enzo
“I can’t believe you’re adopted!” Zarah was surprised as she and Sophia made conversation in the latter’s bedroom, early the next morning. After the party last night, Sophia asked for a sleep-over in the hope of disclosing the recent happenings to her best friend. She didn’t want to get stuck with talking about other things—school stuff, mostly. This morning, her guts had finally kicked in, and she began sharing her story to Zarah.
It was gut-wrenching for Sophia. She knew Zarah was accepting enough, but she remembered she hadn’t told Zarah yet about Abanir, and Sophia didn’t know where to start. It seemed she needed another occasion to talk of the outlandish creature.
“Yes, I am adopted.” Sophia attempted to utter a laugh. Somewhere deep down, she knew she was pitiful, and she wished sarcasm would be kind enough to comfort her. The reality was too fresh yet, and she was still at the stage of accepting.
“And you said your real dad is your dad’s brother and your real mom is your mom’s sister…?” Zarah’s forehead was in furrows as she got confused about the interlaced details. “Seriously, that’s kinda weird.”
“But that’s not the biggest surprise I have for you…” Sophia couldn’t help the smug look that spread across her face. It felt good to fake her own feelings, well, at least for one moment only.
“What do you mean?”
Sophia glanced toward the windows and left Zarah waiting in the bed. Through the drapes that were parted in the middle, she said, “It’s about Jericho.” Then she paused, took a deep breath, and went back to Zarah who moved closer to hear her, suddenly attentive to the words she was about to spill. Sophia didn’t know how to position her words, this time, thinking this second blow would put more impact on Zarah because it involved Alex. And her too, because of Jericho. “D—Dad has a son besides Alex...” She closed her eyes the moment she said it.
Zarah’s face pulled in bewilderment then. “What?!”
“Jericho. He’s the other son.” Then, Sophia lifted up her head to the ceiling, her heart seemingly racing with her lungs. And seeing the chandelier sparkle with the golden sunbeams, so vibrant, she wished her life would be just as vibrant, too. Oh God, how she needed the strength!
“I can’t believe this is happening to you. To your family.” Zarah muttered, and started patting Sophia’s back. “I understand you don’t want to feel the pain, Sophia, who doesn’t?” She paused, and then she gave Sophia another light pat. “Everything will be just fine, okay?” It wasn’t Zarah’s strong point to console anybody, but somehow, she was good with Sophia. She thought: one must be strong at the time the other one gets weak.
For Sophia, there were many other things that she wanted to share. Hatred, anger, wonder—for the whole time, thinking, why they hid such secrets from her. And disgust too—disgust at herself for falling in love with someone who was actually so closely related to her. But she was a victim here. Just like everyone else. Surely.
In the afternoon, Sophia lay in bed with a million things clamoring for attention. She wished to have her element—that tower of strength that would thrust her through everything, especially in her tough times. Desperately for her, she hadn’t grasped it yet. She was still that girl who couldn’t find her way out from the shell of emotional vulnerability. She knew it to herself. It was her weakness, her frustration. But she was fighting for it.
The urge to leave hit her. She needed to keep herself away from things and people who had been causing her too much burden and sorrow. She needed tranquility, some place where she could not think of things too hard, and the subdivision’s park was the first thing she could think of. It was green and quiet—the best spot to loosen up a bit, and it was only a walk away. Just for a while.
The park was crowded, which she never expected. Olympus Heights was picked by some non-government organizations to conduct their monthly fund-raising program because it was free and wide enough to accommodate a pile of ice cream trucks and other business vehicles, in line. And foreign visitors, too.
“Want a ride?” A boy distracted Sophia as she was walking down the narrow sidewalk.
“No, thanks.” Sophia gave the boy a smile. It seemed he was reaching puberty.
“Oh, pardon my son, miss!” A female voice resonated somewhere, and Sophia saw a red-headed woman in a large t-shirt.
“Oh, no problem about it.” Sophia beamed, in return.
“Mike, come on. Let’s go.” The woman asked his son to step on the pedal and gazed back at Sophia. “Tina, by the way!”
Straightaway, Sophia extended her hand but the woman’s hand was somewhat wet. “Sophia. My name’s Sophia.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Sophia. I’m from Block 20.”
“Me too, ma’am. I’m from Block 1,” Sophia said, and she realized she ought not to reveal her address. It might seem demeaning.
There was hierarchy in their village. Just like every place in the country—most likely a practice that originated since the Spanish regime in the archipelago, although it was reformed when the Americans took over. The location of blocks in the heights separated the high-income earners from the low-income earners, having Block 1 as the starting point for the richest.
At this, Sophia felt sorry the moment she had said it. But to her surprise, it wasn’t a big deal for the woman. And she was, in fact, bestowing her a wide smile.
“Are you waiting for your boyfriend?” The woman then asked, as she noticed some teenage guys walking around the park.
“Oh, no! I’m not here for a date or something. I’m here for fresh air.”
“I see. Well, then. I guess we have to leave now.” She nodded and left with her boy.
Sophia was gracious and continued walking, watching the other little boys playing soccer and the hyperactive girls being chased by their moms across the green lawn. Then she felt her stomach turn sour, and a Japanese eating place grabbed her senses. It looked red and white, just like the colors of the said country’s flag.
She went over the listed meals and they seemed to be very affordable. Katsudon, cha soba, sushi, onigiri furukake, Sophia read them in mind.
