Chapter 16
Love Letters from 1982
January 11, 1982
Dear, Dear Judy,
So patient so nice to me and I'm so bad at writing. I wish I could swear I'd change but I can't. But I think it will be easier to write because I'll have more things to write about. My life is becoming better.
In this country a tradition is the State of the Union message. The president gives his message to Congress and the country – it is a short summary of everything that happened and an idea of what is going to happen the following year.
Here is my State of the Union:
School:
School went pretty well for me this year. I completed 21 credits and did well grade wise – considering I was working two jobs at times. I took nine units last semester and it almost got me – it was very tough, a lot of work but I made it through in good condition, two B's and 1 C. I have 15 credits (five courses) left to graduate. I plan to take six units this semester, one course this summer and six units in the fall and graduate in December. Beginning with my last semester, I'll start looking for a job through the placement office. A lot of companies recruit on campus and accounting is a popular field so I should have many choices.
Work:
I had a lot of change here. I started the year working at Casa Royale Apartments as a live– in security guard. But I got fired for no reason in June. A month later I got hired at the Marina Hotel/Casino. It's a better job with more money. I've been there six months and will get a raise next week.
Mainly, I spent time in the casino escorting employees carrying money, making money fills at the blackjack and craps tables and walking around the casino keeping out minors, helping people with slot machine problems and giving directions. It's not something I would want to do for the rest of my life but the job pays decently, is located nearby and the people I work with are nice.
Financial:
This is the area I made the most improvements. For the first time in 10 years I'm not paying money to a loan company. Also I paid off my Visa card. I still owe some on my Master Charge but I should have that paid off in a couple of months. I also have some money in the bank which is a nice feeling.
Now I'm going to do something different. I'm going to tell you what I like in a woman and what I don't like.
I like a woman to be gentle, kind and nonaggressive. I want someone who tries to please me because I will be trying to please her.
I want her to be a good cook, fun, exciting, willing to try different things and have a good sense of humor.
I want someone who is considerate, consoling, someone who can lift my spirits and can share my happiness I've waited a long time to have the right person so I'm probably pretty fussy.
I don't want someone who smokes, is bitchy, inconsiderate.
I want someone who can cook or learn to cook. I'm sick of my cooking I can tell you.
I wind this up by wishing you and us a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Tell me things you'd like to find in the man.
Lots of Love, Jeff
January 26, 1982
Judy is so nice she always numbers the pages of her letters so when I take them out of the envelope like now I can figure out which the order very easily that's very nice of her – another one of her many wonderful traits
Dearest Jeff,
Thank you for your letter which I had waited for so long. It was so nice hearing from you with lots of them prove men's in your life. I wish I was part of it. By the way, before I go on further I'd like to say thank you for your Christmas present. I like it and I appreciated very much. You're such a thoughtful person which I like for a man.
Well, I like a man who is gentleman, responsible and not aggressive. I want someone who can be trusted, can make his own decision and now dependable. I want someone who has a stable job, non-– smoker if possible. I want someone who is considerate, kind and thoughtful. He must have a good sense of humor also. (Note from Jeff: that's me perfectly).
I'm not a good cook but I want to try and very interested to learn more cooking. I want to learn to cook American food if I'll have a chance. Here at home I don't have chance to do some cooking because they prefer to have Chinese food every time and we have our Chinese cook to do the cooking every day. What I only know are the simple Filipino cooking. My uncle had written to me a week ago telling to save enough money if I really want to go to USA. Then I'll apply for tourists because this would be the easiest and fastest way to get visa were going America decides a fiancé visa of course. I believe this will be a good idea but I think I really need so much amount. I don't know when all this be realized. However, I'm doing my best for savings. How about your mom and dad? How are they getting on? Hope they are both fine. Did you pay a visit to them during Christmas and New Year? What is your New Year's resolution?
Well, keep up your good writing and more prosperity for the year of 1982.
Take care of yourself and my love and warmest regards to you as usual.
God bless you always! Please write so soon.
With Love, Judy
I wish you Happy Valentines!
January 14, 1982 was the second year of our being "sweethearts". I don't know if you still remember. Anyway, happy anniversary!!
February 8, 1982
Dear Judy,
Another nice letter you sent me and so quickly. I was sitting around and felt guilty. You're so nice about writing back quickly I should do the same.
I have a lot of things to tell you. I got fired from my job as a security guard at the Marina Hotel. It happened last Wednesday. It was certainly unexpected on my part. Last November our graveyard shift got a new sergeant and relief sergeant. They were both worse than the people they replaced. I've worked with them from November and never really had trouble with them. But both of them are not nice people, working for them wasn't very pleasant. Actually I'm better off by being fired. I'm eligible to collect unemployment pay. So what I'm going to do is collect unemployment and go to school full-time. Originally I signed up for six units on was planning to graduate in December. Now I'll take 12 units the spring semester and then one course during the summer and graduated July.
