going on, so long as they sell booze on a dead Thursday and get it over with quickly. Tonight it is
a five-band bill featuring OCTAGON, Tenebrous, Demoncy, Crimson Moon, and Unnamed
Generic BM Band.
Outside the poverty-stricken disparity rides high. In the field adjacent to Benchwarmers
is a small black community nestled in an ugly grotto of brown one-floor shacks that are fenced in
with barbed wire & surrounded by humongous steel electrical poles. University Drive, the
highway clearly visible from the parking lot, is a lengthy haul of fast food franchises & business
complexes. Most side streets connecting to it are pure dirt, and all homes are middle-class
suburban at best.
Mortigan has just pulled out these massive inverted crucifixes for each side of the stage –
just large pieces of timber nailed together and spray-painted black. It is budget-friendly and
charmingly satanic. The crowd is so antisocially kvlt they wouldn’t go up front and watch
OCTAGON play, because they are “posers” for not sounding exactly like Mayhem or
Darkthrone, even though Mortigan bought eight pizzas and fed everyone out of his own pocket.
I was the only guy actually moving around during their set, which surprised Mortigan
completely, because apparently no one allows themselves to have fun at these gigs. Smiling is not
black metal, socializing is not kvlt, and OCTAGON don’t have corpse-paint or war-gear,
therefore the scene police must be called out with Himmler fanaticism. On top of that Pest had to
cancel, so no one is excited to see Octagon without the Norwegian legend.
Unnamed Generic BM Band get on stage. They are skinny kids in their early 20’s and
have been giving everyone ‘grimmer than thou’ stares all night. The demonically possessed faces
that the bald, corpse-painted bass player keeps making – with his teeth clenched angrily like
Gargamel – cause me to bust out laughing during their opening number. This burly, biker-esque
NYDM member from Birmingham nudges me and says: “I swear man, if he looks at me like that
one more time, I’m gonna knock out his fuckin’ teeth.”
Yeah, this band is ugly and underground, but they look so damn silly trying way too hard.
They are without a doubt the most unthreatening black metal band I’ve ever seen. The vocalist is
a skinny, short kid with white laces curled to the top of his knee-high storm trooper boots. He
leads into the next song by Sieg Heiling the audience, trying to get a wave going like its Dodgers
Stadium. When some of the sports yokels walk out in protest of this, the flatulent group onstage
gets even more pissed off because it’s not a trve Aryan whatever USBM gig. Seriously, when I
think of the master race, these guys are last in line…
VILE, TIPPER GORE & A MAN NAMED LANCE
I slink out back with Mortigan’s buddy Lance Wright, who was of the homecoming crowd that
greeted me at Morty’s apartment. Eight people immediately shaking my hand, all involved in
music as label head, musician, or promoter.
My reputation had preceded me, and I realized just how important my arrival was to these
guys -- to have a real-life metal journalist guy spend 30 hours on a Greyhound just to hang out for
a week in Nowheresville. I was a rock star and it felt good, not some blown-off bum with a tape-
recorder sleeping in the park.
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I was slopped with 7 t-shirts and 20 records before Mortigan dragged me in the kitchen.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d be into, so I got them all.” He waved his arm across his tabletop and
revealed an armada of booze. A fifth of Jack Daniels, a half gallon of Jim Beam, a 30 case of
Budweiser, and two gallons of Southern Comfort (one mint, one normal).
Six hours later and we’re working on the mint SoCo as Lance Wright lights a blunt in his
car. It is pouring rain, lightning and thunder are crashing, the humidity is thick as clam chowder.
Lance relates his experience as the touring drummer of famed death metal act VILE, plus his
local duties in Tipper Gore, Quinta Essentia, and Lysia Gori: “Tipper Gore is oldschool thrash,
Dark angel type thrash, super high-soaring vocals. Conceptually it’s a Christian band. Garth
from Fleshtized started it is a holy roller, but he writes some good riffs. I‘m not Christian in any
way, but I do like good metal… Lysia Gori, I started that also with Garth, but when I got back
from the Vile tour he decided he was too Christian to play that kind of metal. Christianity is part
of a big disease on this side of the country.”
“Why do you think people have grafted on to it so hard here?”
“Part of it’s just the upbringing. My whole family is Christian, and I was forced to go to
church as a child. People dress nice and go to Church here on Sunday, and I only went as a kid to
see my friends. Meet up, smoke pot, have a few beers in the parking lot. That’s the first place I
heard a lot of metal actually.”
