“I’m not regressing! And I wasn’t sucking my thumb like a little baby, either! I was well ... doing something else!”
“Cynthia, look ... I promise ... I’ll marry you very soon! Please, be patient with me. I’m only thinking of the best for all of us.”
“Okay Bassam, Dr. Hirsi, and Corey ... take down each other’s home addresses, emails, and phone numbers. Corey, give them mine also.”
As soon as things appeared to improve a bit the dog and the cat left without saying goodbye, but the pigeon approached Cynthia. And boy oh boy was there trouble brewing!
“Honey, Cynthia Corbett ... I’m Martha. I’m like the downtown pigeon. I see countless passersby; human and animal. Most of them are humans; students, workers, tourists, walkers, or just plain ole regular folks.
Honey, are you being totally honest about the gangrape?”
“Honey, those creeps, that is ... Jeff and his creepy friends gang-raped me while I was out cold. They drugged me with the capitulation drug! I had no ‘rights’ in the matter otherwise I surely would’ve said ‘NO’!”
“Honey, the word around is that you were smiling the whole way through with it. Also, if a woman doesn’t want it even the jaws-of-life couldn’t part her thighs. Isn’t that so?!”
“Honey, where the hell did you hear this garbage? You can’t tell me about human behaviour. You’re a pigeon!”
“Yes, but, honey, ‘this game’ is played by many species of females, even pigeons. We go through a hard to get routine but in the end everyone is happy. Isn’t that what should’ve happened to you?”
“Honey, I’m about one atom’s worth away from squashing you with my foot! I mean it! Leave us alone or else I’ll sick Corey on you. Word is he loves chicken flesh and anything that taste like it.”
Martha got the message and flew away. I figured she’d stay away from us thereafter. This is not what Cynthia wanted to hear. This called for a drastic change in routine.
“Dr. Hirsi, could you help us bring the WRSS equipment into Tim Horton’s? I wouldn’t want anyone to steal it.”
“Of course, I’d be glad to help you.”
We carried all of the equipment into Tim Horton’s and then we sat down to take a breather. I noticed that Cynthia appeared pale and irritated. So, I cheered her up.
“Guys, we’re the only persons here. The owner of this Tim Horton’s has reportedly died in a car crash. That means that everything herein is ours! Let’s eat up a storm!
Cynthia, what would you like for your meal?”
“I want two sandwiches, a raisin muffin, juice, coffee with cream and sugar, and a slice of chocolate cake; make it a very big slice or give me two regular sized slices.”
“Corey ... what would you like?”
“I want the same thing and add a large fruit cocktail. Give Dr. Hirsi exactly what I’m having. Oh, remember, our coffees must be extra large sized.”
I glanced over at Dr. Hirsi. He gave me ‘thumbs up’ indicating that the order was fine with him. I made myself the same thing.
As soon as I began to head to the kitchen I heard a sucking noise.
Upon glancing back at my three best friends in the whole world I took notice of Cynthia thumb sucking again.
“Cynthia, please don’t do that!”
I ‘inherently knew’ that Cynthia’s thumb sucking resulted from the incredible stress she was enduring.
I couldn’t take it anymore. It was time to get married. I felt that Cynthia wasn’t going to make it for another 24 hours as a single woman, let alone through a war with Emperor Bogey.
It was dark out and the streets were almost deserted except for the few brave souls that dared venture into the streets and the city winos who didn’t know what was going on around them. Their booze was now free. The large stock of booze in liquor stores was theirs for the taking.
I could smell the traces of alcohol left from broken bottles scattered around.
But what troubled me more were the faint howling and growling; also other horrifying sounds that weren’t native to any city.
As I was pondering about my new life I began to fix the food and drinks for my son, fiancé, and newfound friend. Just a minute later Corey and Dr. Hirsi approached me. They glanced over at Cynthia a few times before speaking to me. I sensed that something was wrong; it appeared on their troubled expressions.
“Bassam, there’s something that I didn’t tell you guys. I waited until we were alone without Cynthia. I figure she’s got enough on her mind as is.
Just before I exited the hospital I received some disturbing news from the maternity ward. Apparently, there’d been five births of beast like creatures. Each of the women who gave birth was a rape victim; raped by none other than Mr. Hyde.
