my outdoor clothing and then left my apartment. I ended up taking a short walk to help digest my meal before hitting the sack.
Thankfully, nothing bad happened during my walk. I was able to walk for a half an hour and then return home. I said hello to the doorman and then proceeded to enter the apartment building. A short while later I found myself in my pyjamas with a novel in my hands.
I read for an hour before I began to slouch over in my chair. That’s when I put down my book and went to the restroom. After relieving myself I washed my hands and face with warm water and hand soap. After drying myself I exited the restroom and then slithered into my king sized bed.
I was out cold until the next morning. I awakened at 9:00 A.M. with the intent to call the Montreal Little League Head Office.
I waited until 10:30 A.M. before making my call. I was very anxious to become a volunteer for the Montreal Lions.
I took hold of my cell phone which was on a table lamp next to my bed and made my call. I decided to lie down on my bed in order to feel relax. I didn’t want the person on the other end to get the impression that I was weak and nervous; therefore not eligible for the job. The receptionist answered the call after three rings.
“Hello, Montreal Little League Head Office, this is Margaret Allison speaking. How may I help you?”
“Hello Ms. Allison. My name is Bassam Imam and I called the head office yesterday about a possible job as a volunteer for the Montreal Lions.”
“Yes Bassam, I assume that you didn’t fill out a form.”
“Actually ... no, the person I spoke to yesterday told me to go to your office with information pertaining to my full name, home address, phone number, email address, police certificate certifying that I have a clean record, and the reason why I want to do this job; written down of course.”
“Bassam, the woman who answered your call was a temporary fill-in. I was sick yesterday. The position of manager is still open. Would you like to come in for an interview?”
“Yes, I certainly would!”
“We’re located near Lionel Groulx Metro Station and the Georges Vanier Library. Are you familiar with the area?”
“Yes, I certainly am.”
“Bassam, before I forget, please come by at 2:00 P.M. for your appointment with Mr. Barrister. Disregard what the receptionist told you yesterday. Actually, she was fired for incompetence. We’d intended to have her in for one work day; we fired her after six hours of work. She was a first class airhead psycho.
“Okay, I’ll give you our address before explaining to you what we need. Please come here with two pieces of identification, at least one of them should contain a picture. Both pieces of identification must be official documents such as a driver’s license or medical insurance card. No library cards, student identification cards or anything of the sort. Your address needs to be on one of the pieces of identification. Bring along a police certification certificate, medical certification from a board certified physician employed anywhere in the metropolitan area, email address, phone number/s, and of course we’ll ask you why you think that you are qualified or this particular job, and why you want to do it.
Like I said, the position is open and to be frank with you we’ve only had two other applicants and they failed miserably. Both came to our office with alcohol on their breath. Naturally, this calls for an immediate rejection of the application and a ten year ban from re-applying.”
After Margaret gave me the address of the head office I thanked her for being so polite and straightforward.
After I said goodbye and turned off my cell phone I opened the chest drawer and removed my replicator. I replicated the medical examination and police clearance certificate. I’d already replicated the other required documents. Now I was ready to go to my appointment.
I went to the restroom washed up and then dried my hands and face with a towel. Afterwards, I exited the restroom and went straight to the kitchen.
Once there, I prepared myself a large brunch-style meal consisting of an omelette consisting of three eggs, cheese, chopped black olives, sliced tomato, pepper and other spices; two pancakes, syrup, margarine, orange juice, coffee, tea, and two English muffins. Mind you, I always put ketchup on my eggs regardless of how I prepare them.
After eating I went through the regular drill of washing and drying my hands and face, and then washing the dishes. I felt really good!
A short while later, I hopped into the shower, stayed therein for fifteen minutes and then dried up and put on my outdoor clothing. I felt fresh and relieved!
I glanced at my digital clock only to realize that it was already noon. It was time to go for the interview. I didn’t want to take any chances being late.
I grabbed my shoulder bag, put everything necessary into it and then went on my way.
From the time that I exited my apartment until I left the building there were no major delays. Luckily, the door man was doing his rounds. Don’t get me wrong! Donald is a very nice door man. He’s in his mid-fifties, balding, and has never been married. Poor guy, I think he can’t make it with the opposite sex. No wonder, he loves to eat fast food and sweets. I’ve never seen him eat anything healthy.
An