Plus now I can start recruiting through the college for an accounting position. So I am looking on this as an opportunity.
A quick few sentences about my getting fired as a security guard. The guy who became the new shift Sgt. was an American Indian. I think the guy he hired as the relief shift supervisor was also an Indian. Basically they fired me because they had some more Indian buddies they wanted to find jobs for. I remember when I got hired I was told well, we don't pay security guards very much for the first six months they work at the Marina Hotel because they always quit and so we decided that we would give all our security guards a big raise after they work six months. So I figured two things hurt me: One: I was coming up upon my six month so I would've gotten a big raise and Second: the American Indian guy is prejudiced and biased so he wanted to hire his Indian buddies instead of a white honky like me.
Typical way I get screwed. Sometime during the first six months Daylight Savings Time occurred. And so on one shift I had to work nine hours instead of eight hours because the clock went back at 2 AM in the morning to 1 AM and so I still had to work to 6 AM in the morning so I put in nine hours.
I remember asking if I would get an hour of overtime? The shift supervisor who was the nice guy: (remember the guy who got married for the eighth time to the cocktail waitress who was getting married for the fourth time, told me will don't worry about it because in six months the clocks will go forward for daylight savings time so the clock will go from 2 AM to 3 AM so you'll only have to work seven hours. Naturally this American Indian guy fired me a couple of days before I would've had my seven hour shift and got my hour back. I don't think they really cared that I get screwed out of an hour but a typical example of things that happen in my life.
I have never liked being a security guard – it's boring, low-paying, non-– intellectual and dangerous. (I do have to tell you that the American Indian shift sergeant did have a lot of balls and fired me at the end of my shift that morning. There can't be too many people who would be dumb enough to fire somebody who's packing a loaded .357 magnum pistol. I bet if you tried that today you're likely to get shot. Of course he had a gun to, but I am sure, quicker draw. Ha – ha.)
I've had my fill of jobs working for idiots, putting up with stupid rules and never receiving the least bit of praise or recognition. Now I’ll have the time to concentrate on school and my upcoming career.
I'm in pretty good shape financially. I've saved about $1,500 and should be able to go through the semester without cutting into my savings too much. I'll let you know how I'm doing with recruiting the semester.
In my last letter I told you many of the qualities I'm looking for in a woman. What I didn't tell you and should have is that I believe you have those qualities and a gentleness that I really appreciate. Believe me when I get the money we will get together someplace – Hong Kong or Las Vegas and go from there and see how we feel about each other.
I'm sorry I don't have any pictures to send. I really like your pictures – you are very beautiful woman – I like your long hair and lovely body. Coupled with all your lovely qualities you're quite a fine woman and I look forward to seeing you in person soon.
Lots of Love, Jeff
February 11, 1982
I have a nice big envelope with lots of postage stamps that I mailed February 11 so I know I sent Judy a Valentine's Day card this year cause that's when Valentine's Day is.
February 17, 1982
Dearest Jeff,
it was so thoughtful of you sending a beautiful Valentine card. I had received it just this afternoon and really I appreciate it very much. Also thank you for your nice letter.
For me, I'm glad to for your being fired from your job in that case you can concentrate to your studies. Will be a little hard for you working and going to school at the same time especially that you're finishing your course. Since you don't need your job that much as you said you're financially in good shape then it's fine.
Jeff, I don't understand I was a little confused the way you explained about finishing school. You said since you been fired from your job and can give more attention with your studies and take 12 units the spring and three units are one course during the summer and graduate in July. For when you mean to graduate? Is it this coming July, 1982 or next of 1983?? I'll pray for you to success with the recruiting job.
Oh I miss you Jeff that I'm anxious to see you in your latest photos. Hope you have some pictures of yourself and send the copies to me soon. Okay??
I'm doing just fine but feel cold as a become cooler here at the moment. We are now using a heater and have one each in our bedroom. But I feel not good when I get up in the morning with the heater. I don't know when this will be last. Hopefully soon!! How about you over there? I know the cold weather has been turned bad in America this winter. Hope you're doing fine with it. Take care of yourself.
Well, it's getting so late and I feel very sleepy. I must say good night for now. Till next time. Do write so soon. Okay?
My Love and warm regards to you always. Please give my special of regards to your mom and dad.
I plan to marry this woman; just great that it is almost 30 years ago amazing – how lucky I am to have her.