We now know that Mr. Hyde is a beast in his natural form. His natural behaviour is violent. Four of the neonates were born dead while the fifth one survived for an hour. But even in that hour it was apparent that Mr. Hyde’s progeny would be a violent breed. The baby refused all standard baby food, but accepted meat.
I’m worried that there’ll be successful births to deal with. If one of these baby beasts were to survive until it could fend for itself we’ll be in deep trouble.
Word around the hospital is ... if one is born give it a lethal injection. Luckily, we were able to contact all of the other hospitals in a fifty mile radius about this matter. Every obstetrician and his/her team have access to FK-125. The whole name is Fast Killer 125 mg. This amount is adequate to kill any neonate beast.
Another thing, Bassam ... please, if you love Cynthia to death then marry her soon. I apologize for backtracking. It’s just that she looks so desperate and sad. She needs someone to love her. Marriage is a great part of her needs. However, on the baby part, I am adamant about not having one. We simply cannot raise a neonate in this environment. I don’t know how long our medical supplies will last. Also, all medical supplies have an expiration date. Lastly, the FK-125 may also run out too. That’s why we must score a victory over our evil foes!
We must kill Mr. Bogey, Mr. Hyde, and Jeff. There’s simply no way around it. They’re planning world domination. I know that you wouldn’t like that.
Anyway, let me help you prepare the food. I wanted Corey to hear what I had to say. That’s why I asked him to be part of our conversation.”
Corey returned to Cynthia who was waiting for her food and drinks. As I glanced at her I noticed that it would be easier for someone to see us than the other way around. The windows were made that way. The owner wanted people to see the inside of his restaurant. It was good for business.
“Thank you, Dr. Hirsi. Now let’s pour some coffee into these cups.”
We proceeded to prepare the correct food and drinks that were ordered by each and every one of us. It was fun and took our minds off of the problems at hand; mind you, it was brief.
Dr. Hirsi and I each carried a full tray back to our seating place. We placed each item on the table beside the person who ordered it and then we laid the trays on the nearest table.
“Guys thanks for preparing this delicious meal! We need to eat fast before some of those people outside come swarming in her and ruin our meal.”
“Cynthia, that’s good thinking. But you don’t have to worry about that. I locked the doors shortly after we entered Tim Horton’s. The keys were on the pay phone. The owner or manager was so intent on leaving this city he/she had forgotten them. In haste people can forget almost anything, even life saving medicine.
Cynthia, after we eat ... I mean ... like ... I love you! Let’s get married after we eat. Dr. Hirsi will perform the legal marriage and Corey can be the second witness. What do you say?”
“Yes, Bassam, I’ll marry you after we eat our delicious food and drinks!”
We ate our meal without incident. Thankfully, we had everything that we needed at our disposal. After our meal we each went to the restroom and washed up. By the time we dried up and returned to our table Cynthia dropped an unusual line on me.
“Bassam, I want a baby right now! This very second! We should get married and have the baby! What do you say about that?”
I figured that Cynthia was going through some kind of mental phase. Actually, all of us were. I could almost feel the stress emanating in the air. I had to calm Cynthia down.
“Cynthia, let’s get married first. We can’t have a child under these circumstances.”
“Cynthia, Bassam’s right. Having a baby will be too demanding and also dangerous. The baby may become ill or even die.”
“Corey, this is the first thing that you’ve said to me in quite a while. It’s like you and your other two buddies were planning this conspiracy against me. I WANT A BABY!”
We tried to calm Cynthia down by using every method in the book. Unfortunately, our efforts were futile.
Cynthia had made up her mind to ‘wish’ for a baby a total of ten thousand times.
“I want a baby! I once heard that if a woman says that in sincere earnest a total of ten thousand times without stopping she’ll have her baby.
Guys, I want you to carry the sound equipment, and also the downloading equipment outside. I want everyone to see my baby as soon as she’s born.”
Although we thought that Cynthia’s request was out of the ordinary we went ahead and did as she asked. We didn’t want her to have a nervous breakdown.
After all, I loved Cynthia to death. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and there was something inherent about her that I wanted to have by my side for the rest of my life. If, however, we defeated our foes and there were no ‘replacements’ thereafter, things would become a lot easier.