“How would you best describe the Alabama music scene?”
“It’s always been tight because there’s almost no scene in the South. It used to have this
supply of amazing musicians but they didn’t do anything but sit home and practice. The best
guitar players I’ve ever heard were here in Huntsville, but they didn’t do anything.”
“Tell me some tour stories.”
“The last tour I did was playing drums for Epoch of Unlight, with Byzantine and God
Dethroned from Germany. They were just happy to be in America. It was a shitty tour, the
manager wasn’t doing his job. The places where people come out and support are the East and
West Coast. Anywhere in between you’re lucky if you get a hundred people. You still have to
play these places, because it’s real shitty if you don’t.”
“What do you think is going to give a big jumpstart to the dead, middle of America
scene?”
“Black metal is dead in Alabama. The scene that draws out the kids is this plastic kind of
rock. Young kids can’t get into the clubs so all ages places are what’s up. Most are really into
metal, any kind as long as it’s difficult and heavy. It’s stuck underground though, because of the
locals. A lot of the kids like the singing and the screamo.”
“Give me a crazy story.”
“We were on tour in Albuquerque. Our bassist had gotten this really hi-grade medical pot
in San Fran. It was just in his book bag and stunk up the whole van. We had just left the show and
we decided to light it up. Soon as we sparked it we got pulled over. The van is just full of smoke,
and the cop tells us he’s writing us a ticket for speeding and we have until the time he comes back
to throw it out. We knew we had to throw something out, so we tossed a fat bud, and when he
came back he searched us and found a bowl. He just said, ‘Now you can go.’ That was just the
luckiest thing that had ever happened to me. Having a cop know we have drugs, that we were
doing drugs, and still let us go.”
“I had a buddy that was rolling a blunt in a parking lot in Detroit. They just finished
licking it up, and this cop walks up and they’re caught red handed holding this thing. He’s
like, ‘You boys stay here, let me see your licenses, give that thing to me.’ So they’re sitting in
the car all paranoid, already stoned, the police lights are flashing behind them. They can see
this giant cloud of smoke through their rear view mirror, because the cops are blazing this
massive blunt in their squad car. Then the cop comes back, his eyes are red as fuck, and he’s
just like ‘You can go now...”
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IN THE SPIRIT OF THE MARQUIS
It’s been a long, hung-over day; Mortigan hyperactively burned me every album in his massive
library. He’s introduced me to Brainbombs, Whitehouse, Drudkh, Deathspell Omega and so many
others. The apartment echoes the sonic pummeling of Apocryph and Troll -- walls coated in
posters of Emperor, Burzum; a lengthy library rests in the corner filled with Marquis de Sade,
Lovecraft, Nietzsche, cryptozoology & WWII history.
He doesn’t make any false claims about the BDSM obsession. Both he and his girlfriend
are scarred remnants of deep straight-razor mutilation, and there are gas-masks & weird sexual
utensils nicely arranged like decorative IKEA set-pieces. He has a massive collection of ultra-
graphic bondage magazines from Europe plastic-and-back boarded like comic books, and boxes
of sadistic and bizarre porn – anilingus, syndyasmian, androgalactozemia…
Friday night, approaching 10pm. We’ve been listening to the heart-felt tunes of local
acoustic artist Micky McBride and dying of laughter from the wacky antics of Max Hardcore &
Fart Smelling Party. Morty even has a GRUNT bootleg where Mikko Aspa jacks off on a dead
gerbil during a noise performance in Russia.
Another liquor run later and we’ve made it to the only goth/fetish/metal club in all of
Alabama. It’s called TABU, this is its 4th week of existence. Strobes, shifting lights, polka-dot
patterns, glass cages with bikini girls, grinder shows on deck, slutty burlesque girls climbing over
each other behind glass windows and huaking shots in teeny skirts – a nexus of anaxiphilia...
Of the two open areas one is the dance floor/bar and a stage packed with go-go cages, the
other a small stage in another room where live bands perform. Inside the huge complex there are
only 20 people. I’m told that at its peak, the scene here might consist of 100, many driving 3-5
hours just to hang out because the terrain is so desolate. This is the only glimpse of such an
underground possible in the South, and it contains more enthusiasm then any of its ilk either in
Frisco or NYC. Unless business strikes, the drowning will continue.