Much Love, Judy
March 4, 1982
Dear Judy,
I enjoyed your letter. Sorry to hear you're cold. The weather here in Las Vegas is gotten very spring-like. The temperature here is in the 70s (Fahrenheit) (23°C).
For some reason the United States is different from the rest of the world and measuring temperature and in lots of other areas (we use inches, feet, and yards while the rest of the world uses the metric system). I really don't know why.
Since my last letter I have had three job interviews to the University Placement Office. The first interview was with Ramada inns – a nationwide chain of hotels and I think also they have some overseas.
The second interview was with Touche, Ross, a worldwide accounting firm.
The third was with Nevada National Bank, a large statewide bank.
I think I did well in the interviews. I won't know anything for about a month. In March I have seven more interview schedule. Keep you posted.
I am going to graduate this summer in August.
My mom and dad are fine – thanks for thinking of them I should have some photos very soon.
Love, Jeff
March 19, 1982
Dear Judy,
I finally got some pictures to send you. These are pictures I had taken at school. I'm using them with resumes I am sending out.
I'm still interviewing and started sending out resumes to companies that don't visit the campus. No job offers yet but it's still early. I'm going to think positive.
School is going well. Without having to work I have plenty of time for my homework and studying.
I've been playing golf and tennis more. The weather is getting a lot nicer.
Hope everything is going well for you. Alleged you know of any good things that happened to me in the job market.
Take care.
Love, Jeff
April 27, 1982
Dear Judy,
Sorry I didn't write sooner but I was pretty busy. A good friend of mine is Rich Cuccia, from Madison, Wisconsin. Three of his friends from Wisconsin dropped into Las Vegas to surprise him. Well, they were surprised because they expected to stay with him. But unknown to them Rich’s parents were here also and they were staying with him. So I let the three stay with me. We had a good time running around the town playing tourists. Also they cook for me and that was nice – I'm tired of eating my own cooking.
I still haven't gotten a job yet but it's still early. I've had many interviews and I'm sending out lots of resumes and it will pay off one of these days.
The weather is now perfect – spring is really here.
Why don't you try to convince the people you work for to take a vacation in Las Vegas? They have a great time and we could get together.
Love, Jeff
May 28, 1982
Dear Jeff,
Sorry for not writing you so soon. I was lazy about writing letters lately so I've got a lot of letters to be answers this time. Well, I got your voice date a week ago and yet I had played it many times before I'm going to sleep. You have a really nice voice and it was enjoying of listening to it. The voice I heard on the phone when I spoke to you last year was exactly the same as in the tape.
You have a good sense of humor which I like it. One of the things I like to a person is that he/she has a sense of humor. I'm glad that you have a lot of things to say on the tape then in the letters. I myself is not a good letter writer either but I'm trying harder just to avoid communication gaps between us. Sometimes I really find it hard to form somewhat a letter but like as I said I'm doing my best.
I feel reluctant about taping my voice at the moment because I don't like to hear my voice on the tape as it sounds so different. And besides I can't think of anything to say or to tell you. I had mentioned to you in the letter a lot of things about myself that I can't think what to tell you right now. Perhaps when I'll have a free time one of these days and in the mood to do it I'll enclosed on the package that I'm going to send you for your birthday. I guess you're going to be 35 on your coming up birthday and I wondered when you get married. Better plan now otherwise you can't see the growing of your children!! By the way, I'll send also the tape back to you to fill it up the other side.
How about your mom and dad? Did you have a nice time with them? Hope so! I really hope to meet them someday. I've got the impression that all like your parents to the way I like you. I have a quite different personality and character from your sister and probably like you to in person will we meet someday soon.
Thank you for liking my pictures. Please don't expect too much because I knew I'm not pretty lady. (Judy is dead wrong, she is gorgeous). Judith you see in the pictures is exactly the same in person.
Well, bye for now and with all my best of regards. Also give my warmest regards to your mom and dad.
Love, Judy
June 7, 1982
Dear Judy,
You never have to apologize for being slow in writing. I'm the champ of slow writing. And I don't have that many people I write to. Many times it just seems I don't have that much to write about. But that's no excuse because I know you like to hear from me and I like to hear from you. Your letters are fine – don't apologize for that. I think your kind, generous, nice, gentle personality comes through very well from your letters.
And remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think you are beautiful. I suffer from the same thing you do – lack of self-confidence. Everybody tells me I am much more critical of myself that I should be. And I find it hard to believe. I'm great at giving advice but slow and taking it.
I had a very nice time with my parents. They were here for three days and got a much needed rest after the long trip from Australia. My folks filled up my refrigerator and bought me new pots and dishes.
