Dear God, thank You for helping me in my times of struggle, sharing with me the load of my
burden and wipe away my tears, thank You for healing my heart, thank You for always leaving
Your door open in my times of trouble, for always welcoming me back Home with open arms.
Sometimes I am scared, sometimes I doubt, sometimes I try to ignore You, but I can not escape the
FACT that without Your Love and guidance I am utterly miserable, without accepting You as part
of my Life there is a crushing emptiness and depression within me. I can no longer deny that You,
my God, Creator and Father know better than me what will fulfil me and bring me joy. You know
my heart and soul better and I want to trust You. Please help me to open my heart to You and to
listen to it.
My heart is Your cathedral, and You are my true Home.
Thank you.
Amen.
42
TO ALL OF YOU WHO HATE OVERCOMPLICATED PRAYERS…
And to all of you who prefer to write down your own heart felt prayers, I hope my words will
inspire you and help you somehow:
"Dear God, be my comfort, my peace, my home, my strength, my safe port in the tormented waters
of my Life. Please help me to be forgiving, to be humble, please guide me towards the Truth and
protect me and my family, friends and the ones whose life I have touched throughout my existence.
Please help me to bring Your comfort and Your healing to those in need whose path I have crossed.
Thank you.
Amen"
43
THE SHEEP THAT TURNED INTO A LION(ESS) – A STORY DEDICATED
TO ALL ABUSED MALE AND FEMALE VICTIMS
To all of you out there living in (verbal, physical, economic) abusive relationships, please, hear me:
God gave us freedom, it is the most precious jewel of all jewels, no one has the authority to take
from you what God granted you with. Find the courage in your hearts and the will power to turn
from "sheep" to "lions"/ “lionesses”. Fight, believe in yourselves. Your heart, your intuition, your soul will always tell you the Truth. Don't live in the illusion that without him/her you will not be
happy, stop telling yourselves lies! True happiness depends on you and ONLY YOU!
Buddha said: "There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way."
We all have dreams and no one but ourselves can fight for those dreams to happen. This is about
honestly and firmly say to your own self as a human being - "I deserve better !" - and believing in it with every breath you take, for as long as you live.
I feel exhausted, the negativity and the pain caused by people and the pain I have caused to him
have left me drained. We did and said to one another nasty, unbearably cruel things. But there is
something important I want you to understand about me: I am not religious and I am not Catholic,
but I know one thing for sure, one day I will forgive him, it is not in my nature to stay angry and
remain angry for years and years. When I forgive him (and those who have p*ssed me off
throughout my Life), then I will honestly feel at peace. I will not speak to him ever again, and I do
not wish to see him ever again in my Life time, but I want to forgive him. And no, I do not do it out
of fear of a punishing God or because the Catholic's Holy Book say so. I do it because when I sit
quietly there is this voice inside my head, it is always there, I just ignore it, and every time I ignore it I end up feeling miserable. So, in one simple sentence lets resume it: every
time I am not true and honest to myself, every time I fail to listen to my own heart and soul I end
up being and feeling miserable. Understanding and forgiving another human being is just as tough
as attempting to shatter a rock with your bare fists, but it is a big part of growing as a person. To
remain bitter and hateful destroys one's soul and everyone around them.
When it comes to the men that were part of my Life... I shall be grateful and I shall remember them
gracefully. I shall not let the sour moments of arguments destroy the beauty and wonderful
teachings they delivered to me. I shall forgive them, whatever hurt or pain they caused me in their
Life time. And finally, but not least, I shall acknowledge that these people appear in my Life and
because of them, I evolved and grew up and AM BECOMING WHO I AM.
I do not know if this comment is going to help you, although many of you may relate to
somehow... A few years ago I was lost and very sad about my life, job and choices. Was being well
paid and had enough money to pay bills, rent, holidays, nice clothes... But I felt bloody miserable. I
was forced over the years to ask myself who am I and dig within my heart this human being that
has been screaming and weeping in despair to be heard. I finally started listening to my heart and
ignoring my viciously logical head and took the "leap of faith": I left my job , I left the partner I was with (another miserable relationship) and without any sight of another job or family financial
44
support I just kept believing and thinking positive that I would make it work. Very slowly, over the
last three years I have come to see and recognize who I am. I have become self employed, I live a
very humble life, when I am working I deal with people's physical and emotional pain,
I have come to understand that deep in my heart I am a kind and generous human being. I feel
fulfilled and happy to help these people with their physical and emotional pain. I now understand
why I used to be so bitter and rude when I was working just for money without any passion for my
job or the people in my job . It is up to everyone of us to find out what is our path, to ask and listen
to whom we are, to hush all the noise and confusion in our heads. We all have the ability to heal
ourselves, but we must first believe and have honest faith in our heart and soul's voice. Whenever I
am lost, I listen to my heart, whenever I am in doubt, I sit quietly and listen to my heart. Our hearts
and souls will always speak the Truth of our selves.
Why am I willing to forgive a psychologically abusive man, you wander?! I tell you why - I
believe that when we are born, we are pure innocent children, I believe that every single violent
criminal / rapist / paedophile / abuser was once an innocent fragile new born baby craving love and
attention. My ex partner was a shy middle child that used to run into the woods in his free time and
seek the peace and protection of woodland solitude. WHY ? He was hiding from his much older
brother and sister that abused him sexually and psychologically. So he grew up in a house
environment in which his own brother and sister would black mail him if he dreamed of telling a
single word to his mom or dad. I forgive him because I know that maybe if he had grown up in a
different environment with a different family that loved and respected him, he would have turned
out to be a very, very different man from what he is today. I forgive him because I try to put myself
in his
shoes and imagine the terror of being forced to have sex against my will as a 12 year old child with
my own brother and sister!
So, may God give me and give you all the strength and the understanding you need to understand,
learn and forgive these tormented men and women we once loved and did the best we could to
share a life with. My ex partner's buried over the years anger / frustration has destroyed him, and
nearly destroyed me, will you let it destroy you ? If you do, you will become your abuser.
Do I think that it is too late for these very hurt people to turn around and be healed, if that is what
they genuinely will to do ? No, I don’t think that it is impossible at all. With God, all things are
possible.
"Often it’s the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self" ;
"You can live without money, but you cannot live without love." - Dalai Lama
www.dalailama.com/messages/compassion
www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/
45