I felt bad about hiding secrets from my love and from my son. Corey wasn’t an ordinary kitty. In fact, he had superkitty strength. But the way it goes is that he won’t have it unless he knows about it and initially consciously uses it. I mean, he must consciously know that he is a super cat and then perform an incredible feat. Thereafter it will be natural for him.
Corey’s in little kitty mode. Sure, he fantasizes about beating up our three foes, but his rational mind tells him that he cannot do it.
When the right moment comes to pass I’ll tell Corey the truth; not the whole truth but whatever I can. Until then, he doesn’t appear to be mature enough to know the truth.
We took the necessary equipment outside, in front of Time Horton’s and then we patiently waited for Cynthia to speak. It was now midnight and the three of us were concerned with the reaction of all the sleepy heads in the city. No doubt, many people were fast asleep by midnight. Anyhow, we weren’t going to tangle with Cynthia Corbett.
“I want the entire population of this city and the boroughs to hear my precious words. I’ll repeat my statement a total of ten thousand times.
I feel like nobody understands me; including my beloved fiancé’! Bassam, why don’t you marry me?! Why don’t you want me to have a baby ... and why are you guys conspiring against me?!”
We kept quiet for obvious reasons. I guess we wanted Cynthia to spurt out her inner frustrations. It was better than making her blow up from inside.
“Ladies, gentlemen, animals, and whoever else, this is my MANIFESTO:
“I WANT A BABY! I WANT A BABY! I WANT A BABY! I WANT A BABY! I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY ... I WANT A BABY... I WANT A BABY!”
Cynthia went on and on until she completed her ‘ten thousand times’ promise. Believe me it was very difficult to hear her say those words over and over again. We knew that it was absolutely impossible to bear a child in that manner. So, I planned to marry Cynthia and then make love to her immediately afterwards. Of course, we’d have to go to my apartment. But, I figured the faster she became impregnated with our baby/s the better.
As soon as Cynthia finished reciting her MANIFESTO she told us that she felt like collapsing. Naturally, I got her a 1 litre bottle of water and then turned the cap for her. Corey wanted to hand it to her so I gave it to him and he did the rest.
Cynthia guzzled the water in the bottle like a camel. Apparently, she was dehydrated. Thankfully, after she took her last gulp I saw a big smile on her face. However, she still needed to go back home and rest; actually we all did.
“Dr. Hirsi, here is a copy of your keys. I have a total of five duplicate of these three keys. These keys are needed to enter Tim Horton’s. As far as we are concerned this is now our place!
Corey, please put these in your kitty pouch, and Cynthia please put your keys in your shoulder bag; I’ll do the same.”
After we put all of the sound system equipment inside Tim Horton’s; in a hidden/secluded area of course, I locked both entrances and then returned to my friends.
We left Tim Horton’s, Dr. Hirsi separating from us to go to his own home.
I told Cynthia and Corey that I could sleep in their apartment for the night; if they had no problem with that. I was too tired to walk back home and I wanted to keep a close eye on Cynthia just in case something unexpected happened.
Thankfully, they accepted my request and we were on our way.
We crossed the street, walked a short distance and then entered the apartment building. Thankfully, we still needed a scanning card to enter the building but the door man was nowhere in sight.
As we walked towards the elevators Corey leaped onto the door man’s counter and then asked us to stop. He had something to read: This is from Mike: “I got the hell out of here! Live in this building at your own expense!”
We thanked Corey for being so sharp and for reading the warning to us. The downtown core was deserted. There was hardly anyone in sight. It felt like ninety five percent or more of the population had left. We were living on borrowed time.
Even in the lobby we could still hear gun fire from afar and the voices of beasts never heard before. Emperor Bogey and his special associates have a very evil hand. No doubt, they’re involved in the terrorizing of the populace. But I knew that sooner or later a war would ensue. Canadian Forces and other sympathizers will fight the evil Emperor Bogey.
I pressed the ‘UP’ button and then took a step back. A short while later the elevator door opened allowing us to enter it.
As soon as we were securely inside the elevator I pressed the #7 button.
The elevator reached the seventh floor in a jiffy. As soon as the door opened we exited the elevator then proceeded to walk to the apartment.
Upon reaching apartment #7 door Cynthia reached into her shoulder bag and then pulled out her apartment keys. She opened the door allowing us to enter.
