a mother’s love
“Francheska. She’s already here,” Lilly repeated. “She’s outside, waiting.”
A sudden radiance emanated from Sophia, and this made Lilly dash, to reach for the door. The door swung open and presented Francheska, standing on the hallway, waiting. Praying for things to be all right.
“Mom…” Sophia quivered, straining to address the word, as tears crossed through her flaring cheeks. Mom. She repeated it to herself.
A feeling of euphoria struck Francheska. What did she ever do to deserve this quick forgiveness from a forsaken daughter? The word mom felt like it both slayed her yet sent her to heaven, all-at-once.
“Sophia… my daughter!” Francheska suddenly clasped her. At last! Thank Heaven! Sophia was finally in her arms, and they prayed it would never end.
Francheska caressed her daughter, wishing the sun would continue to shine on them. What she did earlier, to agree to Lilly’s offer to come and see her daughter, was her wisest decision ever, after all the greatest mistakes of the past! “I’m so sorry, Sophia.” She cried. In her arms was her daughter, who moaned softly like a kitten. Oh heavens, if only there were words more expressive than sorry.
Sophia cried even harder. It was the best thing she’d ever felt, after all the solitude she had endured.
“I’m so sorry,” Francheska implored again. They could barely move, and even Lilly was stilled by the glorious view before her eyes. All her efforts to unite the two were rewarded, finally. In helping them, she felt she was finally making sense of her own life, too.
Lilly joined in their embrace, and they were absorbed in the moment. Time was in their favor, because it seemed to be right timing. Sophia had pardoned her mom quite easily. Then Lilly stepped back and laughed, thinking she would burn the entire building if she kept on cuddling them. “Come on, now! Let’s get inside. My cooking’s almost done.” She lobbed some British accent, adding bliss to Francheska and Sophia.
Francheska couldn’t let go of her daughter. All the pain, since the day she conceived her, down to her most painful labor—though it all seemed a long time ago—all paid off, now, all at once. She couldn’t care about the other things that might be happening around. She could only stare down, in awe, at her baby. Her grown-up girl.
Lilly complemented the moment with some music and began serving them. “Meal’s ready,” she said and heard no response. The two were still engrossed with each other, and she couldn’t believe the magnificent picture they made. To rest on her mother’s soft bosom seemed like nirvana to Sophia. And it felt the same for Francheska. Yet, somehow, there was this nagging worry, in Francheska, that her many secrets of the past could catch up on her daughter.
“Cheska, tell Sophia your stories of New York.” Lilly wanted to expand their conversation, after they’d finished eating.
“Well…” Francheska paused, thinking. “Back there, I performed in Broadway, and I also had two other jobs! Life there is too expensive but I managed to save more than I expected. For eight years, I’ve been doing the same routines every day.”
There was this desire for Sophia to ask her mother something. Something too personal. “You’re thirty two and how come you never got married?” She fixed her gaze on the floor when she asked it.
“I guess, this is what God planned for me. To stay unmarried until I finally have my daughter back.”
The light in Sophia’s eyes manifested. Then and there, she loved her mother all the more. It was riveting and moving—seemingly a tale of human loss and human gain, all at the same moment.
Late in the afternoon, Francheska had been watching her daughter sit on the couch and turn over some pages of her memoirs of New York.
She flashed back to the night she’d given birth to Sophia and remembered clearly the sensation—as if some big slimy fish were being drawn out of her. The lights overhead, as she lay on the stretcher, pierced her eyes but she could see the doctor holding up what looked like a skinned rabbit. “It’s a beautiful girl,” he said as he looked at the clock for the baby’s time of birth. Then all at once, its cry burst out—angry and ferocious. Francheska could recall clearly and then… the doctor and nurses panicked for another moment. “There’s another one,” they yelled distressingly. “Call Dr. Phil Vabueretti now!” And then Francheska was out.
“She needs to go home to Eliz,” Lilly spoke to Francheska carefully, and that distracted her. She’d been watching Sophia, too, who seemed fascinated by Francheska’s minor roles on Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musicals.
“Yes,” Francheska agreed, setting aside her thoughts and memories, but she longed to think them over, again. “I want more time with Sophia. Do you think it’s too selfish of me to ask her not to go home tonight?” The hope bounded in Francheska, and she noticed the way Sophia grabbed her back as though she was in pain. “Is there something wrong with her back?”
“I don’t know. It’s like she’s in pain.”
Francheska inched her way toward her daughter, to probe her. She was wary, knowing she hadn’t done this before. She had no experience as a mother, but Sophia was already giving her a lovely look so she was stimulated to keep on.