You can keep the tape. I have plenty of tapes I will make up a new one and send it to you soon.
I still don't have a job yet but I'm hopeful.
You are a lovely, kind, beautiful person – believe in yourself.
Love, Jeff
Wiley, my cat wants out so I'm getting up and letting him out – my daughter left me four critters – one cat, two dogs and a wonderful granddaughter and they keep me busy.
June 12, 1982
Dearest Jeff,
How are you doing with your everyday life? Did you have a great time with your mom and dad during their stop at your place? Hope you had! Did you get a chance to tell them about your nice girlfriend who was living in Hong Kong at the moment?? Just kidding!! By the way, how many pen friend you have outside America including myself?
I remember you had mentioned to me in a letter before that you have no girlfriend or serious girlfriend for such a long time and even at the moment. Is that true?? You know, I doubt because it's really pretty hard to believe. You're such a good-looking man and honestly frankly I like you. But I don't know if things will be the same for us if we meet someday in person.(Yes they were; it she's even better in person than in her letters which is pretty amazing isn't it?)
How about your school final exam; how did you find them?? Did you find that easy? And your resume for employment any good results about it? Well, hope and pray so!! Best of luck!
Jeff, I send back here your voice tape for you to fill up the other side. I did take three songs to raise my voice which I had taped it at first because I really didn't like it to hear. You can erase them to you don't like it. I'm sorry Dear!!
But I did take a little of my voice here for you to listen at least you know how it sounds like in the tape. I hope you'll have a little patience to listen. Maybe after hearing it you'll say you don't like to hear it anymore either. Do you?? I don't know why I really dislike my voice on the tape. But honestly speaking on the phone a lot of people were saying that I have a very nice voice. I remember when I was working in Manila before as a clerk – secretary, most of the new likes to talk to me first because they'd asked me to put my boss on the phone. I should have a lot of things to ask you certainly but I think it's too personal and I don't want to bring up the topic. It should be come from you as your the man but of course it must be pure!
Everything must be seriously if in case will reach to that point. Because at the moment I really don't know how you feel about our friendships as I know we haven't meet in person yet.
Well, hope you like my birthday present. I really don't know what to buy for you Jeff, so I thought of this kind of clothing and hope that you would be fit to your taste.
Deep down in my heart I wish you a very wonderful happy birthday. May you have many more birthdays to come. With all my love and sweet kisses to you on your birthday and always. Please give my love and best of regards to your mom and dad. Hope to hear from you so soon. Please send back this tape to me plus your new one of course.
Much Love and kisses, Judy
P.S. Sorry I ran out of writing pad!
June 16, 1982
Dearest Jeff,
Thank you for your wonderful and inspired letter. I wish I could believe them. It was really nice hearing somebody telling me that way that I am as nice as this and that but sometimes deep down myself don't approve those sweet and lovely words. I really don't know why I can't believed it myself that I am capable to such personality. But sometimes of course, I believe also that I have that such personality, if the people who says such words to me were girls or women. But when they were man I don't know I find it hard to believe them. Anyway, thank you again for those kind words. I appreciate them.
I was happy for you that you had a wonderful time with your parents at their stop by. There really such nice folks. Aren't they?? Oh, I envy you. I wish someday soon a good chance will be with me to meet them.
Oh, I'm sorry Jeff; I didn't know that you don't want me to send back the tape to fill up the back. Because when I received your letter I've just been gone from Post Office to mail that package. I should have been mailed the week before but do to the wet weather; it was raining so hard I didn't have a chance to go out. I hope you got it in time. Sorry about the few voice tape I recorded for you. You can hear also there my little boy voice, the one I'm looking after. He was crying because he wants to change the tape into music and didn't want me to touch. He wants to do it himself.
Actually, I bought a new blank tape to fill up for you but the thing was I can't think of many things to say about myself. I had remember I almost had mentioned to you are ready in a letter about my background is all about myself I think, I don't want them to mention all over again. But if you have any questions or anything that you want to know them go ahead. You can ask me.
Well, I'm looking forward to your new tape you mentioned in the letter and please send back also the first one because I'm playing them when I go to bed before falling asleep. I really do like listening to you with your voice and frankly, I feel myself alive. That's no kidding!!
I hope and pray you can get a job very soon. Bye for now and always do give my special regards to your mom and dad. If you do have their photos please send me a copy. I really like to see them even Justin picture. Okay??
Keep my Love and best of regards always. Lots of Love, Judy
July 5, 1982
Dear Judy,
I'm very busy with school and can't make a tape right now. I'll make you one as soon as I can.
