return to forest green
“Sophia, honey, wake up now.” Francheska shook her daughter in bed. “You’re going to Forest Green today.”
In a flash, Sophia became completely conscious and realized it wasn’t Elizabeth waking her up this time. She suddenly remembered, she’d got another mom, too. “Good morning, Mom.” She slid a smile and got up from bed.
“Good morning, too, sweetheart.” Francheska sat down on the edge of the bed, and once more, cuddled her.
For Francheska, the situation was odd, as well, for she’d always been used to being alone. She, too, had to adjust, to the reality that she could no longer live the life of a single woman. This time she had to embrace the fact that Sophia would be linked to her, all her life. She needed to unchain the shackles of the past and take on the new role of a mom.
“I better hurry,” Sophia carefully said. “Mom will freak out if I’m not home early,” Sophia pertained to Elizabeth and noticed the twinge in Francheska’s eyes.
Though Francheska tried, she couldn’t hide the envy she felt the moment Sophia called Elizabeth mom. She knew she didn’t have to feel that way but… it was inevitable.
“Yes, of course.” Francheska tried to smile and touched her daughter’s face, absorbing herself with the fact that she had nothing to worry about, for Sophia was always in good hands—in Elizabeth’s care.
“I don’t want to go to Forest Green today,” Sophia confessed, with a pout. “But I guess, I have no choice.”
Despite her disapproval, too, Francheska widened her smile. “Everyone wants you there. So go, sweetheart.” She looked beyond her daughter’s head and fought back the haunting memories of Forest Green. She wasn’t healed yet. But she had to calm down for her daughter’s sake.
In a hurry, Sophia prepared herself and joined her mom in the kitchen. She could smell garlic, omelet, and bacon.
“Honey,” Francheska called, and in her hands were a cup and a glass. She cleaned her throat and asked, “Coffee? Hot chocolate? Or orange juice?” While asking, Francheska felt overwhelmed with self-pity; she knew nothing about her daughter’s palate, and suddenly she was overcome with more maternal feelings.
“Orange juice would be the best, Mom,” Sophia chirped.
Francheska exhaled with relief. She had the right guess—not bad, after all. “Okay, right away, princess.” She returned a bouncier reaction, put aside the cup, then pulled a tetra pack out of the fridge.
Sophia sat down and checked her cell phone that had been in silent mode. Surprisingly, there were over a hundred missed callsall from Enzo, since yesterday. Zarah, too, was sending her messages.
“Sophia, honey…” Francheska noticed how her daughter put so much time on her cell phone. Sophia was then gazing at Enzo’s stream of messages (of apologies and regrets). “Here’s your juice. And you have to hurry. Eliz is already texting,” she said, and volunteered to pour down the drink in Sophia’s glass. “And take good care of yourself there, okay?”
“I will, Mom.” Sophia finally put down her cell phone, set aside the thoughts of Enzo, and began her first bite. It was their first breakfast together. Both felt so much at home, as though it had been their daily routine. Beside them was a pile of bread, and to their surprise, they picked the same bottle of blueberry jam.
“I adore berries,” Sophia smirked, amused by the unanticipated likeness they shared. “Strawberry, cranberry…” she was saying and gawked longer at her mom, her eyes sparkling with too much bliss.
And not only that, they were also stunned by the fact that they both sipped food through their fingertips, such as the droopy jam skimming out of the bread, as they took a big bite.
Francheska ogled dotingly and smiled in-between-mouthfuls. She was seeing her youth all over again in Sophia. Her daughter reminded her so much of herself when she was younger. Along with her smile was the wonder: did Sophia play music too? Although, she had heard her daughter was into painting, Francheska thought that Sophia could be the realization of her own frustration, as a country singer.
“Do you play any musical instrument?” she asked.
Sophia put down the bread knife and heaved a sigh. “No, I don’t. But Alex and Nadine do.” She rolled her eyes to the side and started on the omelet. She knew then it was the only field they didn’t share. She was into the visual arts while her mom was into performing.
