I sat down at a bar-side window and found someone who was sitting alone,
sipping on their drink. I made a note not to look in their direction, and using my peripheral vision, I began pacing them. When they moved their arm up to their
head, I moved my arm up to my head. When they looked around to their left, I
looked around to my left. When they breathed in heavily, I breathed in heavily.
When they got on their phone and started talking, I put my phone up to my ear
and started talking. When they took a sip of their drink, I took a sip of my drink…
And sure enough, after a few minutes of this, they turned around and looked me
directly in the eye and smiled. So matching is really just the ability to effectively match what the other person is doing (verbally and non-verbally).
If you’re going to verbally match someone, then you may perhaps use the same
words they use in a differently structured sentence. For example, if you’ve just
met up with someone and they say, “I’ve had a great day, I’ve just been relaxing
down at the beach, enjoying the hot sunny weather while I read my book…” And
you reply, “That’s great, it’s a pretty hot sunny day today, and a great day for the beach that’s for sure, what sort of book are you reading?”
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