It was a beautiful feeling to be at a friend’s home. The first thing we did was remove our shoes and socks. Afterwards, Cynthia and I placed our shoulder bags in the closet.
“Guys, I’m going into the bedroom. I need to change into something more comfortable before I hit the sack. Bassam, the closet beside the restroom is full of clean men’s clothes. Feel free to take whatever you want.”
I waited for Cynthia to enter the bedroom before opening the closet and removing a pair of blue and white pyjamas. Luckily, they fit me just fine.
Corey and I waited to see what Cynthia had planned. As soon as she exited the restroom my jaw almost dropped to the carpet! She was wearing a burgundy coloured night gown, making her look even more beautiful than any woman on Earth. Maybe on Planet X too.
“Guys, I’m hitting the sack. Corey, please come with me to bed. You know that I don’t like to sleep alone.”
“Okay, Cynthia, I’m on my way!”
As soon as Cynthia turned away to enter the bedroom, she glanced back at me and then gave me a wink and a smile. She wanted me to be ready for marriage.
I waited a few minutes after they entered the bedroom before hitting the sack. I slept on a large, black leathered sofa which was very comfortable and ‘longer’ than me. I fell into a deep sleep almost instantly. I guess we were all exhausted from the day’s troubles and requirements. I was hoping that the next day would be better. It was already 2:45 A.M., a lot later than most people sleep.
I dreamt several dreams before being abruptly awakened by a very sharp and loud shout. I was so startled it made my entire body catapult itself into the air and off of the sofa. I ended up landing on the living room carpet.
It took me a half a minute to fully awaken and to wipe my eyes thoroughly. I got up and then walked to the bedroom door. The sound emanated from the apartment so I knew that the shout came from therein.
I stood by the door for a short while before hearing a similar shout again. Now, I was terribly worried! I wasn’t taking any chances with someone like Jeff assaulting Cynthia. She sounded terrified and in pain. So, I opened the door and walked into the bedroom.
Initially I saw Corey standing next to the table lamp. Apparently, he’d just turned on the lamp; all to our benefit. Cynthia on the other hand was on her back and appeared to have a distended stomach. There was blood a watery substance the bed sheets.
“Cynthia, are you all right?! What happened?! Corey, please fill me in on what happened!”
“Bassam, Cynthia’s pregnant! She’s about to give birth! I’ve got Dr. Hirsi’s number memorized and my cell phone is next to me.”
“No, Corey, it’ll take too long! Don’t call Dr. Hirsi until after and only after you call for an ambulance. Hopefully, there’ll be a couple of brave technicians who haven’t fled the city.”
Corey took hold of his cell phone and punched in 911, then waited patiently for the operator to answer the call. I indicated to Corey that I wanted him to press the speaker phone button; he did as I asked.
Meanwhile, Cynthia began to cry. I realized why by the words she chose to use.
“Bassam ... my fiancé and Corey are talking about me as though I’m not here! That’s not nice! Ouch ... ouch ... ah ... no ... it ... hurts ... so much! Please ... ask them to hurry up! I can’t last forever like this!”
“Hello, this is the operator, what is the problem please?”
“Umm I’m Corey Jameson and my best friend in the whole world is in the process of giving birth. She’s in much pain, sweating profusely, there’s blood and a watery substance on the bed sheets. Please send an ambulance!”
“Mr. Jameson, I apologize but most of our technicians and medical staff have fled the entire metropolitan area. We have a skeletal crew of brave men and women here. Gunshot wounds, stabs, horrible assaults, and any problem or medical ailment take priority. Giving birth is not one of them ... sir! I’m sure you and a friend could deliver this baby. Just be clean, use plenty of sheets and towels and then cut the umbilical cord.”
“Lady, are you deaf! Cynthia’s crying her brains out! Why are you being a bitch?”
The operator slammed the phone in Corey’s face. Or maybe the line was cut. Anyhow, I told Corey to call Dr. Hirsi.
After punching the numbers for Dr. Hirsi’s phone Corey waited attentively for an answer. Meanwhile, I walked over to Cynthia and held her hand. I gave her a good word or two also.
“Cynthia, I love you dearly. I’ll marry you as soon as Dr. Hirsi arrives. I don’t want you to give birth as a single woman. I want to be your loving husband when you give birth.”