“You’re so great back there,” Sophia praised her as she received her mom’s kiss on the forehead, then frowned when Francheska said she’d no longer return to her old life in New York, so she could be with Sophia. “You really are willing to quit all these for me…?” Sophia rejected the idea and was shushed when her mother began studying her back. It seemed her mother noticed.
“No spotlights are brighter than the moments I am with you now, sweetheart.” Francheska shifted her gaze to her. “You are far more fulfilling and rewarding than the sparkling life New York could ever offer.”
It shook Sophia to the edge. Something wonderful bloomed within her, profound and potent. She was grateful, anticipating what the future could bring them, but her mother delved into her back again and lifted her chemise, leaving her frozen.
Nothing seemed to be wrong at first, but when Francheska sharpened her vision, she noticed a spot that started to darken. “What happened? Were you beaten?”
“Mom…” Sophia didn’t know how to react then. She began to feel tense.
“Who did this to you?”
Still, Sophia refused to tell. She wanted no one to know of the almost-being-beaten episode. One way or another, she still cared for Enzo, and wanted to protect his dignity.
“Sophia, I’m asking you. Who did this to you?” Now, Francheska’s voice sounded very serious.
“Mom, it’s just a back-ache.” Sophia tried to speak convincingly but Francheska still doubted. And Lilly, who stood there at the kitchen watching them, wasn’t also convinced.
“Tell me about it.” Francheska made sure her voice was mellow now, not to frighten her daughter.
“I…” Sophia’s tongue was sliding back, her eyes unsteady. “It is my fault…” And judging through Sophia’s movements, Lilly had finally gotten a clue. “Did that Enzo guy do that to you?” She asked, not considering any other thoughts, making Sophia’s terror worsen.
“What?” Francheska reacted tremendously and began to get mad. “Who’s that guy? Tell me!”
Sheer silence was Sophia’s only response. Francheska demanded heavily and Sophia was thrown into a tight corner. “I don’t blame Enzo for doing this to me. I was selfish. I hurt him,” she shuddered, while speaking.
“I can’t believe Enzo has the nerve to hurt you.” Lilly turned angry, too.
Francheska was in a total shock. Her daughter didn’t deserve this. She deserved no less than care and good treatment.
“I—I deserve this!” Sophia blinked back her tears, still in a nod. “This is nothing, compared to everything I’ve done to him,” she broke into another cry, her nose entirely clogged.
“No, no matter what this reason was, Sophia, this is not okay!” Lilly protested, and that roused Francheska. Though Lilly told her things about the men in Sophia’s life, she just did not know how to take this, in hand. If only it was a stage play, she could have shoved it like a piece of cake.
“I cheated on him and I deserve nothing but this,” Sophia insisted which made the two ice up in muffled objection.
“Cheated?” They shivered at the word. For them, given the fact that Sophia had done so, still it wasn’t a warranty to hurt her. Women are very fragile creatures. Physically, at least.
“Yes, I cheated on him,” Sophia then admitted with bravery. “Please, stop now. It’s done. Enzo and I are over.”
With night came peace. Sophia and Francheska shared the same bed with Lilly, after Elizabeth’s approval of Sophia’s overnight there but in return, Sophia would go to Forest Green the next morning, for Grandma Lucy’s birthday.
Francheska couldn’t fall asleep as she went back to the daunting night of her delivery. What did the doctor and nurses mean there’s another one? Even up to now, she didn’t understand what that panic was. Not even a small fragment of idea why they had to call Dr. Philippe Vabueretti. Was it because she gave birth in the Vabueretti family hospital? Or something mysterious was coming out of her belly?
She went to another memory and felt more of goose bumps. The night—the night she was with Ben at the lake house was the last thing she could recall after she woke up the following day in the middle of the forest. She was stripped naked, then, but she was sure she heard some flapping of wings before she fell unconscious, again, lying on a heap of dried leaves that she couldn’t even identify. And with that thought, Francheska was brimming with mixed sentiments again. She needed to fight it, for Sophia who was lying next to her, whose arms were wrapped around her belly.
Sophia couldn’t go to asleep, too. As she got wedged between the two adults, there were a handful of questions that she longed to ask her mom.
“Mom,” she talked softly and faced Francheska, who was then hardened into silence.
“Yes…?”
“You know I have amnesia, right?”
For a while, Francheska was wordless, feeling all the sorry, for her daughter and for herself too, because she wasn’t there when Sophia had the accident.
“Mom,” Sophia repeated, uncertain if her mother had heard it.
“Yes, Sophia. And I’m so, so sorry.” Thanks to the lights they were now turned off, and Francheska’s rushing tears were invisible.
“You guys, let’s just go to sleep, okay?” Lilly then meddled, just when she got distracted by their careful voices.
“Yes,” Francheska then consented and held her daughter in fondness. It was their first night together, and Francheska never let go of her, the whole night.