As Sophia drifted into those thoughts, Francheska reached for her hands and held them tight, sensing how her daughter felt, exactly. “You’re gonna be a great painter someday,” she forced a sweet smile, at the heights of wishing she’d already seen one of Sophia’s artworks, even a scrap one. Until then, she wouldn’t feel any better.
Sophia returned the same lovely smile, also at the pinnacle of wishing she was as great as her mom was, at stage performances. Little did they know they were wishing hard for each other’s welfare.
“But,” Sophia grimaced, looking in her hands. “I can’t paint the same as before anymore, Mom. I lost it, with the accident.”
“No one can make an omelet without breaking some eggs, sweetie. You’ve got to work hard again until it’ll have you back. Then you will be surprised that you have even made a cake.”
Sophia smiled genuinely at the thought, getting it exactly. New genes of wisdom. From her real mom. For a while, they shared a brief silence and were stirred when Lilly, who just roused from bed, joined them. She handed back to Sophia her car keys and wished her bon voyage to Forest Green, along with a slimy kiss in the cheeks.
When the quick meal ended, Francheska’s cheer faded from her face and she accompanied Sophia to her red mini Cooper, holding herself together to whip out the emptiness that was swiftly progressing. “I want you to have this,” she said and took off the gold necklace from her neck. The pendant was heart-shaped. “This was given to me by mom and it was given to her by your great grandma. I want you to have it.”
Sophia was clearly swamped with delight. She did not know how to thank her, then, but she felt more than privileged that she was the one receiving a family treasure, now, especially when her mom put it on for her.
Sensing her mother’s hands glide over her neck, Sophia felt there was no need for mutiny now. All the missing pieces in the past fit together, now. And it was the sweetest thing, ever. Gracefully, she took hold of the pendant and cuddled Francheska once more. “Thank you, Mom.” She tightened her hug and thanked her—and Francheska laughed, gasping for air.
Then Francheska held Sophia’s cheeks in both hands, looked her in the eye, and honed in on her motherly instinct. “I can feel your heart is wounded, sweetie, but know this: love isn’t easy. But choose that person who’s worth suffering for, someone who’s worth every pain.”
Sophia was caught by surprise, and was shaken all the more when Jericho was the first one that came to mind. At this, she had to stop herself and realized she owed her mom a response. “Thank you, Mom,” she said, and clasped her mom for one last time.
Watching Sophia get into her car, Francheska felt some heaviness of heart. Her longing for her child was the hardest but she worked hard to convince herself that it would only be for a while, and that her daughter would be back with her, shortly.
*****
“Here she comes!” Alex announced as he saw Sophia’s car coming. The family was waiting for her at the front porch, all dressed up and ready to embark on a long trip.
Alex’s and Nadine’s light-headed treatment of Sophia never changed although they had known now her real identity. But for Elizabeth, anxiety began to emerge. She couldn’t help but feel that Francheska might eventually take her daughter away from her. She hated that feeling, and she always wanted the best for her younger sister, so such thoughts just made herself her own worst enemy.
Sophia drew near, waving and trying to give them a normal smile. She, too, felt awkward silently, especially with Elizabeth. It seemed Forest Green wasn’t the only thing causing her a burden. Her ex-mother’s sudden odd treatment made her tense, as she noticed that Elizabeth avoided her look and the latter had asked Alex and Nadine to get inside the car quickly.
“Your mom already volunteered to pack your clothes, honey,” Philippe informed Sophia. “She seems such an eager beaver wanting to leave for Forest Green.”
Sophia nodded and gazed at her mother’s direction. “Thanks, Mom.” She was laid-back but she suddenly shut off, when Elizabeth didn’t provide any response. It appeared Elizabeth was mad for something Sophia couldn’t figure out, herself.
In the face of it, Sophia quickly got her stuff upstairs. But she was bothered that she wasn’t able to, at least, buy a simple gift for her grandma’s birthday.
There were some troubles on the way to Forest Green. A heavy rain came upon them and made the roads wet and slippery. They stopped over at some Walmart, from one city to another, until the weather was finally in their favor.
Sophia hated the rain. The evening dew and cold gust sent a chill down her spine and reminded her of the forest, of Abanir, and the night they’d spent marvelously, at the falls.