I kissed Cynthia’s hand and sat behind her faithfully, not allowing her to feel betrayed or alone. Whenever I saw a tear in her eye I kissed her hand, told her I love her, and then stroked her face with my hand.
“Cynthia, please hang in there. And Corey ... I don’t think you were speaking with the operator. No operator in Canada would ever do that. Remember, we’re under ‘chaotic rule’. For all we know the operator may have be an employee of Emperor Bogey.”
Cynthia held in there; mind you it was very tough for all three of us. For Corey and me to see Cynthia in that amount of pain was a terrible ordeal.
Thankfully, fifteen minutes later, we heard a buzz. Corey instinctively took hold of his cell phone, turned it on and then asked who it was.
The person buzzing us was none other than Dr. Hirsi. Corey buzzed him in and then I opened the apartment door.
In a lash Dr. Hirsi exited the elevator on our floor and then walked towards Corey and me. We weren’t taking any chances. We didn’t want Dr. Hirsi to ‘miss’ the apartment. There was always a chance that our exchange of addresses had gone wrong. Mistakes do happen. Look what happened with the baby thing. We thought that it was impossible for Cynthia to conceive by simply repeating a short statement like ‘I want a baby’ ten thousand times.
“Dr. Hirsi, please hurry up! I don’t want my future wife to die on me!
Please, Dr. Hirsi, marry us immediately!”
Dr. Hirsi shook my hand and then knelt down and shook Corey’s paw. Although he’d been hustling he still managed to put on a big smile. Dr. Hirsi looked handsome, but more so when he smiled. His teeth looked really white and almost appeared to shine.
Dr. Hirsi briskly walked through down the hallway and then followed us into to the bedroom. Thankfully, he hadn’t forgotten his medical bag. Otherwise, we’d be in big trouble.
“Cynthia have you used any medication, any kind of drug, or alcoholic beverage in the past seventy two hours?”
“No! Please hurry up! It hurts really badly!”
Dr. Hirsi pulled out a plastic bag from his medical bag, ripped it, and then pulled on a pair of surgical gloves. Afterwards, he removed a syringe from his medical bag, ripped the plastic covering off and then asked me to pull out a bottle labelled X-500 out of his medical bag. Dr. Hirsi then shoved the head of the syringe into the bottle, extracted 250 mg of medication and then returned the bottle in the medical bag.
Dr. Hirsi asked Corey to get close to him. As soon as Corey leaped onto Cynthia’s bed he looked at Dr. Hirsi attentively.
“Corey, please remove a cotton ball from my medical bag and then let Bassam wipe some rubbing alcohol on Cynthia’s shoulder.
Bassam, the bottle of rubbing alcohol is right there ... do you see it?”
“Sure Dr. Hirsi.”
Corey and I followed Dr. Hirsi’s instructions to the letter.
After carefully injecting the medicine into Cynthia’s arm Dr. Hirsi discarded the syringe and the cotton ball into the waste basket just a few feet away from him. He then put a band aid on Cynthia’s shoulder.
“Okay guys let’s deliver the baby!
Cynthia, are you dizzy or do you have pain anywhere other than the affected area?”
“No, Dr. Hirsi ... but the pain ... it’s so incredibly awful! I feel like I’m going to give birth within a minute or two!
Ooooooooohhhh! Ouch! Aiiiiiy! Yooooooooooggg! Please, Dr. Hirsi, marry us right now before my baby is born!”
“Okay, I’m authorized to perform the ‘abbreviated version’ of the marriage process in cases of absolute emergency, like now.
“Bassam Imam, do you promise to be Cynthia Corbett’s husband and to behave accordingly?”
“Yes, I absolutely do!”
“And you, Cynthia Corbett, do you promise to be Bassam Imam’s wife and to behave accordingly?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! I ... I ... I ... do!”
“Are either of you under the influence of any psychotropic drugs, either on your own choosing or through prescription?”
“No, we responded.”
“Are both of you of sane mind?”
“Yes, we responded.”
“Are either of you under duress or perceived duress>”
“No, we responded.
“Bassam Imam and Cynthia Corbett you are now officially husband and wife!
Bassam ... please kiss your bride before I begin my important work.”