Morty has been running promotions for main-brain Rich Ponder, and Ponder himself is
painted up like a clown from Hell, spinning Rammstein & Manson as the DJ. The one live group
for the evening is an industrial metal/nu-rock act along the lines of Static X with a few Rob
Zombie covers.
Such a band would be cannibalized in Detroit, but the attendees are overjoyed. This
crowd has the vibe of total release -- somewhere authentic to be totally weird in a disastrous
population of ornery pigs. The Godsmack cover is excused, because we all have funny colored
hair & no one is trying to shake us up…
“Tell me about your promotions.”
Rich Ponder: “My stage-name is Otis The Clown. I’m part of a group we call Dark
Family Entertainment. We’re basically a bunch of hams that work at strip clubs. Four nights a
week I’m a strip club DJ. We’d started doing fetish shows in Nashville at the swinger and goth
clubs, but the laws in Nashville are real tricky. We were contacted by the owner of Tabu and were
told ‘do your thing.’ We’re trying to bring out are different genres of the underground scenes, be
it the metal, fetish, the swingers, the gays and lesbians. They’re all welcome here. No one’s going
to look twice at you for being in a full-leather outfit or a suit. Last week we brought The
Porcelain Twins. They’re identical twin fetish performers who are phenomenal. We had
Sideshow Benny, who’s one of the best sideshow artists in the nation. We want to bring what you
cannot find anywhere else in the South-East.”
“There are very few clubs like this in the area?”
“I know it can’t be found in Tennessee. You have your goth nights but they don’t have
live bands. You get your fetish clubs and they don’t have live bands. There’s the dungeon scene
but that is very private to people. They can come out here and do that too. We’ve had S&M acts
and if people want to play, that’s fine.”
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“Are you a big PT Barnum fan? When I used to do a lot of shows I’d adopt this kind of
Johnny Carson persona and introduce all the bands. I see you have the same type of
approach.”
“I like to present it all as a carnie. When I’m here, I am a character. I mean, anyone ever
seen a clown that spins metal? I dress exactly like this in a haunted house. I’ve been in the
Haunted House industry for 18 years, ever since I was 13. I’d rather be in The Slaughterhouse in
Nashville then a strip club, and I make way more money in a strip club. I used to be a side-show
fire performer. But ever since Great White, it changed the rules. If we get more attendance we’ll
be able to start doing that stuff outside.”
“What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had in here so far?”
“We had some guys that were part of a dungeon S&M group. They were going to do
some demos with a violent wand, which is very mild electric shock. That night was our first night
booking bands and we didn’t know what to expect. While the first band ever is loading in, I look
over and see a woman wearing nothing but a thong and titty-tape and this guy is punching her in
the ribs, just beating the hell out of her and she’s loving it. The keyboardist won’t even come in
the building. Turns out they’re a Christian band that sounds like Dave Matthews. That was only
three weeks ago. We’ve been talking to some big bands who could sell this place out ten times
over. We’re sorting our riders, but I’m not privileged to say because nothing is set in stone. That’s
what’s going to put us on the map.”
“Tell me about the Bible Belt environment.”
“It’s breathing down our neck everyday. In Nashville they’ve passed laws to change the
strip club industry to where you can’t get within three feet of the stage. Lap dances are obsolete.
We got cited a $10,000 fine for a girl wearing nothing but rope. It was covered, of course. We
had a $10,000 fine for having a cartoon nipple on a banner.”
“What are other side promotions do you run?”
“My partner’s dad owns a steel shop, so we figured ‘why not make our own dance
cages?’ Within a few weeks we’ve got a couple of small pup cages, pyramid cages. One of our
pyramids was recently used for a movie called The Pet, which is about the S&M slave trade. We
also made a circular cage for Budweiser, their world tour for their Anheuser Select beer. We are
pretty busy, driving two hours here and back every week, on top of our jobs which we’re working
up to 14 hours a day.”
“What’s the message behind what you do?”
“Everyday life sucks, everybody knows it, there’s no reason to whine about it. I’m a
white kid that grew up in East St. Louis, dirt poor with nothing, and I’ve been a fuck-up half my
life. But I found something I was good at, and that goes for everyone in here. They have their
own thing, and we’re trying to give them a place where they can have it. But it is still
entertainment. I see people getting mixed up in different scenes and they take it too far. I’ve
played in death metal for years and I’ve seen people that are just fucking whack jobs. Part of it is