Love you, Jeff
July 30, 1982
Dear Jeff,
1 million thanks for sending your mom and dad's pictures. I was really nice to see them in photos. I appreciated very much. They look so sweet each other at their age and that's really wonderful.
Also thanks for your voice tape began. As you know, I enjoyed listening and this time I played it early in the morning if I wakes up at around 3:30 or 4 AM... And when going to bed in the evening I'm reading my books until I'm falling asleep.
Jeff, I'm sorry but I don't think I'll send the object you requested. Is not that I don't want to do it, you know, but the thing is I don't feel like doing it.
Anyway, instead I'll send you my photos here which taken the beach last June 25, 1982 when we went for swimming. Hope you take this with you to bed when you go to sleep and I just pretend I am at your side whenever you feel lonely. I'll pray and keep my fingers crossed that somehow someday soon will be together!
Wish you all the luck! Hope and pray you'll get a good job the soonest as possible.
Congratulations "advance" to your upcoming graduation!
Take care!
With Love and kisses, Judy
August 16, 1982
Dear Judy,
This is the last week of school so I'm studying hard.
I got a temporary job starting next week with the Elections Bureau. The job is for about three months – I'll keep looking for a permanent job.
Take care and keep sending sexy photos like the last one – you have a beautiful body to go with a beautiful personality.
Love, Jeff
September 21, 1982
Dear Judy,
I've been busy the last three weeks working for the Elections Department. It's hot, dirty work but it pays well and will get me back in the work habit. I still haven't gotten an accounting job offer yet but I keep trying.
I've applied for several accounting jobs with the US government. They're looking for auditors in the Defense Department (Army, Navy, Air Force etc.) It's about the only area that the US is spending more money.
My mom and dad are doing fine. My dad continues to make a wonderful recovery from the surgery.
I'll keep you posted on any job offers. They're still the possibility of going with the Peace Corps next March or April if nothing else turns up.
I'm glad to be done with school. I hope all is going well with you. I'll make you a tape soon and mail it as soon as I can get to the Post Office.
Lots of Love, Jeff
October 20th, 1982
Dear Judy,
I was very happy to receive your letter. I'm sorry about the tape, I'll make another one soon and make sure you can understand it.
You made me very happy with your words of love. I'm not very good with words like you are. You speak from the heart – a rare and beautiful quality – a quality I very much admire.
I want to tell you that I am in love with you also. Your letters bring me much happiness and are specially appreciated by me during this difficult time of trying to find a permanent job.
I am a one-woman man, and you are my woman. I want to make you happy. I would never want you to be unhappy and thus need permanent job with a good future before we can be together. Love is wonderful but money puts a roof over our heads and food on the table.
Life is given me much unhappiness but life is given you to me and you make me very happy.
Never be afraid to tell me your feelings. I love you too and hope we can meet very soon. I feel will we will be even happier in person and deep down I think we will be married some day. You're the best person in my life.
I hope I answered your questions. I don't and never would mislead you. I want you to know I'm doing all I can so we can have a happy future together. I'll keep working until I succeed. Until then letters and tapes will have to do.
So my Love keep smiling, keep saying prayer and have faith that all will be well for us. I'm certain it will be.
Love and kisses, Jeff
October 28, 1982
Dearest Jeff,
How's things going on you nowadays? Hope all is well. I've been in Macau last Sunday with my two cousins I think you have not idea how happy I am about your letter. I'm glad I wasn't in wrong timing. I've been exhausted of waiting for you to express the feelings you feel for me so I decided to ask you to know the end of our relationships because I find it hard to keep the feelings I feel for you any longer. "I'm in love with you Jeff Weber long time ago but I tried to fight and keep it in myself." As I said to you before I don't want to open the topic about "Love"! Remember?? Well, thanks our feelings are mutual. I'm really happy my love so now I'm sure that we love each other, I hope very soon will meet and things will be realized for us. Certainly life will be good and nice to us. I believe that on that!!
How's things going on with you nowadays? Hope all is well. I've been in Macau last Sunday with my two cousins and friend and I bought something for you. But I'll send them to you before Christmas.
Life hasn't changed for me, still a family breadwinner. Again time to send money to my younger brother for the second semester enrollment on last week of October, 1982 I need to send 3, 500 pesos in all next week. 1,000 pesos for my student, 1,200 pesos for my mother for her medical treatment and medicine and 1,300 pesos for my brother was applying for Saudi Arabia. This is my life and obligations in my family and I think I can't be out of this being financial support until I'll be married and have my own family.
All my best to your mom and dad and keep the most of it. Hope to hear from you so soon!!
With all my love and kisses.
Love you, Judy
P.S. please don't forget to make a voice tape.