As she sat in the rear and watched the droplets run down the car window and create a smog, she disregarded the fact she missed Jericho, too. She knew he was already in Forest Green today. Nadine had a slip of the tongue, mentioning it, when they had already exited Orlando a moment ago.
She rested her eyes and sensed that Elizabeth was watching her through the rear-view mirror. The car slowed as soon as Philippe had successfully overtaken the white sedan before them, and this made Sophia dwell on some things silently until she finally fell asleep in the midst of her siblings’ enthusiasm for Forest Green.
It was evening when they arrived at Forest Green, and to their surprise, the air there wasn’t humid at all. The land was dry, and it hadn’t rained.
Straight ahead to her room, Sophia greeted no one, not even her Auntie Bea. It was as if she had no face to show to everybody. She already assumed that the gossip about her and Jericho had already come to them, ahead of time.
“I’m not hungry.” Sophia was solid in her decision when Auntie Bea came to her room and reminded her of dinner. Irritation churned to the surface despite her efforts to contain it to herself.
“Sophia…” Bea begged, her expression looking fretful each time Sophia would isolate herself. Then and now.
“Please, Auntie Bea.” Sophia’s face creased even more and she began looking for a pair of pajamas from her luggage. “Tell them I’m going to sleep now.” Then she sighed heavily the moment she couldn’t find one, hating to admit her mother had forgotten to pack her nighties.
“Your other luggage is still downstairs,” Bea said. “Your mom asked me not to bring it to you. She wants you to carry it for yourself.”
Another sigh came out from Sophia. She didn’t know there was another one. “Right,” she said, thinking her mother intended it so she could go downstairs and be forced to join dinner. “I’ll get it later, after dinner time.”
“All right then. But are you sure you’re skipping dinner?” Bea, once again, attempted.
“Yes, Auntie. And thank you for tonight.” Sophia didn’t fail to bequeath her a simple smile.
“Good night then.”
Sophia lay down on the bed, with a spinning vision at the ceiling. The aching to see Jericho did not help her feel at-rest. And there was Abanir, too. And later on, another knock on the door jarred her.
Grandma Lucy entered her room, uninvited. “Hello, dear.” Her smile was mysterious, and to Grandma Lucy’s dismay, Sophia said nothing. Now that every secret had been leaked out, Sophia couldn’t look at her grandma the same way, anymore. Things were becoming cold and uneasy.
Grandma Lucy joined her in bed and blew her a kiss, then began asking about their long trip today.
Sophia appeared distant. She knew it was only her grandma’s introduction, and the main speech was to reprimand her and remind her of things that would only lead to misery. And she already knew of the conclusion—that was to remind her to avoid Jericho.
Yet Sophia was wrong. Her grandma was exposing other things. Shocking disclosures, in fact, that churned her emotions, further. “Jericho’s getting married, by the way,” Grandma Lucy, without any warning, said. Sophia’s heart felt like it was squeezed into bits. Her eyes almost oozed with tears of blood. She felt like she was being cut inside with a burning knife.
“He’s marrying Dr. Lee. She also works at the town’s hospital.” Stony-faced now, Grandma Lucy added the last words.
Sophia bled to the last drop. If only she could vanish like smoke at that moment. “Why do you keep on hurting me? Why?” she suddenly asked, as fast as sound waves and as cold as ice. “I’m tired of all of these! Can you not be gentle enough?” Then she paced away from her grandma and pulled herself together. But each time she tried, she could only burst out: “You’re so good at manipulating people…” She was shaking, as tears continuously welled up in her eyes. “You’re so good at playing with my emotions.”
Watching her, Grandma Lucy remained standing, unbending. For her, the news needed to arrive early, before Sophia would find it out from other sources. She wanted Sophia to know the truth already and deal with it. This was not the time for preludes. Then to her shock, Sophia rejected the news.
Sophia shuddered, swaying her head in disbelief and flashed back to her last kiss with Jericho. It was dangerously sweet but the sweetness had faded away the moment she felt the sting of some guilt.