“Hello! Your order, please,” the vendor asked and obviously, he was Japanese.
Sophia didn’t expect that a real Japanese guy would be the one selling, but he seemed nice and accommodating so she played along. “Um, can I have this oni…giri furu…kake?” Sophia was evidently careful in saying the dish’s name. “And sushi please…” But with the second one, she was absolutely assured and confident.
“Sure, ma’am!” The vendor responded in pleasure. “And your drinks?”
Sophia went through the list again. “Um, just some iced red tea, please.”
While paying, Sophia looked at the other customers enjoying their every bite. They were seated in plastic stalls and they seemed quite happy with their meal.
“Here’s your onigiri and sushi, ma’am!” The vendor handed her a couple of Styrofoam packs and placed them in a brown bag.
Sophia received it with one hand, and with her other hand, she clasped her paper cup with red tea. Quickly she went looking for a seat but the benches nearby were already occupied. The Japanese eatery must have been a blockbuster. Then she made her way to the other benches in the park, about a hundred feet away, and found one vacant spot.
The sushi stirred her palate first, and she was on her way for her first bite, when a guy suddenly shadowed her.
“Can I have a taste of that?” he asked.
Sophia paused long enough, then she tilted her chin to face him. She knew, right away, that the voice was Enzo’s. Seeing him, she almost dropped her pair of chopsticks. He had a new haircut and he looked charismatic this time.
“Enzo! How…?”
He didn’t wait for her to complete her words and said, “Actually, I just spent an hour looking for you. You were not answering my phone calls.” Then he joined her on the bench, uninvited.
“How did you know I’m here?” Sophia tried not to look disappointed. She liked Enzo, but at this point, she needed to be alone. And he was here now. What choice did she have? She wasn’t a snob, after all.
“I went to your house. Your dad told me you went out and then I asked around.” Enzo was speaking with too much confidence that prompted Sophia act more accommodating, especially with the thought that he went looking for her.
“Ah!” She was stunned. “Why don’t you join me then?” she said, and Enzo volunteered to feed her, trying to be romantic.
“Take a big bite, Sophia!” He demanded when her bites became too small and too slow.
Somehow, Sophia couldn’t afford to look straight into his eyes, for too many reasons. Surely, guilt was one of them, for she was using him to get Jericho out of her thoughts.
“Hey, everything’s all right?” Enzo elbowed her, and Sophia plainly noticed the huge difference between him and Jericho. Jericho had never elbowed her like that before. He was usually careful about touching her. But this Enzo, he seemed to be that kind of always-on-the-go guy, an extrovert—Jericho’s exact opposite.
“I think I should go home.” Sophia then pushed forward, feeling something was truly wrong. She knew Enzo was a good guy. He deserved better than this.
“Come on. We’re not yet done eating.” Enzo held her arm to stop her.
Sophia leaned back again, with the impulse to speak the truth, but she was caught up in a series of doubts and attempts.
“Can we take a walk?” she said, after a while. Enzo knew then she was about to open something like a Pandora’s box.
“No problem.”
As they walked along the pile of blue Passion flowers, Sophia was starting to assemble her sentence.
“Is this about your ex?” Enzo advanced.
Sophia knew he was pertaining to Giovanni. He was clueless yet, about Jericho. “Apparently, no.” Sophia made an effort in saying it.
“Well, what is it all about?” He paused to face her.
Sophia also went to a halt and avoided his stare. “Remember what I told you that I’m kind of adopted?” she spoke, still not looking at him. “I think you ought to know that Giovanni is not my first boyfriend.”
Enzo’s face reddened. He was obviously showing displeasure, but Sophia had to keep on.
“It happened that my first boyfriend is actually a half-brother, a cousin to be exact.” Teardrops suddenly streamed down her face. She didn’t want him to see her that way, but it was unavoidable.
Enzo lingered, standing silent and completely surprised. He didn’t know how to react.
“I’m so sorry, Enzo. I hope you can forgive me.” Sophia was more than regretful but she felt clean, now that she had told him.
“It’s okay. None of it is your fault.” To Sophia’s dismay, it seemed it wasn’t that much of a big deal to him.
“No, you don’t get it!” She retaliated, as if she was one of the little girls in the park.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, God…” Sophia pressed her forehead as if it would lessen the tension. “Yesterday, after I knew everything, I didn’t know what to do. And then, you called.” Sophia was shaking now.
As for Enzo, he still seemed clueless. “That was why you wanted to have a drink…?” At least he was starting to connect the details.
“Can’t you see? I’m very selfish!” Sophia now faced him with a dare. “I asked you yesterday to see me because I didn’t know how to handle everything. Can’t you see that I used you?” Sophia felt embarrassed the second she’d finished.
For a moment or two, he was still. Then he said, “Don’t you see that I’m madly in love with you?”
Oh heavens, he was making a mess out of this. His feedback staggered her. He was supposed to be hating her, but it was the other way around.
“You make me the happiest guy, Sophia. And I don’t care if you’re using me. After all, romance has ruined more lives than wars.”
“What?” Sophia was puzzled, even more.
“I mean I don’t care, Sophia. And what I ask from you right now is… for you to learn to love me back.” Enzo steadied his eyes on her. “Let’s give it a try, shall we?”
Frozen, Sophia’s mind turned blank. Enzo was now the one offering her a ticket to leave her past with Jericho. He could be her friend… and her lover, too.