I gave Cynthia Corbett the best kiss that I could. Although she was all sweaty and squealing she was still the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
“Okay Cynthia, it’s coming out right now! Please don’t stop pushing until I tell you to stop. I want this baby to be born healthy and to be raised by a mother and a father; legally married.”
I noticed that Corey was regressing. He was standing on the small table the lamp was on. He had a bird’s eye view of everything.
“Okay, Cynthia I can feel your baby in my hands!”
“Dr. Hirsi turned his head to face me and Corey. He had a look of extreme worry. Corey and I couldn’t quite understand what was going on. After all, we weren’t the physicians.
“Push, keep pushing! Push! Push! Keep pushing!”
Finally ... the baby came out. And did we get the shock of our lives!”
“Cynthia, it’s not twins. You can stop pushing now.”
“Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!”
“Why’s my baby talking like that? What’s wrong with my baby? I want my baby! I want to see my baby! Let me see my baby ... damn it!”
“Okay, Cynthia ... here’s your beautiful daughter.”
“Oh my dear, she’s so beautiful! But ... she’s a cat! How did I give birth to a beautiful, precocious cat?”
“Cynthia, as your doctor I must ask you to calm down for your own sake; not to mention your daughter’s. And what about the three guys in this bedroom that love you dearly. Cynthia, we’re very happy to see you give birth. But being a mother isn’t something trivial. It’s very serious business. You have three guys here who’ll help you through this.
Another thing, please keep the exact circumstances of your birth a secret. I’m not referring to the where or when. I’m referring to the how! Otherwise, every Jane Doe on this planet will have a baby, thereby increasing the population of this planet many fold in a few years.
Cynthia, you have a lovely daughter. You’re a mother and a wife now. This is a time for celebration, thankfulness, and joy.
You must take it easy with your daughter for the first two weeks or so. As ... her eyes will be shut for the duration of that time.
Also, Cynthia, when you’re alone I want you to examine your breasts and nipples. See if they’re ‘fertile’. I’m sure you know what ‘pregnancy breasts’ look like. You need functional mammary glands. Your daughter will naturally search for your nipples and suck. We have to ensure that she’s getting the proper nourishment.
Remember, no skim milk! Partially skimmed is the lowest in fat content that is acceptable. Here in Canada we call it ‘two percent milk’.
Your daughter needs to grow strong and healthy. No skimpy diets. If by chance, she opens her eyes sooner than the two week period feed her as needed. Remember, plenty of water, food, and later exercise. Other things like love, affection, and speaking to her calmly are very important, indeed. She’s now part of the family.
Now you must name your daughter.”
“Wait, look, my daughter’s nostrils are flaring. She smells her mother. And look, her ears are cropped. She hears me speaking. She has the sucking reflex; she needs her mother’s milk.
I want to name my daughter Alexa. What do you guys think of that name?”
“That’s a very beautiful name, indeed!” we responded.
Cynthia and Alexa looked very comfortable with each other. It was an incredible event, indeed. A woman giving birth to a healthy cat is not something that happens on a regular basis.
I think that Cynthia became so attached to Corey her uterus went into feline mode; producing a cat instead of a human.
Cynthia began to lick her daughter. Immediately, the three of us asked her to stop. Corey placed more emphasis on his words.
“Cynthia, you can’t do that! It’s unhealthy for you and your daughter. You’re a human being.”
“Corey, I’m her mother. Alexa is my beloved daughter. I feel a strong instinctual drive to lick her.”
“Cynthia, I’m Alexa’s step brother and I happen to be a cat. Please let ‘me’ lick her. I know how to do it correctly. Also, I can’t get sick from her afterbirth because it’s not poisonous to me.”
Cynthia loosened her grip on Alexa and then allowed Corey to lick Alexa.
After Corey finished licking Alexa Cynthia gently pulled Alexa’s face towards her own nipples and then she lifted her own shirt to bare her breasts. Alexa instinctively began to suck on her natural source of milk.
“Guys, I must get to the MGH and wherever else I’m needed. We’re dealing with daily gunshot and stabbing victims. It’s a jungle out there.
I want all of you to get a good night’s sleep; even if you end up awakening after noon. Eat a wholesome breakfast, wash up, and then take Cynthia and Alexa to the MGH’s second floor. We’ve fixed up a mak