Grandma Lucy’s fears grew worse. She couldn’t stand the sight of Sophia, and how she was reacting to it. “For goodness’ sake, Sophia! Have you forgotten?” Grandma Lucy hurled towards her, and almost said the words, “He’s your brother.”
Oh help, it was too much. Sophia almost felt she just took her last breath, and she rushed to leave the house, draining with tears. It was the first time she had ever felt such kind of jealousy, and it was an ordeal for her.
Dark and spooky, she didn’t know where the street would lead her. The moonshine was the only source of light, away from her grandma’s. Around her, there were the sounds of crickets and frogs coming out, from the side streets. She looked back and the manor was already undetected.
Rage won out and crushed fear! She kept on walking, regardless of the danger before her. Her own silhouette was her only companion that night. Life was cruel to her. She was fading. Lost and empty. She was back there again. Tonight, she prayed she wouldn’t die of pain and sorrow.
Soon, a car was rushing toward her. It was her father, after he learned of her escape from Grandma Lucy. “Sophia, honey, please get in the car,” he pleaded, slowing down in his driving so as to get into her weary pace.
Sophia zipped her mouth. She needed nobody to talk to her tonight. No word could ever mollify the uproars inside of her, not even her father’s. If only she had known beforehand, she could have stayed with her mom, Francheska, in Orlando. She could have sobbed in her mother’s chest, and said that the only man she had ever truly loved was already in the arms of another woman. And with this, her body failed her. She could not walk on.
“Let’s talk about it at home. It’s too dangerous in here,” Philippe persisted.
Still, Sophia followed her own way.
“Sophia, it’s dangerous here!” Now, Philippe’s voice had increased.
“I don’t want to go back there, Dad. I’m leaving.” Sophia seemed a little girl again, refusing to go to bed early. For her, home felt more tormenting than any other place she could go.
“If you keep on walking, where do you think this road will lead you, huh?” Philippe then challenged her, unsuccessful because Sophia had resumed her walk.
“I don’t even care about it anymore…”
Her feedback disheartened Philippe more than her unwillingness to cooperate. He tried to understand her, and convinced himself that his adopted daughter was still in shock and he had some fault, too, for not telling her. But it was the type of fault that was made in good faith, with the best of intentions, like any good father would do, to protect his daughter from being hurt, swiftly. Too bad this had hurt her more. It wasn’t what he expected.
Now, Philippe got out of the car and stopped Sophia from her stride. “Honey, please get in the car,” he pleaded, and his approach was softer now. He worried too much. Sophia might be harmed, especially at this hour. A dark and empty road was never safe for a young woman like her.
“Dad, I don’t want to go back there! I hate that place. Please, you must understand,” Sophia asserted, now with a plea that softened her father’s heart.
“Fine.” Philippe eased himself with a sigh. “If you don’t want to get back there, just get in the car, then. I will take you downtown, to a diner. I’m sure you’re starving.”
Sophia doubted him. Neither of them moved for a second. Then, quickly realizing she was indeed hungry, she nodded and entered the car without a word. Philippe had never felt dread, before. That deal with Sophia was the hardest negotiation he had ever made, for a man who did business for most of his life.
“Why didn’t you tell me he’s getting married?” Sophia asked, right after a few moments of silence in the car. “I could have decided to skip grandma’s birthday.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you…” There was no certainty in Philippe’s voice.
“You should have told me before we left. I’m old enough to deal with it.”
“I’m sorry…”
“And right now, Dad, I just wanna go back to Orlando tonight.”
Although Sophia was already lashing at Philippe, driving him to the edge, himself, Philippe tried to be more of a caring father. “I can’t just let you leave, Sophia. I feel better if you’re here with us.”
“Then, what do you want me to do, Dad? Stay here and snivel, or wait to die? I can’t take any more pain, Dad.”
To Philippe’s surprise, Sophia had never been too expressive of her feelings, like this, especially regarding Jericho. He didn’t know what to say anymore. This was not what he had asked for. When Grandma Lucy talked to him about Jericho’s sudden decision to marry, he was in shock too, but he knew it was the best for Jericho. And for Sophia, as well. For the two of them to finally set off and be emancipated from all the ploys of the past.
Still, no was his answer to Sophia’s plea.